HappyChristian reacted to Salyan for a news, Third pastor arrested in Alberta
The third pastor, and first Baptist, has been arrested for holding church services beyond capacity in Alberta (capacity is currently 15).
Although this is a Reformed Baptist church (and our church is definitely not Reformed), it has hit close to home as Pastor Tim is the older brother of our assistant pastor.
HappyChristian reacted to PastorMatt for a news, Genius Church Signs That Will Make You Laugh
Unfortunately my church does not have the luxury of being able to put up a sign with interchangeable messages, but I love it when I drive by a church and I see a clever saying on the sign. The following is a few of my favorites that I have come across.
1) This one here is good one for this time of year. "Come in and Let us prepare you for your finals"
2) Ouch. A direct message for the thieves from Clays Mill Rd.
3) This one hit the heart.
4) This one is straight to the point
5) This one is clever. Well done
If your church has a funny sign or if you have seen one, feel free to post it in the comments below.
HappyChristian reacted to PastorMatt for a news, The Most Spiritual Churches In America
The Most Spiritual Churches in America
I have always been a part of the most spiritual Independent Baptist churches in America. God has been so good to me. Some may think that this is a very proud statement. You may ask why do you think that the churches that you have attended are so spiritual. Let me explain.
We all consider that being spiritual is submitting to the leading of the Holy Spirit. We all know that the Holy Spirit enables us to do his work in the church. He also imparts to us the ability to perform special tasks in the church that no one else can do as well as we can. What a blessing to have a part in the Lord’s ministry.
Now, I think that the reason that I have attended the most spiritual churches in America is because even the most carnal, worldly, hateful, people in these churches have been given special gifts of a spirit and they exercise them regularly. Only in the best churches in America can you find carnal people exercising their gifts in the church.
You may ask what gifts these people exercise. By and large, they all have the gift of tongues. Their tongue goes a mile a minute. They are very well-exercised in that gift. Most of them also have the gift of wisdom because they always know more than everyone else. If you ever have a problem in the church, they are so wise that they can solve all of the church’s problems in a matter of minutes. The gifts of wisdom and tongues are usually exercised simultaneously. Most of them have the gift of interpretation. They know how to interpret the passages that that the preacher preaches “falsely”. You know, like women wearing pants, carnal music, worldliness, and so on. It is sure a blessing to have these Bible scholars in our church. A few of them have the gift of governments. They really know how a church should be run. They are experts on each and every program that the church has. They are financial geniuses and know where and how all of the money of the church should be spent. The final gift that these people have is the wonderful gift of teaching. They are ready to teach the preacher how and what to preach. They are experts in the substance and delivery of each sermon. They can teach a preacher correct grammar in a matter of minutes right after the sermon. What a blessing to have these people in our church.
The next time you get down and depressed about the state of affairs in your church just remember. You still have it pretty good. The majority of your worldly, backslidden, hateful, carnal, once-a-week Christians exercise their gifts daily. What a blessing to be part of the best Independent Baptist churches in America.
Pastor Danny Vanhoose
HappyChristian reacted to PastorMatt for a news, The Funniest Church Bulletin Bloopers
Maybe you have the daunting task of putting together your church bulletin, or just maybe you have read the church bulletin on a Sunday Morning and got a little chuckle on how a sentence was worded or the wrong placement of a comma. Here is a list of some of my favorite things that have somehow made its way into our church bulletin. Reminds us that we all need proofreaders at times. Enjoy.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend the tragedy. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. Thursday night: Potluck Supper - Prayer and medication will follow. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. Weight Watchers meeting has been moved to 6pm. Please use the double doors when entering. Evening massage - 7 p.m. Next Sunday we have a soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then preach on "It's a Terrible Experience." Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. You have a funny blooper from your church bulletin? Please comment it below.