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Pastor Scott Markle

Bible Study, Anyone? On Being A Godly Husband

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A few thoughts - husbands and wives MUST both be committed to serving God in their marriage. It is a partnership and union.
For it to be at it's best, both husband and wife must be committed to the Lord and each other - God's way.

God instituted marriage and it would make sense that He would have an opinion and some advice for it.

Ephesians 5 is one place we find this advice.

In that chapter we are given some commands from God for firstly the bride, and then for the groom, and then we are given the purpose for marriage.

Verse 22 speaks to the wife.
Ephesians 5:22 (KJV)
22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Many people are offended by this concept of submission but they don're understand it nor put it into proper context.
To put it simply it means that the wife is to totally dedicated and commited to her husband. He is to be number one in her life, only after God and none other placed before him.
That means wife, that whatever situation you find yourself in, your very first thoughts should be about how it will relate to and affect your husband.

This will be made so much easier though if the husband also obeys the command to husbands which is found in verse 25

Ephesians 5:25 (KJV)
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

If you the husband will love his wife then it will be easy for her to submit to you.
Actually husband, the command to you is much harder than to the wife, as we are not talking about romantic love, but Bible love as it is described in 1 Corinthians 13.
That is where God talks about true Bible love and He says that you need to love your wife like that - with patience and kindness, not envious, nor proud, not badly behaved, nor selfish, not quickly angry, nor jumping to conclusion, not happy to see her sin, but rather to be happy to see her in righteousness, and loving her with truth, always supportive, always trusting, ALWAYS THERE!

You see you are to hold her also in the prime place of your life, after God alone and none else.

You both are commanded to hold the other in first place among men, with only God to stand higher.
And these are commands, not suggestions.

And the reason for this is found in verse 31 and following.
Ephesians 5:31-33
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church .
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love you wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Your marriage is to be an example to everyone around of the love displayed by God in sending His Son to die for our sins, and also of the reverence for Christ of sinners who are trusting God's loving provision for our salvation.

When people see your marriage they should be prompted to wonder at your love and respect for each other, and see that it springs forth out of your love and commitment to Christ.

Wonderful biblical truth! There is no better marriage than one where both husband and wife are truly committed to the Lord and obeying His Word.

 

It's also important for us husbands to take note that part of our headship in the home is biblically loving our wives. One of the ways we help our wives to learn and grow in the Lord, and to make things easier for her to do so, is by our example. When we love our wives in accord with Scripture we make the way much easier for our wives to walk in the biblical commands for wives.

 

One area I've seen many marriages suffer in is when the husband and wife pay more heed to the Word aimed at the other. One or both of them read the Word for the other and then push, prod and badger them to do what the Word says, while ignoring what the Word tells them to do. So many times I've heard husbands and wives declaring that as soon as their spouse starts doing what the Word says they will too. Often such an attitude comes with them saying they will push and push until their spouse gets it right.

 

To my shame, I did some of that early in my marriage. I would take note of the ways my wife wasn't meeting all the commands of Scripture for her and then bring it up often and basically tell her she needed to get her act together. Totally wrong and unhelpful! I'm thankful to the Lord I didn't push this as much as I've seen others (which I know I could have fallen into that) and the Lord brought my attention to the fact I'm responsible to learn what I'm commanded to do and to actually do that regardless of what my wife is or isn't doing. I also learned that by doing what the Lord commanded me I was setting an example for my wife, destressing our relationship, making her much more open to talking over the Word and seeking my guidance.

 

The Lord moving me in the right direction in this area (and other areas) came when I heard the pastor call the congregation to attention one day in the midst of his sermon and tell us not to be looking around or thinking of who needs to hear what he's saying or who needs to do what he's preaching. Our pastor said the truth is we each need to be hearing what he's preaching and examine our own lives to see if we are doing what the Word says. Amen!

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A godly husband needs to fulfil his God ordained position as the head of his wife.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

I think many husbands neglect or ignore their position as head and the woman ends up taking over because someone has to do it, of course this is opposing God's will, it is the way of the world.

When a Christian husband steps up and takes leadership like he should then it pleases his wife, for she is wanting him to do it, wanting him to 'play the man' and 'wear the pants' in their home. Satan doesn't want this, that's why he's so busy trying to reverse the roles in the home in these last days, he's quite successful at it too!

Edited by Soj

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For informational purposes:

 

1.  I myself have been joyfully thrilled and spiritually encouraged by the participation and contributions over this past week.  I believe that it is appropriate and necessary for me to express this publicly due to my previous expression of grief and burden in post #3 at the lack of participation to that point.  I thank you for your participation in this Bible study discussion, and I look forward to more yet to come.

 

2.  In various of the contributions, we have touched upon some of the details involved in the principles for being a godly husband. This is to be expected in such a Bible study discussion.  In fact, when I started this discussion, I already intended the possibility (if things progressed well in this discussion) to expand the Bible study discussion into "expansion threads" for the purpose of examining these details (such as cleaving unto one's wife, love for one's wife, communication with one's wife, etc.) in greater Biblical depth.  I have not yet created any such "expansion threads" because I myself find it difficult to participate in too many such discussion at the same time.  I will procede with this plan -- when this particular broader discussion seems to be drawing to a conclusion (which is not yet the case in my opinion, since my own gathered list of responsibilities for a godly husband includes principles that have not even been mentioned yet), or when this broader discussion seems to be "pushing" for such an "expansion thread" on a particular matter, or when one of the participants in this broader discussion makes a strong request for such to be done. 

