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Bangoo james

Soul Mates versus Arranged Marriages

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1 hour ago, Bangoo james said:

In the end, if God arranges marriages shouldn't be them perfect? Why is that that these are not?

Hello Bangoo James and welcome! I hope you find some good advice on this forum.

I'm not married, but I feel if God really put that special person in your life to marry, then that is a great thing, even though it won't be perfect. I think what's more important is knowing that God is, and that His glory can be shown to the world by your love for Him and each other. How much better could it really get on earth? Maybe having children and grandchildren that also become saved and live holy lives that glorify Jesus' name?

Proverbs 20:7   "The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him."

I met a couple from India once that were an arranged marriage, they got to meet each other for 5 minutes once before they got married, It was completely decided by the parents. That's sounds a lot different than your story. 

Edited by Wmccarthy99

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The examples you cite of arranged marriages indicates that God is not against the concetpt.

It is not the normal way in many societies, and indeed I married the woman of my choice based on my feelings of love (and a conviction that the Lord brought us together).

I do see one advantage of arranged marriages - you know from the start that you have to work at it, that it won't all be easy.

Many people get married based on romantic love thinking it will always be that way, but it is not. That's when people often get divorced - when the "love" stops. They don't undetstand that real love is more than feelings and marriage takes work to make it work.

Having said that, we do not intend to arrange our kids marriages, but we have been trying to teach them that a godly marriage takes hard work, and real love grows from that effort (with a lot of help from the Lord.)

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7 hours ago, Bangoo james said:

IMO you are pretty much dead on with what you know already. Go with your idea.

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Realize that if you (and/or) she ask for parents to be on the lookout for a godly spouse and they find one --- and both you and she decide you are wanting to marry one another ------------- that is NOT an arranged marriage. Now if you have NO choice nor say in the matter ----- THAT is an arranged marriage.

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I think one thing we can learn from the Bible is that there is no one particular required way when it comes to finding a spouse. Some people God told who to marry, some had marriages arranged by family or friends (or Pharoah!), some married someone of their own choice (whether with or without parental blessing), some married childhood friends, some married absolute strangers! The only constant we are told is that the person we marry must be a believer - of the same mind when it comes to salvation and doctrine. Your view of marriage & finding a spouse seems to be a very Biblical one.

To be honest, I'm a little jealous of y'all - how neat that your parents got involved and actually found someone for you to marry! That kind of active participation by a single person's family & community is sorely lacking over here.

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I think the reason why arranged marriages also work is because the couple work hard together for the family and for their offsprings. There might not be love at first, but they build love upon the foundations of their marriage,

To be honest, I am a little bit jealous of people who found love within an arranged marriage. I have put love first before fortifying the relationship and it got me nowhere but heartbreak.

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