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Brother Rick

Politically Incorrect Topic In My Wife's Free Book

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So we're doing a free promotion on my wife's book, Faith and Finance: Peace With or Without Prosperity, and I just noticed she got a 1-star review because of an Appendix.  Isn't that just the way things are?  Ignore the main theme and purpose of the book (finding peace in your current financial state by understanding the promises of God regarding provision), and focus on a small part you disagree with.

 

Regardless, I was wondering what you all thought of the appendix, so here it is:

 

PLEASE DOWNLOAD THE FREE BOOK HERE (and if you like leave a nice review  :clapping:  ): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005JFBO6U/

 

 

 

 

Appendix D

~

Working Women in the Bible

 

Let’s take a deeper look at what God says about women who work in case you too are plagued with questions, or the guilt that inevitably comes with this topic.

 

1.  THE WIFE WITH NO CHILDREN AT HOME

 

I remember my early years of marriage before we had any children.  I was able to get all the laundry, the housework, all the cooking and shopping done and still have time to go off gallivanting around somewhere.  Some women are in a position where they have no children to guide or oversee.

 

God does not give any extra commands to the wife with no children at home other than that she is to be a help to her husband and that she is a keeper at home.  If her husband would appreciate her help financially in those years of marriage (and she is able to keep up with her responsibilities at home and still have the energy to be her husband’s companion when he is home) then the wife is not outside the bounds of the Bible to do so.  She is obeying her husband and is indeed his “help.”

 

If the husband would like her to work at this time of life, then she should obey her husband first and foremost.  While I seriously question the wisdom of working closely with another male (due to high statistical percentage of workplace affairs), a wife is still in subjection to her own husband, as an umbrella headship, while working “under” a male employer if the husband so deems.

 

1Pe 3:1, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;”

 

If her husband has not asked her to work, then from my experience she will have about twenty or so hours a week “free” once she has completed her household responsibilities.  This would be a wonderful opportunity for this wife to minister in ways in which others would not have an opportunity; what a blessing.

 

Some things this wife could do:

  • Lodge strangers: – I Tim 5:10 (Hospitality ministry to missionaries and this may even include foster children.)
  • Relieve the afflicted: – I Tim 5:10  (Help those who are ill, home bound, widows, mothers who have just delivered and can’t keep up with household responsibilities, children/ teens who need a friend or role model, and I’m sure there are many more)
  • Stretching out your hands to the poor and needy. – Prov 31:20 (making special dinners, offering to watch children, making up a special birthday or Christmas treat for those who are struggling financially.  The opportunities are only limited by your creativity.)
  • Church ministries

 

2.  THE MOTHER

 

To the lady who marries and bears children, God has outlined to her a role that includes additional responsibilities.

 

  • Love your children and be a keeper at home: Tit 2:4 – 5, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, V5  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

 

  • Guide the house: 1Ti 5:14, “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

 

  • Good works: 1Ti 5:10, “Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.”

 

So many women feel that as long as their children are taken care of by their family or someone they trust that they are fulfilling their responsibility of “guiding the house.”  Yet, they are not the “keeper” of their children and they certainly aren’t “at home.” 

 

Others take care of their children while their husband is at work and rather than being their husband’s companion, lover, and help when he gets home, they instead hurry out to their job and leave the care of their children in their tired husband’s hands rather than sharing the care of their children together as a team after a long day’s work for both of them.

 

You cannot be fulfilling your God-given role as an help meet for your husband, guide of your house, and keeper at home while having your children being cared for by someone other than you.  You have these wonderful blessings and then give them over to someone else to raise.  They without a doubt will not receive the love or training the way in which only their mother can provide.

 

While studying this out and discussing the topic among Christian women, I found consistent views as to why women get a career.  Not every woman who works is enrolled in the women’s liberation movement.  Some honestly have sincere intentions and are operating according to “worldly wisdom.”

 

What is so scary about worldly wisdom is that it makes sense, but it smacks at the face of Scripture.  The Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)  Just because it seems to make sense, doesn’t mean that it is not a ploy of the devil to undermine our homes and trust in God’s word.

 

Was this not Satan’s ploy with Eve?  He played upon her weakness of being easily deceived (I Tim. 2:14) and caused her to doubt God’s word.

 

These are the most common reasons I found for working mothers.

 

a.  “In case” something happens to the husband.  For instance; the death of a husband, a husband’s physical disability, the husband having an erratic income, or the possibility of divorce.  (I would like to note that if a house is running in God’s order and family devotions with consistent church attendance and submission to God is in the home, divorce is statistically 75% less likely to take place.)

 

You know how in II Corinthians 8:8 Paul says, “I speak not by commandment…”  Well, I’m going to take the same liberty here and give some personal advice.  You will see later that the virtuous woman did indeed have a trade.  She was a seamstress who made girdles at home in the evening hours and then delivered them to her buyers.  Priscilla worked alongside her husband as a tentmaker.  I have  trade qualifications for being a bookkeeper, piano teacher, and a counselor.  There is nothing wrong with having a career option.  The problem is the careers that today’s women are choosing.

