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The Truth...whether You Like It Or Not!


No Nicolaitans

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I'm probably the worst about not reading instructions...it's always the last resort.

 

When my brother got married, I gave them a gas grill for a wedding gift.  About two years later, he asked me if I wanted the grill.  He had tried to put it together, but some of the parts were missing...according to the instructions.

 

I felt bad about it, so I told him that I would take it.  After I got it home, I opened the box (yes, it was still in the box) and took everything out. I went ahead and put the grill together...never looked at the instructions...and I had parts left over!!! He said there weren't enough parts, but I had parts left over. I never could figure out where those extra parts went, so I looked at the instructions...and still couldn't figure out where they went.  :scratchchin:  :lol:

 

I used that grill for years until it became unusable.   :thumb:

 

If you take time to read the instructions doesn't that just wastes valuable time?   :knuppel:

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I recognize that this thread is intended to be somewhat humorous.  However, I wish to make a spiritually serious point here --

 

The self-dependent attitude of us men, which motivates us so commonly to neglect reading the directions, often motivates us also to neglect reading, learning, and following the directions for our daily Christian lives that the Lord our God had provided for us in His Holy Word.  My beloved brethren, this ought not so to be!

 

______________________________

 

Concerning the matter of men's understanding of women, I would present what is likely to be a controversial statement --

 

I believe that men understand women just as well as women understand men.  Furthermore, I believe that one of the great reasons for failure in this area is that men and women each tend to project their own pattern of thinking and feeling upon the other. 

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I recognize that this thread is intended to be somewhat humorous.  However, I wish to make a spiritually serious point here --

 

The self-dependent attitude of us men, which motivates us so commonly to neglect reading the directions, often motivates us also to neglect reading, learning, and following the directions for our daily Christian lives that the Lord our God had provided for us in His Holy Word.  My beloved brethren, this ought not so to be!

 

______________________________

 

Concerning the matter of men's understanding of women, I would present what is likely to be a controversial statement --

 

I believe that men understand women just as well as women understand men.  Furthermore, I believe that one of the great reasons for failure in this area is that men and women each tend to project their own pattern of thinking and feeling upon the other. 

Amen! Sounds very similar to what our pastor preached a couple of years ago when he did a special weeknight series on marriage.

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I believe that men understand women just as well as women understand men.  Furthermore, I believe that one of the great reasons for failure in this area is that men and women each tend to project their own pattern of thinking and feeling upon the other. 

Exactly!  This is a point which I stressed very strongly to our DIL and our son when they got married. 

 

Most women tend to deal with thing more emotionally (hey - be nice, or I might cry!  :biggrin: ), while most men tend to deal with things more logically.  While that is not always the case (I know some REALLY illogical men...), it is the norm (and it is, honestly, largely due to the different hormones with which God blessed each gender).

 

My hubby and I discussed this at length when we were first married.  And we still do at times.  He really does understand me most of the time, and can read me well. As I can him.  I think the reason for that is that we took the time to listen to each other and tried to understand.

 

That said, he still doesn't like to ask directions or read the instructions.  :nuts:

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I recognize that this thread is intended to be somewhat humorous.  However, I wish to make a spiritually serious point here --

 

The self-dependent attitude of us men, which motivates us so commonly to neglect reading the directions, often motivates us also to neglect reading, learning, and following the directions for our daily Christian lives that the Lord our God had provided for us in His Holy Word.  My beloved brethren, this ought not so to be!

 

______________________________

 

Concerning the matter of men's understanding of women, I would present what is likely to be a controversial statement --

 

I believe that men understand women just as well as women understand men.  Furthermore, I believe that one of the great reasons for failure in this area is that men and women each tend to project their own pattern of thinking and feeling upon the other. 

 

I heartily agree!!! And what is so sad is that men really could understand women if they just tried. Sure, they won't ever completely understand everything about their wife anymore than they completely understand everything about anyone else. But the point is, the Bible commands husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge. The problem goes much deeper than points of view, mind sets, or any other of the many excuses I've heard. It all comes back to the same thing, and that is selfishness. We get so wrapped up in ourselves that we don't take the time to listen to our spouse. Men, stop being guys and start being gentlemen. Listen to your wife. Consider how she feels. TALK TO HER! The majority of arguments come from both sides refusing to hear the other persons opinion. You are not God and therefore are not always right. I fear that we as men think we can guide our houses in our own power. Lets remember who our Guide is and what He said. "Dwell with them according to knowledge." That is a high calling! But remember that you cannot dwell with your wife according to knowledge if you refuse to know anything about her.

