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Wmccarthy99

Unbelieving family

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I hope someone on here can help shed some light on this for me since I have heard so many different answers to this that I'm honestly very confused about this. No one in my family believes in Jesus Christ, does that mean I must cut ties with them? It doesn't really make sense that one of the ten commandments would be "Honour thy father and thy mother" and then God would then tell us to not associate with them anymore because they don't believe. I am 26 and had to move back in with my parents because I don't make enough to move out again yet. I don't engage with their sinful behavior, and talk to them about Christ all the time ( they are not interested  :( ). After I first became a believer I read an article somewhere that references 2 Cor 6:14 that said I should completely cut ties with my family. I believed it and told my parents I was leaving and couldn't talk to them anymore and it had my parents in hysterics. I have since been told that this is not the case but it has always stayed with me and It seems sometimes that I'm to attached to my parents and my dog and that Jesus wants me to leave that all behind to follow him.

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It would be best for you to get out on your own as soon as you can. That doesn't mean you have to cut all ties after moving out. Simply be careful about the influence your unsaved family has upon you and if need be, limit the amount of time you spend with them. We don't have to continually try to persuade them to come to Christ but we should make certain our lives witness our life in Christ. Be helpful and respectful and if possible share some of the good things Christ is doing in your life.

My family is lost and has no interest in hearing the Gospel or anything about "religion". My Dad can't talk without cussing and his most used terms are blasphemous which really grieves me (I say a silent prayer each time he blasphemes, which is a lot). For this reason I don't spend a lot of time with my Dad but I try to make sure the time I do spend with him is helpful time.

Pray for your family daily. Pray the Lord will send that someone into their lives the Holy Ghost can use to bring them to salvation in Christ.

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1 hour ago, John81 said:

It would be best for you to get out on your own as soon as you can. That doesn't mean you have to cut all ties after moving out. Simply be careful about the influence your unsaved family has upon you and if need be, limit the amount of time you spend with them. We don't have to continually try to persuade them to come to Christ but we should make certain our lives witness our life in Christ. Be helpful and respectful and if possible share some of the good things Christ is doing in your life.

My family is lost and has no interest in hearing the Gospel or anything about "religion". My Dad can't talk without cussing and his most used terms are blasphemous which really grieves me (I say a silent prayer each time he blasphemes, which is a lot). For this reason I don't spend a lot of time with my Dad but I try to make sure the time I do spend with him is helpful time.

Pray for your family daily. Pray the Lord will send that someone into their lives the Holy Ghost can use to bring them to salvation in Christ.

Thank you John, That helps a lot to hear that. I pray for them every night and throughout the day.

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. It is really hard to see how comfortable lost parents are, they just see it as maybe some little fling I have or just another "religion". The truth is I am a horrible witness to them as since I have excepted Christ my life has been full of dark depressing times. They have both noticed this and I just hope it isn't making them even more opposed to the gospel than before. I've always felt that I need to leave them behind and just get the feeling that being with them so much is tying me to this world.

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13 hours ago, Wmccarthy99 said:

Thank you John, That helps a lot to hear that. I pray for them every night and throughout the day.

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. It is really hard to see how comfortable lost parents are, they just see it as maybe some little fling I have or just another "religion". The truth is I am a horrible witness to them as since I have excepted Christ my life has been full of dark depressing times. They have both noticed this and I just hope it isn't making them even more opposed to the gospel than before. I've always felt that I need to leave them behind and just get the feeling that being with them so much is tying me to this world.

I was saved 35 years ago this year and some in my family still wonder when I'm going to stop this "religion stuff". Early on I witnessed to them a lot but to no avail. Things finally got so tense it was best for me to say no more, unless one of them brought something up. Since then I pray the Lord will send someone to them they will hear. My family doesn't really care about "religion" and some of them were baptized years ago and think that will get them into heaven, others have the "I'm better than most people so I'll go to heaven" idea.

We stay in touch, I'm there when they need help. I spend about an hour with my Dad several days a week, but for the most part I limit our contact.

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Ask yourself this: if you don't speak to your family, how in the world will you be able to witness to them? And if you cut them out of your life because they won't bend to your will, how in the world does that speak of the love of the Father for them? You represent God to them right now, and what you do and say will be how they think of Him. 