 

3.  As some may have noticed, I myself have been interacting with the contributions in this discussion primarily in the order in which they have been presented, and have been providing a summary list of principles to that point.  I am doing this because I strongly prefer organizational precision.  (Yes, my books are arranged by subject matter in alphabetical order by author; and yes, my shirts, ties, and dress pants are arranged in my closet by color.  Yes indeed, I am one of those types.)  I recognize that such a practice may appear awkward to some.  Thus I request that you might be patient with me.

 

4.  Some of the most recent contributions have included some emphasis upon the wife's responsibility toward her husband.  When I started this Bible study discussion, I wondered if there might be profit in doing a similar Bible study discussion on the Biblical principles for being a godly wife.  At this point I remain somewhat hesitant for the following reasons:  Will such a discussion be carried forward only by the men (not that this is completely unaccaptable)?  Will the women be interested in contributing equally with the men?  Will the women be offended by the men's contributions?  Will a regularity of interaction between the men and the women create conflicts?  (Note: My own wife can get somewhat uncomfortable by my own interacting over-much with women online.)

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1 Peter 3:7 - Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

 

I think there are a couple of principles/precepts we can glean from this verse.  First, we must recognize that our wives, as the weaker vessels, need and deserve our protection and physical help.  Indeed we, as men, are given a wife as a help meet (Gen 2:18).  It is to fill in our gaps as men, not to take some of our duties so we can relax.  It is therefore our responsibility to care for our wives to the best of our abilities which may include quite literally defending her life with ours or simply taking care of those physically demanding house chores that enable her to be a godly wife (e.g., fix the sink, carry the heavy box upstairs).

 

A second principle/precept we can take from this is that they are equal heirs to God’s grace.  I think a lot of times we men, as spiritual leaders of the household, have a tendency to assume that our take on things is the right one.  Something we must remember is that they receive the same Holy Spirit that we do and have equal access to God.  Godly husbands should never dismiss the input or concerns of their wives, particularly when they call us out on something.  Though we are the ones ultimately spiritually responsible for our family, we would be categorically stupid to accept and even seek the input of our wives.  As mentioned above, they are our help meet.  They fill our gaps; and that means both physically and spiritually.  I have to say that regardless of my wife’s level of spiritual growth relative to mine, she always makes me a better Christian because she shows me, often by example, of ways that I fall short and need to improve; even more so when she calls to my attention inconsistencies.  I must admit that it was my wife who pressed me to start us on faithful tithing, and what a blessing that has proven to be!

 

Brother Matt,

 

1 Peter 3:7 actually presents a number of principles for the godly husband.  Immediately, the two early verbs (the second being a verbal -- mentioned for the sake of the grammarians) signal two definite principles.  First, the godly husband must dwell at harmony with his wife in accord with his knowledge of her.  "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them [with your wives] according to knowledge."  Herein the word "abide" means "to live in a home with another."  However, when employed in a context where the emphasis is less about location and more about relationship, the word conveys the idea of living at home with another, that is -- abiding at harmony with another. 

 

Now, since this dwelling at harmony with one's wife is to be done "according to knowledge," this implies another principle for the godly husband -- The godly husband must put forth the effort and energy to know his own wife as an individual.  Indeed, the godly husband must put forth the effort and energy to know his wife's "individual personality, to know her individual joys and burdens, to know her individual likes and dislikes, to know her individual delights and annoyances, to know her individual pleasures and pains, to know her individual strengths and weaknesses, to know her individual hopes and fears.  In addition, the husband must come to know how his own wife thinks and feels differently from himself." (Excerpt taken from my book, "God's Wisdom for Marriage & The Home")

 

Second, the godly husband must specifically give honor unto his wife, as unto a precious treasure.  "Giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life."  In fact, grammatically the descriptives of the wife as "the weacker vessel" and as a joint-hear "of the grace of life" are directly tied to this principle of honor.  All of the things that you mention above (giving one's life to protect her, doing the physically (and emotionally) demanding chores for her, recognizing the spiritual character and wisdom in her, accepting spiritual counsel and correction from her, etc.) is all bound up in specifically giving this honor unto her.

 

Finally, the warning to the husband in the closing line of 1 Peter 3:7 is also worthy of great notice.  "That your prayers be not hindered."  If we husbands are not faithful in fulfilling our Biblical responsibilities toward our wives, then our sinful failure in this regard will hinder the effectiveness of our prayer lives.  In fact, then the Lord our God will reject our prayers.  So then, how much do we need each day to be on praying ground in order to "obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need"?  (Being a God-appointed pastor, I would also ask -- How much do we pastors need each day to be on praying ground concerning our ministries?)  Indeed, we husbands had better be more faithful in pursuing a good, godly relationship with our wives; and when we sinfully fail, we had better repent thereof before the Lord our God and our beloved wives.

