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Brother Stafford

Independent Fundamental Baptist
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Posts posted by Brother Stafford

  1. 8 minutes ago, No Nicolaitans said:

    Am I over logicating? LOL? 

    Yes.  The two human bodies found are the Adam and Eve from the Book of Genesis.  It's not a trick question.  The team leader knew, by looking at their bodies (This is a clean joke, so not "those" places).

  2. When I was a boy, our family used to tell, what we called, "logic jokes" around the dinner table.  Here's one that I remember from when I was about ten years old or so.

    A team of archaeologists were digging in northern Africa and discovered two bodies, one male and one female, perfectly preserved to where they looked as if they could have died a few days ago.  They called in the team leader.  He took one look at them and immediately knew that they were Adam and Eve.

    How did he know?

  3. I recently requested access to the “Forums for Independent Fundamental Baptist” section and its subforums.  Previously, if I clicked on any of the subforums, I would get a message telling me to request access for that forum.  When I tried it today, these are the results I got:


    The King James Bible  = No access

    IFB Biblical Issues = Access to list of topics, but no access to read them

    IFB Lounge = No access

    IFB Ministry = Access to list of topics, but no access to read them

    Salvation Forum = Full access

    Tools for the Ministry = Access to list of topics, but no access to read them


    (I didn’t request it originally, but I would also like access to the “Men’s Forum” under the “Christian Living” section)


    Perhaps there was no change and I am remembering things incorrectly.  Is there a waiting period that I must go through before obtaining access to those forums?

  4. 41 minutes ago, Pastor Scott Markle said:

    Brother Stafford, what church in the Livonia area (if you are willing to mention)?

    For the time being, I would rather not mention the name of the church.  I have been asking advice here in regard to a few issues that I am having with the church leadership and I do not wish to cast them in a bad light if it turns out that I am in error.

  5. Perhaps someone could help me find scriptural support for the following, as I have not yet come across any that supports it in its entirety, but this is what I have been told and tend to adhere to.

    Primarily, the role of the church is to educate and edify saved and baptized members, not to be a place for the lost to come into to visit.  Our role, as Christians, is to go out into the world, share the Gospel with them and then bring those who accept the Gospel back into the fold to be discipled.  "Go ye therefore into the highways, and as many as ye shall find, bid to the marriage." (Matthew 22:9)

    If anyone desires to take on any sort of leadership position at all, the current leadership and church body would vet them to make sure that their beliefs fall in line with what that church teaches based upon 1 Timothy &c.

    I think that many of the issues in many churches stem from wolves attending churches and sharing unbiblical doctrines, twisted scripture and personal opinions among the sheep, causing division.

    On June 24, 2016 at 7:32 PM, DaveW said:

    No church should exclude any person from visiting.

    I respectfully disagree with this statement.  I do not believe we to warmly welcome "drag queens" or half naked prostitutes into our churches; nor do I believe that, If a grown Iranian man comes to church holding hands with his 10 year old wife, we are to welcome them either.  It is for the same reasons that I do not believe that anyone who is engaging in any open and unrepentant sin should be allowed to visit or become members of a Biblically sound church. While we may share the Gospel with them outside of the church, welcoming them into the church may cause strifes, cause newly converted to think that we are accepting their behavior and cause the unrepentant sinner to believe that they are accepted and may continue as they please.

    Am I correct in coming to such conclusions?

  6. On November 20, 2014 at 11:18 AM, Ukulelemike said:

    Many have discounted Hovind's excellent work, because he is in prison-big mistake, because Hovind has done excellent work.  So, we should not discount Ham's work because of what he might do that is wrong or questionable-it doesn't make the truth less truth. 

    Mr. Hovind is an example that illustrates my concerns of compromise quite effectively.  While Mr. Hovind's presentations provide a wealth of information that is reasonably accurate and helpful, he includes enough misinformation. and sometimes dangerous information and advice, that causes me to avoid him and to not recommend him.


    A phrase that he uses quite often in regard to sifting through valid information is, "Eat the meat and spit out the bones."  This is similar to the "salad-bar" style of gleaning information; "Take what you want and leave the rest."  He has relied on this response heavily in defense of the book, "The Shack," which is a heretical book portraying God as an older black woman named "Elousia" who sometimes calls herself "Papa," the Holy Spirit as an asian woman named "Sarayu" (from the Hindu scriptures; the name of the birthplace of the Hindu God "Rama"), and Jesus is portrayed to be an oriental hipster carpenter.  Mr. Hovind heaps praises upon this book and highly recommends it.  This is especially dangerous these days, as the "gender identity" issue is gaining so much popularity and confusing countless people.


