speerjp1

Bro. Cloud is right.

As some have pointed out, there have always been weak churches that like to retain the label of IFB. The most irksome thing is that they refuse to simply leave the "movement" they so obviously despise.

I was in an IFB church for a short time where the pastor seemed to bash independent baptists at every turn. He used all the famous one liners: "We IFB's are the only ones that shoot our wounded", "We IFB's are the only ones that can't get along", "We IFB are the only ones that don't love the brethren", "We IFB's are the only ones that are late for church all the time", "We IFB's are the only ones that don't pray" and so on and so on. (Lies and misrepresentations, all.)

All the while, the preaching was lacking severely, the music was going downhill fast, sin was pouring into the church, and those trying to maintain some semblance of biblical separation were not welcome in that church.

From all he said, you would have to come to the conclusion that the worst people in the world were those who claimed to be a part of the IFB movement. I entreated him on the matter expressing my concern with the misrepresentations he was perpetuating for the sake of trying to motivate his flock, to which he responded that it was all true. If he had such a problem with IFB's then why did he insist on staying within the movement? Why not take it off the sign? Why not change the church name to Community Fellowship or some other ambiguous name type?

The same goes for the larger, more influential churches and schools: why not just move on? Why insist on trying to drag all of fundamentalism along with themselves away from, primarily, biblical separation?

It seems that most know that the day they leave fundamentalism, their religious influence will disappear or at least be so reduced that the current leadership would do anything than reduce their own sphere of influence. It seems to be a primary motivator in these situations. How much influence do they have? That equals power. It is power and influence described nowhere in the NT.

Here is a couple of links that are of interest.

Fallacies of Logic: An Analysis of ABC’s “20/20” View of IFB

http://www.drchuckphelps.com/

Having been the victim of covered-up abuse myself, a lot of what was said in the 20/20 episode and on this thread hits close to home.

I thought the 20/20 production was relatively balanced in its approach and they did not verbalize a conclusive view that all IFB churches are cults or that they all have the types of problems highlighted in their show. Near the beginning and again in the closing sequences, they equated having standards (specifically dress and music standards) with being a cult, which is dishonest, and they also edited the music and video clips of IFB churches to come across in a very sinister way. Those seemed to be the two most unwarranted representations of IFB churches in their show. They definitely could have gone much further in their attacks, but didn't, and for that I am thankful.

I had also already heard of the women who were interviewed and who seem to have made it their personal goal to destroy the name of fundamental churches through broad-brushing all fundamental churches as being evil and heretical. Their efforts are based mostly on separation issues and allegations of oppression. It seems to me that they add in and magnify the stories of abuse to make their other positions less assailable.

One of the best points raised by the interviewer was the disingenuous practice among most IFB churches of denying their common roots and spheres of influence. The pastor who so graciously granted an interview did a good job of answering most of the questions, but when questioned about the island-like facade adopted by most IFB churches when trouble arises, he dropped the ball. There are very few truly INDEPENDENT Fundamental Baptist churches left. In my opinion, it seems like the "I" in "IFB" most often stands for "Institutional." This opinion is based on the widespread practice of most churches to limit their fellowship to a very tight institution based sphere of influence. Along with joining in some sort of fellowship, most will also only defend those IFB's who are members in good standing with an approved ministry that has sprung from their own preferred institution or association or fellowship.

The thing that disturbed me most as I watched was seeing the letterhead of a prominent IFB lawyer (who, by the way, has helped some of the worst examples of IFB preachers, pastors, and evangelists out of a plethora of legal troubles, mostly having to do with sexual perversion) in one of the video clips of Pastor Phelps' statement to 20/20. To me, that only hurts the credibility of Dr. Phelps. Besides, he says on his own website that there are many particular things he would have done differently in hindsight, so he shouldn't be surprised that others would follow his own lead in finding fault with the way things were handled years ago.

