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I checked a couple of commentaries and both said this verse means a godly spouse will have a better chance of winning the lost spouse to Christ; not that this is a promise a lost spouse will be won. I've also heard this preached on and the same was said.

No LuAnne, I understand what you believe, I just mentioned that again because there are so many others who take the position that if a husband commands his wife to sin she must obey him and she is justified in sinning because she's obeying her husband and only the husband can be held up as doing wrong in such.



The term "may" can indicate possibility, permission or promise. In old english "may" was often used to indicate the same meaning as we get when we use "will" and "shall." I've read lots of commentaries and heard lots of preaching on it too - and there've been more than one conclusion. Revelation 22:14 says "Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city."

We know that the only way to heaven is through Christ, and this verse is not teaching works. However, note that the word "may" is used twice. So - if "may" is not sometimes the same as "shall" and "will," I suppose that there is a possibility that we won't have the right to the tree of life or enter through the gates? Don't think so!!!
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The thing is, as you well know, each person has their own will. There have been many very wonderful Christian men and women who has been married to a lost person, that have set wonderful examples, yet their spouse never freely accepted Jesus as Savior.

That is one of the heart breaks a Christin has when they marry and unbeliever, and of course doing so one is not obeying God.

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The thing is, as you well know, each person has their own will. There have been many very wonderful Christian men and women who has been married to a lost person, that have set wonderful examples, yet their spouse never freely accepted Jesus as Savior.

That is one of the heart breaks a Christin has when they marry and unbeliever, and of course doing so one is not obeying God.


Yes, every person has his or her own will.

When a Christian marries an unbeliver, they are starting out in disobedience and will reap the results of that.

The Bible says that a lost husband will be won to the Lord by the wife's life. I believe the Bible.
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Yes, every person has his or her own will.

When a Christian marries an unbeliver, they are starting out in disobedience and will reap the results of that.

The Bible says that a lost husband will be won to the Lord by the wife's life. I believe the Bible.

Ma'am,
Do you believe every godly woman who has a husband who is not a believer will see him saved?
God bless,
Crushmaster.
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I believe the Bible too, but it does not say every godly woman who has a lost husband, if she will live a godly life in front of him, that the lost husband will be saved.

But there is a very good reason for the godly wife to live the godly life. In doing so there is hope, if she doesn't live the godly life, there is not much hope for the husband nor children.

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The Bible does not teach that the unsaved spouse of a saved person will come to Christ.

Scripture tells us that if a lost spouse decides to leave then the saved spouse should let them go because the saved spouse can't know if they could win them to the Lord or not. Since Scripture doesn't contradict itself, there is no way the verse in First Peter could be a promise.

Scripture is clear that no matter what one does there is no guarantee they can win another to Christ.

We can't make sure anyone, not a spouse, child, parent or anyone, comes to Christ by anything we do.

We can make it far more likely that another may come to Christ by our prayers and by letting our light shine before them, but we can't ensure they will come to Christ.

Also, just a point that's sometimes forgotten, but in many cases where there is a marriage with a saved spouse and an unsaved spouse, the saved spouse was saved after marriage. Not all unequally yoked marriages are the result of a saved person marrying an unsaved person.

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Okay - you three go ahead and let women whose spouses are unsaved know that God doesn't make any promises to them. That "may" means only maybe...and remember those verses in Revelation, so maybe some people who think they are saved won't make it through the gates....

John, I know that the Bible teaches that if an unsaved spouse wants to depart, let them depart. I really do know that. And I know what 1 Peter teaches. It's there.

But teach that it's just not certain. That would really encourage women to be what God wants them to be, wouldn't it? After all, if there is no surety of salvation, what's the use of living right? Yes, we can say that we should do it because of Christ. And we should. But know what? A woman whose husband isn't saved, whose husband mocks her faith, who has no hope that he will be saved (because, after all, it's only a maybe) will cave eventually.

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Okay - you three go ahead and let women whose spouses are unsaved know that God doesn't make any promises to them. That "may" means only maybe...and remember those verses in Revelation, so maybe some people who think they are saved won't make it through the gates....

John, I know that the Bible teaches that if an unsaved spouse wants to depart, let them depart. I really do know that. And I know what 1 Peter teaches. It's there.

But teach that it's just not certain. That would really encourage women to be what God wants them to be, wouldn't it? After all, if there is no surety of salvation, what's the use of living right? Yes, we can say that we should do it because of Christ. And we should. But know what? A woman whose husband isn't saved, whose husband mocks her faith, who has no hope that he will be saved (because, after all, it's only a maybe) will cave eventually.


Are we only to attempt to win someone to Christ if we are promised we will be successful? What about saved husbands of unsaved wives?

