Members SureWord Posted June 27, 2021 Members Share Posted June 27, 2021 5 hours ago, Corinne said: Don't get me wrong, It's good to attend if you're a woman with family or have kids, but if you're a single older man/woman it's pointless to attend, most sermons aren't oriented or directed at you, you just don't exist as a believer if you don't have a family or kids. Especially older woman, the sermons are only addressed to wives or young girls. Visit if you have a friend or partner to introduce you to people, stay away if you're a newcomer to the assembly. Worship by yourself if you can't gain anything from attending. Also, I know this will be unpopular but expecting people to attend ALL services is ridiculous. PEOPLE ARE EXHAUSTED after working for hours, they need to relax. I'm saying it's enough 1 day or 1 time during week. I'm convinced pastors fill up the week with useless stuff to attend so that they appear 'busy for the Lord' in front of their crowd or community. People have lives and stressful duties to attend to, they don't need scolding and criticism for missing services. Yes, there is a lot of truth to what you say. A single man such as myself usually is on the outside a bit. I think many within the church might think something is strange with you if you have never been married. I still go to church but I really keep pretty much to myself other than a quick chat with the pastor who seems to like me and one other member, an elderly widow. The rest avoid me even if I try to initiate a conversation. A number of years ago up in Syracuse, NY I attended a Baptist Church that was made up of single males. Outside of the pastor there was only one man over 40. The church would do a lot of street preaching within a rough section of the city. The pastor was also a black belt and taught karate to anyone who wanted to learn. Anytime one of the guys got a wife she would demand he'd leave the church and join a typical modern day entertainment church with Awana, Patch the Pirate, church picnics, Women's Bible Study Group (no such group for the men), Christmas pageants, softball games, etc. I really miss that church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Corinne Posted June 28, 2021 Members Share Posted June 28, 2021 Just now, SureWord said: Anytime one of the guys got a wife she would demand he'd leave the church and join a typical modern day entertainment church with Awana, Patch the Pirate, church picnics, Women's Bible Study Group (no such group for the men), Christmas pageants, softball games, etc. I really miss that church. Finding one sound in doctrine is also difficult. As mentioned previously, I only wish for more catering to single adults, but I understand if it doesn't happen. It's a rare thing to see older people being single. But you talked about men groups, I also find that important. The speeches are targeting mostly husbands and fathers, but single men also need encouragement, especially when they face temptations and different problems. The wives are very cautious when befriending single women, especially younger ones. I honestly don't blame them. There have been numerous scandals and breaking up of families when one's spouse wasn't guarded properly. I think families definitely enjoy interacting with other families. SureWord 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Salyan Posted June 28, 2021 Moderators Share Posted June 28, 2021 I definitely understand the feeling that church activities are more pointed to families than singles. A lot of churches don't seem to know what to do with older singles! Which is a shame, because the singles are, at least in our church, what keep things going. Let me see... if this particular 38-year-old single were not here, they would need a new organist, alternate pianist, church treasurer, clerk, decorator, gardener, librarian, master organizer, children's ministry helper... "I speak as a man", but the truth is that we need both in a church - singles & families. Both are necessary for the Body to work well. Sometimes I really wish the families would invite me over - they do once in a blue moon, but it is so much easier for them to add one person to a gathering than for me to invite 8 people over! But they are individually welcoming & friendly, and I can go up to pretty much anyone and star t a conversation if I want to (or many will start it with me). And God has given me a couple families that I can pretty much invite myself over anytime I need to see someone. ("He setteth the solitary in families.") What you describe, Corinne - that sounds really nasty and unhealthy. If the churches hold personal purity so loosely, no wonder there are so many affairs! There is something seriously wrong in those assemblies. My experience with attending all services is simply this - there is no better way (in a good church) to grow spiritually and grow together as a church family. No, you don't have to, but when you can, it is beneficial. That being said, what Corinne describes is probably not a church that's going to happen in. 17 hours ago, SureWord said: A number of years ago up in Syracuse, NY I attended a Baptist Church that was made up of single males. Outside of the pastor there was only one man over 40. I remember you mentioning that church before! I still want to find it. SureWord 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SureWord Posted June 28, 2021 Members Share Posted June 28, 2021 2 hours ago, Salyan said: I remember you mentioning that church before! I still want to find it. The pastor passed away back in 2015. I think his son may taken over as pastor I'm not sure. 3 hours ago, Corinne said: Finding one sound in doctrine is also difficult. As mentioned previously, I only wish for more catering to single adults, but I understand if it doesn't happen. It's a rare thing to see older people being single. But you talked about men groups, I also find that important. The speeches are targeting mostly husbands and fathers, but single men also need encouragement, especially when they face temptations and different problems. The wives are very cautious when befriending single women, especially younger ones. I honestly don't blame them. There have been numerous scandals and breaking up of families when one's spouse wasn't guarded properly. I think families definitely enjoy interacting with other families. 