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How To Wrap A Present With A Cat


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Once again, not really a "homeschool" post, but for everyone I offended with the letters from santa post, here's a laugh to make up for it! :)

HOW TO WRAP A CHRISTMAS PRESENT WITH A CAT

1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is
contained and shut door.

3. Open door and remove cat from closet.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping
paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape,
ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.

7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table to
enable wrappingstrategy to be formed.

8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that
has been in the drawer since last visit and collect
string.

9. Remove present from bag.

10. Remove cat from bag.

11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box,
replace present.

12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

13. Try to smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath
and remove cat.

14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line
straight.

15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the
scissors and tore the paper.

16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat
in the bag thepresents came in.

17. Place present on paper.

18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder
why edges don't reach.Realize cat is between present
and paper. Remove cat.

19. Place object on paper to hold in place while
tearing transparent sticky tape.

20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove
transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail
scissors.

21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as
neat as possible.

22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in
order to retrieve ribbon

23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a
two-directional turn.

24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn
due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.

25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of
paper.

26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save
time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper.
Retrieve old cardboard box that is the rightsize for
sheet of paper.

27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

28. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and
head for locked room.

30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and
start to re-lay out paper andmaterials.

31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside
door, close andre-lock.

32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary
(until you can hear cat from outside door).

33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be
difficult in the small area of the toilet, but do your
best).

34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door,
go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for
sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't
got any left because cat helped with
this last year as well.

35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on
toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look
presentable.

36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very
carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon
and decorate with bows to hide
worst areas.

37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork,
congratulating yourself oncompleting a difficult job.

38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make a drink and
put out cat food.

39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to
obvious conclusion.

40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

41. Go to store and buy a gift bag.

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I'd take that cat to John's house to help him with his neighbor's shrew problem!!! (much better in the cat's eyes than wrapping paper!)


Maybe. I locked one of the cats in the garage last night after I sneeked out to bring in some Christmas presents. I wasn't going to stand around in the cold trying to convince the cat to come on out. He was ready to come out when I opened the garage door for him this morning. :Green
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