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Praying for your son.........
Christ is the only one that can make a difference in your son's life. Jesus transformed our lives there is nothing too hard for him.


:amen:

This is why I pray the Lord will soften his heart and draw him to Christ. I know that I can only do so much, the rest is up to my son to accept what God is freely offering him.
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Math itself is not really an issue. The math he is doing now is just a simple book he does a few problems in during the weekdays as a refresher. This is math he already knows how to do. The math we use for our "regular" homeschooling is different and something he has done very well with.

The problem is, he doesn't like to think, the wants to rush through everything (even though that means he will have to do it over again) and he too often either fails to pay attention to the directions or what he's doing.

He can do the math. In fact, he's done so well at figuring out new math concepts as they have been introduced over the years that I've been well pleased, impressed and relieved!

It's hard to describe in writing. He doesn't like doing corrections so when it comes time to do his corrections, he just tries to rush through it without bothering to actually check and see what he did wrong.

This is something we are working through. On the rare occasions when he's on the right track, he can have his schoolwork (during our regular schooling season) done by noon or before. However, thus far anyway, he always falls right back into the lazy and rushing habits which means he eventually falls behind in his corrections.

He can do the work, he just gets it in his head he doesn't want to, doesn't think he should have to, so he won't put forth any effort.

We won't give up though. We continue to trust in the Lord and keep him, us and our situation before the Lord.

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For situations like this, it reminds me of what Jesus taught us about the Good Shepherd:::::

For a little lamb that was so unruly that it insisted on going astray, the good shepherd would actually break its foreleg. (yes, literally!!!!!!!!) Then He would bind it up, and carry that lamb against his breast wherever he would go. That little lamb could feel the constant beating of the shepherd's heart and with the continual care the good shepherd gave it, that lamb would learn that it was truly loved. When its leg was healed, it would never stray again.

John,

I'm not saying for you to break your son's leg, but continued interaction thru working alongside him on a continual basis at every and all opportunities will go a long way toward proving the love you have for him. It is for this reason that I say work right along beside your son as he does his math work and other studies, too.

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John, I am so sorry this is happening! I missed this thread when you first posted it. I will be praying for your son, and for wisdom for you and your wife.

As I was reading this, I thought of something. I don't know if it would help, but here's an idea.

I know that you are teaching him Bible, and the book you are having him read is great. But have you ever thought about teaching him about the devil? I mean, really looking, with just him and you, into the pride and the sin and the "my way" attitude of the devil may cause him to look at his sin in a different light. Just hearing that the devil is a roaring lion may not do anything - many times grounded Christians have a problem realizing that the devil is truly their enemy, let alone a teenager.

Once you do a thorough study on the devil, then go back to the garden and study when sin entered, how man was cast out, and the first prophecy of the Messiah...then go into the law (the 10 cmmandments) and look at each one, and discuss how you and he have both broken whichever ones (not meaning to tell him all about anything you have done in life, but just some things to let him see that you know you are a sinner, too) - then fast forward to the life of Christ - at the end...concentrate on the things that were done to Christ right before and during the crucifixion. Make sure the emphasis is on the fact that He did it for me (you, your son), because of our individual sin. Don't be the one who does all of the talking, let your son do some of the explaining, too, so that his mind is actively engaged. And don't preach! :lol

There's a verse in Proverbs that says, "My son, give me thine heart." He hasn't given you his heart yet, so he sees no need to do as you require. The above study may help in that direction, but also time together (just the two of you) is of major importance. You probably already spend time with him, but is there any way you can increase it? Fun times, working times, study times.

Whatever you do, at this point in time (and I know this hasn't been mentioned, but I just thought of it) DON'T put him in school while this is going on. Many people might think this would be the answer, but the only thing it would do is put him out of your control during the day, and in with other kids who may have some of the same or worse problems. Christian school or not, it could do some real harm until he gives first you and then Christ his heart.