The most encouraging part was seeing a relatively young IFB pastor not defending the lunacy that can indeed be found in some corners of IFB-dom. It was disturbing, however, that he had not figured out a way to let the folks in his church know that he had two registered sex offenders in his church. Every pastor should be aware of who is sitting in the pews of the church where he is the watchman and should find some way to properly warn those for whose very souls he is watching. In that regard, it should be every pastor's goal to keep the children in the watch-care of the church from having to find out the hard way who among their fellow church-goers struggles with sexual deviance.

One thing that all believers should know is that God's grace is sufficient for every need and in dealing with every situation. It will never be acceptable in His eyes for people to use their scarred past to attack those who would endeavor to stay true to God and His word. In fact, God isn't interested in leaving such scars in our past when He can so thoroughly heal us by His grace.

I am a testimony of His power to heal from such wounds. By the way, I am still an independent (not beholden to any institution), fundamental (desiring to be separated from this world unto God for his own glory), Bible-believing baptist.

Praise the Lord and Him alone!

Not long ago I was preaching at a local church and the Sunday school class I sat in on (ages 18-30 or so) was discussing spiritual discernment and maturity. The definition I gave to them for spiritual maturity was as follows:

Spiritual maturity should be the ever increasing state of a believer's spiritual life when he ceases to constantly attempt to justify what he wants to do by pointing to the things that aren't clearly spelled out in God's word, and he begins to seek only to glorify God through simple obedience to the commands that are clearly spelled out in His word.

Once the maturing believer is being guided by the Spirit of God in obedience to the Creator and not being constantly controlled by any other motivation, he begins to realize just how useless this world's wisdom and pleasures are when it comes to fulfilling the will of God. Neither Godly wisdom nor Spiritual discernment are required in order to accommodate one's own fleshly desires and it would seem to at least be close to blasphemy to attribute the pursuit of one's own desires through devilish wisdom to the discernment of scriptures by the power of the Holy Spirit.

That is why true discernment begins to manifest itself in large part when one realizes that the pleasures of this world, be they overt sin or "merely" omissions or just whimsical participations in the popular, are mutually exclusive from doing the will of the Father. It is simply not possible to serve two masters.

(Or slightly more) :icon_mrgreen:

I think Mr Friel is in error in this area and is infecting the minds of those who listen to him and believe him. When a person thinks they can commit murder with their words they will be in a sorry and confused state.

I don't believe that one can commit "heart murder" or "heart adultery" during this Church Age, I believe these will be crimes one can be guilty of during the coming Millennial kingdom when Jesus Christ is down here ruling and reigning, that is the the 'kingdom doctrine' Jesus was teaching in Mathew 5, see the following example:


Matthew 5:20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. 21 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: 22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.


Also, the passages you mention from Matt 5 & 1 John 3 concern behaviour towards "your brother", so Mr Friel is wrong to generalize that to "someone" or anyone.

What an idiotic, imbecilic, moronic, stupid, nonsensical, politically correct thing to say.

But all kidding aside, if we set out to harm with the tongue then isn't it wrong? Why did God put it in a pool of water?

James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.

James 3:5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

James 3:6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

James 3:8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

Of course not, don't be an idiot or a moron.

(That was a joke.)

I occasionally listen to Wretched Radio with Todd Friel. I enjoy a lot of things about the radio program and I especially like "Witness Wednesdays" because he spends time evangelizing the lost. I do not listen to the entire program, but I listen to their podcast which is just one segment of the program called "Segment of the Day." Todd Friel uses the Way of the Master's popular "good person test" when witnessing, which is fine, but one thing he has done several times concerns me and I wanted to get some input from the forums on it.

If you can, find their podcast from Dec. 22, 2010 and listen to the first few minutes of it. You will hear Mr. Friel tell a young man that if he has ever called someone a "moron" or "idiot" he is a "murderer at heart." I have heard him do this several times.

The most well known New Testament teachings on the subject can be found in Matthew 5:21-26 and 1 John 3:15 although the Bible as a whole has much to say about murder.