 

What is foolish is to have an inflexible trade.  If a woman puts herself into a box where to make money she must work outside of the home and leave her children in the care of others, than she is making a choice that is not supported by Scripture.  I don’t see anywhere in Scripture that gives an exclusion for a mother working outside of the home regardless of whether it is part-time work or full-time work.  Children are to be under the care of their mother.

 

(That being said, I do know that there are women who will remain single and should duly prepare to support themselves financially, but I still think that that is statistically the exception to the rule.  We should prepare to operate according to the rule; not the exception.)

 

Teach your daughters a trade that can be done from the home with flexible hours, but by all means, please take note that the virtuous woman took care of her family first and foremost and her work was at a sacrifice to her own personal time, not at the sacrifice of her husband’s, and children’s time.

 

There are women who take their best energy and dedicate it to their career and leave the children with scraps.  Children are carted around all day while the mother makes her “deliveries.”  While the mother is catching up on her calls, the children are wandering around idly and aimlessly and bring shame upon their mother.  Mom is typing away and the children are climbing up on her lap saying, “Are you almost done?”

 

A mother’s job is to guide her home, be a keeper at home, and to love her children and husband.  She is to be a minister of good works.  If there is a trade involved, it must come absolutely, without a doubt, last in the equation.

 

b. The husband requires the wife to work.  (In which case, the wife must obey her husband.)

 

c. The wife wants “extras:” better clothes, vacations, nicer cars, a nicer home, better nails and hair.

 

If the first point was the most subtle of all Satan’s tricks to deceive the mother into putting a career out of God’s priority placement; this is the most pervasive.  We cannot go anywhere without being a marketing target.  I write much more on this subject of covetousness later, but we are all subject to its powers outside of daily crucifixion and reliance upon prayer and God’s word.

 

Here are some verses that have helped me to keep my priorities in check.

 

1Jn 2:15 -17, “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.   V16. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.   V17. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.”

 

Mat 6:19 – 21, “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: V20. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:  V21.  For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

 

Mat 6:24, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.  V25  Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?”

 

 

d. The wife has more earning potential, and chooses to switch roles for the sake of more money or financial security. 

 

The truth is that some men just do not have as much earning power or initiative as their wives.  Some women’s trades or careers could earn two to three times as much as their husband’s.  It seems so easy to have the husband watch the children, or a babysitter watch them while mom works a few days a week.

 

We women sacrifice peace when we leave our children behind for hours and find ourselves feeling guilty and insecure about our choices in this area.  We sacrifice our God-given peace oft times just for financial security.  We enjoy knowing that our bills are being paid faster; our securities are growing as we would like; and we may be able to enjoy a vacation now and then.

 

What we don’t realize is that we are hampering our own spiritual growth and our husband’s growth in the Lord as we would do the following:

 

  • Learn to be content (Phil 4:11)
  • Be salt to the earth as we have joy with less (Matt 5:13)
  • Increase our faith (Luke 17:5)
  • Bring God glory as His gracious sufficiency is known in our life and His power is shown in our lives. (2 Cor 12:9)

 

Those men who know their wife is more of a “powerhouse” financially have an uphill battle.  It is a hard job to be a leader.  It is a hard job to face the insecurities of decision-making, diligent prayer and Bible reading, and leaning upon the Lord for direction.  Who wants to do more hard work?

 

Sometimes life is like boot camp for the husband / soldier.  He is going to have to be forced by exterior circumstances to grow, break down his muscles, and find a supernatural strength from God to overcome all his natural weaknesses.

 

Imagine if a wife walked into the boot camp and said, “Hey, I’ve been working out a lot recently.  Let me just step in for a few days and …”  All would be lost. 

 

Women, what we need to do is get down on our knees and cry out, “God, I’m terrified that if I step down he will never step up.  Even if he does step up, will we be poor forever?  Yet, You promised that if we delight ourselves in You that You will give us the desires of our heart.  You promised that the man that trusts in You will be happy.  I believe; help thou mine unbelief.  I trust that You will make my husband the best conduit of provision that You can and most of all I will trust Your timing.”

 

Turn your back on your own understanding and trust God’s word.  Let your husband grow. 

 

2Co 12:9, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

 

Keep in mind that if a husband is out of work, but the household is in order, God is bound by His word to provide for your food, raiment and what He deems as your need.  God does have a way.  God gains glory through the charity of other Christians.  In times of hardship, Christians have lived together, worked together, and shared hand-me-downs and food.  Maybe this is God’s solution for you.

 

e. The wife does not want to bear her responsibility and learn to be the homemaker that she is commanded to be.  Being a wife and mother is hard work, and it is much easier to be responsible for duties other than training little lives and souls.

 

We were not all trained well to do the following:

 

  • Teach our children to behave and be responsible, while controlling our emotions and showing love.
  • Cook well or nutritiously and to meet our families’ tastes. 
  • Be hospitable and open our homes to those in need.
  • Be frugal, or giving, or to guard our tongues to speak with wisdom and kindness
  • Take care of our bodies to be realistically attractive to our husbands
  • Communicate with respect and give reverence to our husbands (whether he has earned it or not).
  • Suck up our feelings of entitlement when our emotional needs are not met and we are left home alone.