    Mr. Hovind, since he is presently being divorced by his wife, is teaching that divorce and remarriage is an acceptable option; in his words, "If you want to stay single, fine, but if you want to get remarried, I say, go for it;" Seemingly in contradiction to 1 Corinthians 7:11 and other verses.  In another one of his videos (which I cannot find), he teaches that if you're living a godly, Christian life, people will want to be around you and that if people don't want to be near you or if they hate you, you're doing something wrong; seemingly in contradiction to John 15:18.  He also, joyfully and unapologetically, ridicules and mocks his critics and the still lost and encourages others to do the same; seemingly in contradiction to Matthew 5:44. 


    I used to be an admirer of Mr. Hovind until I started noticing things like this in his videos.  I cannot remember which story it was, but I discovered that a story that Mr. Hovind claimed was something that he has experienced, was actually a story that Dr. Duane Gish had used many years prior to Hovind's account; many aspects of the story being word-for-word of Dr. Gish's account.  


    I had never heard of Dr. Gish, but when I started researching him and then Dr. Henry Morris, it became obvious that Mr. Hovind modeled himself after them, especially Dr. Gish; and after reading "The Evolution Handbook," a book which Mr. Hovind recommends, I discovered that the vast majority of the references cited by Mr. Hovind in his presentations, are copied word-for-word from the handbook.  He leads his audiences to believe that he has done the research himself.  What Mr. Hovind brings to the table is his entertaining humor.


    Mr. Hovind's son, essentially, stole his ministry from him and evicted him from his own home upon his release from prison and, as I stated earlier, Mr. Hovind is going through the process of being divorced by his wife.  He has gathered people around him to help him build something similar to Ken Ham's organization.  He travels, giving seminars/sermons, teaches Bible studies, baptizes people and is building a wedding gazebo in order to officiate weddings.  In my opinion, he is playing either the role of what the Bible calls a bishop or the role of deacon, and, also in my opinion, should be held to the standards contained within 1 Timothy 3. 1 Timothy 3:4-5 should be enough to disqualify him from such a position.  (As thorough as Brother Cloud is, I am surprised that he has not made comment, one way or the other about Mr. Hovind.)


    I say all of this to demonstrate that, although a ministry may seem to be edifying, we must look deeper to see if it is both biblical and appropriate.  Compromising on biblical adherence or separation issues introduces the "thin edge of the wedge."  I could be in error, and perhaps someone more learned can instruct me, but, other than Matthew 22:21, I am unaware of an area in which the Bible instructs us to compartmentalize anything in out Christian lives.  


    If a Catholic priest had a fantastic and accurate Creationist teaching on the dangers if pornography, I would not promote him or listen to him because he is Catholic and the rest of his beliefs are life depriving poison.  There is a fantastic documentary on the dangers of television that I will never tell anyone about because it is made by Seventh Day Adventists.


    Satan does not need obvious and complete heresy and apostasy in order to be successful.  He need only turn our heads.  As we mature in our faith, we develop stronger necks which are more resistant to having our heads turned, but those who are still new in the faith and those who are still lost have not developed that discernment and resistance to such deceptions.


    (1 Thessalonians 5:21-22) "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.  {22} Abstain from all appearance of evil."  


    We must be vigilant to protect our witness to the lost and to keep from minimizing any aspect of Scripture.  I have heard Christians willingly permit or accept sin in their lives in the hope that the "bigger picture" will avail.  They will allow their daughters to wear skin tight "yoga pants" and listen to Lady Gaga (or whomever) and say, "Well at least she's coming to church... you have to pick your battles."  This is why Brother Cloud does what he does.  He knows, first hand from his own youth, that allowing an opening for the thin edge of the wedge will eventually allow the entire wedge to drive itself into and separate us from God.


    As always, I am still learning, and this is my opinion based upon how I understand Scripture thus far.  I am always eager for proper correction when I am in error.

  7. 4 hours ago, swathdiver said:

    None could exist without the other and it's absurd to think that each somehow evolved on its own and came together at just the right time, a mathematical impossibility.  But God spoke and it was so!  

    As someone once said, "If you have time and matter, but no space, where would you put it?  If you have matter and space, but no time, when would you put it?"  I think that same individual said, "Once upon a time, there was a time when there was no time."

  8. When I was a boy, there was a goofy old married couple named Rhudy and Barb Pennypot.  They were master gardeners. They were the ones who, through cross-breeding, invented a wonderful vegetable they named after themselves called Rhubarb.  Sadly, they divorced when I was a teenager and Rhudy married a woman named Wanda a few years later.  They invented their own vegetable too and named it Rhuwanda, but it didn't go over very well.

  9. I heard this over thirty years ago on a late night AM radio station.

    (Genesis 1:1) "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth."

    The very first verse of the King James Bible contains a trinity of trinities consisting of time, space and matter.

