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WellWithMySoul

Saved And I Know It!

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WellwithMySoul,

Amen! Thank you, thank you, thank you, for that fine testimony.

Brethren, we all need to be more zealous in our walk with the Lord, passing out tracts, witnessing, and "... earnestly  contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints." Jude 3

Please continue .......:goodpost:

 

Edited by Alan
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Saved And I Know It (Part 2)

I was a very sad and lonely little girl, and my heart was so full of confusion and hurt. Often on summer evenings, I would go sit on the nearby meat market steps and toss pebbles and watch the cars go by on the highway. We lived in a dinky little town with a population of about 325, and so even though I was pretty little I still recognized most of the cars that would go by. There was something comforting about sitting out there and watching people go by. I would sit there and think about I don't know what, and my heart would just ache...but I really didn't understand why. There was a lot of sadness in my family, and a great deal of dysfunction which included abuse. As a little girl that's all that I knew, and so I thought it was all normal and that, that was the way home life was for everyone.

A wonderful highlight during those days however, were the visits from my Great Aunt Mary! She had been a school teacher and she loved children. I always felt "safe" around her, and I sensed that she loved me. I knew that my folks cared about me in their own way, but I never felt secure in that care. In essence, the visits from Great Aunt Mary were way too few and far between, and so I never really understood what it was like to truly know that I was loved as a child. Two of the most basic human needs in this life are to "be loved" and to "be accepted", and my childhood had a huge void of both. Thus...I didn't have an understanding of the love that God had for me.

My teen years were fraught with troubles and misery. My hurt ran so deeply that at the age of 14, I tried to take my own life. I ended up in the hospital for the night, and was embarrassed and ashamed...but only my future mother in law came to visit me there. She didn't know what to say, but did her best to "be there" for me. Other than her visit...I had no comfort or support or help from anyone else. No one talked about it even though I could feel the tension beneath the surface. I felt so very, very alone. After that, I turned to alcohol and smoking and whatever I could to help drown and numb my aching heart. It's amazing that the alcohol was so available to teenagers at that time. I was so "messed up", my mind was in constant turmoil, and I was very depressed. Though I still attended church, I just didn't have the personal encouragement and teaching and help that I so needed to trust and depend on the blessed Saviour to fill those gaping holes of emptiness. I knew there was something desperately wrong with me, but I kept everything all bottled up inside.

As I type this, tears are beginning to fill my eyes as gratefulness is flooding in yet again for my precious Jesus, the Spirit, my God....because during all of those years, He never left me. He never forgot about me, and He never stopped loving me. He was so full of longsuffering and mercy, and He was so tender hearted towards me in spite of my sinful living.

At the age of 17, and before my senior year in high school...I was engaged to be married. I had the strong feeling that my fiance's family didn't at all "approve" of me because of the unGodly state of my life. My future father in law was the pastor of my church, and that enhanced my feelings of not being "good enough" for his son. It was the opposite with my family! They were delighted that I was engaged to my fiance because they actually thought he was too good for me and yet still that I was "moving up" in the world. Being engaged to this boy made me feel a little bit better about myself however...because after all, I was going to marry a PK!

Once again, I will conclude this part of my testimony by saying that I still had no understanding, no comprehension of God's love for me at that time of my life. As the Lord leads and opportunes me, I will continue sharing my testimony again soon.

 

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3 hours ago, 2ndTimothy said:

I especially like this because I reap the blessings of her loving the Lord so much. I will try to add more later and share some of my own testimony. I am grateful God provided her for me. He knew how much I need her.

So Brother "2ndTimothy," (if I am following the hints correctly) are you Sister "WellWithMySoul's" husband?

If you are not, I do utterly apologize both to you and to her for misunderstanding.

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:) Indeed, Pastor Markle...2ndTimothy is one and the same PK that I spoke of in the 2nd part of my testimony.  He doesn't always have time to come in to OB, but I will let him know that you asked so that he can respond to you directly.

