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Dating/Courting part 2

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Auxtin
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Hey all. I thought it would be a good Idea to continue this topic previously discussed, this will give us more room to think, and then we won't have to find pages to go back to a post for help in our lives. (hope I make sense) Hope this is okay with the person who started the topic...
thanks

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I'll sum it all up.

I am a single 21 year old, blonde hair, about 5' 9", 165lbs. I have not finished college, and I have no job. I am in absolutely no condition to get married right now. Therefore, I am not seeking a woman right now. If you are not ready for marriage, don't seek a woman/man.

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Hmm ... I was 19, no job, a junior in college, 5'10" and 205 (weightlifter), a head full of blonde afro-styled hair and a red beard, and unsaved.

Been married 26 years and still going strong (we're both saved now). I wasn't seeking a woman either, but I truly believe God put her right in front of me, even though I was unsaved.

Do what God's telling you to do, Kubel, but don't completely shut the door just because you think the timing is not right. God will determine when the best time to present your wife to you. But if you're adamant that you're not ready, you may miss God's opportunity.

Mitch

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I can't say that I think courtship is a good idea at all.

Some of you say that you can't see the real person who you are dating on dates. Do you think that you would see the "real person" with both of your parents there monitoring your conversations??

Maybe I don't understand courtship, but if you really want to know someone you should either become good friends first, or have a long relationship with that person.

That is my opinion at least!

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[quote]
Some of you say that you can't see the real person who you are dating on dates.
[/quote]

You are supposed to get to know other people at group settings::: Church picnics and activities, fellowships, in church services, etc. This is where you [b][i]"go to school"[/i][/b] on that person. You watch and observe them discreetly so that they don't even know they are being "studied".

[quote]
Do you think that you would see the "real person" with both of your parents there monitoring your conversations??
[/quote]

By this time you should have already done your homework and know that person.

When the one-on-one time comes in courting you'll both be putting your best faces forward and trying to act your most genteel. Both of you will be

[size=18][color=darkred][i][b] "Puttin' on the dawg"[/b][/i], [/color][/size] [i](((means::: trying to impress her and her parents)))[/i]

and might even try to outdo each other whilst,

[i][size=18][color=darkred][b]"Watchin' each others' cows go down the road"[/b].[/color][/size][/i] [i](((means::: trying to be impressively gentlemanly)))[/i]

[i](((We Penn-Dutchies have strange expressions, I know. :lol: :lol: :lol: )))[/i]

You can do most of your observing with your ears. I.E. Listen for things like::::

1. How does he/she handle ridicule (just or unjust, fair or unfair, true or false)???. Do they take it in stride, or do they let it rattle them. Remember, into every life some rain must fall.

2. How do they take it when someone else is ridiculed (Likewise, just or unjust, fair or unfair, true or false)??? Do they "go to bat" for that other person, ask for the benefit of the doubt and defend them, or just let it slide and ignore it.

3. How do they handle praise??? Do they send the glory on to God, or do they just drink it all in and scarf it right up. Remember, "As a fining pot is for silver, so is a man to his praise." So then, just like a refiner's fire will cause the dross that is deep inside the silver to float to the top while in the crucible, in the very same way will praise bring to the surface of a man's personality the thoughts and intents of his heart for all to see. If he is humble, he will give glory to God, but if he's proud, arrogant, and/or self-absorbed, you'll see that too. Just recently, I thanked and praised somebody for something they did for me and he said, "Hey, you don't don't know the half of my abilities." Right away I held my nose really tight, at which he asked why. I said, [size=18][color=darkred][i][b]"SPS ---> Self Praise Stinks".[/b][/i][/color][/size]

4. How does he take it when someone else is praised for a job well-done??? Does he become thankful that someone else is also helping to promote God's kingdom, or does he get envious that he wasn't the one to have a moment in the limelight.

5. Is he an individual that desires the preeminence and try to rise to the top by putting others down???

6. How does he handle hardship??? Does he tighten his belt and let God be in control, or does he go about complaining.

7. What does he do or say about others that come upon hardship. Is he a generous soul with a kindly spirit of compassion, and willing to put feet to his words and do what he can to help those in need.

8. Is he a soulwinner. He that winneth souls is wise, or say that's only for full-time Christian workers.

9. Where does he stand on Biblical separation. Does he try to be as close as possible to God and His kingdom and righteousness, or does he desire to be as much like the world as he can and still be called a Christian.

So then, by observing these things you'll learn all you need to know about the individual that has caught your eye. :mrgreen:

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Ok so this discussion is all male so far...So I believe I will speak up now...If I was dating/courting a young gentleman, if he isn't brave enough to go on a date with me and my parents than he isn't man enough to go on a date with me alone(not that I wouldn't do that.) It is shown as a sign of respect to my father and me.

When I date and seek a future mate, I want someone who is going to like my dad and become friends with him. My dad is one of my very best friends in the world. And if my husband can't get along with my dad then I don't think that it would work out.

I know that God is gonna send that guy along, and he will be much more than I ever expected. Because God always supplies above our expectations.

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A hearty AMEN, Kayla. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Stay really close to your dad, because the hubby that God will supply you [i](((notice I said, [b]"will"[/b], not [b]"if"[/b]. See my sig. line to know why. :D ))) [/i]will be the one That God chooses to pick up where your dad leaves off.

Every real lady deserves a [b]real man[/b], and any guy that is so [color=red][b]weak, wimpy and wussy[/b][/color] that he wouldn't welcome your parents on a date with you is all wrong for you. :D :D :D

Kayla, please let me say that those guidelines in my previous post are for both ladies and men. :mrgreen:

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[quote]
uh... what about those of us who don't have Christian parents? I know for a fact that any guy who would ever even possibly think about working in the ministry or who goes to a Christian college would be off my dad's "ok" list.
[/quote]

In that case you have to go with God as your Heavenly Father, and still honor and respect your earthly father, but definitely don't go for his "pick".

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How about your pastor or your youth pastor/direct...Ask him to go with you. I know that my pastor has told me I will marry no man without his approval :lol: He is sort of protective, he is my "grandfather" And then there is uncle Brian[church's missions treasurer](who is not biologically my uncle but is my uncle still)who says he has invited any guy that I bring home to stay at his house...poor fellow will get interrogated for hours. :frog I am not allowed to marry anyone who doesn't not fit his approval either. But all three of them would like the guy if one of them did so...

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*Says a little prayer for S....* poorer guy!! *giggles*




...As I prepare to depart from the land of the living, I would like to thank all of you except Kayla Beth for the love and kindness you have shown me. I expect you will all be faithful in praying me out of purgatory. :saint

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