Boy's and Girl's calling one another at home?

[His by Grace]

Your Daughter's : Would you allow your daughter to call a boy "just to talk"? Your Son's : Would you allow your son to call a girl "just to chat"? OR Do you teach them that they need to call and ask for her dad's approval to do so? This would include explaining who you are and answering any question's the dad may have concerning you.

[bzmomo7]

Your Daughter's : Would you allow your daughter to call a boy "just to talk"? Your Son's : Would you allow your son to call a girl "just to chat"? OR Do you teach them that they need to call and ask for her dad's approval to do so? This would include explaining who you are and answering any question's the dad may have concerning you.

Just to talk? How old of children are you speaking of? We have 3 teenagers in our house right now, and this has never even been an issue as of yet; however, our children have only been allowed to have casual friends of the same sex, and they have been taught from the time they were very young that when one seeks to meet aquaintances of the opposite sex, it is for the purpose of finding a spouse. If we DID have a child who asked permission to do such and they were nearing graduation my hubby may well give permission, but it should be the boy who does the initiating, and with the permission of the father of the girl, I believe.

[futurehope]

Right on bzmom.

[Psalms18_28]

if they are ready for marriage, then I want them to get to know each other personally. You don't want them to end up with an abusive man because they don't anything about that person.

btw, I think children should always ask permission to do anything. I always did. I ask my parents if I could go to a church gathering, go over a friend's house, etc. we even had to ask permission to use the phone even if it was just a friend of the same sex (as they made us to because someone in the family might need to use it.. or it wasn't the right time to talk like dinner time, etc.)

[John81]

Good answers!

[harrystyris]

Hi every one and warm welcome.
I am Harry. Yes of course we should accept somehow such a relation like boy's and girl's calling one another at home. I think this is not a matter of misunderstanding in any manner. It depends on how a buddies treats with each other. I like all relation in true sense. I feel and like to create deep feelings in every heart.
Thanks.

[Anon]

I think it depends....I certainly would not allow it on a daily basis. AND I would not allow private phone conversations. If my kids want to talk on the phone in a central location where anyone can hear them, that's fine, but no need to waste hours on the phone on a regular basis anyway. I suppose nowadays you have to watch computer chat even more so than the phone, as its easier to keep secret/private.

I know when I was a kid, we had a corded phone in a central location and the only other phone was in my parents bedroom...any phone calls that came in were taken where everyone could hear what was going on. I think its safe.

[bzmomo7]

I think it depends....I certainly would not allow it on a daily basis. AND I would not allow private phone conversations. If my kids want to talk on the phone in a central location where anyone can hear them, that's fine, but no need to waste hours on the phone on a regular basis anyway. I suppose nowadays you have to watch computer chat even more so than the phone, as its easier to keep secret/private.

I know when I was a kid, we had a corded phone in a central location and the only other phone was in my parents bedroom...any phone calls that came in were taken where everyone could hear what was going on. I think its safe.

So you were allowed to talk to boys on the phone when you were a kid? Were you allowed to date, as well? I dunno, my thinking is that my boys/girls get plenty of socialization with those of the opposite sex within the church youth group and other church activities. What could they have to say to each other that they can't say there? (definitely, nothing I want to encourage at this time) They may call their friends on the phone with permission, as you said, out in the open, and they do......but like you said, not every day, and not for hours on end. My girls will be headed off to college next fall. That's when I expect them to begin to entertain the idea of looking for a spouse should the Lord bring the right man along.......not right now while they are still in highschool.

[Anon]

No we were not allowed...I was thinking the occasional homework or youth group question, nothing more, and certainly not on a regular basis, and everything in the open. I was not allowed to date either.

[His by Grace]

This is what I was meaning. I think my use of children should have been more specific. Althought we did begin "girl's don't call you" from a early age. We only have a son and this is just a normal way to show respect for her father. I was wondering if we are as odd as it seems from comments I've recieved. That's why I'm asking. Your comment is "right in line with our thinking! Grace

Just to talk? How old of children are you speaking of? We have 3 teenagers in our house right now, and this has never even been an issue as of yet; however, our children have only been allowed to have casual friends of the same sex, and they have been taught from the time they were very young that when one seeks to meet aquaintances of the opposite sex, it is for the purpose of finding a spouse. If we DID have a child who asked permission to do such and they were nearing graduation my hubby may well give permission, but it should be the boy who does the initiating, and with the permission of the father of the girl, I believe.

[His by Grace]

all the way !!! Grace

No we were not allowed...I was thinking the occasional homework or youth group question, nothing more, and certainly not on a regular basis, and everything in the open. I was not allowed to date either.

[Pastorj]

Having grown up in a home with unsaved parents, we had no such rules. I routinely called my pastor's daughter ("girlfriend") and spoke with her. With that said here are the guidelines I have been teaching my children.

1. No "dating" until college. (No exceptions)
2. No marriage until after graduation from college (No exceptions)
3. Phone calls have a purpose and should be done in a public manner (Parent around). (I take this same approach with the exception of private church issues)
4. Did I say no dating, that would also include "boy" friends, though my daughter is trying to push this a little right now. There is a nice young man in our youth group that she likes to "talk" to at church.

Same applies to my son, though he is not interested in girls just yet.

[pep_3000]

I think that there is no prOBlem with boys and girls talking on the phone, with ether side being the one to dial. Not spending hours each day or anything, but with in reason. I definitely do not think that I (as a guy) would have to ask the girls father for permission first. I have had a couple of girlfriends and I have never asked their fathers for permission (that was in college so there is some difference there). Plus, I think that it is healthy for boys and girls to be friends with each other in general.

[trc123]

Our children were not given a cell phone, period.
Our children only talked on the phone to immediate family members up until they were about 12 or 13.
Once they were mature enough (about 12 or 13) to take or make calls the rules were thus:

• 
  They must keep the call to under 15 minutes and only take one or two a day
  They were not to tie up the phone from adult use
  They were not allowed to have a phone in their bedrooms
  They were not to take or make calls before school, nor after 9:00PM in the evening
  They were to have all homework and chores done before taking or making calls
  

By the time we got done with all the rules, there was very limited time on the phone. The best thing we ever did was to not get them a cell phone. They never had one growing up and yet they still lived and are semi-normal {go figure}.

[Mrs Smith]

Having grown up in a home with unsaved parents, we had no such rules. I routinely called my pastor's daughter ("girlfriend") and spoke with her. With that said here are the guidelines I have been teaching my children.

1. No "dating" until college. (No exceptions)
2. No marriage until after graduation from college (No exceptions)
3. Phone calls have a purpose and should be done in a public manner (Parent around). (I take this same approach with the exception of private church issues)
4. Did I say no dating, that would also include "boy" friends, though my daughter is trying to push this a little right now. There is a nice young man in our youth group that she likes to "talk" to at church.

Same applies to my son, though he is not interested in girls just yet.

I was wondering about your rule "No marriage until after graduation from college." Would you apply that to your daughter just as much as your son? My last pastor had 7 children. His youngest daughter did 1 year at a Christian college, but was also in a courting relationship with a boy who was graduating from another college to become a pastor/missionary. With permission from the father, he proposed and the said-daughter did not finish college, yet went into service with her husband. Would you disapprove of a situation like that with your daughter?

I'm just curious if you are 100% serious about "no exceptions." Thanks. : )