The whole thing seems to have been recently popularized by the Way of the Master's "Good Person Test." However, I have never heard any of WOTM's witnessing tools or resources make the claim that calling someone an "idiot" or "moron" constitutes murder. They tend to stick with the biblical phrasing of "angry with his brother without a cause" or "whosoever hateth his brother" as being prerequisites to being condemned in any way as a "murderer at heart."

What do you think? Is Todd Friel stretching it a bit, or is my understanding of what constitutes a "murderer at heart" too limited?

Hi, all!

For Mitch:

The Bible does indeed give at least one differentiation between men and women's attire: men are often told to have thier "loins gird" in all sorts of various daily activities. Women in the Bible are never commanded to do so. The one passage where this apparently occurs is in Proverbs 31. However, since it is also apparent that this chapter has more to do with church typology than the supposed "Proverbs 31 Woman," it is more figurative and pertains to the church, the Bride of Christ.

So there is your consistent difference between men and women's attire according to the Bible.

For everyone else:

If the command in the Old Testament is not typical of a New Testament fulfillment of foreshadowing or if it is reiterated in the New Testament, then there is no reason to assume that it would have any less bearing in the lives of God's people now than it did before the time of Christ.

I will speak from personal experience to give a demonstration of how I was convicted by this verse more than ten years ago.

When I was around 14 or 15 I got into the habit of adding the words "just kidding" to the end of almost every statement I made because hardly anything I said was ever said in seriousness. I would say things that were mostly unkind jokes that were pretty benign, but it often would go to far into sarcasm (which I also struggled with for a while).

I finally heard a preacher mention this passage in a sermon and, while I cannot remember his application, I can tell you that I was immediately convicted of the regular foolishness of my words and my constant joking. I was only 17 or 18 and it didn't take but a few days for the Lord to completely remove those two words from my regular vocabulary.

Now THAT was his power on display and I thank him often for giving victory in that area.

Galatians 6:2 says "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

The other week, I was asked to fill a pulpit on short notice. It was almost immediately that the Lord burdened my heart with the thought of caring for one another within the church. If we read further into Galatians 6, we find that verse 10 says that we should "do good unto all men, especially unto them who are the household of faith."

What about those who are in our very households, though? Should we care for them? Should we prefer them? Should we humble ourselves and consider their needs before we consider our own? These are all things we are commanded to do when it comes to the brethren. They are not suggestions.

Is your home a Christ-centered home in which God's word is esteemed as the basis for all? Is your spouse "in Christ"? Are your children "in Christ"? Are they your brothers and sisters?

Even if they aren't saved, you would be required to do good to them. But if they are, you should take special care to take every opportunity to do good to them.

Look at what Proverbs 3:27-28 says about doing good.

"Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. Say not unto thy neighbour, Go, and come again, and to morrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee."

If some good thing is within our ability to perform and is also present as an opportunity, then we are OBligated to perform it. It is no longer a matter of going "above the call of duty." (Think about how rarely, if ever, that statement could honestly and Biblically be applied to the Christian life.) If that good thing coincides with our ability to perform it, it has already become our duty to do it, if I may, "especially unto them who are of the household of faith."

What bothered me was the undeniable fact of the rarity of those teachings and, even rarer, the implementation of those concepts into the everyday life of believers. That led me to ask the question "why is there such a lack of active caring for one another and doing good one to another?"

The answer can be found in the answer to a more broad question: why do we humans lack in any area of our lives? It all boils down to a lack of love for God, most of all. A lack of love for our brothers and sisters in Christ. A lack of love for the lost.

Since we do not have the luxury of being nuetral when it comes to love, those above mentioned lacks translate into surpluses of love in other areas. We often find ourselves with a surplus of love when it comes to ourselves, our comfort, our fun, our own man-made religious models and methods, worldly wisdom, and even lies born of Satan himself.

In short, the very things which often bring the most burden, the most likelihood of falling into sin, the most pain, the most suffering, the most heartache to our brothers and sisters in Christ and our own family members, those very things are too often the recipient of our love.