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Saved And I Know It (Part 3)

A few months after graduating from high school this particular PK and I were married. His dad performed the ceremony, but I must say that neither my new husband nor I were walking with and living for the Lord as we should've been. Before we were married my soon to be husband had enlisted in the military, and was stationed in Germany. A few months after our marriage I joined him overseas to begin our first home there. It was a very "enlightening" time so far from home, and we were so very young. We were both quite naive about financial matters even though we had both worked, but that naivety was enhanced living in a foreign country off-base. Needless to say, we struggled to pay our bills and so the next year I flew back to "the world" (the military overseas called the US this). Soon after returning, it was confirmed that we were going to have our first child.

It was then, that I sensed the urgency of making some major changes in my life. I was so very happy and delighted that I was in "the family way", but in my heart the convictions to return to the Lord weighed heavily. Indeed, I saw the utmost importance of forsaking the sinful life that I'd been living... not only for myself, but for this brand new life that the Lord had blessed me with. With a renewed mind and repented heart, I "charged" into living for the Saviour the best that I knew how to, and could. I took the Bible very seriously and desired to be obedient to it. Faithfully, I attended church and did my best to "study to shew myself approved unto God". I started reading the Word, and I began to grow in knowledge and understanding...be it rather slowly, but at least surely. Not long before our little one arrived, my husband had returned stateside and being on inactive duty from the military, got a job to support our new little family. Our first born son arrived and as I laid in the hospital bed, I will never forget the thrill and wonder of my thoughts and the reality that now I was a mom! More than ever I knew the utmost importance of the need to be walking with my Lord so that my child would grow and learn of Him and to choose to be saved.

Within 7 years time I had given birth to 3 more babies, and had lost 2 other precious little ones. Teaching my babes about the Lord was a definite priority, but there was still something that wasn't quite right in my heart. As I read the Word and gleaned knowledge from it, I still had no understanding of God's love for me. I also didn't understand truly what joy or what that "peace that passes all understanding" was. I began praying and pleading with the Lord to "please show me these things that I would KNOW them in my heart". I desperately wanted to know what they were (notice that they are the first 3 "fruits of the Spirit"), so that I could not only verbally teach my children about them, but to also be a living example of them.

Through the years I continued to grow and learn about the Lord, yet that understanding about love, joy, and peace didn't come. I prayed, and prayed that the Lord would grant understanding. The love I had for my husband was amazing, and the "mother's love" I had for my babies was almost unspeakable. Yes, I prayed and prayed for years concerning this great sad void that still permeated my heart. Why wasn't the Lord responding to me? I knew it was His will that I should understand these things, and He blessedly answered so many other prayers, but He seemed so far away concerning these wondrous gifts of the Spirit. Why was my Lord holding back? Why was He so silent in this area?

Little did I know....

*****

(Part 4 will follow soon.)

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4 hours ago, WellWithMySoul said:

I'm so very glad that now I can be reminded of my once depraved state and sing with much gratefulness about His awesome and amazing grace! Now it doesn't fail that tears fill my eyes whenever I sing, "It will be worth it all when we see Jesus, Life's trials will seem so small when we see Christ; One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase, So bravely run the race till we see Christ". Regardless of the circumstances of my life, He has blessed me with the understanding that as His child it is always "well with my soul"! It is well because I'm Heaven bound, sanctified, redeemed, regenerated, justified, accepted in the beloved, sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, plus a myriad of the other glorious things that took place the instant I was saved. None of the circumstances of this life can change any of those acts of God....for I am "saved, saved, saved by His power divine"!

Thank you for all of the wonderful words to express the forgiveness that God gave us and that we can extend to others.

Once we go through the trials of life, and experience the wonders of salvation, mercy, forgiveness, and a forgiving heart, God gives a song in our hearts.

May God bless you for relating to us your testimony.

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