The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak(Matthew 26:41).
I am unfortunately divorced not by choice. I understand how hard it is to accept the narrative that God would command an innocent party or anyone for that matter to remain unmarried or reconcile after a divorce. The decision to pick up your cross daily and follow Christ is not an easy task, but it is possible with His continuous help (Philippians 4:13-17). He will never leave us nor forsake us, as long as we continue to rely on Him (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Unfortunately, there is so much misinterpretation of God's word that we need to be very careful what narrative of God's word we are following or believing. It is crucial to our salvation! God has a stern admonition to pastors and leaders or any individual who lead God's people astray with lies and their own interpretation of erroneous narratives of God's word (Jeremiah 23). We should not add to God's word nor take away from His word by our own interpretation (Revelation 22:19). God's word, His Holy Scriptures are not for private interpretation (2 Peter 1:20-21). I would like to make this statement clear that divorce in and of itself is not a sin. Yes! God hates divorce! (Malachi 2:16) But divorce itself is not the sin. God divorced Israel in (Jeremiah 3:8) because is bride committed whoredom against Him. How heartbroken God was with Israel's condition of sin against Him. But after God divorced Israel and gave them an ultimatum in (Jeremiah 23:14) God pleaded with whoredom Israel after a bill of divorce to return to Him for He is STILL married to them. God did not go searching for a new bride. This shows that the bill of divorce was a separated time period but not a dissolving of the marital covenant between Him and Israel. They were still married. Divorce only separated the union while one party was still remaining in sin. God's whole purpose was to reconcile with whoredom Israel, but only under the condition of change from Israel sinful ways. A condition has to be met.
In regards to (Matthew 19) when the Pharisees came to tempt Jesus on the issue of divorce and remarriage and to justify their causes, Jesus reinstated the sacredness of the marital union and confirmed in (Matthew 19:6) that when mankind (anyone, Christian or non-Christian) take part of the marital union which is God's Holy institution, they accept the ordinance of what is joined together under this Godly institution, and that no man on earth can put it asunder. Man's decree cannot dissolve the marital union, it only separate the individuals in that union. As humans, it so hard for us to accept the consequence of our actions. But we cannot escape it. If we do not face these consequences now, we will have no choice but to face our consequences on the day of judgement. When we choose to get married without consulting God and waiting upon Him, we make our lives much harder. God is not to be blamed, we are. I understand that many of us prayed and believed the person we marry was God's answer to our prayers, or we found ourselves in situations that allowed us to make unwise decisions to marry. No matter the reason or the cause the devil created a deception and we fell for it. We need to own up to our mistakes and sincerely seek God's forgiveness and guidance according to His Holy word. Many of us need deliverance from Hardness of Hearts.
I know this subject touches the deep matters of the heart. But our hearts will deceive us, especially when it wants its own desires (Jeremiah 17:9). Not everything that feels good to us, is good for us.
Matthew 19:9 has been used as the exception clause passage to appease our reasoning for remarriage. The bible clearly states that out of the mouth of two or three witnesses let every word be established (2 Corinthians 13:1). In Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 Jesus explanation for the only reason you can divorce a spouse is during the betrothal period with good reasoning. Matthews writing was to the Jews and their custom for marriage was very strict. The Greek word for fornication is porneia and the Greek word for adultery is moicheia. Porneia refers to fornication and can also refer to a range of sexual sins, including marital unfaithfulness and moicheia is the sexual sin of adultery. However, in context Matthew used the two words interchangeable which shows that he was addressing the sins in their specificity. The betrothal period in the Jewish custom was liken to a marriage. In (Luke 16:18) and (Mark 10:11-12) we can see that Luke and Mark account for good reasons does not talk about the betrothal period. In 1 Corinthians 7:39 shows that marriage is liken unto the vows we take until death do we part. Why make such promises if it will not be kept. We should not make promises we cannot keep, we will be held accountable for them. 1 Corinthians 6:9 states the condition of those who partake in such sins. Note that adultery and fornication are specifically addressed in their own entity. In Matthew 10:5 Jesus commissioned His disciples to minister to the lost sheep of Israel first before going to the Gentiles and the Samaritans. For good reason, Israel will have no excuse, because Jesus came to them His own first (John 1:11-14). We will have no excuse because the gospel came to us through the word of God (Matthew 24:14).
