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Married folks how do you handle when others flirt with you? What about when they ask you out? Or when the opposite sex puts their arm around you, pats or rubs your back.

I often take my wedding ring off at work while doing procdures (blood and diamonds don't go together :oops: )and forgot to put my ring back on. Although I am a chunky girl, I still get asked out and flirted with. I usually say "my husband don't let me date" and slip my ring back on. and walk away.

The other thing is I work with a bunch of touchy people. The men and some women I work with will come up give you a hug, rub your shoulders and even put their arm around you. It is all in a friendly manner, and they do it to all the ladies and men. I just want to crawl away cause i don't want to be hugged, but I don't want to appear cold and callus, so I inch away in a nonconfrontional manner.

i laugh cause I work in Chicago where it is "suppose" to be rude unfriendly, but it really is friendlier then what people would think.

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

[quote]
I usually say [b]"my husband don't let me date"[/b] and slip my ring back on. and walk away.
[/quote]

That is one of the best [b]"come-back one-liners"[/b] I've ever seen.

Being [b]old, fat, bald, and ugly [/b]I don't have that problem. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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I have never had this problem at work. I did have a woman start a conversation with me when I was on a business trip. As soon as I told her I was a Pastor, married to a wonderful wife, and had two great children, she got up and walked away.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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except mine is doctor!!
esp my physical theripist.
he will rub his hand all over my back and i literly cringe! he must be able to tell.
and this is while he is speaking about something.
yikes!!
i feel like a deer with 2 headlight bearing down on me!!
im pretty sure? thats its just because hes super friendly, but i can not stand it at all, what about in that case???
ugh. : :shock:
he must know im a christian or something cause im the only one that wears a dress to p.t.....

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[quote]
They all are christian where I work "catholic christian "
[/quote]

even if they know the Lord Jesus Christ as their Saviour you can still talk with them about the Lord and talk about scripture.

If they are Catholic Christians maybe you could ask them if they believe that Jesus blood alone was enough for them to enter heaven or do they have to be a member of the Catholic church to go to heaven?


Act 4:12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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Simply say " I do not appreciate you touching me, so DO NOT do it again" seems to me that would solve the problem unless there is someting missing upstairs. Sometimes we all have to stand up and speak up. Rudeness SHOULD NOT rule especially when it comes to the sanctity of marriage.We can all do and say all things for and in the honor of our God. :D :) :idea:

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  • 1 month later...
  • Advanced Member

pneu-engine. I have been "hit" on more since I became old, fat and ugly than when I was young, skinny and ugly.

One preacher put it, "I maybe old, fat and ugly but to some woman out there I am a knight in shining armor."

When you least expect it someone will say or do things that will warp your head no matter what "shape" you are in.

One of the sayings back in the '60's but I still hear is "8-80, blind crippled or crazy it's all the same."

That is very sad but true. We hear about child molesters but there are folks that have a fetish for fat folks, one legged or one armed wmen and people over 70. In fact, I read somewhere that the mumber of women prostitutes over the age of 65 is growing. I reckon fixed incomes create new pressures at that point plus at that age there is no fear of pregancy and if you get a terminal disease that will kill you in 10 years, so what you may not have that long anyway.

Some of the biggest and plain spoken "hits" I have ever had gotten have been in nursing homes. With the advent of Viagra I can't even imagine what goes on and this is from the generation that never talked about sex openly and when even the word virgin could not be said on TV. Now that there aren't any virgins on TV imagine what the workers will have to endure when the hippie generation is in the nursing home aka commune!!!!!

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Hehehehheheehhe, my [b]stopper[/b] is usually when I begin my [color=darkred][i][b]"tech-speak"[/b][/i][/color]. I can really get intense and passionate about efficiency ratings, horsepower, metallurgical characteristics, etc, and the minute I begin rattling on about an invention, they just walk away, and then I have to smile. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

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[quote="pneu-engine"]
Hehehehheheehhe, my [b]stopper[/b] is usually when I begin my [color=darkred][i][b]"tech-speak"[/b][/i][/color]. I can really get intense and passionate about efficiency ratings, horsepower, metallurgical characteristics, etc, and the minute I begin rattling on about an invention, they just walk away, and then I have to smile. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
[/quote]

:haha :haha :haha

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Well not sure how well that works PE

When my husband he was a junior at Purdue University I immediately thought engineer and $$$$ :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Some women really like brainee guys.
I admit it wasn't my husbands looks that attracted me to him, it was his smarts :wink:

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[quote="My Saviour Leads Me"]
Let them know that you are a Christian. Talk to them about the Lord.
[/quote]
This now is the BEST & Wisest words anyone could say. We should not give off the air ever of seemingly wanting to be touched/hugged rather we be christian or non- christian.I would know exactly what to say if another man tried to hug me, I would say to him in a very courteous way that I do not appreciate that and neither would my husband and I NEVER remove my wedding rings. I learned something though I did not know that blood was a permanent fixture on diamonds(Guess, I am pretty dumb)??? Never too old to LEARN (LOL)

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[quote]
I learned something though I did not know that blood was a permanent fixture on diamonds
[/quote]

There are some cleaning solutions/agents that [color=darkred][b][size=18][i]digest[/i][/size] proteins[/b][/color]. One of those agents in an [color=darkred][b]ultrasonic cleaner [/b][/color]will leave your ring bright and shining just like the day you got it at the jewelers.

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  • 3 years later...

Years ago (before husband allowed me not to work) I had a man come from our church!! He ask me out to lunch. The stupid women I was I told him I was just too busy to take lunch that day. The next day he came back and ask me to go to lunch. I got it!! I told him of course let me call my husband (whom he knew at church!) and you call your wife (used her name !) and said let's set up a time to go out to lunch. Went in my office and called my husband immediately and he said I had done very good but that I should have told him the first day he came by but I explained I didn't get it the first day. He's at church with us! My husband gave me some one liners to use after this but most of all he allowed me to stop working soon after this like I had been asking to not have to do!! PD

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Cathy,

I know what you are talking about. I was in the medical field for many years before I became a SAHM. Most medical people are very touchy feely type of people. And their boundaries are not the same as others I think because of how we see the human body and that we are always touching patients. So maybe first I would pray about my feelings and how I am viewing what is going on. Especially since you know there are innocent intentions behind the hugs and shoulder pats. If you still feel uncomfortable I would wait for the right moment and then talk to the major offenders alone one by one and just tell them that you know that they are being nice and friendly but for you they are invading your personal space or you could joke around too about it. It sounds like they are people that would take it better in a joke. You could say something like " Hey personal space here" or "I thought only married people get that close" It will get your point across with out them feeling like they need to get their back up.

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My oldest daughter and I have each found out by experience that many times the presence of a ring makes not one whit of difference.


I've been know to laugh and say, "Oh pleease, I've got a Rolls Royce at home, I'm not interested in a Volkswagon" (I worked constuction, many of those women don't take hints well).

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My oldest daughter and I have each found out by experience that many times the presence of a ring makes not one whit of difference.


I've been know to laugh and say, "Oh pleease, I've got a Rolls Royce at home, I'm not interested in a Volkswagon" (I worked constuction, many of those women don't take hints well).


I've experienced that, ring or no ring, it really doesn't matter any more. In fact, some women seem to prefer to hit on married men because they feel safer with them. I've had folks who have ended up in affairs tell me it all started with them becoming friendly with another married person because both thought it safe since they were both married. Of course, they let their guards down and their friendship quickly went in the wrong direction.

Some women prefer married men because they aren't looking for a long-term commitment. They want a guy to have fun with for awhile, and sometimes they want to extra perks married guys can often provide since they tend to be older, established and have more "extra money" and many like to shower gifts on their mistress.
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  • 6 months later...
  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

ok, first let me say, I am a guy! (Just clearing the air)
I do not believe in touching another woman, even to the point of tapping her on the shoulder to tell her something. (I shake hands if she offers her hand though) I am hoping that I have never put a lady in the "uncomfortable zone", and if I have, it was not deliberate. I don't even write to women that are friends of ours on the intenet, unles it is VERY important, and then I tell my wife immediately what I said, etc. She is the same way. Many times I have had to withdraw from a hug, and I got some funny looks, and remarks, but I did it anyway.

In your situation, (different with me, of course), I would kindly tell them that I do feel uncomfortable with them touching. they will be surprised, and maybe slightly offended, but to stop it right from the start is better. Many men come on as friendly and inniocent to see how YOU react; they are "testing the waters" so to speak. If you let them know up front, they will most likely say they do not understand, but inside they will respect you. I trief to explain my position to a lady on another forum who wanted me to send her some devotions (I write devos), and I asked if I could send them to her husband; she was no longer married. I got a response of several question marks, and I never saw her post again! I do it in the name of "propriety".

Back to that work thing; if it comes to that, once you embarass a man publicly, he most likely will keep his distance from then on. It is hard to do, but sometimes must be done. Some men do not read your signals right, or don't want to!