Make no mistake, "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other." (Matthew 6:24)

We are often taught in God's word to love one another while at the same time we are commanded not to love the world nor the things in the world. It is an indication of the mutually exclusive nature of love. It is what makes God's love for us so powerful and so special: his love is not mingled with anything else.

In our homes, our spouses need the unfeigned love and support that comes from truly despising all that would hinder righteousness within the home and within each family member's relationship with God. Our children need the love that comes from hating the things that would take them into a life of heartache and misery.

How can we claim to love and care for our family if we are already in a loving relationship with the very things that would tear them, and us, apart?

Practice: Based on Biblical principle, make it a household rule that each member should always prefer the other before themselves. Study scriptures that teach humility, love, and selflessness. Set an example of caring servanthood within the home, so that it become the normal way to react outside of the home.

Experiment: The next time your spouse needs anything, do your best to do it for them or provide it for them. For example: if you are already in bed and your spouse remembers something that needs to be done, volunteer to take care of it and do it quickly. If you are sitting at the dinner table and there is no spoon for the corn, get up and get it. If your child is struggling with school work, volunteer to help them with it.

Proverbs 14:16 says "A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident."

I recently saw the title of a new book out by Max Lucado called "Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear". I have not read this book so I cannot endorse it or criticize it in any way, but the title struck me as something to consider within the context of the home.

Imagine your home life without fear.

Fathers and husbands, imagine having no fear when it comes to making hard choices and tough decisions for righteousness' sake. Think what it would be like to know of some scriptural command that you must implement in your own personal life and in the life of your family and you experience no fear of mockery, distrust, or eye-rolling. Imagine refusing to speak in a demeaning way about your wife at the office without fear of being viewed as "whipped" or "hen-pecked". Picture yourself acting without regard to what any man thinks of your decision.

Mothers and wives, imagine having no fear when you are given the opportunity to choose paths that cut against the torrent of secular ideas pushed on you without fear of being condescendingly viewed by others. Imagine deciding to help your husband instead of joke about his shortcomings without fear of being left out of the click. Imagine standing firm with your children, even when they play on your emotions to get their way, without the fear of not being their "friend."

Children, imagine having no fear when you choose to simply OBey your parents, as you would the Lord. Imagine being patient with your siblings without the fear of your "stuff" being lost or damaged. Think about choosing to care for the things of God without the fear of losing friends who are free-falling into their places chosen for them by the world, their own flesh, and even the devil.

Imagine your lives without these fears.

I say "these fears" because in order for any member of a family to act in boldness in ways described above, that member absolutely MUST have a different kind of fear: fear of God.

A wise man departs from evil because fear is present. He fears God. He fears falling or causing another family member to stumble. He fears blind ignorance when watchfulness is necessary. He fears the consequences of hidden sin. He fears the repercussions of spiritually weak marriages and families in a lost and dying world.

Yes, there is plenty of room for fear in the Christian home. However, that fear must be accompanied by a deep faith in God; a faith that God will overcome our fears through his power and mercy and grace.

Think about this: throughout the Bible, men and women were admonished not to fear man, but to fear God. Is it any wonder that the natural tendency is to fear our fallen fellows with little or no regard to such a holy God as ours?

Proverbs 14:27 says "The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death."

Leave the snares of death behind. You've seen what a lack of the right kind of fear does to families and homes. Embrace the fountain of life in your home. That is, the fear of our Lord.

Practice: Decide now to make the hard choices considering your God more than your friends or even your family members. Make it a point of discussion when you talk with fellow family members that God is to be honored above all.

Experiment: Pick one thing you have been resolving to do, do better, or to stop doing. (Everyone has these little things hanging around in the back of their mind that they will always acknowledge as areas that need work. Often times, in the life of a Christian, these things are spiritual.) After you've picked one of them, make the God-honoring choice to act righteously in that area.

"Honest, Leroy, I just fount this huntin' forewiller sittin' in the road. Nex' season I kin haul 4 deers at oncet!"

