Raising godly children

[Psalms18_28]

I still don't affect their decision. the parents may be responsible for their anger and rebellious against them (the parents), but it is still their decision to make as far as accepting Christ. Most kids don't know how lucky they have when a Parents set rules, because there are kids out there whose parent that just don't care what happen to them. He did want he could according to the bible, and if he didn't stir up anger against his kids, abused them, etc. It means he did the best he could.

Romans 1:20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:

[Guest Guest]

Of course it affects their decision, how could it not? They can't hold their parents responsible for them making the wrong choices, but it most definetly DOES has an effect.

[Psalms18_28]

So does your next door neighbor telling your kids how awful and hateful you are for being too strict... even if you did pour out your love for your kids.

Every parents make mistakes. Some yell too much, some ignore, some drinks, some have too many rules, some are not affectionate as others, some don't know how to communicate with their kids well. None (the kids) are without excuse. The only thing is, you want to prevent them FROM making excuses not to accept Christ. Like I will not teach Santa to prevent my son from making excuse that he believed in Santa, why should he believe God. By doing this, He can't use that excuse. But if he really do not want to accept Christ, He will find another excuse for it. like you said, it's important to teach about Christ so we don't have to worry about their excuses.

Keep blaming on the parents is feeding the kids' excuses. They are grown now, time to stop looking at the parents, and start looking at the kids.

[HappyChristian]

Um, Psalms, no-one is blaming the parents for anything. But ANYTHING that we as parents do affects our kids - and a whole lot more than whatever the next door neighbor might say. And you are wrong, my dear. Sorry. But what parents do to and with their children affect the outcome of the children's lives. Parents' actions influence children's choices. That is why so many drug addict parents have drug addict kids. Immoral parents most times have immoral kids. Because that is what they learned. Children live what they learn.

Again, if God didn't expect parents to mold and influence children, He would have made a different plan for their entrance into the world, and for their growth. But He didn't. He created parents.

[bzmomo7]

It sounds to me as if Psalms is just trying to disinguish the difference between who (the parent or the child) is responsible for what:

~The parents are responsible to the Lord for how they RAISE their children--if they do a bad job they will give an acct. of it later.

~Children are responsible for their own actions--if they make bad choices as adults or whatever because of the WAY they were raised--they STILL will have to give acct. for their OWN actions.

Of course, the parents have an effect on their children, but we all have to stand on our own two feet when it comes to our actions and decisions.

[Psalms18_28]

It sounds to me as if Psalms is just trying to disinguish the difference between who (the parent or the child) is responsible for what:

~The parents are responsible to the Lord for how they RAISE their children--if they do a bad job they will give an acct. of it later.

~Children are responsible for their own actions--if they make bad choices as adults or whatever because of the WAY they were raised--they STILL will have to give acct. for their OWN actions.

Of course, the parents have an effect on their children, but we all have to stand on our own two feet when it comes to our actions and decisions.

Exactly.. and if my mother was a drunk, I shouldn't become a drunk mother either. I can't make excuses for my behavior because of my parents. and if everyone say, "I understand... You can't help the way you turned out because of your mother" then I will dwell in that excuse. plus, some mothers really do have problems, but it doesn't mean they hate their kids.

I used to think my mom hates my deafness, and tried to make me a hearing person by sending me to a mainstreamed public school. I dwell in that.. and people like my sisters, aunts, etc. tell me, yeah, your mother should have let you go to a deaf school. But really, my mom only did what she thought was best. She didn't hate my deafness. She just wanted me to be successful. BTW, she did not regret her decision. She felt she made the right decision... and maybe she did. Just like his brother just wanted his kids to love the Lord, he just used the wrong approach.

[war_eagle]

He only did what he thought was best.

I'm sure he only did what he thought was best when we had to call the police on him because he beat our mom half to death, too, but that doesn't mean that it was a good idea.

Unless you can predict the "what if" future, you don't know how they would turn out if he raised them differently. No need to blame him if he did his best according to the bible.

He didn't.

Beside,his kids need their uncle to remind them that he was a good father to them because he love them

"Hey, guys, your dad only beat your mom and locked you in your rooms because he loved you"

No, I don't think I can sell that one.

Their father wasn't the one who made the decision, they did.

Their father, however, was the one who chose to raise them in such a way that they would be completely unprepared to deal with the real world.

So Don't fall for your brother's kids excuses because you didn't like the way he raised them.

