Fear is from Satan. He will do anything he can to cause us to doubt God and His Word. He is the father of lies. He will use your fears, your personality, your life before Christ, anything that gets his foot in the door. I have had the same thoughts as you. What if? I decided it does nothing but good to follow Christ, to hold on to His promises, to allow Him to control my life (I've proven to myself that I certainly cannot be trusted). If God isn't who He says He is, I've lost nothing. This was as a young Christian. As I've leaned on and trusted God, He has proved Himself faithful. I came to trust and love Him. I no longer have times of doubt. I am completely and passionately a follower of Christ. He tests me, He doesn't always answer the way I want Him to, I even have moments of, "what is He thinking", but I know that I can only see the here and now, that is it. He sees it all from the eternal past to the eternal future. He controls all from eternity past and eternity future. He is far wiser than me. Hang on to Him through His Word and your faith. He will not leave you where you are at now. He will grow your faith and strength in Him through His grace.