Hope this helps.

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Couldn't you had your wife send her the devotions and reach out to her??


ok, first let me say, I am a guy! (Just clearing the air)
I do not believe in touching another woman, even to the point of tapping her on the shoulder to tell her something. (I shake hands if she offers her hand though) I am hoping that I have never put a lady in the "uncomfortable zone", and if I have, it was not deliberate. I don't even write to women that are friends of ours on the intenet, unles it is VERY important, and then I tell my wife immediately what I said, etc. She is the same way. Many times I have had to withdraw from a hug, and I got some funny looks, and remarks, but I did it anyway.

In your situation, (different with me, of course), I would kindly tell them that I do feel uncomfortable with them touching. they will be surprised, and maybe slightly offended, but to stop it right from the start is better. Many men come on as friendly and inniocent to see how YOU react; they are "testing the waters" so to speak. If you let them know up front, they will most likely say they do not understand, but inside they will respect you. I trief to explain my position to a lady on another forum who wanted me to send her some devotions (I write devos), and I asked if I could send them to her husband; she was no longer married. I got a response of several question marks, and I never saw her post again! I do it in the name of "propriety".

Back to that work thing; if it comes to that, once you embarass a man publicly, he most likely will keep his distance from then on. It is hard to do, but sometimes must be done. Some men do not read your signals right, or don't want to!

Hope this helps.
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  • 2 months later...
  • Advanced Member

Irishman, Your advice on embarassing a man in public that won't leave you alone is so true. When I was younger I never could have done that but some men are relentless even in a public setting. But this really does work! I just don't think we should have to be put in that position to begin with and I would have to ask my husband for the one liners to embarrass. I find it easier to just brag about my husband. That works also!! Yet, Irishman your way does work hands down the best!!

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Irishman, Your advice on embarassing a man in public that won't leave you alone is so true. When I was younger I never could have done that but some men are relentless even in a public setting. But this really does work! I just don't think we should have to be put in that position to begin with and I would have to ask my husband for the one liners to embarrass. I find it easier to just brag about my husband. That works also!! Yet, Irishman your way does work hands down the best!!


His... Thanks for the vote of support, you would be amazed at how many Christians (men and women) do not seem to understand these precepte, which were at one time "normal". I have been asked if I was "locked in a closet all my life"--and this by a "Christian" woman at work! Believe me, I have seen much of the worldly attitude that some Christians have at work.

Anyway, my computer went kaput, so I will not be around as often for awhile, it was good talking to all of you; may we all meet in person in Gloryland, and praise our Lord together.
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This reminds me of a Christian woman who called into a Christian radio station. She was a single woman and was upset because the church men were no different than the men she knew before she was saved.

She stated the men she had tried to date from the church were "all hands" and couldn't understand why she didn't want to do that.

Such a very sad testimony that seems to be all too common these days.

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  • 1 year later...
  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

I usually don't wear my ring, but my wife wears a simple band (Avon, 14.95).

I use to have this problem you are discussing, but until I read this post I never realized why it quit. But 10 or so years ago I decided to bring Godly things (Father, Are you a church goer?, Jesus Christ, church invite, Saved?, hymn singing, prayer needs?, whatever) up to everyone I met, and I haven't had one come on since then. Thanks for helping to bring that blessing to my recognition.

P.S. No, we don't sell or endorse Avon. :) But it was an inexpensive solution for a chemist.

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Once, at work, I overheard one of the guys say they were going fishing. I mentioned how I enjoy fishing, etc. The guy was surprised to hear a woman who liked fishing, proceeded to hit on me and started asking about if I also cook and clean too, lol. I said 'I do for my husband'. He backed off. Everyone thought it was funny that I said that :-P

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Lady Administrators

In my office, I have all kinds of photos of my husband, so people are aware that I am married as soon as they walk in. With my co-workers, I talk about my hubby all the time. And he's met a good many, so they know we are happily married. I also have pictures of my soldier son in my office, in case they don't get the hint. :nuts:

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On the rare occasions when I find myself working or volunteering around some women that don't really know me I look for opportunities to mention my wife. If they say something to me about food I might use that to make a comment about my wife's cooking (a good comment!). That's just an example, there are so many ways to fit something about our spouse into a conversation if we look for them. Doing this makes it clear we are married and if we are talking positvely about our spouse and often that also makes it clear we are pleased with our spouse. This is helpful because for some women, seeing a wedding ring isn't enough to keep them from thinking of making a move. The same is true for some guys as well.

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