53 year old single man here. Its not quite as bad as it was in my 20s and 30s but I still feel on the outside at times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Ukulelemike Posted June 28, 2021 Moderators Share Posted June 28, 2021 On 6/27/2021 at 9:41 AM, Corinne said: Don't get me wrong, It's good to attend if you're a woman with family or have kids, but if you're a single older man/woman it's pointless to attend, most sermons aren't oriented or directed at you, you just don't exist as a believer if you don't have a family or kids. Especially older woman, the sermons are only addressed to wives or young girls. Visit if you have a friend or partner to introduce you to people, stay away if you're a newcomer to the assembly. Worship by yourself if you can't gain anything from attending. Also, I know this will be unpopular but expecting people to attend ALL services is ridiculous. PEOPLE ARE EXHAUSTED after working for hours, they need to relax. I'm saying it's enough 1 day or 1 time during week. I'm convinced pastors fill up the week with useless stuff to attend so that they appear 'busy for the Lord' in front of their crowd or community. People have lives and stressful duties to attend to, they don't need scolding and criticism for missing services. 22 hours ago, SureWord said: Yes, there is a lot of truth to what you say. A single man such as myself usually is on the outside a bit. I think many within the church might think something is strange with you if you have never been married. I still go to church but I really keep pretty much to myself other than a quick chat with the pastor who seems to like me and one other member, an elderly widow. The rest avoid me even if I try to initiate a conversation. A number of years ago up in Syracuse, NY I attended a Baptist Church that was made up of single males. Outside of the pastor there was only one man over 40. The church would do a lot of street preaching within a rough section of the city. The pastor was also a black belt and taught karate to anyone who wanted to learn. Anytime one of the guys got a wife she would demand he'd leave the church and join a typical modern day entertainment church with Awana, Patch the Pirate, church picnics, Women's Bible Study Group (no such group for the men), Christmas pageants, softball games, etc. I really miss that church. Man, I don't know where you all go to church, or what kinds of churches you attend, but this has never been my experience. I spent ten years single after my first wife passed, and never had any issues with anything being taaght specifically for any age group. Now I am a pastor, and I started out single, and am now single again, (as my second wife passed away 3 weeks ago), and I have always taught doctrine that is for everyone individually. I mean, yes, I teaching some things geared toward those married, or youth, etc, but that's because there are teachings in scripture specifically geared toward those married, or toward young people, or old people, but most doctrine is written for everyone. I couldn't imagine a church that just teaches for group a or group b, and everyone else is excluded. You need to find better churches. Napsterdad and Jim_Alaska 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SureWord Posted June 29, 2021 Members Share Posted June 29, 2021 4 hours ago, Ukulelemike said: Man, I don't know where you all go to church, or what kinds of churches you attend, but this has never been my experience. I spent ten years single after my first wife passed, and never had any issues with anything being taaght specifically for any age group. Now I am a pastor, and I started out single, and am now single again, (as my second wife passed away 3 weeks ago), and I have always taught doctrine that is for everyone individually. I mean, yes, I teaching some things geared toward those married, or youth, etc, but that's because there are teachings in scripture specifically geared toward those married, or toward young people, or old people, but most doctrine is written for everyone. I couldn't imagine a church that just teaches for group a or group b, and everyone else is excluded. You need to find better churches. It not always that easy to pick up and find a "better church". You know this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Pastor Matt Posted June 29, 2021 Author Administrators Share Posted June 29, 2021 I'm sure finding a good church to attend is based upon your location. Connecticut is such a densely populated state that when someone leaves an Independent Baptist Church, they don't have to travel very far to find another one. We have 8 or 9 Independent Baptist Churches within 20 minutes drive of our church. No excuse here to not go to church Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SureWord Posted June 29, 2021 Members Share Posted June 29, 2021 1 hour ago, PastorMatt said: I'm sure finding a good church to attend is based upon your location. Connecticut is such a densely populated state that when someone leaves an Independent Baptist Church, they don't have to travel very far to find another one. We have 8 or 9 Independent Baptist Churches within 20 minutes drive of our church. No excuse here to not go to church IFB church, yes, but a KJV IFB church? There's a IFB church 1 mile from me but the pastor preaches from the ESV. No thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Salyan Posted June 29, 2021 Moderators Share Posted June 29, 2021 3 hours ago, PastorMatt said: I'm sure finding a good church to attend is based upon your location. Connecticut is such a densely populated state that when someone leaves an Independent Baptist Church, they don't have to travel very far to find another one. We have 8 or 9 Independent Baptist Churches within 20 minutes drive of our church. No excuse here to not go to church Wow. Alberta has a few in both of the major cities (whether or not you'd want to go to all of them is another question), but otherwise it's a 2-3 hour drive to get to one. SureWord 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SureWord Posted June 29, 2021 Members Share Posted June 29, 2021 42 minutes ago, Salyan said: Wow. Alberta has a few in both of the major cities (whether or not you'd want to go to all of them is another question), but otherwise it's a 2-3 hour drive to get to one. Yeah, the closest one near me I know of that is KJV is 29 miles away which I attend. I don't even know of any around me that at least "use" or "prefer" the KJV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Ukulelemike Posted June 29, 2021 Moderators Share Posted June 29, 2021 My church is the only KJV church, and IFB, for 45 miles one way, 60 miles the other way. Sometimes travel is necessary to find a good church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Pastor Matt Posted June 29, 2021 Author Administrators Share Posted June 29, 2021 9 hours ago, SureWord said: IFB church, yes, but a KJV IFB church? There's a IFB church 1 mile from me but the pastor preaches from the ESV. No thank you. Adding "Baptist" churches that are not KJV will add 6 or 7 more churches to my total. With the Northeast being so populated, these churches are needed. Great thing here is that the majority of our IFB churches here work very well together. The closest IFB church to us is 2 miles down the road, and that is our sending church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members deaconpete Posted July 25, 2021 Members Share Posted July 25, 2021 As often as I can! BrotherTony 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.