MARRIAGE

[Psalms18_28]

So what do you prefer?

Do you want to marry someone outside?

[HappyChristian]

Something that struck me as I've been reading the postings...jon, be careful. I have nothing against the practice you and your society have, but a word of warning: watch out for arrogance and pride. I'm not saying that arrogance and pride are present now, but they have the possibility of taking firm root in groups like this (you know, the idea that we're better than anyone else...). As I said, I'm not insinuating that this has happened, but it could if you aren't careful - and it could happen without anyone being aware of it.

You mentioned the example of the doctor...couldn't you introduce someone into your group? If you found out her background, etc., and it matched up with the requirements, wouldn't it be possible that the society would accept her?

[Anon]

Yes, be careful of "good stock/breeding" ideas... many many intelligent and marvelous people came from "poor stock"...many worthless bums are the result of "good stock". Plus, several generations of inbreeding in a smaller group creates actually more genetic problems. For instance AKC dogs have more specified health problems than mutts, its a proven fact.

When you say "perfectly suitable for reproducing" that sounds scarily like Nazi Germany. In a way I see what you are saying...you want to make sure there's not alot of genetic problems and etc. On the other hand, be sure you are not putting undue priority on that. Many people in the Bible had problems... God LIKES it when we have problems because it makes us rely on HIM. Paul had terrible physical problems but was one of the greatest men of God ever.

[Guest Guest]

I can see how it sounds arrogant. But it really is more like assurance, as in, I know this girl, I know her family. I'm not arrogant in that I believe she is better than others, I'm assured of her likelihood of being a good healthy proper wife and mother. I of course prefer to keep my families traditions. My problem is that I have been faced with the fact that there are not that many girsl in my age group to choose from and I am actually having to consider marrying an outsider.

[Psalms18_28]

Don't forget the Amish people.. they develop problems from marrying people within their society.

[HappyChristian]

I can see how it sounds arrogant. But it really is more like assurance' date=' as in, I know this girl, I know her family. I'm not arrogant in that I believe she is better than others, I'm assured of her likelihood of being a good healthy proper wife and mother. I of course prefer to keep my families traditions. My problem is that I have been faced with the fact that there are not that many girsl in my age group to choose from and I am actually having to consider marrying an outsider.[/quote']


Could you approach your parents with your dilemma and let them know you want to keep the tradition but see a problem? Again - would it be possible to find out what you can about the family of the girl you are interested in and introduce her into the society?

[LAF]

Also you can't always know about health just with asking .I know some people who didn't think they had any health problems and then later on they found out they had some .

[Psalms18_28]

BTW, don't you think unintelligent people deserve intelligent children? it wouldn't be fair that they have to keep reproducing children with learning problems or health problems because poeple with good genes tend to stay within their society.

I have genetic deafness, if I married someone like me, I would have mostly deaf children.. But marrying my husband helps dilute the deaf gene. (of course that's not the reason I married him. I love him is the reason I married him)

[Guest Guest]

I am presently not interested in anyone, just looking down the road. Oh, its possible to bring outsiders in, just very hard. There are, like in any harmonized group, assinine and petty cliques. I know that girls that are formally presented tend to exclude those who are not. Most people not from such a society are taken aback by it. They don't understand it, and thus don't assimilate to it very well.

Psalm: I'm not going to make any judgments about other's reproduction choices, but I do know that if I had a dibilitating genetic disease, I probably would have to think very hard about whether or not to have children.

LAF: That's the point. You don't find out health history by asking, you know each other's health history though years of familial interaction. My grandparents are close friends with all my friend's grandparents. We have known each other multiple generations. If someone is prone to genetic disease, we generally know.

[Guest Guest]

Psalm: Deafness and blindness aren't a factor, at least as far as I am concnerned. Most people are more worried about things such as hemophilia, parkinsons, alheimerzs, and other more dibilitating conditions.

[Anon]

So if someone comes down with a genetic disease in a society, are they still included?

I guess I'm just trying to understand how it works.

[joyfulpraise93]

The reason you marry someone is because you love them and they are the one God has for you. Not because of whether or not they have a good health history. I'm just sitting here imagining finding out Samer's family has a history of Alzheimer's and telling him "Sorry I can't marry you. You might get Alzheimer's or give it to our children." That's just silly. The best thing for a young Christian to do (regardless of whether they live in such a 'society' as you do or not) is to get down on their knees every day and ask for God's will. Regardless of what anyone else thinks about who they marry. Is it just me, or does this whole societal marriage thing sound a little weird and fishy? Not being critical or anything, but it just sounds strange.

[Psalms18_28]

Psalm: I'm not going to make any judgments about other's reproduction choices, but I do know that if I had a dibilitating genetic disease, I probably would have to think very hard about whether or not to have children.

I can understand that but you know, can't live your whole life living in fear. It's up to you what you want to do. Just make sure it is someone who you really can live the rest of your life with.

It's not easy to tell yourself not to have kids.

[Guest Guest]

You are of course not excluded for having a disease. Being able to select a spouse from a specific group is only one benefit. The people are still united by their common interest. A person who comes down with a dibiliating disease is still a member of the country club (to use our previous example), it just that person's child may not be the most attractive choice as a mate for somone. It works the same in everyone's life, societal or not. If you know that your children may have a liklihood of being born with a deadly disease, you'll at least think about it before reproducing with someone.

[Psalms18_28]

You are of course not excluded for having a disease. Being able to select a spouse from a specific group is only one benefit. The people are still united by their common interest. A person who comes down with a dibiliating disease is still a member of the country club (to use our previous example)' date=' it just that person's child may not be the most attractive choice as a mate for somone. It works the same in everyone's life, societal or not. If you know that your children may have a liklihood of being born with a deadly disease, you'll at least think about it before reproducing with someone.[/quote']

then why worry? if alot of people outside of societal is the same way.

A person with a dibilating disease would mean the whole family is the carrier of the gene. So you would just have to avoid the whole family, and not just that child.