 

Yet, this is our job.  If you are better at your home business than you are at running your home you need to take a look in God’s word and in your heart and ask for God’s help in becoming more like what HE would have you to be.

 

The Bible does not say we are to be keepers of our home (that is the husband’s job).  We are to be keepers at home.

 

Pro 7:11,  “(She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:”

 

Tit 2:4 – 5, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

 

1Ti 5:14, “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

 

f.  The woman wants “her own identity.” 

 

1Co 6:19 -20, “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.”

 

I understand it is difficult and you feel looked down upon when you are “just a mother” and even though people tout “being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job there is,” they still look at you as only a “stay-at-home mom.”

 

We find our joys in learning our children, being a better cook, keeping an orderly house, conquering the most recent child misbehavior, and spending time with our husband.  When do we have any time for our hobbies, or our interests?

 

There is a profound truth with which all mothers should become acquainted.  This is our identity: servant.  It’s a humble identity, but we rub shoulders with the very best.

 

Heb 3:5, “And Moses verily was faithful in all his house, as a servant, for a testimony of those things which were to be spoken after;”

 

Jas 1:1, “James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad, greeting.”

 

2Pe 1:1, “Simon Peter, a servant and an apostle of Jesus Christ, to them that have obtained like precious faith with us through the righteousness of God and our Saviour Jesus Christ:”

 

Jud 1:1, “Jude, the servant of Jesus Christ, and brother of James, to them that are sanctified by God the Father, and preserved in Jesus Christ, and called:”

 

Rev 1:1, “The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John:”

 

Tit 1:1, “Paul, a servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of God's elect, and the acknowledging of the truth which is after godliness;”

 

Col 4:12, “Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, saluteth you, always labouring fervently for you in prayers, that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.”

 

AND CHRIST HIMSELF

 

Php 2:7 - 8, “But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:  V8  And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”

 

Christ was an obedient servant and took up His cross.  Yet, our cross is nothing in comparison.  We get kisses, snuggles, toddler language, baby giggles, tales from pre-teens, long talks with teenagers, and an occasional nap.  What a blessing!

 

We were never promised an identity outside of Christ.  We shouldn’t seek one.  If you are able to hand out tracts and pray for others in your devotional life you have made an eternal difference outside your home without ever leaving your home responsibilities.

 

Let’s look at the last two common reasons a woman gets a career.  These situations are outside the scenario of God’s traditional family, but as with the situation of the widow, they are not outside of God’s provision.  God can use other Christians to help “fill in the gap” when a mother has more than her God given responsibilities to fulfill as the woman tries her best to be a virtuous woman.

 

g.  The woman is a single mom.

 

h.  The husband is negligent in his stewardship.

 

1Ti 5:8, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

 

So that being said, I would like to follow the next train of thought.  If we are not to lean upon our own understanding, but to trust in God’s word, then what reasons or examples does the Bible give to promote women who work?

 

3.  WOMEN IN THE BIBLE

 

Deborah

 

Jdg 4:4 – 5, “And Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at that time.  And she dwelt under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her for judgment.”

 

Israel was in rebellion, going to Kedesh was a one-time thing, and God made sure to tell us that it was a man’s job.  It was a shame to Barak that he did not do his duty. 

 

If your husband is in rebellion and asks you to go outside your God-given role, then obey your husband.  God will hold him accountable and it will be a shame upon him.  But please, do not be contentious and point this out to him.  Pray and let God work on his heart.  There is just nothing worse than a clamorous, proud, self-righteous woman preaching at her husband.

 

Ruth

 

Rth 2:2, “And Ruth the Moabitess said unto Naomi, Let me now go to the field, and glean ears of corn after him in whose sight I shall find grace. And she said unto her, Go, my daughter.”

 

Ruth did work, but Ruth was not married.  She was a young widow and God used her family to provide for her, which is biblical, but God still said that a younger widow should “marry, bear children, and guide the house” (I Timothy 5:14) and that is what Ruth did. (Ruth 4:17)

 

1Ti 5:3 – 5, “Honour widows that are widows indeed. V4  But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. V5  Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.”

 

1Ti 5:14, “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

 

The Virtuous Woman

 

The virtuous woman is the modern Christians guide for the “Super Mom.”  She had it all, did it all, dressed well, and had a popular husband.  On top of it all, her family appreciated all her hard work.  The list of her activities is non-stop.  She …

 

  • Shops for Groceries / Clothing / Materials: She searched earnestly for the goods of their household. V.12-14
  • Cooks and serves her household. V.15
  • Gardens V.16-17
  • From the context of V13, 19, 21-22, and 24: Works into the night (possibly after her children are asleep) and makes linen, clothing for her children, and girdles at home.  Later she delivers the sale of the girdles to the merchants.
  • Looketh well to the ways of her household V.27
  • Her children call her blessed V.28
  • Her husband was not at home with the children, he was in a place of leadership in the city. V.23

 

Sigh!  “When in the world are we supposed to get all this done?”