You are in a difficult situation because of needing to live with them for this time and because they do not share your faith. However, you brought up a good point: you are to honor your parents.

Honoring does not mean obeying, because once a child is grown they are released from obedience, but never from honor. How can you honor your parents? By being respectful to them - in your words and in your actions. You honor them by being the very best man you can be - because that is what they raised you to be. 

You do not have to abandon your parents (or even your dog) in order to follow Christ. In fact, if you abandon either your parents or your dog, you are abdicating responsibility - something which is not biblical.

Continue honoring your parents and taking care of your responsibilities (like the dog) and obeying scripture. Speak of Christ to your parents whenever possible. Speak of other things, too, things in which they are interested.

Let them know you love them by your deeds as well as your words. Pray for them constantly and let them know you are praying. 

I agree with John that it would be best for you to find your own place when you are able. In this economy, it is harder and harder to do so, but ask the Lord to lead you in that way and He will.

 

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On ‎6‎/‎10‎/‎2016 at 11:23 PM, HappyChristian said:

Ask yourself this: if you don't speak to your family, how in the world will you be able to witness to them? And if you cut them out of your life because they won't bend to your will, how in the world does that speak of the love of the Father for them? You represent God to them right now, and what you do and say will be how they think of Him. 

You are in a difficult situation because of needing to live with them for this time and because they do not share your faith. However, you brought up a good point: you are to honor your parents.

Honoring does not mean obeying, because once a child is grown they are released from obedience, but never from honor. How can you honor your parents? By being respectful to them - in your words and in your actions. You honor them by being the very best man you can be - because that is what they raised you to be. 

You do not have to abandon your parents (or even your dog) in order to follow Christ. In fact, if you abandon either your parents or your dog, you are abdicating responsibility - something which is not biblical.

Continue honoring your parents and taking care of your responsibilities (like the dog) and obeying scripture. Speak of Christ to your parents whenever possible. Speak of other things, too, things in which they are interested.

Let them know you love them by your deeds as well as your words. Pray for them constantly and let them know you are praying. 

I agree with John that it would be best for you to find your own place when you are able. In this economy, it is harder and harder to do so, but ask the Lord to lead you in that way and He will.

 

Wow that is a very helpful comment and received at such a perfect time. Thank you very much.

 I am trying to find a place still, and probably will be able to very soon, as soon as the right place opens up.

 

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6 hours ago, Wmccarthy99 said:

Wow that is a very helpful comment and received at such a perfect time. Thank you very much.

 I am trying to find a place still, and probably will be able to very soon, as soon as the right place opens up.

 

I'm glad, and you're welcome. As to finding a place, don't be in a major rush. Pray for guidance and trust the Lord and He'll bring the right place at the right time. And that will be a testimony to your parents as well.

Proverbs 3:5,6 are verses that my hubby and I claim and cling to, and I think they are very apropos to your situation:

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In ALL thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."

Lean on His Word and His leading, trust Him completely, and in ALL of your ways. That would include your dealings with your parents AND if/when and where to find a place. He promises that when we do that, He SHALL direct us. Perfect assurance of perfect guidance, when we get ourselves out of the way.

Exciting times ahead for you as you completely throw yourself on Him and He makes Himself more real than ever to you!

 

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10 minutes ago, HappyChristian said:

I'm glad, and you're welcome. As to finding a place, don't be in a major rush. Pray for guidance and trust the Lord and He'll bring the right place at the right time. And that will be a testimony to your parents as well.

Proverbs 3:5,6 are verses that my hubby and I claim and cling to, and I think they are very apropos to your situation:

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In ALL thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."

Lean on His Word and His leading, trust Him completely, and in ALL of your ways. That would include your dealings with your parents AND if/when and where to find a place. He promises that when we do that, He SHALL direct us. Perfect assurance of perfect guidance, when we get ourselves out of the way.

Exciting times ahead for you as you completely throw yourself on Him and He makes Himself more real than ever to you!

 

A big thank you again. My bible has a few pages in it with pictures of nature, and a verse somewhere on the page, and one of them is Proverbs 3:6 and it's been a verse I've been clinging too lately.