    "In the beginning" = Time (Past Present Future)

    "God created the heaven" = Space (Length Width Height)

    "and the Earth" = Matter (Solid Liquid Gas)

    I just love things like this.


  10. When I was a little boy, I had a cat which I loved very much.  I named her "Karma Bonsai Detroit."  "Karma," so that when I pet her, I could say, "Good Karma" or yell at her and say, "Bad Karma!"  "Bonsai", because she would pounce on me from above, and "Detroit" because when she purred, she was the "Motor Kitty." 

    One day, after coming home from school, Karma was nowhere to be found.  I looked absolutely everywhere for her, but she appeared to be gone.  I was very upset and my mother said that my father would help me look for her when he got home and that she would help me look, but she had to finish making dinner.

    My father came home and we looked and looked, but we still couldn't find Karma.  My mother called us to dinner and my father asked me to get him some ice for his drink.  I went into the kitchen and opened the freezer and there was Karma!  She was frozen stiff as a board!  It turns out that, when my mother had taken the liver out of the freezer to thaw it, Karma had jumped inside.

    I was a wreck.  I started bawling and was inconsolable.  My father called the vet and asked him if anything could be done and the vet said that there actually might still be hope.  He said that if Karma wasn't frozen all the way through, she still may be alive and that we should pour a spoonful of gasoline into her mouth.  He said that the gasoline would thin her blood and, if she was still alive, she should snap out of it.

    So, my father got the gasoline, measured out a spoonful and pored it into my beloved cat's mouth.  After about ten seconds, she began to twitch and convulse and then, in an instant, she came to, her eyes as big as saucers and she started running at full speed around the house; all the while screaming at the top of her lungs!  She ran upstairs and then to the basement, up and down the curtains, over and under the furniture and then she made about five or six circles around the coffee table and then just flopped over and was completely still.

    This is when most people say, "Awwww.... did she die?"

    To which I reply, "Nah, she just ran out of gas."


    (P.S. The first paragraph about naming her is a true story)

  11. I am absolutely horrible with memorization. I have tried repetition and cards, but have had very little success.

    Not too long ago, I came across a video of a man demonstrating memory techniques known as mnemonics. I've tried some of the techniques and they have been working wonderfully and are quite a bit of fun. I still have a difficult time with book, chapter and verse, but that is because I have not created my system for memorizing numbers yet.

    So, for example, let’s take what I use for remembering Proverbs 24:30-34.

    {30} "I went by the field of the slothful,” I picture walking past a field overflowing with cute, furry sloths sleeping on the ground.

    “and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding;” I picture a man standing in front of a huge forest of grape vines and looking at it while scratching his head saying, “I just don’t get it.”

    {31} And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns,” I picture huge amounts of thorns covering the grape vines and explaining it to my old boss who happened to be named, "Lo."

    “and nettles had covered the face thereof,” I picture hundreds of copper tea kettles (rhymes with nettles) piled on top of a giant face in the ground.

    “and the stone wall thereof was broken down.” Behind the pile of kettles, I picture a stone wall where the kettles had to break through on their way to covering the face.

    {32} “Then I saw, and considered it well:” I picture myself using a hand saw to saw through apples over a “cider” well.

    “I looked upon it, and received instruction.” I picture myself examining my work and a construction worker walking up to me, offering his advice.

    {33} “Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep:” I see two sleeping midgets: one with a shirt that says, "sleep," and the other with a shirt that says, "slumber," and "sleep" has his tiny hands folded across his chest.

    {34} “So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth;” I see a large group of ragged homeless men without arms approaching on a dirt road, all with backpacks made of sea shells (shall).

    “and thy want as an armed man.” I want to hug all of them because I have arms.

    Then, when I want to remember that verse, I play the story back in my head and I can remember it word for word. It takes a bit of practice and time to develop the stories, but it's a fun process and takes much less time than dry memorization. Imagine the fun of turning something like the book of Leviticus into an exciting playground in your head.  My goal is to memorize the entire King James Bible before I die.

    Here is a fantastic resource for mnemonic techniques called The Art of Memory. It's a discussion forum as well as a library of great articles and other information.

  12. 4 hours ago, Salyan said:

    I'm sensing a good deal of disdain and 'how dare they not be soul-winning' coming from your posts... Be an encourager - and that means not beating them over the head with 'why aren't you doing this' and 'how dare you not' and 'everyone needs to'. 


    Please accept my apologies if I came across disdainfully in my posts.  In no way did I mean to imply that the church leadership or membership is not worthy of my respect, or to come across as holier than thou.  I have merely come asking questions about this issue that seems to contradict Scripture as I understand it and what others might think of the situation.

    Thank you for your thoughts.

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