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JordanHaskins

How To Date While At Bible College?

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  Hello brothers and sisters in Christ. I am attending my first on campus semester at Maranatha Baptist University in Watertown, WI this Spring. I was saved at 16, I'm 24, I have 3 years of schooling left. I came from a non-Christian, inner city home, was raised as a Catholic, without a father in the home. I wasn't a social bird when I was growing up. What advice would you have for a young man when it comes to interacting with ladies while at college. Is it ok for guys and girls to be friends with each other (I've been in churches where they kept the guys and girls separate). How does dating/ courtship work in our circles? How does one get to the process of getting ready to be married? If you could, please provide Scripture with your answers so I can study these things out. Thank you for your help. Sorry to be to asking a sensitive question, but this is an area I have struggled with as I can be shy sometimes.

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I agree Sylvan. I guess, what is it that ladies are looking for in a Christian man. I guess some of the things I would say about me are I'm intelligent, passionate about God and serving Him, I want to defend Christians' religious liberties (thinking about law school). Dating rules at the college aren't really that complicated.

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If you want my advice, don't waste your time at Bible college 'looking'. You're there to learn, right? Focus on your studies and growing closer to the Lord, and don't divide your time and attention with dating. If God wants you to meet someone there, He'll take care of it without you worrying yourself about it. And Christian ladies are looking for someone that loves God and serves Him with their whole heart - so if you spend your time at college studying, serving, and seeking the Lord you will by-the-by be developing just those attributes. :wink

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If God wants you to marry, he will lead you to the right one. I am 39, still single, and feel God wants me to be in that position right now to serve him more.

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Salyan, don't have a heart attack, but on this we are in agreement.  LoL

Jordan, attend to your studies and God will bring the woman into your life and heart in His time.  His time is always right on time.

I am reminded of the first man and woman on Earth, Adam and Eve.  When God created Eve for Adam, He did not tell Adam, I have a woman for you... go and find her!  No, He brought the woman into the man's life Himself.  Focus on God and your studies and let Him work and bring the woman to you. 

Edited by Standing Firm In Christ

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What I meant to ask here is things on etiqurette, scripturally based standards, as I said, I've come from extreme fundamentalist churches that were so strict that they kept guys and girls separate and tried to keep us on a leash when were around each other, so now with me going off to college, I'm very shy and nervous around people, especially having come from a non Christian background.

Perhaps the question could be restated as , what does scripture say about shyness and how to defeat it?

Edited by JordanHaskins

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An important thing to consider when thinking about dating girls is that they are smelly.

 

An important thing to consider when thinking about dating girls is that they are smelly.

 

I choked reading this one....excellent humor

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What I meant to ask here is things on etiqurette, scripturally based standards, as I said, I've come from extreme fundamentalist churches that were so strict that they kept guys and girls separate and tried to keep us on a leash when were around each other, so now with me going off to college, I'm very shy and nervous around people, especially having come from a non Christian background.

Perhaps the question could be restated as , what does scripture say about shyness and how to defeat it?

 

 

Jordan, shyness does not come from being raised in extreme fundamentalist churches.  It's a part of one's personality. But it can be overcome.

 

My hubby is actually a very shy man. When we first met, it was extremely hard for him to speak to any girls.  In fact, when we began dating, his cousin had to come to church to see him actually talking to a girl.  :ROFL:

 

One of the things that my husband has done over the years is to make himself be friendly - even when it was hard.  And you know what? NOBody can tell that he's shy!  He takes a real interest in the people he talks to - at church, at work, at the gas station, at the restaurant, everywhere he goes.

 

The Bible tells us that if one wants friends, that one needs to be friendly. While in college, you will meet many people, both male and female.  First rule of thumb: be friendly to all in the same way. Don't look at the girls as possible dates/future wife - that's too much like a meat market idea...

 

As you get settled into college life, focus first and foremost on the reason you are there: to learn and to prepare for the work God would have you do, allowing Him to work in your heart and life what He desires.  As you do that, and allow actual friendships to form naturally, there will come a day when the Lord begins to work on your heart as to a specific young lady. It may or may not happen while you are in college.  For us, I was graduated from college and my hubby hadn't gone yet.  It varies with everyone.

 

As you form friendships, listen to people as they talk (no, I'm not talking about gossip...).  Honestly care about them. Don't feel the need to have to speak just to fill the quiet - that tends to cause over speaking and can cause embarrassment.  Be well read so you can intelligently discuss things - even things that don't interest you but you know interests your friends. Be OBservant of things and people around you. And pray for people. When you know someone's burden, make it a part of your prayer life. 

 

As was already said, God will bring the right girl to you when it is the right time.

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I think the important thing is to learn to delight in the Lord, and I mean to actually learn how to do it, and not just say you are.. I believe only then will you ever be ready.

 

I know in my own life this is what God is constantly working on me about, just rejoicing in him and being satisfied with him, and I'm sure that when you are focused on him and delighting in him, then he will bring her along.

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