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Divorce and Remarriage


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Hi.  I'm a new member.  Thank you all for allowing me to join the conversation.

I was saved in 1970.  A lot has changed within churches during that time including church stands regarding the subject of divorce and remarriage.  

This subject is a difficult one to discuss for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that divorce hurts people badly.  We are not machines and God has chosen to build emotions into our beings.  Although not reliable to base decisions upon, emotions are part of us and play an important role in our lives.  Divorce and remarriage is about as emotional and personal a topic as I can imagine. 

Another reason that this is a difficult subject to discuss is that I believe that there is some serious "rightly dividing of scripture" that needs to be done in order to understand this subject Biblically.  Sincere people have often come to conflicting conclusions.  I expect that this will be the case in this forum.  We all have the right to come to our own conclusions as we sincerely seek for God's will and are willing to apply it to our lives.

A third reason is that the consequences for arriving at a conviction on this subject can be great. 

For the last 40 years or so I have been convinced from the scriptures that divorce and remarriage is adultery and have lived by that conviction.  Both of my brothers are divorced and remarried.  This has strained our relationships.  I have lost close friends. I have been shunned by Independent Baptist Churches.  I have paid a price for this conviction in other ways.

I believe that this subject is the "10 ton elephant" within Independent Baptist Churches today and is one of the major reasons why our country is under God's heavy hand of judgement.

The attachment defines my beliefs and explains from the scriptures why I believe as I do.

As I have stated, this topic is a very rough one to discuss. I obviously have a strong conviction regarding it.  I believe that it can be discussed with Christian charity and respect. Sometimes communication on a subject about which people hold strong convictions can appear to be intentionally antagonistic.  I apologize in advance if that appears to be my approach.  That is not my intent or spirit, and I have done my best to avoid giving that impression while stating my position clearly.

 

Trusting in God's greatness and goodness,

Brother Bruce

Marriage_Divorce_Remarriage.pdf

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May I ask your objective with presenting this? Are you looking to teach others? Are you looking to engage in discussion with those who disagree? Are you looking to - something else? (Note: I am not contrary to your presenting it; I am just trying to understand your intent, that I might possibly respond appropriately.)

Edited by Pastor Scott Markle
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Curious as to how we understand what Jesus meant here:

John 4:

15-18: "The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw. Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly."

So Jesus, apparently, by His own words, recognizes that this Samaritan woman has had 5 husbands, and is currently with a man that He, himself, differentiates, for some reason, as NOT her husband. IF we are recognized as married only once, (unless five of her husbands have all died), why does Jesus recognize all 5 as husbands? And why not the current one? I realize that all we can do is speculate, (ie, all 5 died), but if not, why does He recognize them all as husbands?

I am not an advocate of divorce, I read the paper put forth, which lays out all the reasons in the typical manner, but I disagree with some of the interpretation, taking simple scriptures and putting a spin that isn't necessarily there. 

for instance, clearly, believers are NOT to marry unbelievers-but if we choose to ignore God's command there, and do so, does that mean that God just shifts His position on it, and blesses that unequally-yoked relationship, just because WE chose to marry outside of His will? Would not, then, that instance make acceptable the divorce from that unsaved person, particularly if they chose to leave, because we are not under bondage to that unsaved person, and make us free to marry within His will?

And, at the end of the day, is divorce and remarriage the truly unforgivable sin, as some, especially IFBs seem to view it? I knew a pastor that told a divorced man that he could do no kind of service in their church, because he was divorced-sit down, shut up, pay your tithe, and that's it. Is this the way it is supposed to be? I don't see anything like that in scripture.  If an immature believer marries an unsaved person, later as the former grows in Christ, and the latter doesn't, and chooses instead to depart, is that person not to be forgiven of their sin of marrying outside the faith, so that they might marry a godly believer? Of does God spiritually mark them with an "A" and leave them unforgiven for all time?

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Dear Pastor Markle,

My intent in posting on this issue is:

1) To find those of like mind on this topic for the purpose of mutual encouragement.

2) To discuss this issue with anyone who is willing to do so in the spirit of Christian charity.

3) To challenge those who have not diligently prayed, fasted, and searched the Scriptures with childlike faith on this issue to do so (because I believe that this issue is a critical one in God's eyes).

4) To find a KJV pastor of like conviction on this subject and others such as modesty, music, repentance (issues that are important to God), who has a soft heart for people, and who will be called to plant a church in the San Diego, California area in which my wife and I live.  I am willing to provide substantial financial support.  Alternately, to get in touch with a KJV pastor located anywhere with whom I would share these Bible convictions.  I have lived in San Diego all of my life but am willing to move anywhere that God leads.

 

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Please consider a wider Scriptural view: Is not God Himself divorced and remarried? So there is no contradiction between His Teachings in the Gospels and His Teachings in the Epistles.

God divorced His first wife-Israel because of their adulteries which were manifested by spiritual fornication. That would certainly clear up why He gave us the caveat of fornication. In these contexts fornication is the outward show of adultery in the heart. Keep in mind that He provided no other caveat however. God didn't get "tired" of Israel; Israel rejected Him and turned to "others".

