my testimony

[djp_mom04]

I was not born in a church going family in Northern California. My mom took us every once in a while when my brother and I were little. Then my Great Aunt took me to church (not a baptist...not many of my churches I went to were) when I was about 12. While going with her and my cousins I was "saved". I had no idea what that meant....I did know I believed in God and Jesus, but did not know what it was to be saved or how to be saved. I repeated some sort of prayer... Shortly after, I stopped going (Bunches of divorces in my family...my parents started it, then my Dad's 2 sisters, his dad and my step grandma, and my Grandpa's brother and his wife (the one that took me to church) and I think that sums it all up....all but my dad's youngest uncle and his wife divorced)

My dad started dating someone from his past, who had 2 daughters. She was in drugs, though I didn't know it at the time. In high school my brother and younger step sister started smoking pot and made me try it a couple times, and I started drinking a little.

My mom met a man online from Arkansas and we came out to visit. I went to a Southern Baptist church with one of my step brothers. Did not like it at all. We moved to Arkansas the next month. My brother stayed with my dad in California. I thought I was a good kid. But when I moved to the south I felt a void. Part of it was being 17 and without my dad...who really hadn't been there for me, esp. after his wife kicked me out the year before. I met one of my other step brother's friends and we started dating. He was a couple years older. We started having sex and After that I really started trying to fill that void by guys.
I was going to a "reorganized mormon" church with my BF (we stay in touch a little) but I knew it wasn't right.

In college I started drinking a lot more, joined a sorority and did a lot of things I am completely ashamed of now, such as taking my clothes off in front of an audience for a "competition" for my BF's frat (new BF), partying, and even accepted money for sex. That was my lowest point in my life. I had sex with many many guys...All trying to fill a void.

Then I met my first husband. We got married against God's wishes ( I know this because I prayed if it rained on our wedding day I wouldn't get married.... needless to say it POURED...but I got married anyways) But he did lead me to the Lord. We didn't go to church at the time. And I was pregnant and so very depressed because of my past. One day driving down the road we happened to be talking about God and being saved. He told me to be saved you have to ask Jesus to come into your heart. When he said that I knew that was the answer my void. For a week straight I asked for forgiveness of my sins and asked Jesus to come into my heart. I felt so much weight lifted it was wonderful.

Though it didn't last long (the feeling) because my husband was not very good towards me I went back into depression mode. I got so depressed that I was going to leave and abort my baby just so I wouldn't have any ties to him. God saved me from doing that. It still hurts to think that I even considered it. But later I did leave with my beautiful son when he was just over 2 months old.

We had started going to a baptist church he had gone to when he was little. his pastor's son was pastoring (when he was a kid he looked up to the pastor's son)
Because of my separation I was afraid to go back to that church because it was his childhood church. but my pastor encouraged me to come, and so I brought my mom and step dad with me. I was later baptized, and a couple weeks my mom was too (she was saved when she was young, but in the church of the Nazarene she was baptized) and he stopped coming, which my church was thrilled about because they did not like him and didn't agree with him bringing another girl to church a week after we separated.

But I met my wonderful husband and his best friend went to an IFBC and was going to school to be a preacher...He is currently our part time assoc. pastor. But a year ago they started the Reformers Unanimous program. I had been praying for a way to learn to study and walk closer to God because we were having a rough year with our first year of marriage and we were gaining custody of my bonus daughter and his place of employment went out of business and he lost his job. But with God's grace we pulled through, my husband has just started a good job (even though he works evenings) (he had been working most of the time after he lost his job) and we gained custody of my bonus daughter and we made it through our first year of marriage.
I am now mentoring the teen girls at my church and I teach Wednesday nights 4-12 year olds. I am enjoying being a Christian and having the most fun I have ever had, and I have peace in my heart and the void is filled.

[John81]

Thank you for sharing your testimony. I know a few women who have had very similar experiences and it's such a blessing that our God is so loving that no matter what ones past was like, and no matter how awful and rotten we may feel about our past, He sent Christ for us and He is ever waiting with open arms for us to come to Him.

Praise God for the deliverance and true acceptance that only He can provide!

[Larry02]

Amen