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Kitagrl

Long Distance friendships

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Everybody is so busy...but why can't we make time for friends? I think that's half the problem with Christians anymore, we are all "too busy" for each other. The NT church centered around fellowship. Seems like today, all we have time for is MAYBE squeeze in church, and ten minutes of chatting afterwards.

It is hard to open up to others...and then sometimes I feel like when I finally have opened up to some people, deciding "I think we'd make good friends" they either evidently don't feel the same way, and don't open up back....or in our church, a few have ended up moving away before we could get to know each other well enough.

I think my "best friend" here in this church is a very sweet lady, in her early 70's, who plays the piano and has no children or grandchildren.... but I'm allergic to her houseful of cats and she goes to the shore with her husband most weeks so we just chat online as if we lived far away. LOL.

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Everybody is so busy...but why can't we make time for friends? I think that's half the problem with Christians anymore, we are all "too busy" for each other. The NT church centered around fellowship. Seems like today, all we have time for is MAYBE squeeze in church, and ten minutes of chatting afterwards.

Yep! :goodpost:

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I've complained about that here (it was easier down south I think to have outside friendships) but everybody is so busy with jobs and family that I've been here 6 years and I still don't know of too many in our church who actually do things with each other when the church doors aren't open! We've even been guilty of just not having time to invite people over as much as we'd like and etc....and even if you do, its hard sometimes to schedule something.

Too bad isn't it.

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We do but we are not regular with it, there are so many things going on in our little church its hard to schedule them. We have had a couple baby showers lately, in place of the ladies meetings as well.

But I'm talking about friendships...not "the church is providing this activity, please come" but several families getting together because the WANT to, or a few ladies going shopping together just for FUN. Its rare here. For the past five? years I think, I have been trying to get ladies to go Black Friday shopping with me. Every year its just me and one other lady (the same one). We have fun together! But the other ladies just don't seem to want to go. Last year one other lady was going to go but there was a mixup about pickup time (and we were delayed with long lines) so it didn't work out.

Anyway....

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maybe when the economy gets better' date=' they probably want to go. Some ladies probably feel they have to watch their budget. being an IFB isn't cheap especially when you have kids.[/quote']

I don't think its the economy...around here, many of the ladies work.

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I know some ladies who enjoy shopping on Black Friday...but I'm not one of them!! Money isn't the issue - I just don't like to shop much, but especially when there's a crowd! It definitely would be a good money saver for Christmas gifts if I could get into the shops, but...

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My father, and an older brother, who father was not raised with, could get together and set for several minutes at a time without a single word. Finally one of the would say something, they would talk on that for a few minutes, them se quietly for quite sometime, them one of the would bring up something and they would talk again.

Why is it not more people can't just set and enjoy their friends company, without having to feel you've got to talk to entrain them.

I learned much from observing my father and his brother, of which more people ought to come to an understanding of. Both of them enjoyed one another's company and the other one did not feel he had to be someone who he wasn't. Both of them could set for hours just be self.

I might add, if more people were like that there would be less gossip, for many times that is what a conservations will turn into when you feel you've got to talk to that person who is setting by you.

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I am like you in that Jerry. I don't feel a need to talk very often or a lot to have a "friendship". I think most guys are that way. :Green


As this thread shows though, if this talk002.gif isn't going on all the time, a lot of ladies start to over analyze things and worry that someone is mad at them or that they are unpopular for some reason. :lol:

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I am like you in that Jerry. I don't feel a need to talk very often or a lot to have a "friendship". I think most guys are that way. :Green


As this thread shows though, if this talk002.gif isn't going on all the time, a lot of ladies start to over analyze things and worry that someone is mad at them or that they are unpopular for some reason. :lol:


Oh, I don't really have to talk a lot. I don't think any of the ladies are saying that, either!! I think what we are saying is that it's hard to form friendships sometimes, and sometimes it can get lonely because of it.

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Basically I was just saying that most guys have a little different standard of what a friend is or should be then what ladies standards seem to be. Neither is really wrong, they are just a different set of expectations. Ladies are looking more for emotional closeness and guys are just looking for some common interests and the ability to get along reasonably well. Generally speaking I think guys tend to have an easier time because their sights are not quite as high. :lol A real deep heart connection with another person is not easy to find; few people, men or women, have many such relationships...

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I think one thing that is hard for me is knowing I had some very very close friends, that when we moved away the relationship got farther away too. I'm one of those "best friends forever" types but if one of the friends doesn't communicate well long distance, its kinda hard to keep up a best friendship. And then you wonder "Man were we really that close at one time????"

Yeah men have it easy. They can always get along in a crowd....for a woman to be that way, she has to have just the right personality, usually outgoing and witty...or its very difficult.

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Families today are very busy, especially if they have children. Today's parents cater to their children taking the to ball practice and such. So much of their time when they're not working and or doing the chores at home their time is preplanned

Years ago we had many friends who we shared time with, but it seems those days are forever gone, Also many don't seem to want the preacher and his wife around, they feel they have to be on guard every minute if they spend time with them outside of regular services.

I'm setting here eating Mary Jane's, they're sure enough good, does anyone know what a Mary Jane is?

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I am like you in that Jerry. I don't feel a need to talk very often or a lot to have a "friendship". I think most guys are that way. :Green


As this thread shows though, if this talk002.gif isn't going on all the time, a lot of ladies start to over analyze things and worry that someone is mad at them or that they are unpopular for some reason. :lol:


Can't believe you said that. :eek

If I agree with you, will it be safe around here for me? :hide

:saint :saint :saint :tum

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Can't believe you said that. :eek


Maybe I should answer before my post is over analyzed. :Bleh Yes I like everybody here fine, no I am not mad at anybody. :tum Have to have a little fun every once in a while. :frog

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They're not gross, their great! You just might not have good taste. :frog

http://www.necco.com/OurBrands/Default.asp?BrandID=1


LOL!

I am a candy queen and only dislike a few...and that is one of them. haha. Along with circus peanuts and candy corns and yeah well necco wafers themselves. :hijack:

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:B :lol:



:lol I just saw this thread. So funny, Seth. You have a lot more guts than the average man, brother. Oh yeah...I forgot...you work for BroMatt. LOL. You can do that. :lol :box j/k. Sometimes, it is true, though.

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Making friends isn't safe in person for some people -lack of trust,past experiences but have found on-line friendships very helpful while also learning how in person. I cherish friendships from here in the past but was in a place not coping well with life and left for many months. The LORD has His timing for friends and if on-line, daily in person or any other way He may see fit. Just trust His timing--really trust Him with everything!!!

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