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How do you people deal with a situation when somebody gives your children or babies something that is against your convictions?

If I ever have a little girl, I NEVER want her dressed in pants, even from the day she is born, and I know that the people at our church would buy pants for her because they don't think it's wrong and the church ladies all wear them, even, unfortunately, to church.

Then what about stuff like fairy tales? We have agreed that we don't want our children to have them because they have witches and stuff in them. But people seem to give books of those to children as gifts.

How do you deal with stuff like that without being offensive?

Katy-Anne

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Depends on the age of the child.... if the child is a baby, usually just accept the gift with a smile and thank you, and get rid of it. Eventually your church people will get to know you and know your dress standards anyway, it just might take a couple years.

If the child is older...when my kids get something we don't agree with, we explain why they are wrong and help them make the decision to get rid of it. We make sure the child knows to still be thankful for the thought behind the gift. And if the child is extremely disappointed, we have at times gotten something small to replace it that is acceptable.

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Thanks Suzy. The church already knows about "those legalistic Wilsons" because Jordan's family believes the same thing about pants on girls being wrong and they didn't dress their baby girls in them either. But some seem to forget it even now when giving their family clothes...and they've been in the church for years...and people know but still try to get them to change by giving their teenage daughter pants.

Katy-Anne

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Well if they know better..(I know its frustrating).still just accept it with a smile and go home and throw it out. They'll figure it out when they never see you wearing their gift. :)

By the time your kids are teens they will know for sure that pants are wrong and you probably won't even have to tell them to throw them out, they'll do it on their own. Might still be good to give them ten or fifteen bucks, if you have it, to go get a nice new skirt instead. :)

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My sister in law is good like that, if she gets them given to her she gets rid of them, she doesn't even try to get away with wearing them. It's because the conviction is her conviction too.

Yes that is what is frustrating...people that know better that think they can wear you down if they keep giving you those things.

Although when I throw them out I feel bad about the money wasted.

Katy-Anne

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That's a good idea... I guess alot of times we don't get receipts, or its just something really little...we don't face this alot, usually its just a trinket given to one of the kids from a friend, not really a *gift*.

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instead of throwing things out ,I have taken thngs back to the store and recieved either store credit or a discounted price and then let the kids spend it on approprite things.


We do that, and the stores where my wife shops have always been receptive to her, even without receipts. She tells them it was a gift. Personally, I think it's her charm and innocent smile that does it. :mrgreen:
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We do the same things as the other have posted. What is the worst, is that my mother-in-law knows about our standards and still gets my daughter pants because her girls wore pants growing up, why can't ours? We just tell her we don't want her wearing pants and let her know we will exchange it for something else.

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I have:
(1)returned gifts and got something more appropriate,
(2)got a refund and gave it to the kids
(3)put the thing away because I could not return it
(4)If it was pants, I have even remade them into little jumpers or skirts

Always, always, though I emphasize to the children that the others do not realize our convictions or they don't understand. And we are gracious and careful to give them thanks for the effort and time they invested in the gifts. This is so important....even if we have an idea that they are trying to push their own ideas on us. Remember, we cannot control what others do or think, but we certainly can control our actions and reactions and we'd best teach our children to do the same.

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Always, always, though I emphasize to the children that the others do not realize our convictions or they don't understand. And we are gracious and careful to give them thanks for the effort and time they invested in the gifts. This is so important....even if we have an idea that they are trying to push their own ideas on us. Remember, we cannot control what others do or think, but we certainly can control our actions and reactions and we'd best teach our children to do the same


Excellent point! I always make sure my kids know that the person meant well, and does not really understand that the item is something we shouldn't have...and that we should still be thankful for the person and not say anything about the gift being "bad"....
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What about people like my mother who still buys me stuff I won't wear because she thinks she knows best? She thinks she knows that I need a see-through blouse that is super tight to be sexy coz my sisters have one.

Katy-Anne

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Just take it to a store that sells that brand and get a store-credit or a refund and be done with it. It doesn't even have to come from the same chain of stores. E.G. If it came from Kohl's or Macy's but is a famous name brand and Bloomingdale's sells it I'd take it there, if that was the closest store. My wife and I have yet to be turned down.

When I get gifts I don't want or need, I convert it to money and thank the giver. That's all there is to it. :mrgreen:

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