"Cat" is the first word in CATastrophe

[2bLikeJesus]

The following is a true story about my long gone but beloved cat named "Fuzzface".  

It was Christmas time and as usual I had received a steady stream of boxes from family with gifts.  One box was large with several individually wrapped gifts inside all packed in white styrofoam peanuts.  I was sitting on the living room floor pulling out the individual boxes and of course styrofoam peanuts were getting all over the floor.  My cat was in the other room laying down in a laundry basket full of nice warm, fresh from the dryer, clothes (bad kitty).  When shooed from the laundry basket he came running into the living room and then...CATastrophe!  There was so much static electricity built up in his fur from laying on those dryer clothes that the styrofoam peanuts LEAPED off the floor and attacked him, sticking all over his fur.  Having a hundred small creatures leaping at him did NOT impress my cat and to make it worse, every time he would bat one off it would fly 6 inches and then come right back!  My cat totally lost it then and started running around the room in a full panic howling at the top of his lungs!  I knew I had to do something before he hurt himself or the neighbors called the SPCA to report I was torturing a cat in my apartment.  I knew I had to kill the static electricity on my cats fur and I spotted the spray water bottle on the ironing board.  I grabbed it and started chasing my cat around the room squirting him with water.  This did NOT impress my cat either, but thankfully it worked and the peanuts fell off.  Afterwards, my cat was forever terrified of styrofoam peanuts, being scarred for life.

This fear though actually turned out to have one huge advantage.  My cat was a nightmare every Christmas because he simply could not leave the Christmas tree bulbs alone.  All night he would bat them off the tree and chase them around the house.  Then I thought to put "snow" under the tree using white styrofoam peanuts!  Problem solved!  My cat not only wouldn't get near the tree, he wouldn't even come into the same room as the tree ever again!

Bro. Garry

 

[Jim_Alaska]

Gary,

I think my wife almost had a heart attack from laughing at your cat post. She couldn't even catch her breath. Thanks for a good laugh.

[DaveW]

If I had been drinking my coffee when I read this, I would now have a coffee coloured computer screen.

 

In a similar vein (although far less "enthusiastic") my youngest daughter has made a whole bunch of "Christmas star" decorations out of paper bags, and we hung them from the roof with "blue tack" sticky putty.

Our dog started barking and looking suspiciously at these things, but eventually calmed down - until one fell on him as he walked under it (it is only paper, so it didn't hurt him, but it did surprise him).

He took off like a scaleded cat  Gary's cat.... outside and would not come back inside for anything. When we eventually did manage to coax him back inside, he lurked around with his head down, looking up at these things hanging from the roof like they were going to attack him at any minute, and hightailed it outside again as soon as we would let him.

You have to understand that he is not a small dog by any means, and he has been "an inside dog" since we got him, and he can not bear to be away from people - yet he chose to stay outside rather than tempt the wrath of the paper bag stars. He wouldn't even come near the back door while it was open....

It was only when we locked the door at night (with him inside) and he had no choice that he calmed down a bit, and then he slept in the hallway instead of the family room, because there were no stars in the hallway.

He is over it now, but it was a day's good entertainment.....

Nowhere near as funny as Gary's cat story, but it did keep us entertained.

 

If you don't mind, I think I am going to copy that downa nd read it for our Christmas time fellowship night...... (I will give credit! - you will be world famous!)

Edited December 6, 2016 by DaveW

[2bLikeJesus]

I would be rich right now if I had caught that on video and submitted it to America's Funniest Video's.

[DaveW]

57 minutes ago, 2bLikeJesus said:

I would be rich right now if I had caught that on video and submitted it to America's Funniest Video's.

Or if you sold replacements for coffee stained computer screens. 

[Alan]

Thanks for the cat story!

[Genevanpreacher]

On 12/5/2016 at 5:24 PM, 2bLikeJesus said:

The following is a true story about my long gone but beloved cat named "Fuzzface".  

It was Christmas time and as usual I had received a steady stream of boxes from family with gifts.  One box was large with several individually wrapped gifts inside all packed in white styrofoam peanuts.  I was sitting on the living room floor pulling out the individual boxes and of course styrofoam peanuts were getting all over the floor.  My cat was in the other room laying down in a laundry basket full of nice warm, fresh from the dryer, clothes (bad kitty).  When shooed from the laundry basket he came running into the living room and then...CATastrophe!  There was so much static electricity built up in his fur from laying on those dryer clothes that the styrofoam peanuts LEAPED off the floor and attacked him, sticking all over his fur.  Having a hundred small creatures leaping at him did NOT impress my cat and to make it worse, every time he would bat one off it would fly 6 inches and then come right back!  My cat totally lost it then and started running around the room in a full panic howling at the top of his lungs!  I knew I had to do something before he hurt himself or the neighbors called the SPCA to report I was torturing a cat in my apartment.  I knew I had to kill the static electricity on my cats fur and I spotted the spray water bottle on the ironing board.  I grabbed it and started chasing my cat around the room squirting him with water.  This did NOT impress my cat either, but thankfully it worked and the peanuts fell off.  Afterwards, my cat was forever terrified of styrofoam peanuts, being scarred for life.

This fear though actually turned out to have one huge advantage.  My cat was a nightmare every Christmas because he simply could not leave the Christmas tree bulbs alone.  All night he would bat them off the tree and chase them around the house.  Then I thought to put "snow" under the tree using white styrofoam peanuts!  Problem solved!  My cat not only wouldn't get near the tree, he wouldn't even come into the same room as the tree ever again!

Bro. Garry

 

That was a great giggler Garry! My wife and I enjoyed that!