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I heartily agree!!! And what is so sad is that men really could understand women if they just tried. Sure, they won't ever completely understand everything about their wife anymore than they completely understand everything about anyone else. But the point is, the Bible commands husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge. The problem goes much deeper than points of view, mind sets, or any other of the many excuses I've heard. It all comes back to the same thing, and that is selfishness. We get so wrapped up in ourselves that we don't take the time to listen to our spouse. Men, stop being guys and start being gentlemen. Listen to your wife. Consider how she feels. TALK TO HER! The majority of arguments come from both sides refusing to hear the other persons opinion. You are not God and therefore are not always right. I fear that we as men think we can guide our houses in our own power. Lets remember who our Guide is and what He said. "Dwell with them according to knowledge." That is a high calling! But remember that you cannot dwell with your wife according to knowledge if you refuse to know anything about her.

Husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge-just the point I was going to make.

 

I suspect, however, that women don't really understand men any better than men understand women. We could if we wanted to, but I suspect many just don't want to make the effort-men treat women like a man, and women treat a man like a woman, as far as thinking processes.

 

Like, Women, please don't make men read your mind-speak your mind, don't make us guess. 

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Husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge-just the point I was going to make.

 

I suspect, however, that women don't really understand men any better than men understand women. We could if we wanted to, but I suspect many just don't want to make the effort-men treat women like a man, and women treat a man like a woman, as far as thinking processes.

 

Like, Women, please don't make men read your mind-speak your mind, don't make us guess. 

 

LOL! I agree! The main problem that women seem to have (I say this from having watched my Pastor counsel couples over and over) is that #1 they seem to think that men don't have feelings. Ladies, just because we don't communicate our feelings the same way, doesn't mean that we don't have them. And #2, like the men, they think that they are always right. When you have two people who both think they are always right, you end up with war. The moral is, instead of defending the way you respond to things, why don't we all just try to understand and consider our spouses!

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This is truth...but men should also ask for clarification.   :smug:

 

I will have to disagree. Both men and women are guilty of this. We should never have to be asked for clarification on anything that we say. When we expect others to ask for clarification then rumors are started, arguments begin, grudges are held, and bitterness begins to spring up in our hearts. "Following peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;".

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I will have to disagree. Both men and women are guilty of this. We should never have to be asked for clarification on anything that we say. When we expect others to ask for clarification then rumors are started, arguments begin, grudges are held, and bitterness begins to spring up in our hearts. "Following peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;".

Huh?  This has nothing, really, to do with what I was saying.  For clarification purposes: if a man doesn't understand what his wife is saying, or if he is confused about something, he needs to ask for clarification (further explanation). If that causes rumors, arguments, grudges, and bitterness, there's something much deeper wrong in the marriage...(and, yes, if a woman doesn't understand what her husband is saying, she should also ask. Not understanding is actually what breeds arguments and bitterness because not understanding causes people to assume. Never a good thing)

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Huh?  This has nothing, really, to do with what I was saying.  For clarification purposes: if a man doesn't understand what his wife is saying, or if he is confused about something, he needs to ask for clarification (further explanation). If that causes rumors, arguments, grudges, and bitterness, there's something much deeper wrong in the marriage...(and, yes, if a woman doesn't understand what her husband is saying, she should also ask. Not understanding is actually what breeds arguments and bitterness because not understanding causes people to assume. Never a good thing)

 

Sorry I misunderstood what you meant. I was referring to when people don't tell someone something and then expect for them to figure out how they feel, or such things. And yes, I agree that there is something very wrong in the marriage when it causes those things. But, as anyone who deals with people on a regular basis knows, it happens all to often. The worse thing that a upset husband or wife can do is to go tell all their "friends" what their spouse did to upset them. But, again, it happens all to often.