I honestly can't believe you'd defend someone who'd let their kids live in squalor, claiming he had no money, and yet, had a new truck and bass boat sitting out in the yard.

You can defend him all you like but he's a drunk. he's a con man, and he's a lousy father. Frankly, if I'd have had a say in it, I'd have had those kids out of the house so fast it would make your head spin.

[Guest Guest]

Your brother is a drunk wife beater with a bass boat and a pick up truck? And your screen name is war_eagle? Man, you just can't make that stuff up. (sorry, I just couldn't resist) :smile

Seriously though, I'll pray for your neices and nephews.

[Psalms18_28]

I thought he was just strict, took the kids to church and all. Like I wrote, if he was abusive, It's different.

My dad is also a drunk.. but I still love him. I am glad he didn't abuse us. It could have been worst. And yes, he had beat our mom, but I never seen it (heard it from other people). He was not around much either, but he did put food on the table. He was actually a good dad although he is a drunk. Nope, I still didn't make excuses. I can say that my dad hurt me and my past will forever haunt me, but I can't say "Well because my dad treated me this way... I'm going to quit caring about the world and God and start drinking and do violence things and treat my kids the just like my dad"

[HappyChristian]

Well, I don't get the sense from war_eagle that he is making any excuses for his brother's kids. I think he's just trying to point out something that the Bible actually teaches....your children become what you raise them to be. Yes, yes, yes, I know they make their own choices. But they choose based on what they know. Yes, each person gives account of their own doings. And no-one is saying otherwise. But the way a person is raised accounts for very much of why they are the way they are. Some people choose to become just like their parents. Some choose to go the opposite way. But the rearing still affects their choices. Blame mom and dad? No - can't do that. Look back at their rearing to see where the problem with making bad choices comes from? Yep, can do.

[bzmomo7]

Well' date=' I don't get the sense from war_eagle that he is making any excuses for his brother's kids. I think he's just trying to point out something that the Bible actually teaches....your children become what you raise them to be. Yes, yes, yes, I know they make their own choices. But they choose based on what they know. Yes, each person gives account of their own doings. And no-one is saying otherwise. But the way a person is raised accounts for [u']very much of why they are the way they are. Some people choose to become just like their parents. Some choose to go the opposite way. But the rearing still affects their choices. Blame mom and dad? No - can't do that. Look back at their rearing to see where the problem with making bad choices comes from? Yep, can do.

Yes, and choose not to let history repeat itself.

[HappyChristian]

Yes, and choose not to let history repeat itself.

I think that's what I've been saying.

[Psalms18_28]

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[Psalms18_28]

My problem is that alot of people blame parents for raising their kids the best they can. They didn't think their kids will turn out they way they did. They raised them in a way to prevent that. Even you are raising them that way. In a few years, IF they rebelled, would you like it if someone told you that you did a horrible job?.

Alot of kids today don't respect their parents, even when the parents did everything right. They keep finding faults in their parents. It's like they were trained to study their parents with a magifying glasses or something. Of course, if you read all those pyschology books, they all will shift back to their parents for every little problems. First thing come out of psychologist's mouth, "Tell me about your relationship with your parents" ... "yes, it seem to me it's best if you cut off all relationship with you parents", etc.(over minor issues).

Of course Abuses is not counted as doing their best. Abuse is more about them than the child. I was not talking about abuse.

[John81]

If I understand what Psalms18_28 is trying to say, I'm in agreement.

Public schools tend to teach that parents are likely to blame for anything wrong or bad in a childs life.

Universities and colleges are notorious for taking the "blame the parent" approach. When I was in university I heard so many professors trying to blame everything upon "bad parents" (which to them, all parents were/are bad parents).

It's true enough that what parents do will affect the outcome of the child. However, once the child comes of age and is an adult, it's their choice as to how to lead their lives. Many children come from horrible home situations and yet they determine not to allow that to hamper their lives and they move on and upward. Meanwhile, many more prefer to take the "my parents messed me up so whatever happens to me is their fault" route and they basically determine to ruin their own lives to spite their parents.

I can look back at my own childhood and how I was raised and I can see how some of what my parents did had an effect on things but then it's MY CHOICE as to whether I allow something they did to hold me back or whether I take action to move beyond that.

Likewise, on the positive side, I can see the good things they brought into my life and yet again it's MY CHOICE to either reject that or accept it.

In the end, when we each must stand before God we will be standing there alone. Our eternal destination will depend upon whether we accepted or rejected Christ. God won't ask us nor will he listen to anything about our parents.