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It's just possible that he is bored with the work that he is given. He might be way ahead of his grade level in math and needs a stronger challenge. I've seen kids in third grade need a college algebra book to keep them interested. It's just possible your son might be a child prodigy in disguise.

This is why I offered to design a curriculum that would fill the bill for him. He needs to be challenged. I can see it from what you've said.

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John, I am so sorry this is happening! I missed this thread when you first posted it. I will be praying for your son, and for wisdom for you and your wife.

As I was reading this, I thought of something. I don't know if it would help, but here's an idea.

I know that you are teaching him Bible, and the book you are having him read is great. But have you ever thought about teaching him about the devil? I mean, really looking, with just him and you, into the pride and the sin and the "my way" attitude of the devil may cause him to look at his sin in a different light. Just hearing that the devil is a roaring lion may not do anything - many times grounded Christians have a problem realizing that the devil is truly their enemy, let alone a teenager.

Once you do a thorough study on the devil, then go back to the garden and study when sin entered, how man was cast out, and the first prophecy of the Messiah...then go into the law (the 10 cmmandments) and look at each one, and discuss how you and he have both broken whichever ones (not meaning to tell him all about anything you have done in life, but just some things to let him see that you know you are a sinner, too) - then fast forward to the life of Christ - at the end...concentrate on the things that were done to Christ right before and during the crucifixion. Make sure the emphasis is on the fact that He did it for me (you, your son), because of our individual sin. Don't be the one who does all of the talking, let your son do some of the explaining, too, so that his mind is actively engaged. And don't preach! :lol

There's a verse in Proverbs that says, "My son, give me thine heart." He hasn't given you his heart yet, so he sees no need to do as you require. The above study may help in that direction, but also time together (just the two of you) is of major importance. You probably already spend time with him, but is there any way you can increase it? Fun times, working times, study times.

Whatever you do, at this point in time (and I know this hasn't been mentioned, but I just thought of it) DON'T put him in school while this is going on. Many people might think this would be the answer, but the only thing it would do is put him out of your control during the day, and in with other kids who may have some of the same or worse problems. Christian school or not, it could do some real harm until he gives first you and then Christ his heart.


This is a great idea LuAnne.

We've done much of this on separate occasions (meaning we have studied the devil, ten commandments, etc.) but not as a continuous study.

As he's got older I've been trying to do more things with him workwise in the yard, garden, car, house, etc.

However, you may have read about this in another thread, our odd neighbor across the street keeps accusing me of abusing my oldest son because he's out doing yard or garden work! The old guy has threatened to kill me twice so the last time I called the police on him. Things have been quiet since then, but my wife isn't sure if our son should be doing much outside now and our son is bothered somewhat too even though I've had several talks with him about that guy having something wrong with his thinking. Even so, a couple of weeks ago we scraped and prepared a section of the house to be painted together and he enjoyed that. I firmly believe it's a good thing for a father and son to work together and for him to learn about such, despite what my strange neighbor thinks.

Besides the Boyhood and Beyond book, we are also working on another book dealing with winning the inner battle.

I won't give up. I'll continue to try everything that could help and I'm prayerful that having him in church more and more will be of help too.
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It's just possible that he is bored with the work that he is given. He might be way ahead of his grade level in math and needs a stronger challenge. I've seen kids in third grade need a college algebra book to keep them interested. It's just possible your son might be a child prodigy in disguise.

This is why I offered to design a curriculum that would fill the bill for him. He needs to be challenged. I can see it from what you've said.


He just doesn't care for math that much and he hates to do corrections.
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You know, John, maybe there is a different approach you could take to this. Maybe you could have him use his math, rather than just review it - that way he sees how necessary it is to learn. Maybe have your wife give him some cooking lessons (my brother is almost 50 and has never been married...everyone needs to know how to cook!), using measurements, etc. Then, maybe if you could help him build something from scratch, where he would need to figure out how big things should be, how they go together, etc. Does that make sense?
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You know, John, maybe there is a different approach you could take to this. Maybe you could have him use his math, rather than just review it - that way he sees how necessary it is to learn. Maybe have your wife give him some cooking lessons (my brother is almost 50 and has never been married...everyone needs to know how to cook!), using measurements, etc. Then, maybe if you could help him build something from scratch, where he would need to figure out how big things should be, how they go together, etc. Does that make sense?