After He divorced Israel He took a new Bride (the church) in case you were pondering remarriage. And yes, His remarriage was "in the Lord".

Pastor qualifications are all written in the "present" tense and not in the past tense. Which makes sense since no one could meet those qualifications since birth or any other randomly selected point in between "births".

Consider that this issue could settled as simply as that. But, that depends only on if you want it to be and/or have no other agenda in regards to it. Which unfortunately is most often the case.

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7 hours ago, BibleBruce said:

Dear Pastor Markle,

My intent in posting on this issue is:

1) To find those of like mind on this topic for the purpose of mutual encouragement.

2) To discuss this issue with anyone who is willing to do so in the spirit of Christian charity.

3) To challenge those who have not diligently prayed, fasted, and searched the Scriptures with childlike faith on this issue to do so (because I believe that this issue is a critical one in God's eyes).

4) To find a KJV pastor of like conviction on this subject and others such as modesty, music, repentance (issues that are important to God), who has a soft heart for people, and who will be called to plant a church in the San Diego, California area in which my wife and I live.  I am willing to provide substantial financial support.  Alternately, to get in touch with a KJV pastor located anywhere with whom I would share these Bible convictions.  I have lived in San Diego all of my life but am willing to move anywhere that God leads.

 

I recommend you look at Lighthouse Baptist Church in La Mesa, on Skyline Blvd. An excellent KJV church, godly pastor, very active in local evangelism, military ministries, large Spanish ministry. 

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Pastor Markle,

I have spoken with Pastor Fisher of Lighthouse Baptist Church in the past regarding the divorce and remarriage issue and we are not in agreement, but I do appreciate you trying to help. Pastors who understand my stand are almost always unwilling to accept me as a member. 

My stand on the divorce and remarriage issue (held for about 40 years) is something that I have studied, prayed, and fasted over very extensively.  It has cost me dearly and I cannot compromise on it.  The flip side of this is that I respect pastoral authority and have no desire to join a church where my convictions (when lived out) would cause contention, so I would not join such a church.

Can you please advise me on the following?  Being new to this site I'm not sure if I am replying to those who have responded to my post in the best way that the software of the site provides.  The only option that I see appears to be responding to my original post rather than responding to those who respond to my post.  Please advise.

Thank you again for your kindness in trying to help.

 

Trusting in God's goodness and grace,

Brother Bruce

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14 minutes ago, BibleBruce said:

Pastor Markle,

I have spoken with Pastor Fisher of Lighthouse Baptist Church in the past regarding the divorce and remarriage issue and we are not in agreement, but I do appreciate you trying to help. Pastors who understand my stand are almost always unwilling to accept me as a member. 

Brother "BibleBruce,"

First, it was UkuleleMike who recommended Lighthouse Baptist and Pastor Fisher, not myself.

Second, when you want to respond to a particular post by another within the thread discussion, my suggestion is to "quote" that posting, or at least a portion of it (as I have done above in this response toward you).  The way to quote another posting is to hit the "Quote" link at the very bottom of their post. You can also quote multiple postings by hitting the "+" (multiquote) link at the bottom of a post, then go to another and do the same. The "quotes" will occur at the beginning of your post in the order that you add them through the "multipost." You can even "edit" those quotes after the come up in your posting, in order to limit the quote with that portion that specifically desire to respond toward (as I have done above). In time you may learn further ways of handling these quotes.

I hope that is helpful to you.

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8 hours ago, wretched said:

Please consider a wider Scriptural view: Is not God Himself divorced and remarried? So there is no contradiction between His Teachings in the Gospels and His Teachings in the Epistles.

God divorced His first wife-Israel because of their adulteries which were manifested by spiritual fornication. That would certainly clear up why He gave us the caveat of fornication. In these contexts fornication is the outward show of adultery in the heart. Keep in mind that He provided no other caveat however. God didn't get "tired" of Israel; Israel rejected Him and turned to "others".

After He divorced Israel He took a new Bride (the church) in case you were pondering remarriage. And yes, His remarriage was "in the Lord".

Pastor qualifications are all written in the "present" tense and not in the past tense. Which makes sense since no one could meet those qualifications since birth or any other randomly selected point in between "births".

Consider that this issue could settled as simply as that. But, that depends only on if you want it to be and/or have no other agenda in regards to it. Which unfortunately is most often the case.

Dear Wretched (BTW, I like your walrus icon),

 

Thank you for responding to my post.  I appreciate your Christian courtesy.

 

First of all:

I am in complete agreement with you regarding the fact that God did divorce Israel. I believe that the following verse states this clearly:

“And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.” - Jeremiah 3:8

I also believe that the following verse (which occurs after God stated that he had divorced Israel) is just as clear regarding the state of  the marriage after divorce:

“Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion:” - Jeremiah 3:14

God does not say that he “was” married to Israel, but that he “is” married to Israel (after the divorce - that the marriage was still in force after the divorce).

The 3rd chapter of Jeremiah is one of the many passages in the Bible that, about 40 years ago, caused me to change from believing that God authorizes divorce and remarriage under certain circumstances to believing that he doesn’t.