I just want to ask some things about JOB's wife. I just got throught reading JOB too. Yes she was wrong to tell JOB to curse God and die but was it just JOB that lost 10 children? Or did JOB's wife also losed them? Wasn't she the one who carried them, delivered them, and nurse them? When they all died wasn't she grieving too? or just JOB? The JOB get sick too and gets company. So wasn't it her duty to also play hostess to JOB's "friends" and nursemate to JOB while also in same grief? When God came in he corrected JOB and Eiphaz, Bildad, and Zophar but not Elihu or JOB's wife. In the end JOB's wife carried 10 more babies and delivered 10 more babies and nursed 10 more babies. Did those 10 babies replace the first 10 babies they lost?
I give JOB's wife the benefit of the doubt here. The one time she is spoke of is in her greatest time of grief. She failed. I lost one child and only one and i failed too. i hated God for over 12 years for taking my beautiful, healthy daughter away from me. I had 8 years of infertility before I could even get pregnant again. I had two more beautiful daughters and then a son. I love them too but not a one of them replaced the one I lost. I can thank God now that I have a daughter in Heaven but for over 12 years after her death I couldn't. Losing a child hurts more than any pain I can think of. JOB's wife was hurting just as much as JOB but she had duties to do on top of her grief and JOB didn't his added grief came from his "friends".

"Helpmeet" always bugged me...haha...YES its a "help" that is "sufficient" for Adam! :-)

I find it interesting that in the New Testament the man is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church, while the women are told to learn from the older women how to love their husband and children. Also the man is commanded to train their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Then there's "submitting yourselves one towards another". From these verses I find that although the man is the head of the household, he is commanded to lead with LOVE his weaker vessel. And that they are pulling together.."heirs together"....they balance each other out, they go through life together.

I'm all for a woman being submissive and OBedient but too many churches teach some kind of "doormat" mentality where the woman is like the servant and the husband is the Lord...this kind of teaching makes it hard for the husband to love and sacrifice like "Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it". If husbands would play an active part in raising their kids and loving their wives, the wives would, in most cases, gladly love her husband and children and pull her proper weight in the family.

Christ washed the disciples' feet....He prayed for the apostles (and future church)....he was always there to help them if they were weak...He served them very much....but of course He also lovingly rebuked them when necessary. I think if more husbands would follow Christ's example, more wives would follow as well.

I guess at one time I was on a message board with alot of Hyles type people (no offense if anyone here is from a Hyles church because I realize not all are this way) and the women were putting ALL responsibility on a marriage on the women..."Oh you are not submissive enough"...."Oh you aren't treating your husband right"..."If you would do this and this, your marriage would be fixed"....etc. This is putting alot of responsibility on a woman, and pressure, that even God does not! God says being a good wife is something that should be learned from the older women...it doesn't come naturally. And God says the husband is to lead the home with sacrifice and love.

I hope my post makes sense...I'm not advocating an equality...but I am saying that too many marriages have the wrong idea of what God REALLY wants from the marriage.

I wonder if I may jump in here? The "help" meet for man, is there to keep him focused on serving the Lord, and not necessarily to do the menial tasks that he neglects!

I Genesis, remember that Adam named all the animals as they )apparently) paraded by, but did not find a mat that5 was "meet" or fit, for him. None of them were able to "meet" the need, the ache inside for companionship. You may remember that Adam had the company of the Father in Eden, so it was more than companionship he needed--it was a tangible friendship more on a human level. There were no other creatures like him, and he was created with special needs that only woman could meet. It was, of course, all in God's plan as he later told them to go forth and multiply, and replenish the earth. Her ability to help him is like no other creature--it is unique in itself, as mankind is unique from all other creatures on earth.

You see, (and this will not go over well) woman was made for man! Man was made for God, and woman was made for man. She is to help keep him focused on walking with the Lord, and keeping His commandments. She does this by meeting the physical needs, so that he is not distracted by other women or things; if he is "full" he does not desire to eat of the delicacies that Satan offers. In this sense, she becomes his closest friend and companion, and is ministering daily in the essentials of raising a family.
Her entire duty is toward her husband first, while his is toward serving the Lord first; a woman can turn a man's head from the things of the Lord faster than anything else--or she can encourage him forward easier than anything else, it matters what her goal is.

