Should I spank for this?

[Mrs Smith]

When I take an OBject away from my son, he will usually start to throw a little fit by starting this whining/crying/upset sound while slightly bOBbing his little body. It's almost as if he's contemplating a bigger tantrum.

I quickly tell him a firm, "NO GABRIEL, STOP" and he will usually stop within a couple of seconds. Other times when he doesn't stop, or if he's taking a little too long to stop, he receives a swat on his leg with the repeated command, and that usually ends it right then and there.

My question is: When I have to tell him no, or when I have to take something away from him, should I spank him as soon as he begins his little tantrum? Or should I continue to first tell him "No, stop," and ONLY spank him if he doesn't stop?

He is 14 months old. Thanks in advance for your advice/opinions. : )

[futurehope]

First of all, I want to congratulate you on the desire the Lord has given you to be a wise and effective mother. It shows by your willingness to ask for advice even in the simplest of matters. Praise God for young women like yourself who want to raise their children up in the way they should go.

As for the matter of spanking, I think your current approach is prOBably an effective one. Sounds (from your previous posts and this) as though Gabriel is more than likely what is sometimes referred to as a "strong-willed child". First, not that these types of children are the types that will generally do one of two things: they will be a superstar for God and His kingdom or they will be a superstar for satan's work. That's a blanket stereotype and OBviously not 100% accurate, but just not that these types of children are doers as they grow and they are the type that have the drive to accomplish goals. That said, it's good that you seek advice from other Christian parents. The only thing I might add to what you mention (you may already be doing this) is that, aside from the understanding that you must be painstakingly consistent - especially with the strong will, you also need to be sure that you use swats or spanking in accordance to age/size of the child and that you are using them when you have been ineffective with verbal direction. In a nutshell: tell him "NO" first and then use the physical in conjunction with the verbal. It's important that you restate the verbal while giving the swat at this early age to be sure that he associates the swat with the "NO" (as you said you do). The only time I would start with a swat (in regards to this specific situation) is when he is doing something you are absolutely sure he already knows he isn't supposed to (trust me, you can tell when this is the case). Otherwise, I would always use the verbal first.

God Bless,

Futurehope

[HappyChristian]

I would add to what future said by saying that, if he responds to your first "no" right away at times, but not at others, he knows what you are saying! 14 months old is not too young to understand that he is to stop something. Once it is established that he responds to a voice command like "no," if he does not respond, it should be accompanied with a swat. As future said, as you give him the swat, use the wording that you choose "no, don't cry" or whatever. That will reinforce to him that you mean "no" every time you say it, not just when he wants you to.

[heartstrings]

Good advice.
I would like to add, never use your hand. The child should always associate your hands with loving, not pain.