I think I have a really hard time discerning what is a leading from the Holy Spirit and what is just a lie, and this has been a big problem in my walk. Thank God for His Word! It becomes more and more important to me everyday!

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Amen, Wm. And the more important God's Word becomes to you, the less and less the dark, depressing times will come. 

We are told in scripture of a dark, depressing time in the life of David. In 1 Samuel 30, we read of the time that David and his men returned to Ziklag and found it destroyed and their families stolen. They were grieved deeply, and even spoke of stoning David. But verse 6 tells us that David encouraged himself in the LORD. And then he sought God's guidance, followed it - and won a great victory. Read the chapter - it's exciting!

When the dark tries to rear its head, encourage yourself in the Lord. Find and memorize scripture that speaks of praising the Lord (keep cards with those verses written on them at hand). Memorize some good hymns that are praise-filled so that when the darkness begins you can sing praise as well.

You will begin to notice a difference in yourself, and so will your parents. Joy, Wm. The joy of the Lord is our strength. Memorizing God's Word, keeping it at hand and encouraging ourselves in the Lord are all parts of the beginnings of joy. (and that leads to the discernment we need to know the truth from a lie!)

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Wm, as I was having my devotions this morning, God brought you to mind. A verse was given that struck me and so I went in to look at the context.

In Luke 8, we are given the account of the demoniac of Gadera. Jesus cast the devils out of the man, and we are told that he was then in his right mind. In his joy at being healed, he "besought him that he might be with him." But we are told that Jesus said no. He told him: "Return to thine own house, and shew how great things God hath done unto thee." (verse 39)

Jesus was sending him home. Now, we are not told whether this man was living with his parents or whether he was married and had a family. We do know that Jesus told him to go home and show his family the great things God had done to him.

It doesn't sound like Jesus was telling him to cut ties, does it? :thumb:

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12 hours ago, HappyChristian said:

Wm, as I was having my devotions this morning, God brought you to mind. A verse was given that struck me and so I went in to look at the context.

In Luke 8, we are given the account of the demoniac of Gadera. Jesus cast the devils out of the man, and we are told that he was then in his right mind. In his joy at being healed, he "besought him that he might be with him." But we are told that Jesus said no. He told him: "Return to thine own house, and shew how great things God hath done unto thee." (verse 39)

Jesus was sending him home. Now, we are not told whether this man was living with his parents or whether he was married and had a family. We do know that Jesus told him to go home and show his family the great things God had done to him.

It doesn't sound like Jesus was telling him to cut ties, does it? :thumb:

Wow Thank you HappyChristian! I've never seen that like that before. I really love that story because it also shows Christ's patience with unbelievers that turn their ears at first from the gospel. 

Before I became a Christian I was being convicted for about 3 years about my life that was separate from God, and at one point in my walk I felt absolutely horrible about hardening my heart for so long, to the point where I even misunderstood a verse in Hebrews about falling away and not be able to repent. Anyways this story of the demon possessed man in Luke was one of the things that helped me out of that. 

 

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On 6/5/2016 at 8:04 PM, Wmccarthy99 said:

I hope someone on here can help shed some light on this for me since I have heard so many different answers to this that I'm honestly very confused about this. No one in my family believes in Jesus Christ, does that mean I must cut ties with them? It doesn't really make sense that one of the ten commandments would be "Honour thy father and thy mother" and then God would then tell us to not associate with them anymore because they don't believe. I am 26 and had to move back in with my parents because I don't make enough to move out again yet. I don't engage with their sinful behavior, and talk to them about Christ all the time ( they are not interested  :( ). After I first became a believer I read an article somewhere that references 2 Cor 6:14 that said I should completely cut ties with my family. I believed it and told my parents I was leaving and couldn't talk to them anymore and it had my parents in hysterics. I have since been told that this is not the case but it has always stayed with me and It seems sometimes that I'm to attached to my parents and my dog and that Jesus wants me to leave that all behind to follow him.

Unsaved family are  'of this world', it's ok to mix with them just not christian fellowship.

1 Corinthians 5:9-12  I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? Unsaved Family are with out the body.

So we can even 'company' with fornicators of this world.

God Bless

 

 

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