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The Glory Land

Lets Talk About Pastors Children's

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I hope you all know, that they are not all called to be preachers. some are and some will turn into the World.This is not the pastor fault, if they reject the gospel and turn into the World. So stop focusing on them, their kids. God knows their heart, pray that they return soon. They will, Lord willing.

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Okay I can agree with this one.  ;-)    Actually, honestly, these days I am thinking every kid should get a degree in something worthwhile, and then do Bible study on the side, and work under a pastor.  This way, he isn't bound to a church as his only source of income.  

 

During the 70s-90s I feel like "preacher boys" were pushed to do nothing but full time ministry.  However these days, SO many churches can NOT afford a full time pastor, and thus we have a lot of college-educated men struggling to feed their families because they paid for a college degree they now cannot use.

 

All four of my boys will, I hope, get a good trade/degree under their belts.   Whether or not God calls them to the ministry, only HE knows...but it is certainly not less spiritual to actually have some sort of "real degree".

 

Some of the best missionaries and pastors are those who actually had a career, then God called them out of the career.   They were already financially independent, so they were able to give more focus to the ministry instead of worrying about how to feed the family.

 

My husband was borderline in this...he had a military trade, which he was called out of to go into ministry...however, he was in electronics, which have GREATLY changed in the past 25 years or so....and so although he had a trade, I do not think he would have an easy time getting back into that today.  It concerns me a bit, but God knows best.

 

Just thoughts, I guess.   But yeah, I definitely agree that PKs should be expected to be no more, and no less, than any other kid in the church, and they should not be required to be some sort of "example" other than what any other Christian should be.

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Okay I can agree with this one. ;-) Actually, honestly, these days I am thinking every kid should get a degree in something worthwhile, and then do Bible study on the side, and work under a pastor. This way, he isn't bound to a church as his only source of income.

During the 70s-90s I feel like "preacher boys" were pushed to do nothing but full time ministry. However these days, SO many churches can NOT afford a full time pastor, and thus we have a lot of college-educated men struggling to feed their families because they paid for a college degree they now cannot use.

All four of my boys will, I hope, get a good trade/degree under their belts. Whether or not God calls them to the ministry, only HE knows...but it is certainly not less spiritual to actually have some sort of "real degree".

Some of the best missionaries and pastors are those who actually had a career, then God called them out of the career. They were already financially independent, so they were able to give more focus to the ministry instead of worrying about how to feed the family.

My husband was borderline in this...he had a military trade, which he was called out of to go into ministry...however, he was in electronics, which have GREATLY changed in the past 25 years or so....and so although he had a trade, I do not think he would have an easy time getting back into that today. It concerns me a bit, but God knows best.

Just thoughts, I guess. But yeah, I definitely agree that PKs should be expected to be no more, and no less, than any other kid in the church, and they should not be required to be some sort of "example" other than what any other Christian should be.





Thank you for replying.

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I hope you all know, that they are not all called to be preachers. some are and some will turn into the World.This is not the pastor fault, if they reject the gospel and turn into the World. So stop focusing on them, their kids. God knows their heart, pray that they return soon. They will, Lord willing.

Preachers and their families are human- just like all people..... including you and I.  That is why we look to God and not man, amen!

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I am glad I was not a preacher's kid! think there is so much pressure put on them.  They can see the best of Christians, but on the other hand, they can see first hand the bad side of Christians.

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Okay I can agree with this one. ;-) Actually, honestly, these days I am thinking every kid should get a degree in something worthwhile, and then do Bible study on the side, and work under a pastor. This way, he isn't bound to a church as his only source of income.

During the 70s-90s I feel like "preacher boys" were pushed to do nothing but full time ministry. However these days, SO many churches can NOT afford a full time pastor, and thus we have a lot of college-educated men struggling to feed their families because they paid for a college degree they now cannot use.

All four of my boys will, I hope, get a good trade/degree under their belts. Whether or not God calls them to the ministry, only HE knows...but it is certainly not less spiritual to actually have some sort of "real degree".

Some of the best missionaries and pastors are those who actually had a career, then God called them out of the career. They were already financially independent, so they were able to give more focus to the ministry instead of worrying about how to feed the family.

