By Bangoo james
I am a 20 young christian electrical engineer (studying at a Polytechnic University + working in Electrical Power Systems) from Europe, and I want to ask you for some godly advice concerning marriage, more exactly arranged marriages.
First of all, before I say something about this, I want to ask if God has picked a spouse for everyone. The idea for me is that there is no specific Bible verse or passage that speaks of God picking specific persons for us to marry. There are four examples, Adam, Isaac, Hosea and Joseph, concerning God arranging marriages but all of these were special circumstances and I don't see how can we build a doctrine on special interventios of God to stipulate that He arranges marriages. The Bible speaks of finding wife but it also says that a good spouse is a gift from God. Apostle Paul says if someone decides freely in his heart then to marry his duaghter and in the following verse he also says that if someone single decides the same then he also should get married. Moreover, God through the Holy Spirit advised us to choose not to marry, saying that he who marries does god but he who not does better because he is concerned with God's work and not with pleasing a spouse. He also wants to spare us from the hardship of marriage and life. He recommends us virginity and celibacy and seeking the Kingdom but also encourages us to marry due to immorality. I for one don't have this gift and I know for sure that I can't stand to be single in celibacy so I will get married. Moreover, Bible talks about Abraham taking a wife, Judah taking a wife etc. Proverbs 31 was written for helping young men find a good godly wife. I agree that God guides us through the Holy Spirit and gives us wisdom to seek and find a wife. The Bible says that we should inform God of our plans and intentions and He will bring things to pass. But it is one thing to say that God guides us and something else to say that He is picking spouses for everyone. It is certain for me that the story of soul mates is mythical and originates from movies, romantic novels and from Plato's philosophy. There are some logical problems I find with this issue. If God picks someone for everybody what happens if the person dies? Isn't the story of soul mates wrong? Because Bible encourages remarrying after the spouse's death. But what if one chooses the life of celibacy even if he is not gifted with this? What will happen than? What's the point of love then if God arranges everything? Who is to blame because so many young men and women are not yet married and is not sure that they will ever be? And moreover the Bible says that love is a choice and not a sentiment based on feelings. It involves feelings but basicaly is not this. It is strange because if we carefully put into action the biblical pattern for love and marriage roles described by Paul then we could get married with anyone and have the most happiest marriage from all times. And if we're honest, I think that in the end everybody chooses freely to marry with someone not because God said them to do so. There are examples of people that are saying that their marriaged was arranged by God and I don't know what to say than just affirm that there is no biblical support that God promised or sweared to us that He will arrange our marriages. Better is to say that God is guiding them through the Holy Spirit and helping in the process of finding someone to marry. In the end, if God arranges marriages shouldn't be them perfect? Why is that that these are not? I am saying all these to you because as I've said I am on the point of having an arranged marriage and I am very concerned to do God's will in my life. It was not our parents idea of arranged marriage, but ours: we at some point in life (each one individually) told our parents to look for a spouse for us and from this particular point things evolved until her parents found me and my parents found her. It is not a forced marriage neither from me nor from her. We have freely decided to marry each other and there is no pressure from our parents to act this way so we are not forced into marriage. I want to kindly ask for some godly advice concerning this idea that God has specific persons in His mind for us. It would be against God's will if we would have an arranged marriage? From what Scripture says I think not and more than that there is good biblical suport that God will bless our marriage giving the fact that we will be marrying in the Lord. Thank you for your attention and I hope that we will be in touch very soon. I am looking forward for your answer. Yours sincerely, Stephen
1 Thes. 4:9 But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.
15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Romans 14:19, 1 Cor, 10:24, all of 1 Cor. 13, 1 Cor 16:14, Gal. 6:10, Eph. 4:1-6, Col 3:12-15, 1 Thes. 5:11
I'm sure there are many many more such verses.
Just wondering... if someone "new" came here today, or yesterday, or last week, or maybe last month... and peeked in on the conversations going on in the forums. What would that person think?
Would that person think... "Oh, this looks like a wonderful place for fellowship"?
What would the Lord think? He already knows... (Luke 12:2, et al.)
2 Tim 3 lists some attitudes and actions of people in the "last days". We really can expect to see these attitudes/actions in these perilous times, and what little time left to come (prior to God's wrath) from worldly/unsaved people.
Lately... and not just here on this forum, but across almost ALL Bible study forums these days I wonder are these people brothers and sisters in Christ? REALLY?
Or are these people each respectively claiming to know ALL the word of God has to teach them, and any discussion about ANY given verse (set of verses in context) with a smidgen of a thought which is contrary to their own they cry HERESY!!!!
What does the word say about this?
5 And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another.
6 And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it.
7 For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.
So far, I have not yet heard anyone here say (so far thank the Lord) that Jesus has not come in the flesh!!! Now THAT would be a really good reason to not receive that person, to not allow them into your house, to not wish the God speed (travelling mercies), etc.
BUT seems like whatever the topic is here... there is a LOT of name-calling and personal derogatory remarks made towards people who are supposed to be brothers and sisters in Christ.