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Huh?  This has nothing, really, to do with what I was saying.  For clarification purposes: if a man doesn't understand what his wife is saying, or if he is confused about something, he needs to ask for clarification (further explanation). If that causes rumors, arguments, grudges, and bitterness, there's something much deeper wrong in the marriage...(and, yes, if a woman doesn't understand what her husband is saying, she should also ask. Not understanding is actually what breeds arguments and bitterness because not understanding causes people to assume. Never a good thing)

For the last three years of my marriage, before my wife walked out on me, I had no idea there was anything wrong. After she left and we were talking again, she admitted that she never said anyting was wrong, and it caused her to resent me terribly because I couldn't figure it out myself. This is the problem-its not a man needing clarification, it a woman who says NOTHING, and expects us to know what is wrong.

 

Its not just men, though, because women treat each other the same way-they will carry something against anoother woman and never say anything until it becomes hatred. My wife had a friend who recent;ly dcided she was moving, For the last few days she never spoke to my wife, though before that every thing was very friendly, so there was no reason to think anything was amiss. The day she told us she was moving-that day-, my wife said she was acting very angry at her, but wouldn't say why. All she said was, "You should know what's wrong!" She doesn't-to this day.

 

Men tend to be more open and direct, both to women and other men. We get things out, which is why we can go to  blows with someone and hvae a burger together the next day-once its done, its done.

 

Yup, us men are pretty much perfect.  :th_popout:

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A facebook friend of mine, a well-known pastor/radio preacher/author...good man, recently posted something to the effect that if husbands would 'take the lead' women would naturally follow. That is simply not always the case. The Bible speaks of perils of a "brawling woman in a wide house", odious women etc. Some of the women posted replies to his post to the effect that "my husband won't 'lead'...so I don't have to submit". No, the Bible says that if the husband isn't doing right and won't "lead" the wife is commanded to take the "lead" by submitting. That's not meaning she is to be a doormat either. But to say or even imply that it's all the man's fault is simply false. God puts the responsibility on the husband and the wife for how the home is "lead".

 

1 Peter 3:3 

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

 

If that isn't 'leadership" I don't know what is.

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For the last three years of my marriage, before my wife walked out on me, I had no idea there was anything wrong. After she left and we were talking again, she admitted that she never said anyting was wrong, and it caused her to resent me terribly because I couldn't figure it out myself. This is the problem-its not a man needing clarification, it a woman who says NOTHING, and expects us to know what is wrong.

 

Its not just men, though, because women treat each other the same way-they will carry something against anoother woman and never say anything until it becomes hatred. My wife had a friend who recent;ly dcided she was moving, For the last few days she never spoke to my wife, though before that every thing was very friendly, so there was no reason to think anything was amiss. The day she told us she was moving-that day-, my wife said she was acting very angry at her, but wouldn't say why. All she said was, "You should know what's wrong!" She doesn't-to this day.

 

Men tend to be more open and direct, both to women and other men. We get things out, which is why we can go to  blows with someone and hvae a burger together the next day-once its done, its done.

 

Yup, us men are pretty much perfect.  :th_popout:

That sums it up pretty well! :coffee:

 

I had a girlfriend, we were planning to marry, but she started showing signs of backsliding and then she went on vacation with her family. She didn't come back with them, telling me she was going to live with relatives in the other state. I told her I would come and see her and she said no, said she didn't want to see me, didn't want to get married, not to come out because she didn't want to see me.

 

About a year later I see her back in the area. A couple days later I saw her again and she came over to speak with me. She then told me how mad she was that I hadn't drove those thousands of miles to see her. I reminded her of how intently she told me not to go and she told me I should have known to come anyway. Then she said she saw a vehicle like mine while she was there and thought I was coming. When she realized it wasn't me she got real mad and said she hated me! Then she used that as an excuse to all out backslide, started seeing some guy and jumped into marriage with him about a month later (all my fault, according to her). The reason she was back was because he was cheating on her so she got mad and went and slept with his best friend and then came back here. She told me she hated me for putting her through all that!!!?????? Then, get this, she asks if we can get back together!!! Here she just told me how much she hated me, not to mention the fact she was still married and had just admitted to having a one night stand with her husbands best friend to get back at him, and she seriously wanted to get back together!

 

Hopefully it's needless to say, but I'm not married to her.

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