 

Well, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:”  Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

Sometimes we find ourselves getting so caught up in being perfect right now that we don’t see that we don’t have to be everything right now.  This lady could easily have begun gardening after her children were grown.  She may even have started selling girdles in her later years.  Still, she may have done it all while her children were growing up.

 

The passage remains the same; no where does the Bible say the virtuous woman worked outside the home.  Even more so, it is evident that she took care of her children, their clothes, and the food preparation of the home first and foremost.  Boy, isn’t that convicting to us stay-at-home mothers that she did her “extra” work in the evening?

 

On a side note:  I know that some say that she was in “real estate” because she bought a field, but that is like using the analogy that she owned or ran a Farmers Market because she bought her groceries.  What it does show is that she was wise and trustworthy in her husband’s eyes in regard to purchases of all sizes.  Please don’t allow yourself to slip into this rationalization.  It is just not there.

 

Priscilla and Aquila

 

Act 18:2-3, “And found a certain Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, lately come from Italy, with his wife Priscilla; (because that Claudius had commanded all Jews to depart from Rome:) and came unto them.  And because he was of the same craft, he abode with them, and wrought: for by their occupation they were tentmakers.”

 

We don’t know much about this family.  We don’t know if they had children, but what we do see is that Priscilla worked with Aquilla.  She helped her husband in the family business.

 

Lydia

 

Act 16:14 -15, “And a certain woman named Lydia, a seller of purple, of the city of Thyatira, which worshipped God, heard us: whose heart the Lord opened, that she attended unto the things which were spoken of Paul.  And when she was baptized, and her household, she besought us, saying, If ye have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come into my house, and abide there. And she constrained us.”

 

Again, we don’t know much about this woman.  We don’t know if she was married, if she had children or if she lived with her parents.  We don’t know where she made the “purple,” but we do know that she sold it.  As the virtuous woman made merchandise for home and only delivered her sale, there is nothing that would cause me to assume that she was out on the marketplace all day.

 

A Word of Encouragement

 

If at this point you find yourself a little scared, uncertain, defensive, or annoyed, please take a moment to pray.  God will heap grace and become a balm that soothes.  One thing I know for certain is that we women are full of emotion, both good and bad.  Sometimes we just need to take a few steps back and be open to do some personal study and prayer and let the Holy Spirit lift our fog of emotions to see a little more clearly.  I know that I don’t explain things perfectly, but God’s word becomes plain to those who seek the truth.

 

Take some time to discuss these Scriptures with your husband, and earnestly pray that God will work His will in your life.  As we yield to Scripture and rest upon God’s understanding we will find that the fruit of the Spirit begins to well inside of us.

 

Those negative emotions of the flesh give way to the peace and joy of the Spirit and we begin to feel praise inside for the truth of God’s word.  We can rest knowing that because of our submission to God’s word, He is bound to be faithful for our provision.  (Matt 6:33, Luke 12:24, Phil 4:19) You will still have food, raiment, and all your need met even while staying at home with your children.

Edited by Brother Rick

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If you're a Christian publisher, chalk it up, you're going to be criticized and/or receive opposing reviews (out of spite).

 

On this subject, years ago I was reading Isaiah chapter 3 a verse jumped out at me that made me re-read the chapter many times.

 

As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.
Isaiah 3:12

 

I'd encourage you to read this chapter carefully. There are many parallels we are facing today.

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Face the facts, some women have to work. That includes many Christian women. Not all Christian women are from good Christian homes where they have a husband or even a husband that has a job. Add to that that many husbands want their wives to work. You have to eat and pay the bills.

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Face the facts, some women have to work. That includes many Christian women. Not all Christian women are from good Christian homes where they have a husband or even a husband that has a job. Add to that that many husbands want their wives to work. You have to eat and pay the bills.

 

This is "one of those" subjects. Most people, Christians included will disagree with me. I hope not to offend.

 

I'm grateful my wife has not worked outside the home since we've had children. This "fact" is a significant contribution to our home being a happy home. I could elaborate further if anyone is really interested.

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Face the facts, some women have to work. That includes many Christian women. Not all Christian women are from good Christian homes where they have a husband or even a husband that has a job. Add to that that many husbands want their wives to work. You have to eat and pay the bills.

 

Until my oldest son was in 6th grade we believed the lie that both parents had to work in order to make ends meet. Then we decided to trust what God says in His word and my wife quit her job and started homeschooling our children. 10 years later we are actually doing better now than what we were then. God has blessed us abundantly for following His word.

 

One of my biggest nits to pick are phrases like "face the facts!"

 

Face the facts, you can't make it today without two incomes.

 

Face the facts, kids are going to have sex anyway so you might as well provide them with the morning after pill at 15.

 

Face the facts, most everyone smokes marijuana, it's no worse than alcohol, and we can cut crime if we just legalize it.

 

Face the facts, people are going to gamble so we may as well legalize it and get the tax revenue.

 

Face the facts...

 

How about this one...FACE THE FACTS...GOD's WORD IS TRUE!!!! IT WORKS EVERY TIME IT IS TRIED. How come noone ever wants to face that fact. No, instead when most people "Face the facts" today they are usually going in the opposite direction of God's word and that is how this country is ending up in the gutter.

