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How do you help you children adjust to the world?


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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

Keep them totally involved in any church activities available, soulwinning, youth group, other ministries...get involved with a homeschool group and participate in field trips...maybe even get them into a sports team in a local Christian school if available. The most *normal* homeschoolers I have met have done all these things.

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

As our kids have gotten older and have grown in their ability to discern right and wrong, we have allowed more. They now participate in town sports and are permitted to do things that a couple years ago and even last year I wouldn't have allowed them to do. Each time, we take the time to go over what they are going to experience and we always take time afterward to answer their questions and show them from Scripture why it was wrong.

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  • 1 month later...
  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

"And Jesus increased in wisdom, and stature, and in favor with God and man."

It was very social in the Bible....people lived with extended family, loads of cousins, etc.

I don't think its good for kids to be isolated.

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[quote]
I don't think its good for kids to be isolated.
[/quote]

I don't believe I stated or even implied that it was. I was just asking a question for the sake of discussion.

[quote]
It was very social in the Bible....people lived with extended family, loads of cousins, etc.
[/quote]

Yes, they did...they weren't, however, forced to sit for seven hours a day, five days a week, segregated by age. :D

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

[quote]
I don't believe I stated or even implied that it was. I was just asking a question for the sake of discussion.
[/quote]

Nope, I know...I was just making a blanket statement.

As far as sitting in school...in Bible days the children learned the trade of the father. Our culture is not like this anymore and schools have been around for a long time. Before schools they were home schooled or else apprenticed or simply did not learn to read.

I don't agree with kids not having any recess or activity time but if a school provides these things I think its a good thing, esp in a Christian environment.

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[quote="Kubel"]
[quote="Chelle"]Here's a question to ponder:

How much "socialization" do children really need?
[/quote]

Kids need socialization. If they don't, they end up growing up with serious problems.[/quote]

Your answer is great if the question was "Do children need socialization?" But it wasn't. The question was "[i][b]How much[/b][/i] socialization do children really need?"

A lot? A little?

The common myth is that homeschooled children aren't socialized. What propagators of this myth [i][b]really[/b][/i] mean is that children who are homeschooled are not indoctrinated with all the liberal and godless doctrine that the public school system would have them absorb and accept.

Not all parents are meant to be homeschoolers, nor are all children meant to be homeschooled. If parents are truly led of God to teach their children this way, God will equip them (by giving them the wisdom to know what their strengths and weaknesses are, and also guiding them to the resources that will work best in teaching their children according to the childrens' learning style -- whether visual or auditory). [i]NOTE: I am [b]not[/b] one of those who believes that if parents send their children to public or Christian school that they are doing a disservice to them spiritually.[/i]

It's just a pet peeve of mine that many consider homeschooled children "weird" or "isolated" simply because they are homeschooled. That's the main reason I wanted to ask that question about how much socialization they need. Contrary to what some might think, I was [b][i]not[/i][/b] implying that they don't need any. Are we clear? Good. :D

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[quote]
The common myth is that homeschooled children aren't socialized.
[/quote]

From my experince with going to church with home schooled children it isn't a myth. Really, I am talking of my own experence and with the families, I have seen and know and see now. there children are literal misfits in society.

I am not posting this to start a fight. I am posting this because this is what I have experienced. Maybe I have only seen the bad, what a coincidence. But it is why I am so anti homeschool.

maybe good can come out of homeschooling, I just have not seen it yet.

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[quote]
From my experince with going to church with home schooled children it isn't a myth. Really, I am talking of my own experence and with the families, I have seen and know and see now. there children are literal misfits in society.
[/quote]

More than likely their parents are social misfits too (by social misfit I mean possessing no social skills whatsoever, not simply being different from the "norm" -- whatever [i][b]that[/b][/i] is :roll: ). They learned their parents' antisocial behavior (or inherited it, or some combination of both) and they'd display that behavior no matter what their educational setting was.

Besides, Christians are considered social misfits by the "world", so who are we, really, to call someone else a misfit?

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[quote]
Besides, Christians are considered social misfits by the "world", so who are we, really, to call someone else a misfit?
[/quote]

I am going by my expereince and what I saw and misfits would be IMHO criminals, homosexuals, child abusers, murders and I could continue if you like

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

The parents who homeschool out of an isolationist philosophy raise self centered children who can't make friends.

The parents who homeschool out of laziness (want to sleep in) raise lazy, uneducated kids.

The parents who homeschool because they feel its the best education for their children, and they have a routine, and they socialize at every church function and go on field trips with others usually raise well rounded, intelligent children....the only thing is they also should be trained that other kids who are not homeschooled can be just as godly as they are because sometimes there is a pride factor there that should not be.

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

I agree, my posts are from my past ones as well...I have met, I think, about every kind of homeschooler, from weird, obnoxious, proud, stupid, or just plain intelligent, godly kids. It really is mostly the parents.

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I homeschool my four children becauseit is the best education for my children. I have moved three times in two years with my husbands job. I used to have them in a Christianschool, where I taught. I have an education degree. The christian school was pretty good,except that there were parents that had their children in the school for other reasons than of a good christian education.

I went to a public school when I was a child. I was so mistreated and had no socialization. My children are active in church, soccer with our county, boy scouts, girl scouts and many other things. I have more time to be with my children and they have more activities now than they would if they were in public school. I work a full time job from 11 pm until 7am, so I can be with my children to give them the best life.

My childrens state tests; tests them a grade level higher in every subject. They are the most friendly and outgoing children. I would have never been this way, and I was exposed to "the world".