 

So then, including these contributions to the Bible study, and including the principle that I presented in post #10 --

Proverbs 18:22, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD."


From the principle of this verse, I conclude that the husband must ever appreciate his wife as a good gift and precious treasure of the Lord's gracious favor.

 

We have the following list of principles:

 

  1.  The godly husband must leave his priority relationship with his parents. (Genesis 2:24)
  2.  The godly husband must continually cleave to his wife, and not ever allow himself to be separate in relationship from her.

       (Genesis 2:18, 24; Matthew 19:5-6)

  3.  The godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife. (Genesis 2:24)

  4.  The godly husband must love his wife just as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25-28, 33; Colossians 3:19)

  5.  The godly husband must recognize his God-declared need for the help of his wife. (Genesis 2:18)

  6.  The godly husband must ever appreciate his wife as a good gift and precious treasure of the Lord's gracious favor.

       (Proverbs 18:22)

  7.  The godly husband must actively pursue a companionship with his wife as his dearest human friend. (Malachi 2:14)

  8.  The godly husband must openly communicate with his wife in a gracious manner that is good to the use of edifying.

       (Ephesians 4:29; etc.)

  9.  The godly husband must dwell at harmony with his wife in accord with his knowledge of her. (1 Peter 3:7)

10.  The godly husband must put forth the effort and energy to know his own wife as an individual. (1 Peter 3:7)

11.  The godly husband must specifically give honor unto his wife, as unto a precious treasure. (1 Peter 3:7)

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A few thoughts - husbands and wives MUST both be committed to serving God in their marriage. It is a partnership and union.
For it to be at it's best, both husband and wife must be committed to the Lord and each other - God's way.

God instituted marriage and it would make sense that He would have an opinion and some advice for it.

Ephesians 5 is one place we find this advice.

In that chapter we are given some commands from God for firstly the bride, and then for the groom, and then we are given the purpose for marriage.

Verse 22 speaks to the wife.
Ephesians 5:22 (KJV)
22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Many people are offended by this concept of submission but they don're understand it nor put it into proper context.
To put it simply it means that the wife is to totally dedicated and commited to her husband. He is to be number one in her life, only after God and none other placed before him.
That means wife, that whatever situation you find yourself in, your very first thoughts should be about how it will relate to and affect your husband.

This will be made so much easier though if the husband also obeys the command to husbands which is found in verse 25

Ephesians 5:25 (KJV)
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

If you the husband will love his wife then it will be easy for her to submit to you.
Actually husband, the command to you is much harder than to the wife, as we are not talking about romantic love, but Bible love as it is described in 1 Corinthians 13.
That is where God talks about true Bible love and He says that you need to love your wife like that - with patience and kindness, not envious, nor proud, not badly behaved, nor selfish, not quickly angry, nor jumping to conclusion, not happy to see her sin, but rather to be happy to see her in righteousness, and loving her with truth, always supportive, always trusting, ALWAYS THERE!

You see you are to hold her also in the prime place of your life, after God alone and none else.

You both are commanded to hold the other in first place among men, with only God to stand higher.
And these are commands, not suggestions.

And the reason for this is found in verse 31 and following.
Ephesians 5:31-33
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church .
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love you wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Your marriage is to be an example to everyone around of the love displayed by God in sending His Son to die for our sins, and also of the reverence for Christ of sinners who are trusting God's loving provision for our salvation.

When people see your marriage they should be prompted to wonder at your love and respect for each other, and see that it springs forth out of your love and commitment to Christ.

 

I know this is my first comment in this thread, but I have been greatly edified by it. When Brother Dave referenced Ephesians 5:22, something struck me that I had never thought of before. I have read that particular verse many, many times and I was blinded to this simple truth because of my pride. The wife is commanded to submit to her husband as unto the Lord, and as Brother Dave pointed out, husbands are called to love their wife as Christ loved the church. I have struggled with this concept because my definition of 'love' was not the same as the Bible definition of 'love'. I would tell my wife that I love her every day, do nice things for her, and the like; but I had always maintained somewhat of an emotional distance from her.

 

I would like to say that it was due to how I dealt with being separated from her when I went on deployments, and that I had allowed it to stick around even after I had gotten back, but that is not the case. I realized that I had (have) a pride issue. I felt that I deserved her submission because of this passage. I think a lot of Christian men fall into the same trap. The thought that I had was this: I had a submission issue as well. I was demanding that my wife submit to me, but I was refusing to submit myself to Christ by fully following His teachings. What I had done was effectively picked out what parts fit best for me, and conveniently forgot the rest. I thank God that the Holy Spirit convicted me of this! Blinded by my pride, I had placed my marriage in a place where a lesser person would have left me years ago! Thank you Lord, for blessing a doofus like myself with a wife that loves You more than me! (I hope doofus doesn't offend anybody, if it does let me know and I will remove it).

 

By learning to submit myself to Christ, I learned to love her the way that Christ told me to. I hope that this all makes sense, as I am a little tired at the moment! I hate it when I feel like I'm just rambling. Brother Markel, thanks for hosting this thread, and I look forward to growing as a husband.

