To give up homeschooling feels like failing

[dmedicinus]

Our family is considering moving, and our new church would have a school. I overheard my husband talk about that as a blessing, meaning for the first time ever I would not be homeschooling. That breaks my heart, and I sort of feel like a failure if I don't. But after grading today I also feel like I am failing my kids. Prayers needed for direction for my family.

[DaveW]

In my experience, homeschooling mums tend have times where they feel like they have failed their kids - not many actually are.

If you feel like it is part of your ministry, then talk to hubby and tell him that. He is probably thinking that you would appreciate the break..... after all, homeschooling is tough. 

[Alan]

My wife and I homeschooled, both in the States, and on the mission field, our seven children and know somewhat how you feel.

One year though in the States, while on furlough, and  with our last two children left in the nest, we were able to have those two children in a church school. We considered it a blessing and it helped relieve us of undue responsibilities at the house. As a whole we are glad we did it as all seven children are doing just fine and love the Lord. We did not do the best job as teachers, and the two children probably learned more in that one year at the church school than at home. Most parents are not as good as full-time teachers, but, the children understand the sitiuation also and know that you did the best your could.

Perhaps the husband is thinking of the wife's wefare and the children's? The Lord Jesus commended the woman who annointed His body with these encouraging words for us all, "She hath done what she could." Mark 14:8 The wife needs to be commended and thanked.

 

 

Edited April 7, 2015 by Alan10
grammer

[John81]

Prayer is certainly the best first step in deciding whether to go with the church school or continue homeschooling.

We had a tough time with our oldest son who had a rebellious spirit from very early on. We often felt as if we weren't educating him well enough. He decided to take the GED test shortly before he turned 18 so he could have the GED to take with him when he moved to Florida. He passed every point of the GED test with very high scores.

Our youngest son took an assessment test a few years ago, which my wife was worried would show he was behind, and he passed the test beyond all expectations.

All that to say it's easy to think we aren't doing enough in educating our children when it's often the case we are better educating them than we can imagine.

A good church school is a viable option, and doesn't mean a parent (or parents) have failed in homeschooling. Educating our children is a matter of doing the best we can for them in this area, whether that be homeschooling or a church school.

I pray the Lord will grant you and your family wisdom and direction in this matter.

[OLD fashioned preacher]

Input from a pastor with both a Christian School and with homeschooling church families. My wife has home-schooled and taught in Christian.Schools for over 25 years.

I am a HUGE home-school advocate (consider it preferable) yet realize that some (single parents, those struggling to correct early financial blunders, health disasters, etc) CANNOT  and need a school available.

This decision is a matter of prayer and open discussion between you and your husband. A word of warning on the C.S. --- MANY are Christian in theology and practice but have allowed the overall influence and atmosphere to be similar to a public school.

My wife just walked in and I told about this. She highly recommended that if the children go to the C.S. you should offer to volunteer to help in the C.S. It will help to alleviate some of the "failure syndrome", allows you to have a finger on the "pulse" of the school and RARE is the C.S. that can't use some extra help. They may not use you in a teaching capacity but I'm sure they could use help in paperwork, etc.

Someone lurking may pounce on this like a chicken on a June bug BUT as for failing your children educationally, not too likely unless you stuck them in the public indoctrination cesspool called Public School.

Edited April 7, 2015 by OLD fashioned preacher

[Ukulelemike]

I am a big advocate of home school, especially since I put my kids in public school and neither graduated, though they both took the GED later and passed, (they were out of my influence at the time). Yet, I did public school, and somehow managed to do pretty well. Me not too dumb. But I do know it has gotten much worse than when I was a kid, so I would tell ANY parent to teach themselves, if it is at all possible. My wife dropped from school after Jr. High and self-taught through HS, using books from the thrift store, and she is very well educated, even teaching herself Latin while a teen. But she is extremely self-motivated, more so than me, and that deifintiely helps.

[heartstrings]

Our family is considering moving, and our new church would have a school. I overheard my husband talk about that as a blessing, meaning for the first time ever I would not be homeschooling. That breaks my heart, and I sort of feel like a failure if I don't. But after grading today I also feel like I am failing my kids. Prayers needed for direction for my family.

​My Wife felt like that quite a few times too. But all three of ours were homeschooled, they all graduated, two went on to technical school and graduated there, and all three have great jobs. Our daughter is the admin. assistant/secretary for the county tax collector, oldest son is the superintendent for a construction and maintenance company, and youngest son is a roadway designer for the FLDOT. And if anyone has ever told you that homeschooled kids don't know how to get along in society; that probably depends on the parent/teacher. All of our kids have an abundance of friends and get along just fine. I'm praying that God leads your family and works things out for you.

Edited April 14, 2015 by heartstrings

[dmedicinus]

Thank you!  We are going to visit the new church in May.  There are some exciting possibilities for our family to serve in, the church has a printing press ministry that sends John Romans, and tracts all over the world literally, how exciting   The church also has an orchestra, a nursing home ministry, a childrens choir, and a van ministry (we currently run buses at our home church).  I am growing excited for parts of moving, but leaving is going to be really hard.  Our home church is the church I got saved in, and my husband had been there since he was 13 years old, and went to school there.  It will be hard on all of us.  Maybe God will keep us still for the moment, either way He is still in control.  Thanks for the prayers.

[1Timothy115]

In my experience, homeschooling mums tend have times where they feel like they have failed their kids - not many actually are.

If you feel like it is part of your ministry, then talk to hubby and tell him that. He is probably thinking that you would appreciate the break..... after all, homeschooling is tough. 

​After 6th grade my wife had to give up home schooling our granddaughter. Health reasons was the major reason. I'm praying every day for this grand.