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  1. I am a 20 young christian electrical engineer (studying at a Polytechnic University + working in Electrical Power Systems) from Europe, and I want to ask you for some godly advice concerning marriage, more exactly arranged marriages. First of all, before I say something about this, I want to ask if God has picked a spouse for everyone. The idea for me is that there is no specific Bible verse or passage that speaks of God picking specific persons for us to marry. There are four examples, Adam, Isaac, Hosea and Joseph, concerning God arranging marriages but all of these were special circumstances and I don't see how can we build a doctrine on special interventios of God to stipulate that He arranges marriages. The Bible speaks of finding wife but it also says that a good spouse is a gift from God. Apostle Paul says if someone decides freely in his heart then to marry his duaghter and in the following verse he also says that if someone single decides the same then he also should get married. Moreover, God through the Holy Spirit advised us to choose not to marry, saying that he who marries does god but he who not does better because he is concerned with God's work and not with pleasing a spouse. He also wants to spare us from the hardship of marriage and life. He recommends us virginity and celibacy and seeking the Kingdom but also encourages us to marry due to immorality. I for one don't have this gift and I know for sure that I can't stand to be single in celibacy so I will get married. Moreover, Bible talks about Abraham taking a wife, Judah taking a wife etc. Proverbs 31 was written for helping young men find a good godly wife. I agree that God guides us through the Holy Spirit and gives us wisdom to seek and find a wife. The Bible says that we should inform God of our plans and intentions and He will bring things to pass. But it is one thing to say that God guides us and something else to say that He is picking spouses for everyone. It is certain for me that the story of soul mates is mythical and originates from movies, romantic novels and from Plato's philosophy. There are some logical problems I find with this issue. If God picks someone for everybody what happens if the person dies? Isn't the story of soul mates wrong? Because Bible encourages remarrying after the spouse's death. But what if one chooses the life of celibacy even if he is not gifted with this? What will happen than? What's the point of love then if God arranges everything? Who is to blame because so many young men and women are not yet married and is not sure that they will ever be? And moreover the Bible says that love is a choice and not a sentiment based on feelings. It involves feelings but basicaly is not this. It is strange because if we carefully put into action the biblical pattern for love and marriage roles described by Paul then we could get married with anyone and have the most happiest marriage from all times. And if we're honest, I think that in the end everybody chooses freely to marry with someone not because God said them to do so. There are examples of people that are saying that their marriaged was arranged by God and I don't know what to say than just affirm that there is no biblical support that God promised or sweared to us that He will arrange our marriages. Better is to say that God is guiding them through the Holy Spirit and helping in the process of finding someone to marry. In the end, if God arranges marriages shouldn't be them perfect? Why is that that these are not? I am saying all these to you because as I've said I am on the point of having an arranged marriage and I am very concerned to do God's will in my life. It was not our parents idea of arranged marriage, but ours: we at some point in life (each one individually) told our parents to look for a spouse for us and from this particular point things evolved until her parents found me and my parents found her. It is not a forced marriage neither from me nor from her. We have freely decided to marry each other and there is no pressure from our parents to act this way so we are not forced into marriage. I want to kindly ask for some godly advice concerning this idea that God has specific persons in His mind for us. It would be against God's will if we would have an arranged marriage? From what Scripture says I think not and more than that there is good biblical suport that God will bless our marriage giving the fact that we will be marrying in the Lord. Thank you for your attention and I hope that we will be in touch very soon. I am looking forward for your answer. Yours sincerely, Stephen
  2. Hello, I'm new here. Literally 10 minutes new. I'll just jump right into the reason I signed up, and decided to post. I'm hoping there's hope for guys like me. I got married before I was saved, and divorced before I was saved, and that was 17 or 18 years ago. I'm older, but by no means old (40), and have a lot of life left in me if The Lord permits me to live a long life, or doesn't come back first. Everything I've seen says I cannot remarry, and since my original wife was unsaved, and is now remarried there's no hope of reconcilliation. Some Christians do go on to marry again regardless, but it doesn't look like that's something that God's going to permit. Feeling pretty hopeless about life. What's a guy to do? Any thoughts? Did I just mess up, and that's the end of that?
  3. Please pray for my family, brothers and sisters in Christ. I was an abusive, drug addict, drinking, adulterous husband in the past. My wife left me three years ago because of it. She was also adulterous. I have since been saved, am completely regenerate in Christ, but my wife is not. We have since started dating for 2 months, still living separate. She is now pregnant, praise God, but I am afraid she might be considering an abortion. Please pray for us. I don't think you need our names, God knows who we are and He will know that you are praying for our situation.