You can't reconcile that Scripture says a saved spouse can't know whether or not they could win their unsaved spouse to Christ with claiming First Peter promises a saved spouse they can win their unsaved spouse to Christ.

Scripture promises no one that they can know for certain that anyone else they try to win to Christ will most assuredly be saved. Such is contrary to the whole Word of God.

I find no discouragement at all in that God doesn't provide us with a promise we can know another will be saved by our actions. Why would I want my works to be a determining factor in anothers salvation?

I fully trust God to work in the hearts of my lost loved ones, otherwise, what would be the purpose of praying for them?

If a husband or wife doesn't love their spouse enough to put the effort into trying to lead them to Christ without benefit of promise of success, then they should search their own hearts rather than complain to God for not promising them success before they even begin.
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Again, the word that "may" comes from in those verses is the same word that in other places is "shall." So it is something more than just maybe. Else, as I have pointed out and no-one has commented on, there MAY be some, according to Revelation, who won't get through the gates. Somehow I don't think that's what those verses in Revelation are teaching - because, if it is, then salvation can be lost...

John, our "works" as you put it most definitely do influence people toward salvation!!!! If they didn't, there would be no need for us to be any different from the lost! Of course prayer enters into it. Good grief - where in the world would you even get the idea that I am saying that there's no need to witness if we're not guaranteed success?

Of course, you don't find lack of comfort in what you propose: you are not the wife of an unsaved man!

Where does scripture say that a spouse can't know whether their spouse will be saved? The scripture in 1 Cor. 7 that asks the question is not saying how do you know...it is saying how do you know that it won't happen. And 1 Peter 3 goes on to tell how it will happen.

What about a saved man with an unsaved wife? 1 Cor. 7 gives the same instruction: stay with them if they are pleased to stay...God gives the man many instructions as to being the head of the home - and loving his wife as Christ loves the church. If the man is obedient to that, he will win his wife to Christ.

I guess this isn't a definite, either: "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." John 14:13,14 I realize that He uses the word will here, and not may. But again, the words come from the same root...and here Christ says whatever you ask, He will do. Of course, we know He is talking about things in God's will. Surely salvation fits.

If a wife obeys scripture (and prays, which actually must be done if she's to be obedient!), she will see her husband won. It may not be in a week, it may not be in a decade, but if she is faithful, God will be faithful to her.

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Again, the word that "may" comes from in those verses is the same word that in other places is "shall." So it is something more than just maybe. Else, as I have pointed out and no-one has commented on, there MAY be some, according to Revelation, who won't get through the gates. Somehow I don't think that's what those verses in Revelation are teaching - because, if it is, then salvation can be lost...

John, our "works" as you put it most definitely do influence people toward salvation!!!! If they didn't, there would be no need for us to be any different from the lost! Of course prayer enters into it. Good grief - where in the world would you even get the idea that I am saying that there's no need to witness if we're not guaranteed success?

Of course, you don't find lack of comfort in what you propose: you are not the wife of an unsaved man!

Where does scripture say that a spouse can't know whether their spouse will be saved? The scripture in 1 Cor. 7 that asks the question is not saying how do you know...it is saying how do you know that it won't happen. And 1 Peter 3 goes on to tell how it will happen.

What about a saved man with an unsaved wife? 1 Cor. 7 gives the same instruction: stay with them if they are pleased to stay...God gives the man many instructions as to being the head of the home - and loving his wife as Christ loves the church. If the man is obedient to that, he will win his wife to Christ.

I guess this isn't a definite, either: "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." John 14:13,14 I realize that He uses the word will here, and not may. But again, the words come from the same root...and here Christ says whatever you ask, He will do. Of course, we know He is talking about things in God's will. Surely salvation fits.

If a wife obeys scripture (and prays, which actually must be done if she's to be obedient!), she will see her husband won. It may not be in a week, it may not be in a decade, but if she is faithful, God will be faithful to her.


I agree, we can influence people but nothing we do guarantees anothers salvation.

First Corinthians 7:16 says the unsaved spouse doesn't know whether they could save their spouse or not. If First Peter were a promise that a saved spouse could know their unsaved spouse would come to Christ then that would contradict First Corinthians.

I really don't know how you get the idea the First Peter is a promise. I've checked commentaries and what some preachers have wrote on this and none say it's a promise. Couple that with the fact it couldn't be a promise or it would contradict First Corinthians, and First Corinthians is clear that saved spouses can't know if they could win their lost spouses to Christ, and we know Scripture doesn't contradict itself, so First Peter couldn't be a promise of guaranteed salvation for unsaved spouses of saved spouses.

How do we explain all the godly spouses who have seen their unsaved spouses die yet lost? Or the ungodly spouses who see their godly spouses die before them and then they go on to die later yet lost?
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