Some examples? Adam in taking of the forbidden fruit;
Samson in revealing where his strength lies, and breaking his covenant with the Lord;
David with Bath-sheba ;
Solomon with his many foreign wives, even after being warned by Giod Himself that they woulkd turn his head away from Him.

Luxury and ease in Eden wasn't enough to sustain Adam;
Great strength did not keep Samson from sin;
NOBility was not sufficient for David;
Solomons wisdom did not keep him serving the Lord;

All these fell to the wiles of a woman, and it may have been avoided if they had a virtuous woman at their side-- a real help that was meet for them.

Perhaps this is why we hear of marriages "made in Heaven".

Johnathon this is what I mean about being a helpmeet. How are we meant to do that when we are not able to do it without being taken advantage of or laughed at.

If you don't think you are capable of doing something, you are in the perfect position to totally rely on God's power and strength to work through you in your relationship.

What is an example of something in which you consider yourself incapable?

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 27, 2010

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Until recently I have always viewed the "help" and "meet" as two words pushed together to be an adjective of what a wife should be-a helpmeet. As I was reading through Genesis a few weeks ago it "dawned" on me that Eve was created to be a help that was meet (sufficient) for Adam. In studying the Bible for the things necessary for a Biblical home, one cannot overlook the role that a Christian wife must play in the home. We have examples all through the Bible of wives who were less than "meet" for their husband.

For example, JOB's wife. We think of how judgmental, non-trusting and critical she was of God. Be careful. Remember, we know the whole story of JOB, but when we honestly take a look at ourselves, how many of us as women would have at least been tempted to respond in the same, wrong way in the middle of that situation? Imagine the encouragement that she could have been to JOB in this time of great trial in his life! What an opportunity she had to be "meet" for him and failed.

Another example that came to my mind as I was thinking of this was Sapphira. I wonder how the outcome of this dishonest couple would have been different if Sapphira had simply been the help that was meet for her husband and suggested that they simply tell the truth about their earnings. Again, before we are quick to judge Sapphira, we must examine our lives and be honest about how we would respond to "going along" with something that our husband may suggest even if we know it is unBiblical.

This does not mean that in any way saying a wife should take control or tell the husband what to do, but simply to be the help that her husband needs. Think of the word "help" what comes to mind? Maybe someone who needs to be rescued at sea, maybe someone who simply needs help with a household task, maybe someone who is in a dire situation and just needs "help". I believe that God made man with a need for a help, as the Bible states. The tendency of women (as part of the curse) is to take over where our husbands are not doing what we believe they should be. What we need to do is in a right attitude through prayer and a close walk with God approach our husbands when there are things that may need to be addressed or that we believe may be a prOBlem. Sometimes it may be as simple as a husband sharing the desire to do something and not following up with it. The correct response to this is not to attack him and tell him how he never follows through with things, but to gently remind him of what he expressed and ask what you can do to help see that desire fulfilled.

Looking around, one can find that there is just not a lot of good teaching on what a good wife should be in being the help that is meet for her husband. There is a side that says a husband should never be questioned under any circumstances and then there is a side that says "if your husband's not doing it, then you take it over and do it". Neither is Biblical by any means. Remember, the virtuous woman: everything she did was behind the scenes and made her husband a respected man in the community.

A family is only going to be as strong as the relationship between the parents and we must look to the Bible for not only the instructions of what we should be, but also at the examples of women who were not what they could have been as a reminder of how we can either build or break our husbands and at the same time our homes. It's not always the easy thing to do to be the help the we should be to our husbands. Sometimes it would be much easier to just not say anything and go along status quo, but remember our God-given role as wives and if we do not fulfill it we are in disOBedience.


