Raising godly children

[Psalms18_28]

Amen, John81

There are kids who were raised in a good homes (no abuses whatsoever- including neglects) and they act like their parents are the worst parents in the world. Even if the parents follow what the bible says. It seem we are constantly trying to find the perfect childrearing these days. The love and the love for God is already there but instead of being relax and content about it, we push ourselves to show more of it. I seriously think it's the society issues.


In the old days, no matter how strict or religious or however the parents raised them, A lot of people appreciated their parents. They didn't bother finding faults so they can find something to be angry or lose respect about. If they were angry or whatever, at their parents at all, it was for very good reason (abuse)... My mom did not have look for reasons to be angry at her father. It was just there. She would have appreciate her father ifhe didnt abuse her and her sisters. Her mother is not all that perfect, but my mom appreicated her anyway. She rather remember the good things her mother did... like leaving their father after she found out what he done to the kids to protect them.

[Guest Guest]

There are kids who were raised in a good homes (no abuses whatsoever- including neglects) and they act like their parents are the worst parents in the world. Even if the parents follow what the bible says. It seem we are constantly trying to seek childrearing to prefection these days.

Then there are kids who everyone THINKS are raised in a good home without abuse. The kid is truly abused but when they try and talk about it they are told to "not speak against their parents. You have good parents they'd never do that." The child basically gets called a liar when sometimes families that appear great on the outside to everyone else have miserable kids suffering in silence because nobody will believe them anyway. I'm not saying it happens often, but we do need to be careful of our perceptions.

[Psalms18_28]

Then there are kids who everyone THINKS are raised in a good home without abuse. The kid is truly abused but when they try and talk about it they are told to "not speak against their parents. You have good parents they'd never do that." The child basically gets called a liar when sometimes families that appear great on the outside to everyone else have miserable kids suffering in silence because nobody will believe them anyway. I'm not saying it happens often, but we do need to be careful of our perceptions.

Most kids will not accuse their parents of abuse. So if they btrought it up, listen. But, Most of the time, they think removing radio is abuse. If you see nothing wrong with radio being removed, tell them. but don't go around saying, oh that's horrible!

If they truly being abused, You'll know. You shouldn't ignore them, but you shouldn't let them think certain situation is abuse either. If you did, people will have a heard time distinishing between a true abuse and discipline.

[Guest Guest]

I know of families who it came out later that the kids were abused but nobody would have ever thought it. I don't believe every time in "if they are being abused, you'll know". That just isn't true all the time. Some parents are abusive and nobody ever knows and when the child tries to say something to someone else they are told "you have good parents, they'd NEVER do that" when they did. Seen it with my own two eyes.

[Psalms18_28]

I know of families who it came out later that the kids were abused but nobody would have ever thought it. I don't believe every time in "if they are being abused' date=' you'll know". That just isn't true all the time. Some parents are abusive and nobody ever knows and when the child tries to say something to someone else they are told "you have good parents, they'd NEVER do that" when they did. Seen it with my own two eyes.[/quote']

What I mean by you'll know is that they will tell you.

So do you believe children ought to badmouthed their parents all they want as a fear they just might be abuse..therefore you don't want tell them ,"that is not a nice thing to say about your parents" to scare them away from opening up to you?

[HappyChristian]

In the climate in which we live today, it is hard to know if a child is telling the truth - especially if they attend public schools. I remember about 15 years ago, I received a call from a social worker asking questions about a woman I babysat for. Apparently the daughter had gone to her teacher and complained that her mother abused them, and that she never fed them, etc. She told them I was the family sitter. So they called to see if I had ever noticed any of that. Now, one thing to point out - if the parents had been charged with abuse, I could have been an accessory because I didn't report my suspicions. There was no abuse, though. I told the social worker that I didn't know why the daughter would say something like that. The parents didn't spank (they were unsaved, they did discipline, they just didn't spank), there was fruit sitting in a bowl all the time for the kids if they got hungry between meals, she fed them three meals a day, except when they were in school. Well, they questioned the girl a bit more and it turned out that one of her friends had convinced her that her mother was abusing her!!! Fortuanately for everyone involved, social services didn't do what they normally do and take all the kids away first for an untold length of time!!!