  4. I have been feeling this pull lately to change my life to be more appropriate for a follower of the Lord and have been browsing the bible. One verse I came along is 1 Timothy 2:9. "In like manner also, that the woman adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing." I have very long hair and find that braiding my hair is convenient and helpful in doing daily activities and work. Is this wrong? or is it more on fancy braids that are meant to be showy? I don't wear gold, pearls, jewelry, or costly clothing. I'm not braiding my hair to be pretty, just being practical. Another thing that has been bothering me is my personal relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years, have two children and live together in every way possible. We are married in everyway but having the government legalize it. Is this a problem? We live together, share our money, share responsibility of the kids, we both work but me only part time so I stay home with the kids most of the time. He provides for us almost completely; he could if I didn't work. I choose to work to make it a little easier on him and give me a little time away from the family. I only work 3 days a week and that is when the kids go to see grandma. So what do you think about a simply braid and my relationship
  5. This thread discussion is an attempt to have a forum "Bible study" concerning that which the Lord our God desires and requires to be a godly husband. The following question is the primary topic for this "Bible study" discussion: According to God's Word, what all does the the Lord our God desire and require of the husband that he might be a godly husband in his relationship with his wife? Now, since this is intended to be a "Bible study" discussion, I would request that Biblical support be provided with each answer that is given. I pray that this "Bible study" discussion will truly move us as husbands to pursue that which the Lord our God Himself desire and requires of us in our marriage relationships. (Note: In relation to the primary question of this "Bible study" discussion, I myself have presented a list of twelve Biblical requirements for the husband in two chapters of my book, "God's Wisdom for Marriage & The Home." Those two chapters are entitle "Cleaving unto Thy Wife" (Part 1) & (Part 2).) What then does God's own Word teach us concerning this matter?
  6. I have some questions requests for you. 1. How did God bring you and your spouse together? 2. Did you have any doubts about whether or not it was God's will for you to marry your spouse? 3. What advice can you give to a young man like myself who is seeking to find the right spouse? 4. add anything else you feel relevant.
  7. This is an article I wrote several days ago... If you are one who, however vaguely, happens to know a little about, and believe in, the Bible, then you know that God created the heavens and the earth and all of nature that fills that earth. After he created these, he then created a man. After God created a man, he made a wife for that man. And personally, the wife is my favorite of all his creations. We know that God did not, of course, create man before he made nature, for man depends upon nature to live. Nature had to be there first. The light, the sun, water, the dry land, plants for food… you get the picture. Only after everything else was set and ready for man did he bring Adam on the scene. Once Adam was here, God created Eve, who was created to be a “help meet” for Adam. Another way of saying it is that Eve was created to be a help that was “fit for” or “a good match” for Adam. Why would God create a woman to help the man before He had even created the man? He wouldn’t, of course. He is a God of order, and all things were created in order. Now, let’s just pause here for a minute. Let’s not just jump ahead in the story too soon. We should savor it for a moment. Imagine the simplicity of it. The elegance. There were no children. There was no society, no church, no government and no laws. There was just a man, a women and their God. Of course, children were always in the plan from the beginning. They were not a result of the fall, for God told Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply” long before Adam’s sin. So after there was a husband and wife, there came children. However, do not loose sight of the fact that the husband and wife were the foundation that was already in place before the children ever came along and made it a family. I will interject here the warning that neither a husband nor a wife should ever get to the place where they are a parent to the children first and a spouse second, and even then only if there happens to be any time, energy or interest left over. You were a spouse first, married or not. You are a spouse during the child rearing years, and you will still be a spouse after the children are gone. If you sacrifice the happiness and stability of your marriage through simple neglect, all for the sake of focusing on and raising your children, you are taking a great big hammer to your family’s very foundation, and slowly busting it up into little pieces. There was, over time, the rise of civilizations, governments and organized religion. But the family structure came from God long before any these, and all of these are built upon that foundation of the family. And again, any structure will only be as strong as the foundation upon which it is built. So what is wrong with our country? Our society? Our churches? Our families? Our marriages? Sadly, our foundation has become weak, and all that has been built upon that foundation has been crumbling and collapsing for years. The truth is, our government is only going to be as strong as our churches. (Was not this country of ours originally settled and founded by Christians fleeing religious persecution?) And our churches are only as strong as our family units. Our family units are only as strong as the marriage upon which they are built, and our marriage units are only as strong and good as the man leading that family. In God’s flawless, original design, a strong, Godly, loving husband is to be the head of the house upon which that marriage has been built. Thank God for good, faithful women who try to carry on the fight without their husbands. If we didn’t have these blessed ladies then we would have nothing, for the Godly, active, faithful man who actually leads his wife, leads his family and leads his church has all but disappeared. God built the entire social structure of humankind on one strong, hardworking man who walked daily with his God and led his family in a path of knowing and following the instructions and will of that God. Adam dropped the ball, and look what happened to his marriage, to his family and to his society. Nothing has changed. Guys, are we dropping the ball at home? If so, is it not true that we really cannot blame the condition of this nation, this town, this church, this family or this marriage on President OBama, on Congress, on Hollywood, on our pastor or on anyone else? Are we really being a strong foundation upon which others can build? If our foundation is not Christ and his truth, then their foundation is naught but shifting sand and empty illusion.