I do not like parents that homeschool for selfish reasons. I am held accountable for my childrens education and I will not let my children suffer in any way. It works best for my children, because it gives them stability in a unstable work world.


This is how I am with my homeschooling. I agree that there are people who should not be homeschooling, but they have the right to do it.

You cannot put all homeschoolers is a tight group. There are many people out there that have problems. I think society today needs to take account for their own actions and quit blameing everyone and everything for their problems.

Gail

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

You sound like one of the awesome homeschoolers! I commend you for sure...because I know its a job I probably couldn't do, and I even have an education degree as well.

Homeschooling is a VERY demanding job for mom, if it is done correctly. That's why I can't believe some moms just flippantly say "Oh I don't like that teacher, I think I'll homeschool."

Anyway, great job gklima!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

As a side note I would recommend that churches EITHER have a Christian school OR a homeschool umbrella....because often if you mix the two there is a very similar situation to Dr. Seuss' "The Sneeches"..... (One group thinks they are better than the other group....and results in cliques and strife in church...)

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

No what I mean by a homeschool umbrella would be you have several families in your church who decide they want to homeschool together instead of having a Christians school...so they'd go on field trips together and do SAT testing together, etc, through the church, but they'd only be church members or *possibly* like faith churches similar to Christian school but very limited.

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Where I live there are no Christian schools for about a 2 hours drive, and my state doesn't require an umbrella school. I am registered with the state and I volunteer to give them my attendance sheets and test scores. It keeps me from getting slack in any of my teaching.

I have not had any problems with having problems with the two "schools" clashing.

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  • 4 years later...
  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

Just happened to look at this and wanted to add something. I don't want my kids "adjusted to the world". I want them to adjust to God. If they are walking with God and doing what they are supposed to be doing, they will be taken care of. My kids know enough about right and wrong that they can socialize with other kids at the playground and realize the right way to do things and the wrong way. If someone starts doing something stupid, they come home. We participate in Boy Scouts and all Church activities. I'm leery of anything from the world but I know that if we raise them in the nuture and admonition of the Lord...they will be quite fine.

Again, I'm raising them for God...not for this pathetic world.

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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

Just happened to look at this and wanted to add something. I don't want my kids "adjusted to the world". I want them to adjust to God. If they are walking with God and doing what they are supposed to be doing, they will be taken care of. My kids know enough about right and wrong that they can socialize with other kids at the playground and realize the right way to do things and the wrong way. If someone starts doing something stupid, they come home. We participate in Boy Scouts and all Church activities. I'm leery of anything from the world but I know that if we raise them in the nuture and admonition of the Lord...they will be quite fine.

Again, I'm raising them for God...not for this pathetic world.


:amen:

I heard a Christian lady on the radio last night who was asked how she managed to raise her children so well when others have so many problems. She was asked about how she got her daughters to dress modest and act modest and what she did when they asked about what others wore or did. She said she always told her daughters from an early age on that she was raising them for the Lord, not the world. That as Christians they were called to a higher standard and pleasing God is far more important than any seeming approval from worldly people or the world in general.
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  • 3 months later...
  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

Just happened to look at this and wanted to add something. I don't want my kids "adjusted to the world". I want them to adjust to God. If they are walking with God and doing what they are supposed to be doing, they will be taken care of. My kids know enough about right and wrong that they can socialize with other kids at the playground and realize the right way to do things and the wrong way. If someone starts doing something stupid, they come home. We participate in Boy Scouts and all Church activities. I'm leery of anything from the world but I know that if we raise them in the nuture and admonition of the Lord...they will be quite fine.

Again, I'm raising them for God...not for this pathetic world.



Hurray for you Dennis, they do not have to adjust to this world, it is that type of thinking that sometimes throws us off track!
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  • 4 months later...
Because homeschooled kids are more "sheltered" than public school kids, how do you make sure that they'll adjust to the real world and keep their values?


I'm not sure what you mean by saying that homeschooled children are "sheltered". Our children are out in the "real world" far more than their government schooled counterparts.
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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist
Because homeschooled kids are more "sheltered" than public school kids, how do you make sure that they'll adjust to the real world and keep their values?


Just what is "the real world"? Are you implying that home school families live in a fantasy world?

And just what is wrong with sheltering our children from a world of unbridled sin and debauchery?

Godly parents do not want their children to be adjusted to the so-called "real world". Edited by brosmith
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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

I don't believe that homeschooling is what makes a child a "misfit" in society, but rather how the parents raises the child and what they allow the children to do.

I've seen just as many "misfits" in Christian schools.


Yes, I see your point from the homeschool side.

However, the vast majority of misfits in society aren't homeschooled they are publicly educated. Granted there are many more millions of publicly educated children from which to become "social misfits."

I would have to say in response to the OP that public education shows what is too much socialization. Which leads us back to having and maintaining a balance based on the Bible.

I will add, that I prefer my children be social misfits in the "real world" than miss their fit in God's world to come. Edited by 1Tim115
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  • Independent Fundamental Baptist

It's a common misperception, which the media tend to push, that homeschooled children are kept locked away in their homes with little or not contact with the outside world.

The fact is, most homeschooled children are active or very active in their church and often various other organizations from Scouts to charity based groups to sports, etc.

Homeschooled children tend to be better at speaking with and interacting with adults because they are not kept separated by age as are public school children.

It's also true, even when considering adjusted percentages, that the vast majority of misft kids, juvenile deliquents, drop outs, and those far below "grade level", come from the public school sector and not the homeschooling sector.

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