My husband was borderline in this...he had a military trade, which he was called out of to go into ministry...however, he was in electronics, which have GREATLY changed in the past 25 years or so....and so although he had a trade, I do not think he would have an easy time getting back into that today. It concerns me a bit, but God knows best.

Just thoughts, I guess. But yeah, I definitely agree that PKs should be expected to be no more, and no less, than any other kid in the church, and they should not be required to be some sort of "example" other than what any other Christian should be.


That's pretty much what my pastor expects of his boys.

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Probably the most unreasonable expectation put on PK's is that they will all be super spiritual and go into full time ministry.
God gives everyone different gifts and different skills and different talents, and calls everyone to different tasks - not everyone is supposed to be and eye otherwise where would be the hearing?

Unfortunately people have their expectations, reasonable or not.

I would rather my kids love the Lord with all their heart and mind and soul and work a secular job than that they "go into the ministry" to please men - even to please me.......

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Sometimes people have unreasonable expectations of pastor's kids... They're just kids. It's the father who was called into the ministry, not their sons/daughters.

 

Along with what you said, I think that sometimes people look for reasons to gossip about Pastor and Mrs. P.  Misbehaving kids make for an easy subject.

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Along with what you said, I think that sometimes people look for reasons to gossip about Pastor and Mrs. P.  Misbehaving kids make for an easy subject.

Yeah, unfortunately that does happen.

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What do the scriptures teach about a Pastor's children?  Shouldn't he rule his house well and shouldn't they be in subjection to him?

 

A Pastor's child who is rebellious for a long time would no longer be qualified to pastor a New Testament Church.  Rebellious in this sense means disruptive and getting into trouble, not rejection of the Gospel.

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But one thing which has to be understood by many is that one reason - and it is only one reason of many possibles - that PK could turn away is that child sees how their Pastor-father is treated by those to whom he pours out his life and heart.

I have seen just such happen - where a faithful pastor's son left when his father retired for health reasons. He had only stayed to be a support to his dad.
But in speaking with this man, one reason he left - the major reason - is that he saw no christian love extended to his mother and father while they ministered in that church.
this father did his best but it was not enough to overcome what this PK saw of people who called themselves christians.

This does not deny that some Pastors do not lead their families well, but it is not always as simple as it seems.

I also know of a family that is still paying for a pastor-father who led his family poorly. As far as I can see he has disqualified himself by it.
So there's both sides.....

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And then there's the question of who decides what is too rebellious or what is actual rebellion. I've heard it preached that if the kids get involved in adultery, it's all over for the preacher. Then I've heard it preached if they do drugs, it's all over.  Then I've heard that if they don't attend the same church (or one just like it) the pastor is disqualified.  

 

Being disruptive and trouble making isn't necessarily disqualifying...what is disqualifying is how and even if the pastor deals with it.  It is a truth that some children are more hard headed than others, and could take years to form and mold.  I believe that if a child in the home becomes a whoremonger (or whore), drug addict, etc., then the pastor is disqualified because he has lost control of his household. 

 

I do agree that we do wrong when we try to force children to go into full time service.  All too often, kids are made to feel less than worthy if they don't go into full time service.

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What about if you've got an adult child or older teen that rebels and leaves home? Should that count against the pastor?

Many people believe it does.  I would have to say if the child is still in the home and leaves out of rebellion, yes.  But once the child becomes an adult, he/she has to make his/her own choices.  I've heard it preached that if you raise them right they'll choose right.  But kids are not robots. They are sinners just as much as the parents are. And they make dumb choices, too, because of that. 

 

A good example is Adam and Eve.  They were made perfect. They spoke and walked with God.  And yet they chose to go their own way.  How can we say that our children would never do that?

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Sometimes people have unreasonable expectations of pastor's kids... They're just kids. It's the father who was called into the ministry, not their sons/daughters.

Or their wives. Its great when a pastor's wife is involved somewhere, but when a church EXPECTS her to be a teacher or run a ladies' Bible study because she's the pator's wife, (and thus, to many, the co-pastor), its wrong. She's called to be the pastor's wife, and we pastors know what a hardship that can be, amiright?

