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A Virtuous Woman

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About A Virtuous Woman

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    United States
  • Denomination
    Independent Fundamental Baptist
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  1. Thank you for not only the warm welcome, but the advice! I will try to keep that in mind. I may revisit the topic of how to speak and share things with my pastor later on. It is something that is very important to me and I want to make decisions on real issues, not misunderstandings. I appreciate that reminder. :)
  2. Thank you so much! I'll be sure to do that and I'm looking forward to hearing others here offer advice! :)
  3. Thanks for posting your introduction! I wasn't sure how and where to do the same for myself. :)
  4. Okay, so I'm seeing that new members are to introduce themselves. I apologize for being tardy in this respect; I wasn't sure where and how to do this. Hello, everyone! I'm obviously new here and its nice to meet all of you. I'm a concerned loved one and while searching for answers on possible new safety protocols being put into place in IFB churches, I stumbled across this forum. I was saved in an Independent Fundamental Baptist church when I was seven. My parents, good people, served years as deacon and Sunday School teachers. I'm from a small, rural town church in the Southeast part of
  5. Yes, and yes. Sexual assault is about power and control, not sexual attraction or if the victim is appealing to the perpetrator. The only things a perpetrator finds appealing is the fact he feels he has power over another and can control that same person. It's not really about sex, it's that they have the ability to hurt another. Sex is just the weapon they use to accomplish that.
  6. Fair enough. My question: Do you think most current IFB churches have similar protocols in place such as your church? I ask this, because it's a legitimate concern when I'm not aware of any abuse prevention curriculum or courses IFB institutions offer future pastors, so if the Bible is truly their only real rulebook, I'm not sure the likelihood of this being the case without the proper education.
  7. I wouldn't say referencing modesty offends me. No, it concerns me. Why? Because, respectfully, there is literally NO data to suggest clothing of any kind plays an active role in sexual assault. I'm not referencing shaming a female victim, although that is a very common practice in society as a whole. No, why it raises a "red flag", so to speak, is that to even mention "modesty" or clothing in response to what was asked tells me that the person speaking is not educated on sexual assault. Clothing doesn't play a factor, at all. Those with sexual abuse and trauma response training wou
  8. Okay, I hear you on that. I think we will have to agree to disagree on the "independent" part, although I do understand why members of one church may not be aware of a situation in another. I personally view things slightly on the subject, because that wasn't and isn't my experience with the IFB churches my family and I were part of. I can travel out of state, visit a church my pastor isn't familiar with and still be with my group if I wanted too. I mean, I would share that with my pastor, since he always prefered to know such things, but still...if an IFB church is what I'm looking for, I can
  9. The fact that "modesty" is referenced while talking about sexual assault is disturbing to me. I know and understand "standards", to each his own. But again, some of these victims are children. CHILDREN. If that's the view Independent Fundamental Baptists have embraced...well, frankly no words. I thought it was bad when I was young! One last thing...how again does Potiphar's wife play a roll in all this? I'm fairly familiar with that story and she was the one that "tempted" Joseph, not the other way around. I'm not trying to read into your first comment, but if I'm correct at what my gut i
  10. Some are allegations, yes. I do think it's important to include the word "credible" here, too, because they have been investigated. But even if we were to set aside those, there are still many, many criminal cases that have also been investigated by law enforcement, charged, gone to trial, convicted and sentenced. Those cases are reported on, printed in the perpetrators' local newspapers and published online for the public to see. So, relying solely on "allegations" isn't what has happened here at all. The Star-Telegram series was clear about how these cases each came about. As to all of
  11. I can only speak for myself, so I'm going to return to my original questions: Is my family, like many others, safe in their IFB church? Also, does your church understand the reality of sexual abuse and how trauma presents itself in victims, especially those that are the most vulnerable such as children? So far, I've been told a "Bible-believing" church is safer than a bowling alley. Do you understand how that answer is not really an answer at all?
  12. I'm sorry right now I'm not more convinced my family would be safer in their church. Not without the evidence to prove that. And the one thing public school systems have that churches don't...abuse trauma education. A pastor may be trained in "spiritual" aspects of his calling, but I have not seen where Independent Fundamental Baptist institutions dedicated to training them educate them on how to not only spot abuse, but how to properly respond. If these pastors are not getting the proper training than how can I know that they are prepared to handle these situations? I don't personally fe
  13. I hear that. But there is a shared set of standards, practices, and way of going about things that are unique to Independent Baptist churches that connects them more than a fellowship or name ever could. The Star-Telegram series pointed out where that was sadly translated to abuse of many, many victims. So, back to my original question...would my family be safe in their IFB church? The responses I'm seeing don't answer that question. If this report doesn't reflect the vast majority of Independent Baptists, then why aren't they boldly proclaiming that by putting protocols in place to prevent th
  14. Independent Baptists are not an organized group? I don't know about that. Every Independent Fundamental Baptist church I have been in are very proud of the fact, but all got along real well. You just know when you walked into a Independent Baptist church you were a part of a big, extended "family" or a community of sorts. Seldom do I recall ever getting up and leaving a church that had 'Independent, Fundamental, Baptist' on their sign because they're not part of the same group. When's the last time you had to walk out of an IFB church because they weren't apart of your group, you know, if you
  15. I have been in many of these churches over the years. I never asked the pastors if their church had policies in place to respond properly if abuse does take place in their congregations. These kind of reports make me wish I had. I would love if this question could be answered now seeing how my family and I have many strong connections to Independent Baptist churches. There's a real family-oriented atmosphere there, will my family be safe if they continue to attend their church?
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