  8. I don't even know where to begin. So, I'm 15, I'm a Christian and BTW, homeschooled (I guess you can tell that I don't like being homeschooled, it's caused half the prOBlems I'm having currently..) Anyways... So last year this really ugly guy who looks like a 12 year old (and acts like one) who's really weird and nerdy and OBSESSED with harry Potter (that's another story) and dresses like a little kid too, started coming to my homeschool-group. Well, I, needless to say, do NOT like him. But the other day I was praying to God inmyu quiet time and somehow got the thought that that boy is the one I'm going to marry. Ugh. It makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. I don't want to marry him. EVER. I'm only 15. WHy is God doing this to me? DO you think this is really God's will? Do you think He will let me choose if I want to or not or do I HAVE to. I have been absolutly miserable for days now and I need some advice. I don't want to marry someone like that. WIll God let me choose who I want to marry or is he forcing me to marry him? HELP ME. Why would God do this to me?
  9. Hi there, I've actually been raised a Southern Baptist but I hope you don't mind me posting here. I've just found out that my parents might be getting a divorce, my father doesn't abuse my mother and hasn't cheated on her, though he has shown physical violence toward other members of my family. I have no idea what to think - My dad is away on business and I don't even know if he's coming home again or not. If you could please send your prayers to my mom and dad I would really appreciate it, that they might find a way to reconcile their differences and work together to fix their marriage. I'm so confused and don't know what to think about any of this. Sorry for the rambling. Many thanks, and God bless, Nick x
  10. Am I permitted to advertise my own book here? In July 2010 the Lord our God graciously allowed me to self-publish a book entitle - "God's Wisdom for Marriage & The Home." The book is 446 pages long. The list price for the paperback is $22.99. I am able to sell the paperback for $17.00 + shipping. It can be purchased from my website - Shepherding the Flock Ministries. It can also be purchased from amazon in hardcover, paperback, or Kindle format. (A picture of the front cover is included in the attached file.) Book Description Brethren, how important is it for us to know, understand, and follow God*s wisdom concerning the home? Certainly all of us in one manner or another, either as a child, as a spouse, as a parent, or as a sibling, have had, and may yet have, a relationship with the home. In fact, most of us expect to have some relationship with the home for the entire extent of our lives. Thus the home is a significant element of our lives from beginning to end. Furthermore, the marriage relationship itself is of primary significance in most of our lives. Yes, our Lord does indeed call some to be single. Yet the majority of us will enter into the marriage relationship, and for most of us that relationship will extend over the majority of our lives. Yea, even before we enter into the marriage relationship, we generally spend some period of time thinking about, planning for, and developing relationships that might lead to marriage. Thus the marriage relationship is indeed a significant element in our lives. Finally, the marriage and home relationships are the foundational building block of society. As goes the marriage, so goes the home. As goes the home; so goes the church, and so goes the country. Since marriage and the home are so significant to our existence in this present life, certainly it is of great importance that we find trustworthy guidance concerning their success. How much more trustworthy guidance may we find than that of the wisdom of the Lord our God! Table of Contents In the Beginning The Unity Destroyed Hope for the Home Leadership in the Home The Priority of Marriage The Permanency of Marriage The Purpose of Marriage Cleaving unto Thy Wife (Part 1) Cleaving unto Thy Wife (Part 2) An Help Meet for Him (Part 1) An Help Meet for Him (Part 2) A Christ Centered Marriage Love One Another Affection One for Another Communicate One with Another (Part 1) Communicate One with Another (Part 2) Confess One to Another Forgiving One Another Correcting One Another Be Not Bitter Be Not Contentious Providing for the Home (Part 1) Providing for the Home (Part 2) Keeping of the Home Render Due Benevolence Flee Fornication (Part 1) Flee Fornication (Part 2) Spiritual Leadership for the Home One-Flesh Unity Serving the Lord Together For the Troubled Marriage (Part 1) For the Troubled Marriage (Part 2) An Heritage of the Lord For the Sake of the Home

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