Troubled youth

[Bro. Rick]

We are an independent baptist missionary family and have 4 youth. One of our adopted boys is in rebellion and refuses to cooperate with us. He is homeschooled with the ACE program. He is 17 years old and in the 9th grade because he was delayed in his education. At this point he has no criminal record. He seems to be getting worse despite our prayers and efforts. Can anyone recommend a camp or home that teaches the Bible and that can possible reach our son. We have checked into many and they have a cut off age of 18 and or are so costly we can not afford it. He turns 18 in April.

Thank you
Seeking to Glorify Him
Brother Ricky

Thank you all for your prayers. I wish to address the issue concerning Christian parents sending their children to homes. I used to, at one time, think, why would these people to that? Well after many years and having traveled through my own experiences. I have changed my mind on that issue. When I look back I see that the good Christian families that I knew who sent one of their youth to a Christian home or camp, I realize they did it out of a deep love to help their child. And it was the last resort after they had tried everything else, prayer, good role modeling, and lots of love, while living in the States and not being involved with fulltime missions. It was not an easy for them; I guess it is what we call tough love. They had thought they had failed, but they had tried hard to reach their kids over the course of years. The separation was difficult, and it emptied their bank accounts. Some of these homes can run $40,000- $60,000 a year and that does not include the extras. So it was a sacrifice for them. I am sure there are those who are quick to send their children away without trying to work on the situation at home. I do not agree with this. Those who I am referring to have fought a long spiritual battle and are drained. It is sad when we spend years trying to train up a child in the way they should go and watch them turn away from Christ in rebellion. Many of the families I am referring to have several children one had 11, the other 8, and 3 and in our case 4. These are not parents who do it all wrong; their other children have grown much in the Lord and have not rebelled to this extent. They have left the home and started their own godly families. So these parents weren't failures they did something right. But the one that rebelled, after trying so hard for years to reach them, they sent them away and then after a year their children returned to them with a heart that had changed, not brainwashed. I can say this because after several years their children are still doing well and have a wonderful relationship with their parents. A heart change will last, whereas a head change will not. I have seen Christian parents who had tried everything they could but never took that extra step for some reason and their children are still in rebellion. We as Christian parents can do all we can in instructing our children, but sometimes it can take a youth counselor, pastor, or some other person to reach our children. Like Paul said; ?I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase?. (1 Co 3:6). I will close with a wise saying that an elderly man in our church once said to me many years ago when I was young and very judgmental of a Christian family in our church.
?It is always easier to know how to raise someone else?s children.?

[Lee-Anne]

I will be praying for your family.

[Anon]

I have a somewhat personal opinion, after knowing several people that get sent to homes, that homes do nothing but transfer the problem to somebody else. I would suggest praying about coming off the field to work with your son yourself, as your first responsbility is your family, and making sure they are following God, before your church.

Good luck, I'm sure its an extremely difficult time for you.

[Guest Guest]

I have a somewhat personal opinion, after knowing several people that get sent to homes, that homes do nothing but transfer the problem to somebody else. I would suggest praying about coming off the field to work with your son yourself, as your first responsbility is your family, and making sure they are following God, before your church.

Good luck, I'm sure its an extremely difficult time for you.

I know of a pastor's daughter that got sent to one of those homes. It was one of the Lester Roloff homes, so it was a good place, but it didn't help her. Instead, she got out and got together with worse friends... and now she's a lesbian.

[matie-k]

http://www.victoriousvalleyhomes.com/ --- I don't know much if anything about this home, but I like some of the music they put out, and one of my friends saw a group from there one time and was impressed with them.

[Anon]

http://www.victoriousvalleyhomes.com/ --- I don't know much if anything about this home' date=' but I like some of the music they put out, and one of my friends saw a group from there one time and was impressed with them.[/quote']

Isn't that just a girls home?

I'm just not into the whole idea of Christian parents sending kids to homes. Lost parents maybe...not Christian ones. If I were a kid, I'd just figure my parents gave up and sent me away, and it would only make me more angry and rebellious.

[Trish]

I totally agree with Kita. IMO you need to come off the field for a time and get your family back under control. Just sending them away is provoking to anger, and will cause abandonment issues(if he doesn't have that already due to being adopted), and more rebellion.

[HappyChristian]

I think we probably all know people who have been "sent away." Some turned out badly, others turned out well. I am thinking now of a lady who is on the mission field today, another who is a pastor's wife, a young man who is an assistant in a church. And another one who just graduated from high school, and has a much better spirit to him. I know others who have turned against the Lord, but I don't know if that's so much the sending away as it is the hardening of their hearts even before they were sent away - and the poor choice of homes to which they were sent.

My personal opinion is that each family head needs to pray and decide what God wants him to do for his family. He knows his family and the erring child better than anyone.

But what Kita and Trish said has much merit. Sending your son away at this time, to another continent even, may give him the idea, in his rebellion, that you just don't want him (after all, he isn't your natural child, so to him, you could just be using this as a way to get rid of him). Perhaps you should think carefully and pray much about the possibility of coming off the field for a year or two, where you can be in a church setting with help from the pastor and other godly men. I know a family that did this. Their son got saved, and things are looking up. Have prayed for you and yours...

[hspeer]

They have a boys home as well.

[HappyChristian]

Oh, my - the song the have playing on their homepage is so, just, well = wow!!!!

[OLD fashioned preacher]

Reclamation Ranch (Jack Patterson) has a boys home AND a program for men 18-35. reclamationranch@hotmail.com

[John81]

I'm curious as to why neither of the two places mentioned contain information on their websites as to who they accept and how they decide or as to matters of cost. Why is that?

[HappyChristian]

I'm curious as to why neither of the two places mentioned contain information on their websites as to who they accept and how they decide or as to matters of cost. Why is that?

Many sites won't list prices for product or service, John, because prices are liquid. As to who they accept - it could possibly be that they accept on a case by case basis, which would mean that they would have to discuss it with the parents and/or pastor to make a decision.

[John81]

Many sites won't list prices for product or service, John, because prices are liquid. As to who they accept - it could possibly be that they accept on a case by case basis, which would mean that they would have to discuss it with the parents and/or pastor to make a decision.

Okay. It still doesn't make good sense to me, but if that's the way they do things...

[lettheredeemedsayso]

The first one that comes to mind is the Roloff homes.

http://www.roloffhomes.com/



There is another one called Kings Ranch

http://www.kingsranch.org/templates/cus ... PID=103374