Members tabsmom Posted December 6, 2007 Members Share Posted December 6, 2007 Once again, not really a "homeschool" post, but for everyone I offended with the letters from santa post, here's a laugh to make up for it! HOW TO WRAP A CHRISTMAS PRESENT WITH A CAT 1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present. 2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained and shut door. 3. Open door and remove cat from closet. 4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper. 5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard. 6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc. 7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table to enable wrappingstrategy to be formed. 8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string. 9. Remove present from bag. 10. Remove cat from bag. 11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present. 12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size. 13. Try to smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat. 14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight. 15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors and tore the paper. 16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag thepresents came in. 17. Place present on paper. 18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach.Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat. 19. Place object on paper to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape. 20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors. 21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible. 22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon 23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn. 24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase. 25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper. 26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the rightsize for sheet of paper. 27. Put present in box, and tie down with string. 28. Remove string, open box and remove cat. 29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room. 30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to re-lay out paper andmaterials. 31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close andre-lock. 32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear cat from outside door). 33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small area of the toilet, but do your best). 34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door, go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last year as well. 35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable. 36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas. 37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself oncompleting a difficult job. 38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make a drink and put out cat food. 39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion. 40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat. 41. Go to store and buy a gift bag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chev1958 Posted December 6, 2007 Members Share Posted December 6, 2007 42. Internet search for cat recipe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators HappyChristian Posted December 6, 2007 Administrators Share Posted December 6, 2007 :lol: Obviously written by a cat owner! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LAF Posted December 6, 2007 Members Share Posted December 6, 2007 :lol :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tabsmom Posted December 6, 2007 Author Members Share Posted December 6, 2007 42. Internet search for cat recipe. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John81 Posted December 6, 2007 Members Share Posted December 6, 2007 Yep! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members IM4given Posted December 6, 2007 Members Share Posted December 6, 2007 :nutty :nutty :nutty :nutty BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!! I am laughing so hard I have to wipe the tears away!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bzmomo7 Posted December 6, 2007 Members Share Posted December 6, 2007 I'd take that cat to John's house to help him with his neighbor's shrew problem!!! (much better in the cat's eyes than wrapping paper!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John81 Posted December 6, 2007 Members Share Posted December 6, 2007 I'd take that cat to John's house to help him with his neighbor's shrew problem!!! (much better in the cat's eyes than wrapping paper!) Maybe. I locked one of the cats in the garage last night after I sneeked out to bring in some Christmas presents. I wasn't going to stand around in the cold trying to convince the cat to come on out. He was ready to come out when I opened the garage door for him this morning. :Green Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bzmomo7 Posted December 6, 2007 Members Share Posted December 6, 2007 You know, the quicker your kitty gets that shrew population taken care of--the sooner you won't have any more on your porch! (you know, you should send your neighbor a bill for your pest control services) :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John81 Posted December 6, 2007 Members Share Posted December 6, 2007 If my neighbors would rake their leaves and not have so many areas in their yard for the shrews and mice to try and live our cats could take a break! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Psalms18_28 Posted December 7, 2007 Members Share Posted December 7, 2007 Obviously written by a cat owner! Obviously written by a owner with multiple cats... I have one cat and she doesn't cause me that much trouble except maybe here or there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SimplyComplex Posted December 7, 2007 Members Share Posted December 7, 2007 LOL, got to love cats... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DaveW Posted December 14, 2007 Members Share Posted December 14, 2007 I love cats. I just couldn't eat a whole one by myself! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators HappyChristian Posted December 14, 2007 Administrators Share Posted December 14, 2007 I love cats. I just couldn't eat a whole one by myself! Hmmmmm, and my cat disappeared about a month ago...all this time I assumed a coyote got it!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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