 

What you say may be true in some cases, ASongOfDegrees, but it is only true because those people have strayed from God in the first place, and if you are a husband that wants your wife to work under the authority or along side other men you are a FOOL! That is not just some man talking, if you'd like I'll get my wife on here and she'll read you the riot act on that foolishness and how it ruined both her sisters' marriages and almost claimed ours, but for the grace of God. Those are the facts...the facts that most people today do not want to face.

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To say a woman should not work outside of the home is ludicrous.  That is a very personal decision to be made by each family.  Each family must do what is best.  Let's consider the "ideal" wife from Proverbs 31, who was a merchant, trader, investor, and worked hard to provide for her family, as well as raising children:

 

From Proverbs 31:

 

She buys farm land, farms, and makes profits.  She uses what she grows to produce merchandise to sell in the marketplace:

 

 

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

 

and

 

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

 

In the New Testament, there are examples of woman with a household working:  

 

Consider Acts 16:

 

 

13 And on the sabbath we went out of the city by a river side, where prayer was wont to be made; and we sat down, and spake unto the women which resorted thither.

14 And a certain woman named Lydia, a seller of purple, of the city of Thyatira, which worshipped God, heard us: whose heart the Lord opened, that she attended unto the things which were spoken of Paul.

15 And when she was baptized, and her household, she besought us, saying, If ye have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come into my house, and abide there. And she constrained us.

 

Lydia produced and sold purple fabric.  She worked and made money to help support her household.

 

Consider Acts 18, where Paul meets with Aquila and Pricella who were both tentmakers by trade:

 

 

After these things Paul departed from Athens, and came to Corinth;

And found a certain Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, lately come from Italy, with his wife Priscilla; (because that Claudius had commanded all Jews to depart from Rome:) and came unto them.

And because he was of the same craft, he abode with them, and wrought: for by their occupation they were tentmakers.

 

Genesis 29:9.  Rachel was a shepherd.

 

And they said, We cannot, until all the flocks be gathered together, and till they roll the stone from the well's mouth; then we water the sheep.

And while he yet spake with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep; for she kept them.

 

I can go on and on, but there are MANY examples in the Bible where women worked to help earn income for the family.  NOWHERE in the Bible is this criticized.  Women in the Bible worked in agriculture, as shepherds, as tailors, manufacturers of linen and cloths, made and sold perfume, were nurses, cooks, managers of households, tent-makers, artisans, etc.  

 

Families work together as units.  The Bible teaches that men and women should not be idle, but be hard workers, in whatever role they are in.  

 

 

I realize all of these were mentioned.  But the author states that nowhere in the Bible does it say these women worked outside of the home.  However, nowhere in the Bible does it say that they worked only in the home either, that is a simple inference on the part of the author.  The functioned and worked within society they way society was structured.  That is what we can see in this.  

 

Now, I am not saying a woman should not stay home either. My wife stays home for now, and plans to go to work when our children are school aged.  I am saying each family should do what is best for their family.  No one should feel guilty for working hard to provide for their family and doing what is necessary to feed, cloth and shelter their family and raise children.

Edited by kindofblue1977

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To say a woman should not work outside of the home is ludicrous.  That is a very personal decision to be made by each family.  Each family must do what is best.  Let's consider the "ideal" wife from Proverbs 31, who was a merchant, trader, investor, and worked hard to provide for her family, as well as raising children:

 

From Proverbs 31:

 

She buys farm land, farms, and makes profits.  She uses what she grows to produce merchandise to sell in the marketplace:

 

 

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

 

and

 

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

 

In the New Testament, there are examples of woman with a household working:  

 

Consider Acts 16:

 

 

13 And on the sabbath we went out of the city by a river side, where prayer was wont to be made; and we sat down, and spake unto the women which resorted thither.

14 And a certain woman named Lydia, a seller of purple, of the city of Thyatira, which worshipped God, heard us: whose heart the Lord opened, that she attended unto the things which were spoken of Paul.

15 And when she was baptized, and her household, she besought us, saying, If ye have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come into my house, and abide there. And she constrained us.

 

Lydia produced and sold purple fabric.  She worked and made money to help support her household.

 

Consider Acts 18, where Paul meets with Aquila and Pricella who were both tentmakers by trade:

 

 

After these things Paul departed from Athens, and came to Corinth;

And found a certain Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, lately come from Italy, with his wife Priscilla; (because that Claudius had commanded all Jews to depart from Rome:) and came unto them.

And because he was of the same craft, he abode with them, and wrought: for by their occupation they were tentmakers.

 

Genesis 29:9.  Rachel was a shepherd.

 

And they said, We cannot, until all the flocks be gathered together, and till they roll the stone from the well's mouth; then we water the sheep.

And while he yet spake with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep; for she kept them.

 

I can go on and on, but there are MANY examples in the Bible where women worked to help earn income for the family.  NOWHERE in the Bible is this criticized.  Women in the Bible worked in agriculture, as shepherds, as tailors, manufacturers of linen and cloths, made and sold perfume, were nurses, cooks, managers of households, tent-makers, artisans, etc.  

