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Hand holding....


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Young people shouldn't be engaged in dating if they aren't looking to marry. Play it safe- the only person they should hold hands with is mommy or daddy when they walk across the street :lol.

I think a safe bet is this:

Assume your boyfriend/girlfriend is married (not to you) and their spouse is standing right next to you. Don't do anything that would get you a black eye or a kicked shin. :hide

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I think hand-holding or any kind of touching should be left until after marriage. It very easily can lead to more, especially for a guy.

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
(I Corinthians 7:1)

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I think hand-holding or any kind of touching should be left until after marriage. It very easily can lead to more, especially for a guy.

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
(I Corinthians 7:1)


In this case, the girl was/is the one who initiates.
When he first started courting her, I saw them holding hands. I told them that they could not do it and she frankly answered me back "my mom said we could". I was taken aback. I said nothing for awhile, then answered "But we're not going to do it". They stopped holding hands. But that tells me that she had the intention and asked her mother. (Nobody asked me). My son is(was) too bashful AND respectful. I know he did not start it. But he didn't try to stop it either. A short time later, I observed her laying her head over on him in my living room. I called my son aside and told him not to let her do that. She stopped....for awhile. Again, she was laying over against him on my couch. Since then I have had to get on her for her lounging. We were riding in the car, I happened to look in the rearview mirror to see her head resting on his shoulder. I had been discrete before......But it was then that I openly rebuked her in front of the whole family. I'm sorry but it was the last straw. She is disrespectful of me....now my son is. They have not been allowed anywhere without a chaperone, from day one, but she keeps trying to get around that. He has bought her a ring and they plan to be married this fall. Now he wants to move out of the house on his own even though he promised to finish school first. I explained to him that he was NOT to leave home until he was married. Those are the rules. A couple of nights ago, as I was coming down the stairs, and from the corner of my eye there was a quick "scrambling of legs" on the couch. She doesn't usually move that fast.

I am not comfortable with this situation at all. I have talked with him several times and had my pastor do the same. There are few more factors involved which I won't go into and I fear that there may be more outside influences. The girl comes from a broken home. We alll thought she was sweet at first. But when she saw that I was not passive and expected some rules to be obeyed, she became sullen and defiant. She sulls and rolls her eyes at me, treats me like I'm the old fogey idiot.

But I can't make myself let them hold hands, or for her to lay on him, and even though he is 18, he will not leave home without being married unless it is against my wishes.

I believe with all my heart that my son is saved, but he is not seeing too clearly now. I have told him what the Bible says. "make no provision for the flesh" "honor thy father and mother" "children obey your parents"

My son has always been respectful of me, has NEVER talked back to me until now. Please help me pray about this.
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You can't tell an 18 year old man what to do with his girlfriend and expect him to respect you. You shouldn't be so hung up about the hand holding thing. And no matter what your "rules" are, your son is an adult and can move out of home if he pleases, whether it goes against your "rules" or not. It's not even fair to lay that rule down on an 18 year old to pressure him. No wonder he wants to leave.

Katy-Anne

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Also, I don't think you had any right whatsoever to tell the young girl not to hold you son's hand. If he didn't want it, that's for HIM to tell her, not you. Her mother said she could do it, and it's HER mother she has to obey, she is not commanded to obey you. How about trying to let your son be an adult, and take responsibility for his own actions. I can't believe people still get upset when people in love hold hands...it's natural.

Katy-Anne

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I can't believe people still get upset when people in love hold hands...it's natural.

Katy-Anne


You are correct, Katy-Anne. It is very natural, but we are called to better and higher things. Let's look at what God says about what is natural:::


<< 1 Corinthians 2 >>

14 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
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KatyAnne you have no right to tell this dad who has raised a child for 18 years old that he has no right to ask him not to do this, especially when he has Bible to back it up! He has every right to ask that they not hold hands and that they not disrespect his wishes under HIS roof and in HIS car! I don't care if the boy is 30--if he is in his dad's house and his dad's car, and unmarried, and his dad doesn't want him touching a girl, he shouldn't do it.

And KatyAnne, sex is natural too but God says don't DO IT unless you are married. "It is good for a man not to touch a woman" is pretty plain. I realize many good people believe its ok to hold hands. But other good people feel that this verse means they should wait until marriage. I don't appreciate your attitude towards this dad trying to do right. My heart hurts for him because his son is being disrespectful now when he hadn't before. I realize as kids grow to get independent this may happen, but I know how hard it is (and my kids are still young) to see your kids change and worry about how they are going to turn out.

Someday KatyAnne you may understand after you have worked and prayed for 18 years to raise a child. Until then, try a little more respect for these people who HAVE done this and have not given up just because the law says their kid is an adult.

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KatyAnne you have no right to tell this dad who has raised a child for 18 years old that he has no right to ask him not to do this, especially when he has Bible to back it up! He has every right to ask that they not hold hands and that they not disrespect his wishes under HIS roof and in HIS car! I don't care if the boy is 30--if he is in his dad's house and his dad's car, and unmarried, and his dad doesn't want him touching a girl, he shouldn't do it.

And KatyAnne, sex is natural too but God says don't DO IT unless you are married. "It is good for a man not to touch a woman" is pretty plain. I realize many good people believe its ok to hold hands. But other good people feel that this verse means they should wait until marriage. I don't appreciate your attitude towards this dad trying to do right. My heart hurts for him because his son is being disrespectful now when he hadn't before. I realize as kids grow to get independent this may happen, but I know how hard it is (and my kids are still young) to see your kids change and worry about how they are going to turn out.

Someday KatyAnne you may understand after you have worked and prayed for 18 years to raise a child. Until then, try a little more respect for these people who HAVE done this and have not given up just because the law says their kid is an adult.


I'm gonna agree with you here. I personally have no problem with handholding or such, at least with couples who are a bit older in age, and don't have all those hormones going that teens have. Eighteen year old kids shouldn't be holding hands, because they're not even close to being mature, and their hormones are already overactive enough. As far as I'm concerned, it depends on the age and maturity of the couple, and how long they've been together. But in any case, if one set of parents says "not in my house or my car," it shouldn't be done. Respect your parents.
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As far as I know, there are no escape clauses in these three verses:

Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
(Ephesians 6:2)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
(Ephesians 6:1)
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
(I Corinthians 7:1)

If the parents said it, we should honor it. If the Bible said it, we should obey it. What Christian should care what is natural?

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As far as I know, there are no escape clauses in these three verses:

Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
(Ephesians 6:2)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
(Ephesians 6:1)
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
(I Corinthians 7:1)

If the parents said it, we should honor it. If the Bible said it, we should obey it. What Christian should care what is natural?


Don't take 1 Corinthians 7:1 out of the context of the entire passage. He's dealing with sexual immorality and marriage, not the mere act of touching or holding hands. The word "touch" there implies sexual contact. Not mere physical contact.
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