What a great idea, Lu Anne, :lol

Would ypou believe it I have an application that would fit the bill perfectly for John's son. I want to make Black raspberry butter for the time when friends come in from out of state. The instructions in the Sure Jell box call for 4 pints of berries, but I only have 3. The whole recipe has to be pro-rated to suit. The sure-jell packet has to be weighed on a precision scale (which I have) and divided out.

Whaddya think, John???? Is that a cool idea or what??? :Green
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He uses practical math in various things (Yes, that's a good idea!).

As I've mentioned, it's not just math. Whatever the subject, he typically enjoys doing it. However, after that, if there are corrections that can't be quickly and easily fixed, he doesn't want to bother with it. This is true for all subjects.

The new "school year" is about to begin so we will see how he does this year.

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He uses practical math in various things (Yes, that's a good idea!).

As I've mentioned, it's not just math. Whatever the subject, he typically enjoys doing it. However, after that, if there are corrections that can't be quickly and easily fixed, he doesn't want to bother with it. This is true for all subjects.

The new "school year" is about to begin so we will see how he does this year.


I see what you mean, John. This is a textbook case of defiance. I know how I handle defiance--->>> with the paddle from little on up. Some kids are very strong-willed. We parents have to be stronger. At the very same time we need to demonstrate that we love them so much we would lay down and die for them should the need necessitate it.
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I think you are right PE.

Even after the strict discipline he received yesterday for his infraction, he yet once again sneaked into my study, opened an as of yet new and unopened jar of peanuts, ate some and then put the jar back where it was. When confronted about it he lied.

I had a long talk with him, again, and he said he feels more comfortable lying than telling the truth.

Why did he sneak into my room when he knew the consequences? Because he wanted to.

Why did he steal the peanuts? Because he wanted to.

Why did he lie? Because he didn't want to tell me the truth...then he later stated he felt more comfortable lying than telling the truth (to which I replied that he wouldn't be feeling comfortable for long).


I've made sure he understands rules are for our own good. God and parents enforce rules for children (and ourselves, in God's case) because they are what's best for them (and us). We love him and want the best for him. I've made it a point to always make sure he knows the rules, knows what he did wrong and knows why he's being punished and corrected.

I've made sure he understands my biblical obligation to do as God commands. I example obeying God before him.

He's studied what is expected of him from Scripture and I've related our family rules to him in terms of how they stem from Scripture.

He has the most deep seated self-centered defiant streak in his heart I've ever personally encountered.

It makes it all the more difficult because he's typically not defiant or rebellious in an "in your face" manner, but rather in a sneaky and behind your back manner.

And, he's a very good liar! If not for knowing him so well, I would believe his lies. He lies good enough that his Mom most often can't tell if he's lying or not.

Whether it's his sin nature wanting to expand now that he's getting older and bigger or it's the devil hammering at him, I know for certain that only God can correct his heart and transform his mind. I will be in concerted, fervent prayer for him and for my wife and I's guidance in rightly dealing with this.

Through it all, I thank God we still have a few years before he's old enough to leave home and I pray he will surrender to the Lord before that day arrives.

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You betcha, John. I see what you mean.

I'm thinking this is what the Bible is referring to when it says that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.

Also, the blueness of a wound cleanseth away sin. I'm not saying we should leave black and blue marks in this day and age, but good strong, paddling will definitely bring about an attitude adjustment. You have to know how many swats are sufficient. Much hugging and loving are essential afterwards.

Amazingly enough, if I didn't know better, I'd think your son was my next door neighbor's boy where we used to live. Your description of your son and that boy are identical. His dad is totally against paddling.

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