MARRIAGE

[kevinmiller]

I didn't know that debutantes existed in America so no, I've never met one. People in the family that have money were self-made rather than being born into that society. Even the "rich" people that I have known of, I've never heard of them doing debutante stuff. It's much easier being middle or upper-middle class. I get frustrated every time one of my students says that we are rich because of the size of our house. :faint:

[LAF]

I was just saying that myself along with a whole group of women of another group I belong to ,are not able to have children .We had no idea of this when we got married ,and there was no history to look back upon .These ladies I know and sometimes their husbands have medical problems .They had no idea of this when they married it was only after years or sometimes months of not getting pregnant that they had to go to doctors and have tests run .So sometimes you really do not know they have these problems .
It actually takes strong support and love to deal with these kinds of things .Some have it and some have not found it .

[Guest Guest]

kevinmiller: I assure you the people involved put a lot less emphasis on money than you suspect. And of course the majority of wealthy people are not members of such a group because its not something you can't buy your way into. As I have said earlier, there is a difference from being wealthy and being well bread. The guy that has made millions on some tech stock in the past decade will be excluded while the pauper whose parents whom are basically penniless and could barely afford to send him to school, is included. It's not based on money, but on blood. The pauper is included because at some point in the past his family proved themselves to be proper and he inevitably inherited their genes. And please remember, I am generalizing a lot of this. There are no "absolutes" and each person makes their own decision, even if contrary to custom, a lot more than I believe you are picturing.

[godsgurlie_077]

I was just reading this topic and found it very interesting. I agree with Kitagirl and what she said. You shouldn't have to worry about what other's think about who you marry especially if it is God's choice. God knows you better then your family he knew everything before they did. He knows your future and if it is his will for you to marry outside your group then it will happen. Nothing is more important then being in his will and that is something I have been learning myself. Just keep praying and seeking God in this area. I also saw a post where some one was talking about a book about an ugly person and how she ended up marrying some one who was attractive. I believe that the inside is what makes someone attractive. If I had the choice to marry someone who is ugly and has a heart for God, over the most attractive guy in the world that doesn't believe. I would have to say I would rather marry a person who has no looks and a heart for God. God makes all things beautiful and in his image. As long as you go by what God wants you will be happy. There maybe hard times ahead in following God but they won't be that hard for God because all things are possible with him. That is something that makes him mighty he is always there in hard times and I hope and pray that you remember that. Isaiah 41vs13 For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

[Psalms18_28]

I wonder if our last name is the reason we were able to get our son in a prep school while alot of other kids were rejected. (the choice of my husband and his dad)

[Guest Guest]

Psalm: If anything like my situation, I'm sure it had tons to do with it. My grandfather, father, brother, and myself all prepped at the same school. At this point, there is no question regarding admissions. The family has shown through multiple generations that it produces the type of man that can succeed at the school. In fact, for the most part, my closes friends are the guys that I prepped with, not the guys I went to college with. We all live continue to live in the same areas and do business with one another. I'm prone to ask someone where they prepped before asking where they went to college.

[joyfulpraise93]

Hmm it seems to me colleges shouldn't accept people just because of their family background. Just because your from an affluent family doesn't mean you are intelligent and can excel.

Well, it's off to work for me, everyone. Interesting thread, I must say.

[Guest Guest]

Colleges should not, but only for the need of having a diverse and broad student spectrum. However, I don't see any problem with family being a consideration for prep school admittance. I a lot of circumstances, the school was founded by a handful of families to begin with, so its only fair that their decendants can continue to attend.

And again, it has noting to do with affluence. If you come from a poor family, the school has financial aid available. One of my best friends was allowed to board for free (although he still had tuition) after his family lost a lot of money in a real estate venture. The schools don't forget their own.

[Psalms18_28]

probably so, my husband's family are well known somewhat.


(edited: removed since it is mostly rambling)

[Guest Guest]

Since many of you seem so interested in societal life and are utterly unaware of it, I tried finding some online information for you. However, the best I could find was wikipedia (search term: debutante). I didn't read the entire article but it seems to give a fairly decent general overview. If you do check it out, please remember that all of these societies are different. I would never refer to myself or my group as "aristocratic," as the article does.

[Guest Guest]

No offense, but this isn't the right time for you to be asking this question. With your stated beliefs(not just this area) there is no way you are going to marry in the perfect will of God right now. You need to get saved or get right with God first. Period. Anything else you do on a spiritual level is going to be a mess and long term cause you a great deal of heartache. Now I know this isn't an easy thing to hear and I won't be exactly shocked if it makes you mad and you don't listen. However it is the truth, and it is what you need to hear at this point. I understand this could easily be taken as offensive, but I want you to know it isn't meant that way.

Somebody needed to say it though. :hide

[Guest Guest]

Hmm it seems to me colleges shouldn't accept people just because of their family background. Just because your from an affluent family doesn't mean you are intelligent and can excel.

Well, it's off to work for me, everyone. Interesting thread, I must say.

I agree. And just because someone is born into a family of high-school dropouts, it doesn't mean he can't be more intelligent than the child born in an affluent family.

[Guest Guest]

No offense, but this isn't the right time for you to be asking this question. With your stated beliefs(not just this area) there is no way you are going to marry in the perfect will of God right now. You need to get saved or get right with God first. Period. Anything else you do on a spiritual level is going to be a mess and long term cause you a great deal of heartache. Now I know this isn't an easy thing to hear and I won't be exactly shocked if it makes you mad and you don't listen. However it is the truth, and it is what you need to hear at this point. I understand this could easily be taken as offensive, but I want you to know it isn't meant that way.

Somebody needed to say it though. :hide

Umm... how did this have anything to do with the topic? It's personal... it should've been a PM. :smile

[John81]

Umm... how did this have anything to do with the topic? It's personal... it should've been a PM. :smile

It has a great deal to do with the topic. No one is ready to be married if they are not saved. And, if one isn't saved, that means they are out of the will of God. If they are out of the will of God, and they are not saved, not that can hardly marry right and their spouse will have married outside the will of God as well.

So, the issue of whether one is saved or not is very valid when it comes to the topic of marriage.

[Guest Guest]

It has a great deal to do with the topic. No one is ready to be married if they are not saved. And, if one isn't saved, that means they are out of the will of God. If they are out of the will of God, and they are not saved, not that can hardly marry right and their spouse will have married outside the will of God as well.

So, the issue of whether one is saved or not is very valid when it comes to the topic of marriage.

Well, I was aiming that at the personal questioning of someone's salvation, not that salvation has nothing to do with the topic. (and I don't know much about what jonbaptiste believes because I haven't seen a lot of his posts... so I'm not necessarily defending him... just making a general statement)

I think it would be much more effective to confront someone on whether or not he is saved in a private conversation, rather than publicly announcing that he's probably not saved.