[Guest Guest]

Psalm 18_28, lots of kids DO lie and some don't. I would pray for wisdom if a child told me of such things to see what God would have me do (after talking to my husband of course, he'd be first). I have actually seen this happen in some Christian families and the children were told they were not "honouring their parents" by saying these things about them, and years later you find out it actually was abuse. I have been in churches where they have known about the abuse and covered it up to keep that family with a "good family" image. So in answer to your question, it's hard to know what to do.

[Psalms18_28]

speaking of lying about abuse.; I have a cousin (I come from a very big,messed up family, btw). He was my uncle's son. But he didn't live with him. I remember going elevator with my cousin when we wrre at the beach when he was 4 years old. all a sudden,he said his pee pee hurts. You might it funny because he was four, We told him it is not polite to talk about private parts in public places but he can talk about his concern privately. He understood it, and it was his first stepping stone of telling his deep secret. He went home and told his mother but scared of his mother's new boyfriend. So instead, he told his mother that my other cousin did it. I think he felt safer with my other cousin not hurt him. The court had ruled my cousin out, and found strong evidence that her boyfriend did it.

[Guest Guest]

If stuff like that comes from the mouth of a small child, I believe it. SImply because I don't believe that they are capable of making up a story like that. Kids that age lie, of course, but if a four year old child can go into detail about an event like that, it most probably happened.

[Psalms18_28]

well,All I know is that we are not helping kids by getting away w ith lying and badmouthing. They still kids who need to be told it is still wrong (especially cursing and calling their mother a you know what) even if they are abuse.In fact, It make it worst for them.

If someone told me they have been abused, I would not accuse them of lying without investigating it first. which is the social worker's job to investigate. just like murder, you can't accuse them of murder without investigating first.
BUT, if they were complaining about their meal being removed,I'll ask them why. Then I'll say, well she just wanted you to learn. To help them understand their parents. I will not accuse the parents of abuse unless I'm absolutely sure it is something to investigate. Nor lead the kid to think it is abuse. If they were abused, I still won't let them badmouth them. They're still kids that need to learn. I'll say listen, I know you are angry, but I appreicate if you don't use foul language or namecalling.

[John81]

Right here in this little town not that many years ago a dad came home and found his big 17 year old son hitting his mom so he grabbed him and knocked him across the room. The young man called the cops and claimed abuse so the police came, handcuffed the dad and hauled him to jail.

After the mom bailed her husband out, they went home and took all of that young mans stuff out of his room and piled it in the ditch in front of their house and when he came back they told him he didn't live there anymore.

That young man eventually joined the army and started straightening his life out but then he was killed in Iraq.

[HappyChristian]

Right here in this little town not that many years ago a dad came home and found his big 17 year old son hitting his mom so he grabbed him and knocked him across the room. The young man called the cops and claimed abuse so the police came, handcuffed the dad and hauled him to jail.

After the mom bailed her husband out, they went home and took all of that young mans stuff out of his room and piled it in the ditch in front of their house and when he came back they told him he didn't live there anymore.

That young man eventually joined the army and started straightening his life out but then he was killed in Iraq.

Oh - this just breaks my heart!! I sure hope that young man found the Lord before he died!

[John81]

Oh - this just breaks my heart!! I sure hope that young man found the Lord before he died!

His relationship with his parents had greatly improved but I have no knowledge that he ever turned to the Lord. :sad

[Psalms18_28]

If stuff like that comes from the mouth of a small child' date=' I believe it. SImply because I don't believe that they are capable of making up a story like that. Kids that age lie, of course, but if a four year old child can go into detail about an event like that, it most probably happened.[/quote']

Pray for my cousin. I don't know where he is today. Last I heard that he was in a home for trouble boys. His mother died, his grandma (his mother's mother) badmouth all the time. He didn't want to live with her. And He does not want to have anything to do with his father, my uncle, either because he's angry that my uncle signed his rights as a father to his grandma.

He is angry about everything, basically. I have always hoped to see him again, but it have been years since I've seen him.

[John81]

:pray