Lost son

[John81]

Thank you Angie!

I remember being his age and indeed it was an odd time, especially in this modern world of ours. At that age one is stuck between being a boy and a man.

This past year I've been trying to give him some more "manly" resonsibilities and he seems to like this most of the time.

Of course, most of that involves outdoor stuff so it's not much help right now in the midst of winter, though he does like it when I send him out to scoop snow; but we've only had two real snows so far this winter.

He's doing well in so many areas, it just seems this one area has a real hold on him and it causes a great deal of trouble and stress. I do so wish he would turn to Christ. He knows it all in his head, it's just not in his heart. :(

[bibletotingunslinger]

Brother John, had one just like that, thought he would never come around.
One night(I think) he drags this maiden into the tent and knew her, and she bare him a daughter(Not legally married)....
But the day that baby was born, it's like a switch flipped. :? :? :? :? :?
Ten years of what you are going through.

I WILL PRAY FOR YOU and this boy.

[John81]

[quote="bibletotingunslinger"]
Brother John, had one just like that, thought he would never come around.
One night(I think) he drags this maiden into the tent and knew her, and she bare him a daughter(Not legally married)....
But the day that baby was born, it's like a switch flipped. :? :? :? :? :?
Ten years of what you are going through.

I WILL PRAY FOR YOU and this boy.
[/quote]

Thank you for sharing that my friend. I do hope he comes around before he makes me a grandpa though! :lol:

But yes, I get your point.

I'm certainly not going to give up on him and I do trust the Lord will bring him around in due time.

[Anon]

My firstborn also is a very sweet kid but seems to have no self control. He knows very well what he is supposed to do and not supposed to do but often it seems he just cannot help himself. He is saved but still struggles in this area.

I have heard that all through the Bible, God put a premium on firstborns, especially boys. My mom used to wonder if the devil works extra hard to get our firstborn boys because it seems like that is who God also wants.

[John81]

That's a good point Suzy. I'm a firstborn son and I know shortly after I was saved the devil seemed to hit me at my weakest points full force!

Before I was saved, I would sometimes read my Bible (which was and RSV) and I never really understood it or got anything out of it. Some time later I saw one of those Chick tracts which showed how the devil will blind us to Gods word and do all he can to keep us from His Word and that kind of caught my attention.

[chev1958]

Well, John, you know my story with my oldest daughter. I understand what you're going through, and will be praying for you.

Mitch

[Guest Guest]

Hi John

I hope this doesn't come across as offensive, it is just my view on it. I'm sorry your father is in bad shape. The Bible tells us to honour our parents.

But as a father, the Bible also says that your first priority is your immediate family. That means your wife and children. Your children should be on a higher priority list than your father, simply because that is the Biblical way. It is important that your sons spiritual needs are catered to.

Don't mean anything offensive, you are my friend...that is my take on it...

Katy-Anne

[IM4given]

[quote="John81"]
I truly appreciate all of your words and your prayers. Everything that has been said, I will consider, think over and pray about.

The thing is, he isn't really "rebellious" in any way that I would think of the term. Also, he's been this way since he was about three years old; this isn't something that's just come about.

We do Bible studies and readings. In his homeschooling he begins each "school day" with a Bible lesson. On weekends we go over the news from a biblical perspective.

It's hard to explain. He's not a "bad kid." It just seems that something within him is very self-centered when it comes to something he decides he wants to do even if he knows it's against family or Gods rules. It's like when he gets an impulse to do something that's wrong, he just goes ahead and does it with little or no thought.

I know beyond a doubt there is nothing I can do in my own power. My reliance is upon God and his transforming power.

We are living here because this is where our family is and where we are needed. We moved here because my Mom was in a bad way with cancer and her and Dad needed us. At the time, there was a newly planted Baptist church in town. Unfortunately, nobody else in town took any interest in the church and they closed it down.

Anyway, Mom has passed away but Dad is in poor shape and needs a great deal of help which he wouldn't get if I were not here.

As well, everything we have is tied up in this house/property and things are so tight financially that moving wouldn't be possible even if we were wanting to.