 

Secondarily:

I honestly do not understand your point regarding your following statement :

“Pastor qualifications are all written in the ‘present’ tense and not in the past tense.” 

I hope that I do not sound contentious (that is not my heart). I am simply asking for clarification regarding how you believe this is related to the topic in at hand so that I can respond accordingly.

 

I have no other agenda other than standing for God’s truth regarding this topic. It is settled in my heart and mind. There is no earthly advantage to me in taking this stand. It has cost me dearly.

If you are saved and have not studied this topic as I have (with an open mind, willing to live by whatever God reveals to you in his word regardless of cost, diligent study, and earnest prayer and fasting) I would encourage you to do so.

 

May God bless you mightily,

Brother Bruce

On 7/6/2021 at 7:25 AM, Jordan Kurecki said:

https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Remarriage-Christian-Spectrum-Multiview/dp/0830812830

I just recently finished reading this, I found it helpful. 

I plan to order the book.  Thanks Jordan.

2 hours ago, Pastor Scott Markle said:

Brother "BibleBruce,"

First, it was UkuleleMike who recommended Lighthouse Baptist and Pastor Fisher, not myself.

Second, when you want to respond to a particular post by another within the thread discussion, my suggestion is to "quote" that posting, or at least a portion of it (as I have done above in this response toward you).  The way to quote another posting is to hit the "Quote" link at the very bottom of their post. You can also quote multiple postings by hitting the "+" (multiquote) link at the bottom of a post, then go to another and do the same. The "quotes" will occur at the beginning of your post in the order that you add them through the "multipost." You can even "edit" those quotes after the come up in your posting, in order to limit the quote with that portion that specifically desire to respond toward (as I have done above). In time you may learn further ways of handling these quotes.

I hope that is helpful to you.

Pastor Markle,

My mistake regarding who recommended the church.  Forgive me, I'm still getting used to this site.

Your suggestions regarding how to respond to those who respond to me is excellent.  I have applied them.  Thank you very much.

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5 hours ago, Ukulelemike said:

I recommend you look at Lighthouse Baptist Church in La Mesa, on Skyline Blvd. An excellent KJV church, godly pastor, very active in local evangelism, military ministries, large Spanish ministry. 

Hi Ukulelemike,

Thanks much for the suggestion.  Being new to this site, I thought that Pastor Markle had made this suggestion so I responded to him (I'm still learning).  Please see my response to Pastor Markle.

 

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On 7/6/2021 at 7:37 AM, Jordan Kurecki said:

For the reasons on these pages, I reject the teaching that the “fornication” of Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 refers to fornication within a betrothal period.

image.jpg

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Hi Jordan,

Thanks for responding to my post.  I don't have time to respond to your comments right now, but hope to be able to do so soon.

Take care,

Bruce

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On 7/6/2021 at 8:10 AM, Ukulelemike said:

Curious as to how we understand what Jesus meant here:

John 4:

15-18: "The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw. Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly."

So Jesus, apparently, by His own words, recognizes that this Samaritan woman has had 5 husbands, and is currently with a man that He, himself, differentiates, for some reason, as NOT her husband. IF we are recognized as married only once, (unless five of her husbands have all died), why does Jesus recognize all 5 as husbands? And why not the current one? I realize that all we can do is speculate, (ie, all 5 died), but if not, why does He recognize them all as husbands?

I am not an advocate of divorce, I read the paper put forth, which lays out all the reasons in the typical manner, but I disagree with some of the interpretation, taking simple scriptures and putting a spin that isn't necessarily there. 

for instance, clearly, believers are NOT to marry unbelievers-but if we choose to ignore God's command there, and do so, does that mean that God just shifts His position on it, and blesses that unequally-yoked relationship, just because WE chose to marry outside of His will? Would not, then, that instance make acceptable the divorce from that unsaved person, particularly if they chose to leave, because we are not under bondage to that unsaved person, and make us free to marry within His will?

And, at the end of the day, is divorce and remarriage the truly unforgivable sin, as some, especially IFBs seem to view it? I knew a pastor that told a divorced man that he could do no kind of service in their church, because he was divorced-sit down, shut up, pay your tithe, and that's it. Is this the way it is supposed to be? I don't see anything like that in scripture.  If an immature believer marries an unsaved person, later as the former grows in Christ, and the latter doesn't, and chooses instead to depart, is that person not to be forgiven of their sin of marrying outside the faith, so that they might marry a godly believer? Of does God spiritually mark them with an "A" and leave them unforgiven for all time?

Hi Ukulelemike,

Thanks for responding to my post.  I don't have time to respond to your comments in the detail that they deserve right now but plan to do so soon. BTW, I don't believe (and never have believed) that divorce and remarriage is an unforgiveable sin.  I do believe that repentance is required and I can explain what I believe repentance would entail for this sin.

Take care and may God bless you mightily.

Brother Bruce

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16 minutes ago, BibleBruce said:

Hi Jordan,

Thanks for responding to my post.  I don't have time to respond to your comments right now, but hope to be able to do so soon.

Take care,

Bruce

Thank you Bruce, I appreciate the spirit and attitude that you are manifesting in your posts, even though I think we probably would disagree on this subject. 

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