 

Families work together as units.  The Bible teaches that men and women should not be idle, but be hard workers, in whatever role they are in.  

 

 

I realize all of these were mentioned.  But the author states that nowhere in the Bible does it say these women worked outside of the home.  However, nowhere in the Bible does it say that they worked only in the home either, that is a simple inference on the part of the author.  The functioned and worked within society they way society was structured.  That is what we can see in this.  

 

Now, I am not saying a woman should not stay home either. My wife stays home for now, and plans to go to work when our children are school aged.  I am saying each family should do what is best for their family.  No one should feel guilty for working hard to provide for their family and doing what is necessary to feed, cloth and shelter their family and raise children.

 

Almost convincing except that every example you provide is of women working "from the home" and not leaving children to others to raise or to putting themselves under the subjection of men OTHER than their husbands.

 

This is the point you are missing but hey do what you want. Sin is a personal thing alright, you did get that part correct. We are all expert at justifying the convenience of living in the flesh. No judgement here brothers, my name ain't wretched for nothing.

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To say a woman should not work outside of the home is ludicrous.  That is a very personal decision to be made by each family. 

 

Now, I am not saying a woman should not stay home either. My wife stays home for now, and plans to go to work when our children are school aged.  I am saying each family should do what is best for their family.  No one should feel guilty for working hard to provide for their family and doing what is necessary to feed, cloth and shelter their family and raise children.

 

Noone is suggesting a woman cannot work outside the home. A woman working under another man's authority is definitely suspect and nothing listed in Proverbs 31 would require her to do so.

 

You are right, it is a personal decision, but ultimately everything in life is a personal decision when you get down to the root of each situation. The question is, are you basing your personal decision on what the Lord would have you do or on your own personal desires?

 

So your wife stays home now, what changes so drastically when your children are school age that you suspect you will no longer be able to feed, clothe, and shelter your family without her working under another man's authority?

 

When you send your children off to school, I hope you find a school with teachers and administrators that are like-minded with you and will not steer them in a direction you would rather they not go.

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Almost convincing except that every example you provide is of women working "from the home" and not leaving children to others to raise or to putting themselves under the subjection of men OTHER than their husbands.

 

This is the point you are missing but hey do what you want. Sin is a personal thing alright, you did get that part correct. We are all expert at justifying the convenience of living in the flesh. No judgement here brothers, my name ain't wretched for nothing.

 

And where does it say they are working from the home?  There are women in the BIble that are servants in households, obviously not working under their husband.  There are women who are merchants.  Yes they may make things at home, but they must travel to find merchants to sell what they make, obtain orders, and fulfill orders.  Investing in real estate, which is mentioned requires going to look at real estate, pricing it, etc.  Farming a field requires going outside to work in the fields.  Lydia clearly had a household, and was a businesswoman in the community.

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Noone is suggesting a woman cannot work outside the home. A woman working under another man's authority is definitely suspect and nothing listed in Proverbs 31 would require her to do so.

 

You are right, it is a personal decision, but ultimately everything in life is a personal decision when you get down to the root of each situation. The question is, are you basing your personal decision on what the Lord would have you do or on your own personal desires?

 

So your wife stays home now, what changes so drastically when your children are school age that you suspect you will no longer be able to feed, clothe, and shelter your family without her working under another man's authority?

 

When you send your children off to school, I hope you find a school with teachers and administrators that are like-minded with you and will not steer them in a direction you would rather they not go.

 

My oldest is in our local public preschool, and we've been extremely happy with it.  She will be in kindergarten next year.  My youngest will start pre-k in the fall.

 

What changes when our children are in school?  Well, my wife will have many hours during the day during which she can work and help earn money.  We will likely save her salary or our kids college education and for retirement.  While she has been the primary caregiver, she will no longer have that responsibility during 8-3:30.  She is strongly considering being a teacher, a job that will allow her to be in school when the kids are, and then home when they are not.

 

And by the way, my wife is not under my authority.  No woman should be under the authority of a man.  Ephesians tells Christians to "submit to one another as unto the Lord" just before going into husband and wives.  We are a team who seeks to put one another's interest before the other's interest.  I put her interest first. She puts mine first.  (though there are times we both fail).  When we do that properly and have "mutual submission" and loving each other as ourselves, it works tremendously.  

 

At any rate, that is how we have arranged our home.  We are fortunate enough to be able for her to stay home while they are small.  When they are school aged, we both feel like going back to work will be great for her and our family.  I've made it clear it is up to her whether she wants to or not.  But we talk about it and together decide what will work best for our family.  

 

Anyway, there is nothing in the Bible that says a woman must stay home.  It is simply not there.  I have pointed to many examples of this which have been dismissed as "they are working within the home."  What I see is women working as farmers, shepherds, seamstress, managers, tent makers, household servants, etc.  Many of them own their own businesses (which is much more demanding than working a day job).

 

Anyway, that is how I see it.  

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Sure, why not..who cares really..as long as it makes you feel good.

 

Only one way to settle this. Your wife versus mine- cage match.

 

Wait a minute, I don't have one anymore..so one of my ex wives then. I have to warn you though, they are pretty vicious. Of course, I made them work outside the home for other men..big reason why they are ex's now.