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I know this is my first comment in this thread, but I have been greatly edified by it. When Brother Dave referenced Ephesians 5:22, something struck me that I had never thought of before. I have read that particular verse many, many times and I was blinded to this simple truth because of my pride. The wife is commanded to submit to her husband as unto the Lord, and as Brother Dave pointed out, husbands are called to love their wife as Christ loved the church. I have struggled with this concept because my definition of 'love' was not the same as the Bible definition of 'love'. I would tell my wife that I love her every day, do nice things for her, and the like; but I had always maintained somewhat of an emotional distance from her.

 

I would like to say that it was due to how I dealt with being separated from her when I went on deployments, and that I had allowed it to stick around even after I had gotten back, but that is not the case. I realized that I had (have) a pride issue. I felt that I deserved her submission because of this passage. I think a lot of Christian men fall into the same trap. The thought that I had was this: I had a submission issue as well. I was demanding that my wife submit to me, but I was refusing to submit myself to Christ by fully following His teachings. What I had done was effectively picked out what parts fit best for me, and conveniently forgot the rest. I thank God that the Holy Spirit convicted me of this! Blinded by my pride, I had placed my marriage in a place where a lesser person would have left me years ago! Thank you Lord, for blessing a doofus like myself with a wife that loves You more than me! (I hope doofus doesn't offend anybody, if it does let me know and I will remove it).

 

By learning to submit myself to Christ, I learned to love her the way that Christ told me to. I hope that this all makes sense, as I am a little tired at the moment! I hate it when I feel like I'm just rambling. Brother Markel, thanks for hosting this thread, and I look forward to growing as a husband.

Indeed this makes much sense! How easy it is for us to see that our wives are to submit to us and for us to see when they are not, but to easily miss, or ignore, the fact we are to be submitted to Christ and we are not doing so!

 

Without a doubt I know from my own experience that the closer I have drawn to Christ over the years the more my love for my wife has deepened and matured. Often I will take time to thank God for giving me such a love for my wife that I once never even knew was possible. There is so much more to loving our wives than the emotional aspect or even the belief that we would die for our wives.

 

It's rather easy to say we would jump between our wives and an angry grizzly bear, willing to die to save our wives, but we truly show our love when we humble ourselves and wash the dishes just because we love our wife. It took some years for me to learn that one!

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Indeed this makes much sense! How easy it is for us to see that our wives are to submit to us and for us to see when they are not, but to easily miss, or ignore, the fact we are to be submitted to Christ and we are not doing so!

 

Without a doubt I know from my own experience that the closer I have drawn to Christ over the years the more my love for my wife has deepened and matured. Often I will take time to thank God for giving me such a love for my wife that I once never even knew was possible. There is so much more to loving our wives than the emotional aspect or even the belief that we would die for our wives.

 

It's rather easy to say we would jump between our wives and an angry grizzly bear, willing to die to save our wives, but we truly show our love when we humble ourselves and wash the dishes just because we love our wife. It took some years for me to learn that one!

 

Amen! If we are going to love our wives as Christ loved the church then we have to do what he did, become a servant. We don't need to remind our wives that we are the king of our home, if they love us (and mine wouldn't put up with me if she didn't love me) then they know that. We need to show our wives that we love them enough to humble ourselves and become a servant. My mother always told us that love doesn't say "what can you do for me" but rather "what can I do for you?".

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How can I put a "like" by all the comments in this thread with one single check of a box? Of course I can't. This is valuable for those who comment and those who read as well. But, its value is dependent on use; I'm guilty, I don't use these commands and principles from God's Holy Word enough.

 

Today my devotions were in 1 Pet. 3 and Pro. 18.

 

God reinforces the doctrine of co-equality of husband and wife:

1 Pet. 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

 

God reinforces that any praise we receive is a testimony to our wife as well:

Pro. 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

 

Are we praying for God's favor (blessing) in some aspect of our lives? Are we at odds with our "good thing" (wife)? Is it possible God's "favour" is "hindered;" the result of a lack of "honour" overdue or even missing from our relationship with our "help meet?"

 

Each time I go to my mother's to help with something, as I'm leaving, she says, "Be sure to tell Sally thanks for letting you come over."

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1 Corinthians 7:3-5 " Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."

This is not advice, this is a command.

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My wife and I were looking through Genesis 2 & 3 tonight and came across this verse in Ch 3.
16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

The interesting thing from this is the correlation to the Ephesians verses I already mentioned.

We were trying to figure out how Eve desiring her husband and Adam ruling over her were curses.

It occurred to us during our discussion of it, that maybe, rather than God cursing them in these ways, that He was simply stating the results of their sin.
From that point on women would desire to be loved and men would desire to be obeyed.

What we see today is that (as some mentioned here) the men look at Ephesians and say "she doesn't obey me" and women look and say "he doesn't love me".
Ephesians is in fact talking about the saved man and woman being restored to the.original state of relationship, where the man loves his wife and the woman gladly submits to his loving rule.

Does that make sense, or have I completely mashed up my explanation? :D

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My wife and I were looking through Genesis 2 & 3 tonight and came across this verse in Ch 3.
16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

The interesting thing from this is the correlation to the Ephesians verses I already mentioned.

We were trying to figure out how Eve desiring her husband and Adam ruling over her were curses.