Most importantly, in none of my alone times with the Lord have I ever got the slightest sense that moving is something the Lord wants us to do.

I will continue to follow Scripture, pray and trust the Lord to work this out.

I really do appreciate being able to talk with y'all about this. Other than my wife, there is no one else I can talk with about this so just sharing this with y'all and reading your responses has been a burden lifter and a bit of sunshine in this dark episode.

Thank you!!!
[/quote]

John, your children are watching you and learning from you and your wife. Your actions speak louder than words. Taking care of your parents is as important to the education of your children as anything else that you do in their lives. You have been there for your parents when they need you the most at the end stages of life, just like they were there for you when you needed them the most at the beginning stages of your life.

You may not think that your children are "getting it" now, but time will tell. I am not only speaking for your son, but for your other children as well. They are going to look back on their growing up years and remember all of the things that you did for them,with them, and sometimes to them. It is important to be firm, to be consistent, and to be fair and honest with them, especially if you expect them to be fair and honest with you.

Parenting is not for wimps - it takes a good amount of time and patience to deal with children and to keep a family stable and together.

I will be continuing in prayer for you and your family.

[John81]

Katy-Anne you know nothing you say will offend me and I appreciate your input.

Mitch, I appreciate your prayers and I know that from your pesonal experience you know well how to pray for such a situation.

Janet, thank you for your thoughts.

Whether you (all who have replied) can tell or realize it, y'all have been a very big help already.

THANK YOU!!!

[lettheredeemedsayso]

I am not any kind of authority on this.

Christ did was an example for the believer and I believe that the best thing for you to do is ask Christ to guide you in this matter. Pray without ceasing for him.
Kids have to see Jesus in our lives or all the teaching and preaching we do is futile.
There are some tremendous messages I encourage you to listen to. they will not only encourage you as a parent but also possible encourage your son.

They are messages by Ryan Dobson. He is Dr Dobson's son.
you will find them at www.family.org

The titles are:
Be Tolerant
2 Die 4 and 2 live 4
Stand

Satan is after our children and grandchildren we must keep them before the Lord.

I most certainly will pray for your son.

[John81]

Thank you. I will follow up on that website.

[Sojourner]

I feel your pain, brother. I have a son, now almost 27, who is far from God, even though we tried to raise him right. He was always a good boy, tho, and never made any waves. But when he turned 20, he just walked away from everything he knew to be right and moved in with a woman who was divorced, had 5 kids by 4 different men, and was 12 years his senior. They married 4 years later, but I have serious doubts that he is truly saved. I have not even seen my son in 6½ years, tho we do talk on the phone occasionally. My wife left me when my son was 6, so there were differing values being taught him between his mother & me. We shared custody and being shuffled back & forth was tough on our kids, so at least your kids are in a secure & godly situation. I wish I had some answers, but I do believe in prayer and I do believe one day my son will come to his senses. You can't make your children believe.....that's God's job. Just continue to be faithful & consistent, and bathe it all in much prayer. As long as he lives under your roof, tho, be firm with loving discipline.

You & your family will be in my prayers.

[Larry02]

Will be praying for you and your son.

[matie-k]

I'm sure you have worked to do this, but I think it's important to teach and stress to our children that christianity is not just a list of do's and don'ts, etc... it's a relationship with a loving but also just God. He sounds like a good kid who knows all the right things to do and say, but does he have a personal relationship with his Father? I'm not meaning "is he saved", but is there that relationship that causes heartache when the relationship is hurt...? Just a thought.

[John81]

Sadly, the only thing that bothers our oldest son when he gets in trouble is the fact he got caught. He never shows any remorse at all for what he has done wrong, only for the fact he got in trouble for doing what he wanted to do.

Our youngest son (9) is very different in this regard. He becomes very upset that he did wrong and he clearly dislikes it when he upsets Mom or Dad in this way.

A couple weeks ago something happened while I was out of the house. While trying to get to the bottom of it my youngest son burst into tears (real tears) and said, "I'm sorry Dad! It's all my fault!" and he came across the room and grabbed me in a big hug.