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Sure, why not..who cares really..as long as it makes you feel good.

 

Only one way to settle this. Your wife versus mine- cage match.

 

Wait a minute, I don't have one anymore..so one of my ex wives then. I have to warn you though, they are pretty vicious. Of course, I made them work outside the home for other men..big reason why they are ex's now.

 

Ummmm....ok.  I don't really follow your point.

 

There is nothing to settle.  

 

I don't make my wife do anything, and we work together as a team and have been happily married for 13 years.  So I really don't get your point.

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And by the way, my wife is not under my authority.  No woman should be under the authority of a man.  Ephesians tells Christians to "submit to one another as unto the Lord" just before going into husband and wives.  We are a team who seeks to put one another's interest before the other's interest.  I put her interest first. She puts mine first.  (though there are times we both fail).  When we do that properly and have "mutual submission" and loving each other as ourselves, it works tremendously.  

 

You need to read all of a biblical reference to be sure you get the context of the passage.

 

Ephesians 5:21-28 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

 

So we are to submit ourselves one to another in the fear of God so that our relationship remains pure. Following this (the part you conveniently left out to make your point) is the fact that the woman is to submit to the husband. Submit in verse 22 means [to subordinate; reflexively, to obey:—be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto].

 

We see this again in 1 Timothy 2

 

1 Timothy 2:11-15 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. 15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

 

And also in 1 Corinthians 11.

 

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

 

I am not saying that man is to lord it over his wife, we are one flesh (Genesis 2:24) and the husband is to love his wife, even as Christ also loved the church. That is a completely selfless love that takes her every desire and care to heart. Our utmost desire should be for their happiness and security. My wife and I have been happily married for 25 years tomorrow. We love each other with all our hearts and trust each other implicitly. We fully discuss every decision to be made of any import and her position has often proven to be the wisest course to take, but ultimately the final decision in the home rests with me, and I will be held accountable for each of them.

 

 

I have pointed to many examples of this which have been dismissed as "they are working within the home." 

This statement is not accurate. They have not been dismissed as working at home, the point is under who's authority, not location.

 

 

 While she has been the primary caregiver, she will no longer have that responsibility during 8-3:30.  She is strongly considering being a teacher, a job that will allow her to be in school when the kids are, and then home when they are not.

 

It is interesting that your wife would rather teach other peoples children over her own just for the sake of money.

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All I can say is that you will receive criticism.....it's just to be expected these days.

 

In our economy it is almost impossible to make ends meet without two incomes.   The economy is built on that whole idea.   I know we cannot make ends meet with what my husband brings in.   I have always tried to "work from home" as long as possible but there have been a few times I've had to go outside of that.  Right now I'm working a little from home but it's really not enough and we are struggling.  Next year I will have to teach in my kids' Christian school, something I'm not excited about, but something that will need to be done.  God only knows what He has for us the following year.

 

However, it is of my opinion that if I know I'm doing right, I shouldn't be offended (and I'm not) at the book.  I disagree in some ways, but I also think it's good to get out there and teach the younger women that it's best to stay home with the kids whenever that is possible.  If it's not possible, well, then it's not possible.  But if the family has a choice, then it's a good choice to make--to stay home with the children.

 

I also strongly disagree with churches who all but force their staff women to work full time in the church/school.  That should be an option, not a requirement.   I remember questioning that in the IFB college I attended...I wondered how, if God said for the woman to be a keeper at home, that the church required so many hours out of their women that their women were being forced to keep their babies in a staff nursery?   They had no answer for me, and I felt it was a horrible thing.

 

Anyway...like I said...if you have to work, don't be offended that this is still being taught to other people who may have a choice in the matter.

 

It is similar to the idea of preaching against divorce in church.  You preach against divorce, and it makes the divorced people mad.  But we just can't stop talking about it, because we have a whole new generation coming up that still needs to hear the truth before they make mistakes in their lives.   This politically correct stuff is keeping our young generation in the dark about so much.

 

I want to add "shame on you" to any that would snidely judge a woman who has to help bring a little income in to help feed the family.  Would you prefer she sign up for food stamps instead?  For shame.  I am pretty sure you have problems in other areas to concentrate on rather than worrying about struggling families.   God brings each family along in their Christian life in different ways and different speeds.   It is up to Him to lead each family, and provide for them in the ways in which He chooses.  He who is without sin cast the first stone....

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My oldest is in our local public preschool, and we've been extremely happy with it.  She will be in kindergarten next year.  My youngest will start pre-k in the fall.

 

What changes when our children are in school?  Well, my wife will have many hours during the day during which she can work and help earn money.  We will likely save her salary or our kids college education and for retirement.  While she has been the primary caregiver, she will no longer have that responsibility during 8-3:30.  She is strongly considering being a teacher, a job that will allow her to be in school when the kids are, and then home when they are not.

 

And by the way, my wife is not under my authority.  No woman should be under the authority of a man.  Ephesians tells Christians to "submit to one another as unto the Lord" just before going into husband and wives.  We are a team who seeks to put one another's interest before the other's interest.  I put her interest first. She puts mine first.  (though there are times we both fail).  When we do that properly and have "mutual submission" and loving each other as ourselves, it works tremendously.  