Just wondering, if a person brings forth a scripture, and each person then discusses their belief/understanding of said scripture, and if all do not agree... why then is there a need for name-calling and derogatory remarks?
Does anyone think that name calling and derogatory remarks will change the other person's opinion about their stance on that verse (or set of verses)?
Do comments have to be made like this: "So little understanding of scripture", Or another claiming in a condescending tone that only their understanding of the scripture is indeed the correct one?
and remarks like "Don't you go stepping on our party yet please. I am curious what the answers are. Then you can get ganged up on"
I'm not perfect either... I've got pulled into this tug-of-war more than once with personal attacks on my physical status (but was apologized to by ONE very kind brother in Christ). And I also have snapped right back when name-calling starts.
then there are people placed on "ignore", and there is one person here I have yet to see say a kind comment to anyone!
We shouldn't be doing these kinds of things... that's what the worldly/unsaved people do! We don't want to model ourselves after them do we????
Why can't this forum be a place to DISCUSS and if we do disagree, do so in a civil, Christian fashion?
Would it not be more Christ-like to bring forth (with scripture) reasons why you do not agree (as some I've seen do on here) WITHOUT getting to the name-calling, and/or derogatory remarks?
I have come to appreciate the mods stepping in and restoring order to what seems to be a bunch of kindergartners... and I admit that I myself once made a statement to a mod which was WAY out of line! (And I now want to publicly apologize to "Ukelele MiKe" for the comment I made in regard to post-trib/pre-wrath view.
I will be honest... when I came here I TRULY thought that ALL Independent Fundamental Baptists were taught the SAME way I had been, had read and studied and come (at least close to) the same conclusions I had. WOW was I wrong! Many others here have admitted they were rudely awakened to the fact that not ALL IFB churches teach the exact same things. I would even hazard to guess that MOST IFB churches have at least ONE teaching contrary to YOUR OWN (each of us individually). And yes, that was a hard thing to deal with right off the batt, but now that I've realized it, I still stay and attempt to fellowship with others, even though everyone else's understanding of scripture is not the exact same as my own.
I'm sure this forum COULD be a place where every single person agrees with every single verse in scripture (likely IF there was only ONE member).
Why can't verses be discussed in a civil manner by all parties involved?
Disagree... fine, but can't we disagree without claiming "I am in fact "right" and you are in fact "wrong"? And the name-calling, trying to associate someone with a person or group with whom they are not affiliated (and in some cases never even HEARD of... I was called a name once and had to look up what/who the reference even was).
I don't think ANY hearts and minds will be convinced of anything that way...
Let me let you in on a little secret... there are people who come here, and plenty of IFB even, and NEVER post. WHY? Because they fear beig torn to shreds by whom? By supposed Christian brothers and sisters!!!
They don't leave here edified, they leave here quickly as possible to try to find another place to fellowship with other brothers/sisters who are a bit more mature in their actions and attitudes, a bit more brotherly/sisterly.
Just something to think about. I'm sure it won't matter what I say anyways... as there are some who already deem themselves far superior in knowledge to me and have deemed me _______ (fill in the blank, I could find plenty of names which have already been called here).
One last piece of advice... even if you are 100% sure that EVERYTHING you believe and say is true about every verse in the Bible, you sure aren't going to be able to teach anyone your "perfect" belief by calling them names, ridiculing them, and making derogatory remarks to them. Think about it... who is the last person on earth you would want to take advice from? Someone who patiently explains their point of view to you, or someone who calls you names because you don't agree with their point of view?
I know that it has been a while since I have activly participated in the forums, but whenever i apply to seek permission to join one I keep getting denied becaise I "don't meet the minumum requirements. What are the minimum requirements?
My fellow Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I am seeking scripture that speaks out against my topic. I do not believe that God would come to another induvidual and tell them something that he had intended for the person being told to find out. Here is what I am facing; my relationship of a month shy of two years was ruined by a woman who told my significant other that "God told her that she needed to end our relationship." I cannot blame my Girlfriend for listening to her do to the fact that I am out numbered in this fight. Her Mom, Sister, and Grandparents share the same penocostal holiness faith. She is not that way herself, however her mind could be swayed when the core of her family is in support of this. The woman who told her to do this is a Second cousin whom is more like an Aunt to her and they have always been close. She is the second wife to a man (her third marrige herself) who pastors a church in our area. His congregation is being led by him unknowing of his past life...I guess he doesn't read the book of Timothy...however thats a different discussion. I need verses and most of all prayers because the only way that her and I can make it back together is by God's touch. Thank you friends!
By Guest Joshua Berndt
Please tell me of your issues where you have found something that seems like it is a contradiction in the Bible or a passage that gives you a problem. I can try to answer it. I may already know the answer. For years, I have researched these and I like to study Biblical archaeology and the Israeli ancient culture, which often gives answers to these issues. There are NO errors in the King James Version. It is always reader error or ignorance of the issue(s) involved. When I couldn't find an answer, I tried to put it on the "back burner" and wait, in faith, for an answer.
Please note that if others have asked me questions and several are piling up, to wait until I have answered them to add your own. That way I don't get swamped. Thanks.
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