It occurred to us during our discussion of it, that maybe, rather than God cursing them in these ways, that He was simply stating the results of their sin.
From that point on women would desire to be loved and men would desire to be obeyed.

What we see today is that (as some mentioned here) the men look at Ephesians and say "she doesn't obey me" and women look and say "he doesn't love me".
Ephesians is in fact talking about the saved man and woman being restored to the.original state of relationship, where the man loves his wife and the woman gladly submits to his loving rule.

Does that make sense, or have I completely mashed up my explanation? :D

 

Never thought about it that way, but it makes perfect sense!

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My wife and I were looking through Genesis 2 & 3 tonight and came across this verse in Ch 3.
16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

The interesting thing from this is the correlation to the Ephesians verses I already mentioned.

We were trying to figure out how Eve desiring her husband and Adam ruling over her were curses.

It occurred to us during our discussion of it, that maybe, rather than God cursing them in these ways, that He was simply stating the results of their sin.
From that point on women would desire to be loved and men would desire to be obeyed.

What we see today is that (as some mentioned here) the men look at Ephesians and say "she doesn't obey me" and women look and say "he doesn't love me".
Ephesians is in fact talking about the saved man and woman being restored to the.original state of relationship, where the man loves his wife and the woman gladly submits to his loving rule.

Does that make sense, or have I completely mashed up my explanation? :D

 

Brother Dave,

 

I believe that I understand your point.  (Thus you did not completely "mash up" your explanation.)  However, I do not agree with your interpretation of closing statement of Genesis 3:16, primarily because I do not agree with your premise --
 

It occurred to us during our discussion of it, that maybe, rather than God cursing them in these ways, that He was simply stating the results of their sin.

 

I would strongly contend that the closing statement of Genesis 3:16 is a curse statement just as every other statement within Genesis 3:14-19.  In fact, there is no other statement in this entire curse context that carries either a neutral or a positive force for the individual to whom it is delivered.  (Certainly, the statement in verse 15 concerning the serpent's head being bruised by the woman's seed carries a positive salvation-force for us, but it does not carry a positive force for the serpent (the devil) to whom it was directly delivered.)  If then we recognize the closing statement of Genesis 3:16, which was specifically delivered to the woman, as a curse statement, we must ask -- In  what manner does it serve as a curse upon the woman?

 

"And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

 

Herein the Hebrew word that is translated as "desire" indicates a strong attitude or feeling.  However, it does not inherent indicate either a postive or a negative force to that strong attitude or feeling.  It is by the context that we must determine whether the strong attitude or feeling carries a negative or a positive force.  (This Hebrew noun is employed only two other times in the Old Testament -- in Genesis 4:7 and in Song of Solomon 7:10.  In the context of Genesis 4:7, it carries a negative force; and in Song of Solomon 7:10, it carries a positive force.)  Since the context of Genesis 3:16 concerns the curse upon the woman (as I have contended above), I would conclude that the word is intended to carry a negative force in this statement. 

 

Furthermore, the preposition "to" of the prepositional phrase "to thy husband" indicates the direction of this strong attitude or feeling.  Indeed, from the time of sin's origin within human nature and of sin's corruption upon human character, the wife would naturally possess a strong, negative attitude directed toward (or, negatively against) her husband.  Yet in what way would she possess such a strong, negative attitude toward her husband?  Certainly, she would not possess such a strong, negative attitude against her husband's love for her, or against his care of her, or against his honor to her.  Rather, the wife would now naturally (in the selfishness of the sin nature) possess a strong, negative attitude against her husband's rule over her.  In fact, this is the intended point of the closing phrase in Genesis 3:16 -- "And he shall have rule over thee."  This phrase signals the relational element with her husband that the wife will naturally (in the selfishness of her sin nature) oppose. 

 

From the beginning, the man was created for the role of leadership; and the wife was created for the role of submission.  Before sin entered into the relationship, there was no conflict with this arrangement whatsoever.  Yet after the sin entered into the relationship and corrupted its God-ordained arrangement, the wife's selfish sin-nature would ever oppose this arrangement.  This would be a part of sin's curse upon her -- The God-ordained arrangement would remain in place, but her nature would now chafe under it. 

 

In like manner, the husband's selfish sin-nature would also chare under a particular aspect of this arrangement.  Certainly, it would not oppose the privileges of the leadership role.  Indeed, the husband's selfish sin-nature would now seek to exploit the privileges of that leadership role.  Rather, the husband's selfish sin-nature would now oppose the responsibilities of the leadership role.  This is signalled by the opening rebuke of Genesis 3:17 -- "And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife."  From the first temptation of the man and from his yielding to it, the selfish sin-nature of the husband would ever move him to chafe under the God-given responsibilities of his leadership role and to neglect those God-given responsibilities.