 

At any rate, that is how we have arranged our home.  We are fortunate enough to be able for her to stay home while they are small.  When they are school aged, we both feel like going back to work will be great for her and our family.  I've made it clear it is up to her whether she wants to or not.  But we talk about it and together decide what will work best for our family.  

 

Anyway, there is nothing in the Bible that says a woman must stay home.  It is simply not there.  I have pointed to many examples of this which have been dismissed as "they are working within the home."  What I see is women working as farmers, shepherds, seamstress, managers, tent makers, household servants, etc.  Many of them own their own businesses (which is much more demanding than working a day job).

 

Anyway, that is how I see it.  

 

They're only in preschool and kindergarten of course you're happy with it. All they do is play and color!

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When I was in the Navy, my wife worked part-time as a nanny. We didn't have any kids at the time, and our appartment was small and could be cleaned in about an hour. Whenever I went on deployments was when she would pick up the nanny jobs. Whenever I was home, she wouldn't work.

 

Now that I am out of the Navy (have been for about a year now), we both have had to work full time until I was able to find a job that would support us solely by my income. My wife, naturally, picked up a job teaching at a day care across the street. Economy hasn't been too great here in WA, so I was only able to pick up a part-time, no benefits gig as a security officer at a hospital. After a year of solid searching, God provided me a job that would allow my wife to no longer have to work. If you want to talk about God's timing: I got the job, finished getting licensed for foster care (a 9 month process that supposedly was only supposed to be 3), and just the other week found out that my wife is pregnant with our first!

 

My wife, God bless her, does her best to be a model Christian woman. Both of us have been trying to get into a position where she wouldn't have to work anymore. A wife working is a decision that a husband needs to make, one made after much prayer and supplication. We felt led to have my wife work for a season, and now that season has come to an end. Praise the Lord!

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I've never run into a case where a mother, who was married to an able-bodied man, had to work outside the home.  Every situation I've ever seen is because they wanted more money, didn't want to give something up or the husband didn't want to work more to earn the needed money.  In other words, something was more important than the kids and the biblical admonition to be a keeper AT home.

 

When the bottom fell out in 2007 I had to work three jobs to keep my family afloat.  My wife worked as a piano teacher from home during that time as well.  I worked normal hours and also at night when my family was sleeping. 

 

We cut and cut and cut, and my income went up eventually to where I now only work two jobs and my wife homeschools the kids with no additional income.  I'm blessed to work normal office hours and to write on Tuesday nights and Sunday afternoons (when people are napping).  We still struggle (I'm an "okay" writer, not a good one!) but God is very good to us and we always make it.

 

It CAN be done.  By doing it that way we've ensured that WE raise our kids, not someone else.  Words cannot express the goodness that comes from that, it is a much greater reward than any amount of money. 

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I've never run into a case where a mother, who was married to an able-bodied man, had to work outside the home.  Every situation I've ever seen is because they wanted more money, didn't want to give something up or the husband didn't want to work more to earn the needed money.  In other words, something was more important than the kids and the biblical admonition to be a keeper AT home.

 

 

 

 

In our case, it is because my husband is being paid "full time" to be the pastor here.  Now that we have four kids, the "full time pay" is no longer fully supporting our family.  However, he does not want to get another job that would take him away from the "full time" because he feels that would be cheating the church.  Anyway, he is also working on his Master's Degree, also being paid for by the church.   

 

So for now, I have to work.  I did have a home business, but after an extremely rough transition this past year, I no longer own it, and believe we are in God's will....so we are just waiting on Him. to show us the right way.  I feel that maybe we are in a transitional time right now, but what we are transitioning to, if anything, remains to be seen.  Trusting God a day at a time.  At least where I'll be working next year is going to be where my kids are....but hoping to get away from full time work as quickly as possible.

 

I feel like God leads each family differently, and sometimes families make mistakes that take a year or two to get back out of (not saying that happened in our case, but who knows, maybe it did) so I don't like telling people that "women aren't supposed to work" as a hard and fast statement.   I can't know 100% what God's will is for each family.   Anyway, it wouldn't go over well around here...almost all women work here unless they're retired....or at least they have to do a little something from home.  VERY difficult to live in a big city area on one income unless that one income is very lucrative.

 

It's definitely ideal for a woman to stay home, but it's not an ideal world...

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I've never run into a case where a mother, who was married to an able-bodied man, had to work outside the home.  Every situation I've ever seen is because they wanted more money, didn't want to give something up or the husband didn't want to work more to earn the needed money.  In other words, something was more important than the kids and the biblical admonition to be a keeper AT home.

 

 

My brother is an able bodied man but is having a hard time finding a job. He's applied everywhere. He's at that point in his life (he'll be 59 next week) where age discrimination starts to kick in. This is for a fact because he was even told that he was too old at one job interview recently. So his wife has to work. Both of them are Christians whose children are grown up and out of the home. It's not like he isn't doing anything though. There' a lot of things around the home that need fixing and he fixes people's cars when he gets a chance.

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