Practice: Talk with your husband about the desire to be the help that is meet for him. That you desire to encourage him in the Lord and to provoke him to good works, and that you have the responsibility of approaching him in a Godly manner if there are questions if how something being handled is Biblical or not.

Experiment: As a wife, The first step of being a good help would be praying for your husband. Take time each day to pray very specifically for your husband and his needs and ask God to show you how to be the help to your husband that God desires you to be.

I have asked Heather to help me with this blog. As you can see, she is helping me with it. I just figured I'd let everyone know so you wouldn't think I was trying to speak as a woman. :-)

Another thing to consider while noticing the apparent lack of conflict in the lives of those who are in less Biblically sound congregations is the fact that there IS a lack of conflict. Soldiers on the battlefield are far more likely to be wounded and killed than those soldiers who are not fighting at all.

Defend the faith, stand for Christ, seek God's kingdom and righteousness and you, by virtue of being in the fight, will have conflict.

Matthew 7:7-11 says "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?"

The first thing to note as we read this passage is the command to ask. God does not assume our willingness to ask him for things. He knows that we are prideful beings and that our human inclination is away from asking for something from someone else. Asking for something has many implications. If we ask for something it implies first of all, and most obviously, that we don't have that thing. It may also imply that we have something, but that it is inferior to the desired object. It could also imply that we are unable to provide the desired object on our own. With most good gifts from God, all of these implications would be true. It takes humility to come before God. It takes humility to admit that he knows our need and he desires to meet that need. It requires that we view ourselves as children who can't help ourselves and that we view our God as all powerful.

Another thing to take note of is that we are told that God will give "good things" when we ask him for "good things." That is the crux of this very practical passage: as a family, and especially as leaders in our homes, we should be asking our Heavenly Father for "good things". In order to be obedient to the command to ask our Father for good things, we must know what "good things" are.

In this very passage, God uses the earthly family as an example of how he gives good things to us, his children. If my son asks for a piece of bread, I absolutely would not give him a stone to chew on. If he asks for bread, it means he is hungry and needs sustenance for growth. It would be an abuse of my God-given ability and responsibility to give him anything other than what he needed. The same thing goes with the example of the desire for a fish. To give him a snake would be most unlike the action of our Father.

Notice a few characteristics of the things that were asked for by the son.

First, they were needful things. Food is necessary for growth.

Second, they were satisfying things. The hunger of a young child is satisfied when he is fed.

Third, they were specific things. The child in the example asked for specific food items, not just something to eat.

Are the things you ask God for standing up to these criteria?

The Holy Spirit, mentioned in place of "good things" in the parallel passage of Luke 11:9, certainly meets all of these criteria.

How does this practically apply to the family? If God will give good things to his children, then we should give good things to our children. Not just the physical things that aren't needful, satisfying, or specific, but the things that will last for eternity, like God's Word, or things that will effect their eternity, like a good example of a relationship with Christ.

In Matthew 6, we are given a list of temporal things that we are told not to worry about. We are also told that our Father in Heaven knows that we have need of those things already. Those things should not be the limit of our requests to our Father. In fact, there is good evidence here that suggests that we shouldn't find ourselves asking for these things at all. They are not the "good things" he alludes to in chapter 7. So then the "good things" must be the things that will promote the kingdom of God and his righteousness, because those are the things we should seek first.

Is the desire and most requested thing in your home the kingdom of God and his righteousness?

PRACTICE: Talk with your family about what your collective desires are in light of Matthew 6 and 7. Are they good desires? Do they concern the things of God, or are they limited to merely physical and temporal things?

Experiment: Make a list of 10 good things that we should desire from our Heavenly Father. Post the list in your home and make them the objects of your prayers during the day.

JOB 2:9-10 says "Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die. But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not JOB sin with his lips."

Imagine what little encouragement we would have from this passage if that last sentence could not have been a part of this great story. What if JOB had told his wife to just shut her mouth and go away... or worse? He was so longsuffering in the face of his wife's "foolishness" that God(who knew his very heart) was able to let us know that he did not sin in his response to her. Let us (especially husbands) look at the implications of his example and how they effect us in a very practical way.

