Repentance unto salvation vs discipleship

[Roselove]

I sometimes can’t quite grasp the difference between these two. 

Jesus says to come unto Him for salvation, but He also says that if someone comes after Him, they must forsake all and pick up their cross. 

I know it’s not a physical seperation of the world or a promise to not sin, but I feel convicted that in order to fully put yourself on Him for salvation, you must see Him as such, to where you could happily run away from everyone/everything in your life. 

People see God in a cruel task-master sort of way and that’s why they don’t trust God enough to fully fling themselves onto Him and off their crutches of their family/friends/whatever keeps them feeling “secure”. They don’t want to forsake all and follow Christ, completely. 

So many say that you only admit you’re a sinner/know only Jesus’s sacrifice can save you, and be willing for Christ to change you, but it appears you have to go into salvation already with the heart of a disciple. That is most definitely what I see God saying when Jesus talks about hating our life/family/etc. 

Fully trusting Him, would mean no doubt when you come to Him for salvation. 

I’m a bit nervous because I still see God as too scary to judt be alone with because I know my heart isn’t totally trusting Him. I feel convicted that I haven’t totally trusted Him, alone and I don’t have total faith that everyone/everything is but loss, compared to Christ. 

People keep saying I’m wrong, but why do I hear God saying this to me?? Why do I feel like God’s saying I’m not saved because I wasn’t in this mind-set when I came to Him for salvation?? 

Please pray and help me understand if I’m misinterpreting something. 

I’m scared and feel helpless. I don’t want to value anything more than, God. But, my wicked heart can’t let go of all and see Him as truly a loving, so much better than anyone/anything God because I’m scared and the Bible says that people with that heart are evil and unsaved. 

Please be honest with me and please pray for discernment on what I need to know. 

[Jordan Kurecki]

Knowimsaved.com

[Roselove]

14 hours ago, Jordan Kurecki said:

Knowimsaved.com

Thank you, that website has a lot of helpful things! I appreciate it!