Although divorce is permitted, neither party is free to remarry. Only if one dies may the other ex-spouse marry. As far as this view of the Bible is concerned, a married couple can separate. They can even obtain a divorce from the courts. But God considers that the bonds of the original marriage contract continue. Thus, any remarriage would be illicit.
Marry someone who is not bound to another (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6) – Of course, we must not be bound to another, either.
Remain in that marriage for a lifetime. Once bound, God intended a man a woman to not be separated (Matthew 19:4-6) until death (Romans 7:2-3).
If separated, remain unmarried or be reconciled (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). When we sin, we cannot go back and undo our transgressions. We must repent and live with the consequences. If one becomes separated from the one to whom he was lawfully bound, his options are to either remain unmarried (if his wife will not have him back) or be reconciled (if she will take him back). There is no third option to marry another.
Sometimes reconciliation is impossible and its okay. Not having a romantic relationship is not a death sentence. As humans we need “Love” to thrive, not romantic love. Love for God, family, friends, neighbors etc; is sufficient. Jesus commission us to love everyone. When we have love in our heart there will be no void or emptiness (1 John 4:8). The love of God completes us.
Repentance Requires turning away from whatever sin we are asking for forgiveness from
Repent. One who is in an adulterous marriage is guilty of adultery (Matthew 19:9; Romans 7:3). The word of God is clear in its condemnation of the sin of adultery (1 Corinthians 6:9; Hebrews 13:4). Repentance is a prerequisite for forgiveness (Luke 13:3, 5; Acts 8:21-22).
How does one repent of adultery? One repents of adultery by stopping the adultery. Repentance requires an end to the adulterous relationship – even if this relationship is an adulterous marriage. When the people of Ezra’s day were guilty of marrying foreign wives (Ezra 10:10) – a violation of God’s marriage law under the Law of Moses (Deuteronomy 7:3) – Ezra gave them this command: “Now therefore, make confession to the Lord God of your fathers and do His will; and separate yourselves from the peoples of the land and from the foreign wives” (Ezra 10:11)
Adulterous remarriage is not the unpardonable sin or unforgivable sin. However, if any individual is remarried to another who have a living spouse they are committing the act of adultery everyday of their life. They cannot simply ask God to forgive them and carry on as normal in the adulterous marriage. They are remaining in the sin. They have to forsake that sin, by putting it away, making the way clear for God’s forgiveness.
God cannot forgive when we continue in sin, He only forgives when sin is sincerely repented of and put away, forsaken, abandon, leave, give up, leave behind, renounced, deserted, quit period. (Forsaken also includes giving up something valued or pleasant)
Please I implore you all to study God’s word for yourself to show yourselves approve (2 Timothy 2:15). Do not depend upon pastors, leaders or anyone that can lead you astray with soothing words and misinterpretation of scripture. As Christians we are all called to give an answer for the hope we have in God's Holy word (1 Peter 3:15-16). We will be held responsible for the vows we break. The marriage vow states “till death do we part” even if the other party break their vows you are responsible for staying true to the vows you made. A marital vow is not made only between two parties, but also to God who is the author and head of the marital institution (Deuteronomy 23:21, Ecclesiastes 5:4-6, Psalm 15:4). A vow is made to be kept. If you are a true follower of God you would desire to do what thus saith the Lord, no matter how difficult it may seem to you. Remember, God give us strength to make it through difficulties. Rely on Him. He will never fail you.
2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
God’s grace is sufficient, but not sufficient for us to remain willing in sin. His word brings light and truth to us so that we can be cleanse from ALL unrighteousness.
Remember: God loves us all. Jesus said if we belong to Him, we shall know the truth, and the truth shall set us free.
What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his soul (Mark 8:36).
God’s grace is sufficient, not sufficient for us to remain in sin but to free us from sin.
I hope and pray we all desire to be set free from the bondage of sin. It will be worth it all. Let us pray for each other. There is a Heaven to gain and a Hell to shun. Our salvation is worth more than any happiness here on this earth that would keep us from being with our Lord and Savior for all eternity.
Blessings to you all.