Members Adaram Posted January 22, 2009 Members Share Posted January 22, 2009 Is it just me, or is the lack of accountability amongst Christians becoming a very large issue. I know, for myself, I am not in God's Word as often as I should be. I do not pray as often or as earnestly as I should. Having good friends that will come along side and hold you accountable, I believe, is sorely needed. This requires people that are willing to invest time, and it also requires a willing commitment from yourself. This is just something that the Lord is impressing upon me lately and I wanted to post it here to see what you all think. Thanks for listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bzmomo7 Posted January 22, 2009 Members Share Posted January 22, 2009 The Lord has been impressing this upon me lately, too. I'm sure that having an older woman as a mentor would be of valuable help to many of us ladies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Adaram Posted January 22, 2009 Author Members Share Posted January 22, 2009 My wife actually longs for the kind of mentor/accountability partner. We are both new Christians in our families (from unsaved families). We have found that many Christians from Christian families naturally have that mentor in their parents, but for those of us that do not have that, we truly find something is missing. Thanks for your comment because it really rang home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John81 Posted January 22, 2009 Members Share Posted January 22, 2009 Yes, having someone along our side to help us grow and mature in Christ, to help hold our feet to the fire, as it were, is very helpful. At this time I have no one who fills such a role in my life. Thankfully, I've grown and matured enough in the Lord that I now have the self-discipline and commitment to be in the Word every day and to pray each day. Even so, I do pray the Lord will bring a good Christian friend into my life so that we may help one another in our walk with the Lord. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members futurehope Posted January 23, 2009 Members Share Posted January 23, 2009 I have always made it a point to seek out those godly elders that are willing to confront me when they see me in sin and encourage me when they see me being fruitful. Thing is, they haven't always been "older" but more mature in Christ. As I have matured, I have had others come to me in the same manner that I did. But no matter how much I grow, I always look for guidance and direction from those who are wiser than I - and I don't doubt that God will always supply that for me as long as I am willing to look for it. God Bless, Futurehope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members futurehope Posted January 23, 2009 Members Share Posted January 23, 2009 I'll also add that it is often that just being a father and husband has kept me accountable as I know that my children are watching and learning from me and my wife is looking to me for leadership. It is a humbling thing when you have to go to your child and ask for forgiveness for setting a bad example for them - but well wroth the reward. I tend to get proud at times and, though it is sometimes tough, I always praise God and am lifted when he humbles me. It may be an oxymoron here, but there is no prouder moment than when you have been humbled yourself so that God can lift you up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Adaram Posted January 23, 2009 Author Members Share Posted January 23, 2009 Yeah. I agree Futurehope. Being a parent certainly causes one to think more clearly about accountability! John81, much like yourself, I long to find that person that would both hold me accountable, but also understand me and where I am at. I have lots of friends that understand me pretty well, but many are not saved. I have lots of saved friends as well, but many that I share a belief in our Lord in common, but little else. Not that sharing our belief isn't the most important aspect to share; just that there are a lot of other things in one's life that impact the ability to be consistent. Does that make sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John81 Posted January 23, 2009 Members Share Posted January 23, 2009 Both good posts futurehope! One of my best Christian friends and accountability partners, was several years younger than me yet far more mature in Christ. God truly blessed me and helped to mature and grow me through this friendship. Like you, I also see the accounability aspects pertaining to wife and children. Indeed, they are watching and how I conduct myself and how they see my relationship to God is VERY important and something that helps keep me seeking to walk as God says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members deputydog530 Posted January 24, 2009 Members Share Posted January 24, 2009 Accountiblity partners can be good and bad. My wife and I had a young couple in thier early 20's come to us years ago and ask us to hold them accountable to remain pure until marriage which was only a month away. They started spending late nights together and she would come home at 4:00am (she was staying with us). We gently reminded them of thier request and about temptation. The man became very angry and told us nothing was happening, they were just falling asleep watching tv. I told them that was not how people would view it plus they were putting themselves in a position to sin. They no longer have contact with us. It is a very sad thing as we were, I thought, good friends. Again, I think they can be good, but also turn out bad. I recommend setting boundaries and having scripture and prayer before meetings to prevent what my wife and I went though. Christ is our best accountability partner. Problem is, since we cant see him we forget he is there seeing all we do say and think. If we could remember that we would do a lot better. :smile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John81 Posted January 25, 2009 Members Share Posted January 25, 2009 Accountiblity partners can be good and bad. My wife and I had a young couple in thier early 20's come to us years ago and ask us to hold them accountable to remain pure until marriage which was only a month away. They started spending late nights together and she would come home at 4:00am (she was staying with us). We gently reminded them of thier request and about temptation. The man became very angry and told us nothing was happening, they were just falling asleep watching tv. I told them that was not how people would view it plus they were putting themselves in a position to sin. They no longer have contact with us. It is a very sad thing as we were, I thought, good friends. Again, I think they can be good, but also turn out bad. I recommend setting boundaries and having scripture and prayer before meetings to prevent what my wife and I went though. Christ is our best accountability partner. Problem is, since we cant see him we forget he is there seeing all we do say and think. If we could remember that we would do a lot better. :smile In such a situation I don't know if I would actually count that as an accountability partnership. For the most part, I think true accountability partners have a fairly strong bond and the accountability aspect comes almost naturally. One can specifically seek out accountability partners to an extent, such as with a group of men at church or something like that. With what you describe I have to wonder if maybe they were just wanting some form of cover for what they were doing and hoping you really wouldn't push the issue. That way they could claim they were doing okay and even had an accountability partner making sure it was okay. Of course, I wasn't there so I don't know, but I have seen similar things happen in the past. Someone will ask another to hold them accountable, often in a specific area, with the idea they won't know what they are really doing and won't be a bother but they will have some of their guilt softened by being able to tell others they are being held accountable by you. Kind of like the drunk who thinks you won't get on him about taking a simple drink now and then while he's secretely doing a lot of drinking out of sight. In his mind, he thinks you'll agree he's not crossed the line but if you really point out what his "simple drink" amounts to, he will become angry because you are now no longer his cover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members deputydog530 Posted January 26, 2009 Members Share Posted January 26, 2009 Good point John. Very possible that is what was going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pastorpaul Posted February 13, 2009 Members Share Posted February 13, 2009 Accountability is a great thing to have in your life. If you are sincere and the the other person is spiritual you will find that accountability will help you to grow faster than any other method. It is part of discipleship and is missing in most of our churches. I would encourage you to take your time and seek out godly people, but definitely find an accountability partner. All people, from the pastor to the average church member should have one. Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 I learned somthing new today! Bot how are you sure they won't share with others? That's one reason I like on-line baptist. Is that wrong? Pixiedust Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John81 Posted February 14, 2009 Members Share Posted February 14, 2009 I learned somthing new today! Bot how are you sure they won't share with others? That's one reason I like on-line baptist. Is that wrong? Pixiedust Pray for the Lord to send you such a person. They need to be mature in Christ and someone who has proven to be trustworthy. As with all things, you are taking a risk, which is why you must be careful and you need God's guidance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 John- I'm afraid to share the risk of their being untrustworthy is just too high! I've been praying the Lord would help me with these feelins. Right now I cann't see it but I"ve seen the Lord work miracles! Thank you for just praying ---your sister in Christ pixiedust IIpray your feeling better!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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