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Brother Dave,

 

I believe that I understand your point.  (Thus you did not completely "mash up" your explanation.)  However, I do not agree with your interpretation of closing statement of Genesis 3:16, primarily because I do not agree with your premise --
 

 

I would strongly contend that the closing statement of Genesis 3:16 is a curse statement just as every other statement within Genesis 3:14-19.  In fact, there is no other statement in this entire curse context that carries either a neutral or a positive force for the individual to whom it is delivered.  (Certainly, the statement in verse 15 concerning the serpent's head being bruised by the woman's seed carries a positive salvation-force for us, but it does not carry a positive force for the serpent (the devil) to whom it was directly delivered.)  If then we recognize the closing statement of Genesis 3:16, which was specifically delivered to the woman, as a curse statement, we must ask -- In  what manner does it serve as a curse upon the woman?

 

"And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

 

Herein the Hebrew word that is translated as "desire" indicates a strong attitude or feeling.  However, it does not inherent indicate either a postive or a negative force to that strong attitude or feeling.  It is by the context that we must determine whether the strong attitude or feeling carries a negative or a positive force.  (This Hebrew noun is employed only two other times in the Old Testament -- in Genesis 4:7 and in Song of Solomon 7:10.  In the context of Genesis 4:7, it carries a negative force; and in Song of Solomon 7:10, it carries a positive force.)  Since the context of Genesis 3:16 concerns the curse upon the woman (as I have contended above), I would conclude that the word is intended to carry a negative force in this statement. 

 

Furthermore, the preposition "to" of the prepositional phrase "to thy husband" indicates the direction of this strong attitude or feeling.  Indeed, from the time of sin's origin within human nature and of sin's corruption upon human character, the wife would naturally possess a strong, negative attitude directed toward (or, negatively against) her husband.  Yet in what way would she possess such a strong, negative attitude toward her husband?  Certainly, she would not possess such a strong, negative attitude against her husband's love for her, or against his care of her, or against his honor to her.  Rather, the wife would now naturally (in the selfishness of the sin nature) possess a strong, negative attitude against her husband's rule over her.  In fact, this is the intended point of the closing phrase in Genesis 3:16 -- "And he shall have rule over thee."  This phrase signals the relational element with her husband that the wife will naturally (in the selfishness of her sin nature) oppose. 

 

From the beginning, the man was created for the role of leadership; and the wife was created for the role of submission.  Before sin entered into the relationship, there was no conflict with this arrangement whatsoever.  Yet after the sin entered into the relationship and corrupted its God-ordained arrangement, the wife's selfish sin-nature would ever oppose this arrangement.  This would be a part of sin's curse upon her -- The God-ordained arrangement would remain in place, but her nature would now chafe under it. 

 

In like manner, the husband's selfish sin-nature would also chare under a particular aspect of this arrangement.  Certainly, it would not oppose the privileges of the leadership role.  Indeed, the husband's selfish sin-nature would now seek to exploit the privileges of that leadership role.  Rather, the husband's selfish sin-nature would now oppose the responsibilities of the leadership role.  This is signalled by the opening rebuke of Genesis 3:17 -- "And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife."  From the first temptation of the man and from his yielding to it, the selfish sin-nature of the husband would ever move him to chafe under the God-given responsibilities of his leadership role and to neglect those God-given responsibilities.

 

I concur.  I think these behaviors and tendencies have become more pronounced over the last century or two with the rise of feminism as well as in the ever-present examples of husbands abusing their wives throughout the ages and cultures.  When we let our sin-nature take over, these curses begin to rear their ugly heads.  This is why a discussion/study such as this is so important.  We must learn to deny our selfish sin-nature and make an active effort to progress toward the godly husbands that we should be.

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Dave W, Fixation, Scott, and Matt (Brethren) excellent comments and thoughts started from a quiet devotion between husband and wife. There is some real meat here to sink my teeth into, I need some time to process all this.

 

One question the word "rule" here, I wish I had time to look it up but, I have an appointment tomorrow morning and have to hit the sack.

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I think the following point is very important and is a key ingredient to a healthy marriage, it comes under Bro. Scott's principle #3 The godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife.

The godly husband must make love to his wife, and must not restrict himself from her.

1 Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. [3] Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. [4] The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. [5] Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

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One question the word "rule" here, I wish I had time to look it up but, I have an appointment tomorrow morning and have to hit the sack.


As Christian husbands we don't think of ourselves as "rulers" over our wives, but that is what we are according to scripture. God has set it up to be so, the man is the head of the home and that means he is to rule it in the fear of the Lord, and those under him are to submit and obey. All within the godly Christian home of course, it can't be successful any other way.

Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

The above verse is within the church context but the principles of rulership can be applied in any God ordained position of authority, including the home.

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Well, that is the bit I didn't explain very well - I didn't mean to imply that the breakdown of relationship closeness was not a part of the curse.

The thing that struck me was that breakdown is mentioned in Gen 3, and we, as saved people, are called to work at those same parts in Eph 5.

Part of the old man - new man bit I think.

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Soj, on 15 February 2013, in post #19, said: 

This is good stuff brethren and worthy to be taken very seriously by us all, with point number 4 I often consider Ephesians 5:28-30 a huge and often daunting challenge, to emulate Christ's great love for the church and to love her as myself? I know I love my wife more than any other mortal, but fear I fall short of the expectations of this verse, it surely takes much self sacrifice and effort, perhaps over time I can achieve it...

 

Ephesians 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

 

I thank God for a godly wife, she makes it so much easier to be a godly husband, amen.