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Free will.....while the child is under the roof he should be under the father's instruction.  However...I mean....I could decide tomorrow to be a lesbian (hypothetically speaking, of course) and it would certainly not be my husband's fault, or my dad's fault.  It would disqualify my husband, but it would not disqualify my dad, because I used my free will to sin.

 

I know a pastor whose son came out as gay later in life after he was married.  That had NOTHING to do with his pastor father and everything to do with his sinful personal choices.

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What do the scriptures teach about a Pastor's children? Shouldn't he rule his house well and shouldn't they be in subjection to him?

A Pastor's child who is rebellious for a long time would no longer be qualified to pastor a New Testament Church. Rebellious in this sense means disruptive and getting into trouble, not rejection of the Gospel.



You or we cannot put a recovery time on a young man. Moses and many more men of God live the wild life first my friend.

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I was a pastor for 15 years. I am currently out of the ministry due to this very issue.

 

At my last church, the people almost destroyed my children. It has taken 7 years and I am finally seeing my son turn around. He is a good kid, just became so bitter it turned to extreme anger. A teenager has a difficult time dealing with that.

 

My two cents.

It is extremely important for pastors to shield their wives and children. I put no higher expectation on either than what I expected of any other person in the church. I made it clear to the church that my wife served because she wanted to and that they did not hire her, they called me.

 

The qualifications are clear and I believe that there are many pastors who are disqualified from the ministry due to their family. We can lay the blame on the deacons or the people of the church, but in the end it is our responsibility to raise our children.

 

Though many would say that I did nothing to disqualify myself from the ministry, I am still disqualified for now.

 

One question that was asked: What if they are adult children. - In the Bible, you were a child or you were an adult. I believe that 1 Tim. 3 is referring to children. Though this age was 12 in Bible times, I believe it is more while they are living under your roof, rather than a specific age.

 

Just my 2 cents.

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I was a pastor for 15 years. I am currently out of the ministry due to this very issue.

At my last church, the people almost destroyed my children. It has taken 7 years and I am finally seeing my son turn around. He is a good kid, just became so bitter it turned to extreme anger. A teenager has a difficult time dealing with that.

My two cents.
It is extremely important for pastors to shield their wives and children. I put no higher expectation on either than what I expected of any other person in the church. I made it clear to the church that my wife served because she wanted to and that they did not hire her, they called me.

The qualifications are clear and I believe that there are many pastors who are disqualified from the ministry due to their family. We can lay the blame on the deacons or the people of the church, but in the end it is our responsibility to raise our children.

Though many would say that I did nothing to disqualify myself from the ministry, I am still disqualified for now.

One question that was asked: What if they are adult children. - In the Bible, you were a child or you were an adult. I believe that 1 Tim. 3 is referring to children. Though this age was 12 in Bible times, I believe it is more while they are living under your roof, rather than a specific age.

Just my 2 cents.



Are you ready to come back? Christians can be a stumbling blocks not just our children. There is a differants between the two, You can spank young children but not your immature Christian members. Edited by The Glory Land

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I know of two cases in which a preacher's kids went in complete opposite directions. One was a evangelist by the name of Dave Arnold. He had two sons that were less than two years apart and the oldest followed him into the ministry and the younger ended up a rebel and thug.

 

I know of a similar case that involved two sisters. One loved God and the other ended up a tattooed whore living with some gangsta.

 

My point is that in both cases the children were raised in identical situations in a house that served God and yet one still ended up following their own free will and turn out to be a big zero for God. These things happen and I'm tired of self righteous Christians assuming that somehow that pastor must have sin in his life if his children or wife rebels. People have free will. Christians rebel against Jesus Christ all the time. Does this mean Christ should be disqualified from the ministry?

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The qualifications are specific to Pastors, not evangelists.

 

Children can and do disqualify men from the ministry. I understand that children can go wayward even in a good home. I pray my son will turn out to be a Godly young man. Over the last couple years, he has come a long way.

 

On a personal note - I am always open to the leading of the Lord. If He wants me in the ministry, I am willing. God does not call men who are disqualified though, so I am not expecting the call from the Lord. When I meet His qualifications again, then maybe He will renew His call.

 

Thanks

Ed

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