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You Know You're Alaskan When...

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You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
You have more miles on your snow blower than on your car.
You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
You thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary.
The hardware store on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is three feet above the ground.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
Driving is better in the winter... the potholes get filled with snow.
You think everyone from the city has an accent.
You think sexy lingerie is fleece socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
You owe more money on your snowmOBile than on your car.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires 6 pages for sports.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
You head south to go to your cottage.

You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
There is only one shopping plaza in town.
The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
The major parish fundraiser isn't bingo - its sausage making.
You find -60 a might chilly.
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewels and your Sorels.

You can play road hockey on skates.
You can tell the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel from 300 yards away.
Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
You know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

You actually "get" these jokes, and forward them to all your Alaskan friends!!!

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