 

musician4god1611, on 15 February 2013, in post #20, said: 

Ephesians 5:28 "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." I think of the things that annoy me and realize how they can make my whole day seem bad, so I have been trying to avoid the things that annoy my wife. Not because she would make my life miserable (she doesn't do that) but because I want to treat her like she is part of me. I would never be inconsiderate of myself so I don't want to be inconsiderate of her.


Indeed, in the context of loving our wives, Ephesians 5:28-30 presents two further principles for the godly husband in his relationship with his wife.  "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.  He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones."  In Ephesians 5:25 we husbands are instructed to love our wives "even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it."  In Ephesians 5:28 we husbands are then instructed to love our wives as our "own bodies," nourishing and cherishing them even as we naturally nourish and cherish ourselves.  This also we are to do even as our Lord Jesus Christ nourishes and cherishes the church, viewing the members of His church as the very members of His own body.  (Note:  Grammatically, it is of interest that in verse 25 Christ is presented as having loved (past tense) the church; whereas in verse 28 He is presented as loving the church by nourishing and cherishing (present tense) it.)  Even so --

 

The godly husband must nourish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church as His own body.

 

The godly husband must cherish his wife as his own body, even as Christ cherishes the church as His own body.

 

 

So then, with the addition of these two principles, our list of principles for the godly husband is as follows:

 

  1.  The godly husband must leave his priority relationship with his parents. (Genesis 2:24)
  2.  The godly husband must continually cleave to his wife, and not ever allow himself to be separate in relationship from her.

       (Genesis 2:18, 24; Matthew 19:5-6)

  3.  The godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife. (Genesis 2:24)

  4.  The godly husband must love his wife just as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25-28, 33; Colossians 3:19)

  5.  The godly husband must nourish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  6.  The godly husband must cherish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  7.  The godly husband must recognize his God-declared need for the help of his wife. (Genesis 2:18)

  8.  The godly husband must ever appreciate his wife as a good gift and precious treasure of the Lord's gracious favor.

       (Proverbs 18:22)

  9.  The godly husband must actively pursue a companionship with his wife as his dearest human friend. (Malachi 2:14)

10.  The godly husband must openly communicate with his wife in a gracious manner that is good to the use of edifying.

       (Ephesians 4:29; etc.)

11.  The godly husband must dwell at harmony with his wife in accord with his knowledge of her. (1 Peter 3:7)

12.  The godly husband must put forth the effort and energy to know his own wife as an individual. (1 Peter 3:7)

13.  The godly husband must specifically give honor unto his wife, as unto a precious treasure. (1 Peter 3:7)

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Considering Gen 3, I would like to submit that the cause of the original breakdown of relationship was the form of Adam's sin - that he put his love for his wife above his love for God.
A good husband will therefore, first and foremost be one who puts the Lord above his wife, but according to the many other posts and points, None and nothing other than the Lord above his wife.

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Considering Gen 3, I would like to submit that the cause of the original breakdown of relationship was the form of Adam's sin - that he put his love for his wife above his love for God.
A good husband will therefore, first and foremost be one who puts the Lord above his wife, but according to the many other posts and points, None and nothing other than the Lord above his wife.

 

Wow! I can't believe we overlooked this most important of all principles. Thanks Dave. 

 

Also, scripture and the triangle thing agree with your thought.

 

 

Luke 18
28 Then Peter said, Lo, we have left all, and followed thee.
29 And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake,
30 Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting.
 
Note: This in no way authorizes a man to turn and run from the responsibilities to the family God gave him. It means to have God first (Peter still had a wife he cared for).

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A godly husband needs to fulfil his God ordained position as the head of his wife.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

I think many husbands neglect or ignore their position as head and the woman ends up taking over because someone has to do it, of course this is opposing God's will, it is the way of the world.

 

Amen, Brother "Soj."

 

The godly husband does indeed need to fulfill his God-ordained role of headship in his relationship with his wife.  Yet the husband needs to understand that according to the standard of God's Word, headship is not to be defined primarily as a position of selfish privilege, but as a position of service responsibility.  Indeed, there is a great burden of responsibility in Biblical headship; and the godly husband must faithfully and fervently shoulder this burden.  He must not neglect this burden of responsibility or leave it for his wife to carry. 

 

Now, this burden of headship responsibility can be seen in three significant categories of leadership.  First, there is the reponsibility to build a healthy, one-flesh marriage relationship.  Thus the godly husband will take the lead in putting forth the effort to develope and maintain such a relationship with his wife.  Even so, in the foundational principles for a good marriage as delivered by the Lord our God in Genesis 2:24, the first two principles are delivered specifically to the husband; then the third is delivered to both the husband and the wife.  "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."  Second, there is the responsibility to pursue the service of the Lord.  Thus the godly husband will take the lead in setting a spiritual example of love for and service to the Lord our God.  Even so, in the closing portion of Joshua 24:15, the man of God Joshua declared, "But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."  Third, there is the responsibility to train up the children in the way of righteousness.  Thus the godly husband will take the lead in training and disciplining the children according to God's Word of truth.  Even so, Ephesians 6:4 delivers the instruction specifically to the fathers, saying, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

 

To summarize all of this, I would present the principle that the godly husband must shoulder the burden of leadership responsibility, especially concerning spiritual matters.

