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Dating/Courting part 2


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  • 3 months later...
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well,
i'm not exactly sure how i believe all the way, but i'll give my beliefs that i have. I agree with what i've read of Joshua Harris' book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. He puts the emphasis on giving God the glory. When we start sayin, okay i will do this i won't do this, i will go there, i won't go there, we start puttin rules in front of God. Now i agree with everybody, there must be standards. But when you say, i will not consider datin till i'm this old, i will not date this type of person, i must be supervised on dates, and i must abide by men's rules, you choke out a great possibility of God givin you His girl or guy. this has recently happened with me, and has opened up a can of emotions that i've held from girls, because it was "wrong to like a girl at my age." Maybe i like her, and maybe i don't i don't really know, but i have natural feelins towards her. How far i let these feeling progress, since she isn't saved, is up to me. I have a feelin she'll be saved, and when she does, i wouldn't mind dating her. i'm sry but yeah i said i might date her. This sitution is the same as with many other situations in the church today. You can go legalist (as i was) and say dating is wrong and i'm not gonna do it. ha thats funny because God never really labeled dating wrong in the Bible. can you date without lust, which is wrong in the Bible, of course. Can you date without premarital sex, as is termed unpure? Of course. the questions resides on our opinion of pure. If you can show me a scripture in context of pure meaning not kissing, sure i'll believe you. but we major too much on the minors. YOU CAN BE SOUTHERN BAPTIST AND STILL BE FUNDAMENTAL!! fundamentalism is defined as the belief in the 7 fundamental doctrines. SO, if i date does that make me not a fundamental, of course not. most of all, i believe we should seek God's guidance on our situation.
One of my hero's, Billy Sunday, didn't necessarily get his "convictions" from another person, like so many legalists today. He got his convictions from His God....And oh my he wasn't even Baptist. What i'm tryin to say is that God will take care of us, guidelines are good to have, but don't let them shut God off. God can do anything He wants to!!

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Guy/girl relationships is not something that can be put in a neat little box and labeled like a lot of IFB people seem to think it can be. The situation of my boyfriend and I is different to others, and because our circumstances are different, our method will be somewhat different. There are a few distinct rules God has put in the Bible, such as not committing fornication before marriage, and there are ways to guard against that and being pure. He also calls us to purity.

However, to put something in a tiny box and say something like you have to have known someone for a certain amount of time, then he has to ask the girl's parents, then they have to spend a certain amount of time courting before engagement. You know what? That doesn't work for everyone. Why not? My father doesn't want a man to ask him if he can take me out.

My boyfriend and I are striving for purity. My parents know I'm in a relationship with him, and his parents know, and both parents are happy. I've even talked with his father on the phone and online. His church is supportive of the relationship, as is my church. I got him to call a missionary friend of mine whom I trust and that missionary grilled him for like three hours, and then told me he thought very highly of him. That meant a lot to me. He has not hidden things from me. I have spoken to many of his friends, and his preacher. I am studying him. Then, in July, he is flying out to Australia and I will see him for three whole weeks. Yes, I have a long distance relationship, he is in the USA and I am in Australia, but we have been praying together and seperately and believe we are in God's will.

So just because we do things a little differently, we are still striving for purity and God's glory, it doesn't mean that it is wrong. God puts people in different circumstances. God works in people's lives in different ways.

Katy-Anne

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  • 3 weeks later...
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I personally think that God will show you the right man or woman... and you don't have to be 19 or 27 to find the one you are meant to be with the rest of you life. I am 17 and i am a girl and I know without a doubt in my mind theat the man I am going to marry is in my senior class... I am graduating with him... we went out for a couple months... no dates or anything just sitting by each other .... things like that... we had to break up b/c his parents want him to work on colege (sp) But I know he is the man I am going to marry without a doubt in my mind... Because God told me...... no I am not being stupid.... I am honest....

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  • 7 months later...
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So I know this is kind of a dead post now and all, but I had some time today...and its kinda interesting to see what everyone has to say about dating-courting and such. I recently read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Josh Harris. He said some very interesting things, but I can't say that I totally agree with him on everything. I think it is different for each individual couple. My personal thoughts on dating and courting are...Above everything is to keep the Lord first in your own individual life. Also to keep Him at the center and focus of the relationship. If you have good godly parents be sure to ask their advice, and seek their counsel. Also don't give place to the devil...if you know you're in a situation where it will be easy to be tempted...flee that situation! That's why courting is a good thing...there is that accountablity of having other people around you. Anyways..in regards to meeting that special someone...just trust the Lord. He is faithful. Delight in Him, and He will give you the desires of your heart! :)

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  • 1 year later...
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I haven't read that book or heard about it up until now, but I believe courting is pretty simple. God told us and we all understand that we should be pure in body and to not commit sin. The same also for the mind. Ph. 4:8,"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, watsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise think on these things." I believe though that we shouldn't play around with temptation...like Joseph. Don't get me wrong, he was a great man of faith, but he went into the house alone knowing that Potipher's wife would be there and allowed her to get close enough to where she was able to grab his coat. Don't play with temptation. My family isn't the most godly family you'd find on the planet and frankly if I started dated someone out of the blue it wouldn't really matter much. Not even the fact that I would have more freedom with that person than any godly parent would deem suitable. If I had a boyfriend he wouldn't want to meet my stepfather and I wouldn't want him to meet him either! It's understood that not everyone has the "picture perfect" life. But you can make it as less tempting as possible! Seek God first, then godly counsel. If you're parents can't be it then look to the church! Besides kissing and hugging and holding hands dating? ... That leaves plenty of room for a broken heart, thoughts that you can't get out of the mind, the corruption of the mind, and room for lots of sin. No thanks. ^ ^ I'm saving it ALL for the altar! :Bleh

BTW: I don't believe Jesus would go around kissing and hugging his girlfriend before marriage...

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  • 13 years later...
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On 1/9/2006 at 11:53 AM, pneu-engine said:

[quote]
uh... what about those of us who don't have Christian parents? I know for a fact that any guy who would ever even possibly think about working in the ministry or who goes to a Christian college would be off my dad's "ok" list.
[/quote]

In that case you have to go with God as your Heavenly Father, and still honor and respect your earthly father, but definitely don't go for his "pick".

Is this a quote from Scripture? > "Fools rush in" ?  

Well,   so let it be, if it is.

Remember a few centuries ago when arranged marriages were standard part of normal daily life ?

That sure worked a lot better than almost anything done today, eh ?

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