How often are we given the opportunity to kindly remind our spouse that God is in control but instead use it as an opportunity to belittle or vent or even completely close the lines of communication? On the other hand, how often would we have preferred to have been reminded of God's grace, mercy, and goodness instead of being pushed away for admittedly immature complaints or suggestions? We have all prOBably been on the giving and receiving end of a lack of Christian longsuffering and not one has ever been encouraged by it in any way.

When JOB reminded his wife of the Father's goodness, it was a foreshadow of the Son of God and his longsuffering with his bride. Have you ever heard someone lament over God's plan? Now, can you imagine if our Mediator were not longsuffering and told us to go away or not pray to him any more? That would demonstrate impatience, unkindness, and selfishness on our Lord's part, none of which are in his character. Our prayers or complaints made out of foolishness or our own impatience or selfishness are often gently rebuked by the Holy Spirit reminding us of a scripture passage or through a brother or sister in Christ giving us a word of encouragement. But our Savior is not short with us or in any way unkind.

Remember our example. Eph 5:25-33

PRACTICE: When your spouse comes to you and is OBviously already discouraged about something, do not add to it through "Spiritual condescension"; but, through longsuffering and Godliness, remind them that God is on the throne and that trusting him is the primary thing.

Experiment: Talk about this issue with your spouse and let them know that you are open to gentle rebuke if, like JOB's wife, your complaints or suggestions are ever out of line in any way.

God calls us to the highest of standards. Some Christians take the route that since we can't meet those standards we shouldn't try too hard and then look bad when we fail. However, while Scripture acknowledges we can't reach perfection in this life, Scripture yet calls us to pursue holiness, to be perfect as He is perfect. We are to ever move towards that rather than slipping backwards or attempting to sit in neutral.

My biggest prOBlem isn't what I talk about...but that I talk at all! I find I get so busy doing my own thing I don't communicate with my children as I ought.

Deuteronomy 6:7 says "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."

Wow.

It seems like there would be very little time to talk about anything besides the things of God. More specifically, there would be little time to talk of anything other than the commandments of God. When folks sit in the house during the day or in the evening, they should be talking of the commandments of God. When folks are walking, they should take advantage of the time and talk about the commandments of God. When they lie down in the evening before sleeping, before they say "good night," they should talk once more of the commandments of God. When they wake up in the morning and gather around the breakfast table, they should talk of the commandments of God.

So much could be said regarding communication in the home in light of this verse and the surrounding passage of scripture. Primarily, there should be communication. It is amazing to me how little some folks communicate within the four walls of their home. We should talk one with another. We should listen to one another. This is assumed in God's word. To tolerate failure of communication in the home is to allow a gross example of Christ and His church to be put on display before one's own children or family and friends or even lost onlookers who so desperately need to see a true example of the glorious relationship that should exist between a Savior and His redeemed.

Okay, so what does one need to talk about? The tendency is to talk about mundane things. Temporary, tangible, physical, material, and consumable things. In other words, it seems to be the norm to converse with one another about the topics that bring the most distress to the average person and to the average marriage: money, work, chores, or human relationships. But what is most needful? We, by virtue of Biblical command, should talk about the commandments of God. There is no other topic in the Bible which carries the command to be the topic of our conversations constantly. Not just the Decalogue, but the whole of the commands of the Bible should be learned, discussed, and OBeyed (all in proper context, of course.) We would be most likely to OBey commands that are consistently before us as the focus of our attention. In order for them to be so constantly in our minds and on our hearts, we must talk of them in accordance with Deuteronomy 6:7.

But why is it so important?

John 14:15 says "If ye love me, keep my commandments."

PRACTICE: Talk specifically about the commands of God to his people. Be honest about your fulfillment of them both individually and as a family. Make necessary adjustments in order keep God's commands.

Experiment: For one day, purpose to not talk about any unnecessary mundane things. Instead, consciously spend the time discussing a given command for Christians and how well it is being followed in your home.