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​Hi thanks for all your reply sorry I didn't have time to reply to everyone's post.

Im in my early 30's now.

1. Well, were still friends and nothing has changed about my relationship with him except he made things clear to our pastor. And by the way, he has those standards our pastor agreed with them like a spiritual matured woman. Honestly, Im not that spiritually deep (I consider myself).. not that knowledgeable theologically

2. Criteria - Godly woman, and to fix my situation in our family's house (like if I were to be his wife since he wants his house open to Christian brethren its difficult to share the house w/ my brother since the inheritance (will) my brother will inherit the house, while I get a little share of the money. If I will not have a house that is difficult according to him, and to be living with my brother since my brother is an unbeliever.

3. I was a former R.Catholic

5. Because here in my country the pastor's not really well-paid so I must be willing to be the bread-winner since I'm earning reasonably at present

6. brothers and sister no romantic side on him, but I really like him so friendship relationship thing between the two of us.

7. His personal life, past relationship, secrets, I know coz' he told me

8. College years of his life up to his early and late 30;s

​It means little what I say past exhorting you to seek God through his word and prayer...genuinely, contritely, and with humility.

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  • 1 month later...
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Hi everyone.. guess you remember me to all those who posted in the thread that I started wayback.

Im back! still the same as before...

Well, the guy that I've mentioned (still the same guy 2014). Well, here's an update. Our pastor and his wife invited us for a chat. Since they're concerned about me since Im a member of our church, and the guy that I like (he's studying in a bible college taking up masteral, by faith because his savings went to different people who asked for his help that they will borrow his money and return it when they're able to pay him, he sold his small business because it is not God honoring according to him, and he's changing his ways). At present he's unemployed he doesn't want to get a job because he can't manage a full-time job because according to him, he's studying and does part-time/volunteer preaching in our church (sometimes he's invited in neighboring churches).

 

​Please know that I'm saying this out of concern and not in a condescending tone.

This is a major problem...especially if he's studying God's word...and especially if his mind is already made up on this. The Bible is clear...

1Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

It's the man's responsibility to provide for his family; if he doesn't, he's denied the faith and is worse than a lost heathen. I realize that there are circumstances; in which, a man may be unable to provide for his family...such as major medical problems; however, if the man is physically able, it's his responsibility...not the wife's.

If you care for this man, pray that he will come to this realization before you marry him.

​I agree with NN (as well as the others) here. I work full-time, study at seminary full-time, and also have three small children (ages 3, 19 months, and 1 month) that demand every spare moment I have (which I gladly give them!). I still manage to teach every Sunday, do the occasional sermon, sing, go out soulwinning at least once a week, and disciple a young man trying to turn his life around after prison.

He either needs to learn to better manage his time or he's not trying. I honestly think that needs to be fixed before any relationship is pursued because if he doesn't have time to work now, he certainly won't have time to meet your needs.

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  • 1 month later...
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I am afraid that this man is simply using you.  Right now he has a free meal ticket.  I would be greatly surprised that he would marry you even if you did meet all his standards.  Once he gets his degree I suspect you will be left high and dry.  If he has no interest in marriage, walk away.  This bit about I'm not interested in marriage because I can't support a family doing God's work -- BUT he's going to seminary on faith for God to provide???  If he can go to seminary on faith (which he isn't, he is using you and stringing you along to keep financing his studies) then he can marry and raise a family on faith.  I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I have talked to other ladies online in similar situations and after being strung along for a couple years it always came crashing down around them.  One even found out her fellow was using two other girls for the same thing she didn't even know about.  They each thought they were the only one in his life and waiting for him to marry them.  A man of God is above reproach and will honor and treasure the woman he intends to make his wife.  You are simply a tool.  None of us is perfect.  I did not meet all the godly woman critieria and my husband did not meet all the godly man standards, but we both loved God, were striving to be better Christians, desired to be in ministry and God led us to one another.  If it was necessary for me to work outside the home to help my husband, I would do it, but my husband wanted me to be at home, raising our child, and God always blessed and provided for us.  If it is God's will it will work out.  But sometimes we want what we want despite all the "red flags" that pop up and are pointed out to us, and we go after what we want, and it ends in disaster.  I would distance myself from him and begin praying that God show you what the character of this man truly is and what His desire for your life is.  "Put out your fleece" so to speak and ask for definite confirmation one way or the other if you are to wait and support this man or move on.

2Th 3:7 For yourselves know how ye ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you;

2Th 3:8 Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you:

2Th 3:9 Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an ensample unto you to follow us.

2Th 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

2Th 3:11 For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.

2Th 3:12 Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread.

2Th 3:13 But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing.

2Th 3:14 And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.

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