 

Yet there is another principle to be considered from 1 Corinthians 11:3 -- "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."  Herein we learn that "the head of the woman [the wife] is the man [her husband]."  Yet herein we also learn "that the head of every man is Christ."  Thus we must understand that the husband's headship authority is delegated authority, directly from his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ Himself.  Thus we must also understand that the husband is fully accountable unto his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ, for the manner in which he fulfills his headship responsibility in relation to his wife. 

 

Indeed, in Malachi 2:13-16 the Lord our God very severely rebuked the husbands of Israel for dealing treacherousnly against their wives, indicating that He is ever watching and is ever bearing witness.  "And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.  Yet ye say, Wherefore?  Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.  And did not he make one?  Yet had he the residue of the spirit.  And wherefore one?  That he might seek a godly seed.  Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously."  In like manner, the closing portion of 1 Peter 3:7 delivers the warning unto husbands concerning their right relationship with their wives, saying, "That your prayers be not hindered."

 

To summarize all of this, I would present the principle that the godly husband must remember that he is responsible and accountable to his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

Indeed, this is the very lesson from the Lord that Brother "Fixation" presented in post #30 --

The thought that I had was this: I had a submission issue as well. I was demanding that my wife submit to me, but I was refusing to submit myself to Christ by fully following His teachings. What I had done was effectively picked out what parts fit best for me, and conveniently forgot the rest. I thank God that the Holy Spirit convicted me of this!

 

So then, with the addition of these two principles, our list of principles for the godly husband is as follows:


  1.  The godly husband must leave his priority relationship with his parents. (Genesis 2:24)
  2.  The godly husband must continually cleave to his wife, and not ever allow himself to be separate in relationship from her.

       (Genesis 2:18, 24; Matthew 19:5-6)

  3.  The godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife. (Genesis 2:24)

  4.  The godly husband must love his wife just as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25-28, 33; Colossians 3:19)

  5.  The godly husband must nourish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  6.  The godly husband must cherish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  7.  The godly husband must recognize his God-declared need for the help of his wife. (Genesis 2:18)

  8.  The godly husband must ever appreciate his wife as a good gift and precious treasure of the Lord's gracious favor.

       (Proverbs 18:22)

  9.  The godly husband must actively pursue a companionship with his wife as his dearest human friend. (Malachi 2:14)

10.  The godly husband must openly communicate with his wife in a gracious manner that is good to the use of edifying.

       (Ephesians 4:29; etc.)

11.  The godly husband must dwell at harmony with his wife in accord with his knowledge of her. (1 Peter 3:7)

12.  The godly husband must put forth the effort and energy to know his own wife as an individual. (1 Peter 3:7)

13.  The godly husband must specifically give honor unto his wife, as unto a precious treasure. (1 Peter 3:7)

14.  The godly husband must shoulder the burden of leadership responsibility, especially concerning spiritual matters.      

       (Ephesians 5:22; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Joshua 24:15)

15.  The godly husband must remember that he is responsible and accountable to his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ.

       (1 Corinthians 11:3; Malachi 2:13-16; 1 Peter 3:7)

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This posting presents a scattering of thoughts concerning various of the past posts, thoughts that did not quite fit into my organizational pattern of posting.

 

In post #2, John81 said:

Christ loved us so much He gave all of Himself for us in order to benefit us. Christ did this in a spirit of humility and kindness; not in a manner of a martyr or someone looking to show off their sacrifice to reap rewards. Christ willingly gave of his time, wisdom, talents and life for our sakes, and all this without complaining or saying, "Hey, look at Me, I'm really giving up a lot for you so you should show me some appreciation!"


How sad when a husband seems to be doing something loving for his wife only to ruin it by rubbing her nose in it, pointing out how much he gave up his golf game that he really wanted to play and missed seeing his friends he really wanted to see, and tells his wife how much she should appreciate he ruined his day for her and she should show some appreciation (he wants rewarded so he feels like he got something out of the deal).

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 -- "Charity [godly love in our behavior toward others] suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil."

 

 

In post #2, John81 said:

Some men say they would be willing to die for their wives and say this shows they love their wives as Christ loved the church. Yet these same men wouldn't wash the dishes for their wives. We are to love our wives in all things, not just the big "I'd die for you" one, but in the little things, the daily things too.

 

Indeed, genuine godly love toward our wives, not only means that we are willing to die physcially for our wive's protection, but also that we are willing to die daily unto our selfishness for our wive's benefit.  The real question of love is not -- Am I willing to die for my wife?  Rather, the real question of love is -- Am I willing to die to myself in order to serve my wife?

 

 

In post #8, 1Tim115 said:

What words do we share with our wives, men? I know I don't tell my wife that I love her, enough. I don't praise her enough for the things she does routinely out of love for me, family, and others. Sometimes we men forget to use that tongue to praise our wives, hoping it will be understood. Our wives need kind and gentle words of praise just as much as they need that "peck on the cheek" we give and think we've just been intimate with her. So, what was the last praising words or words of affection you shared with your wife?

 

Colossians 3:14-15 -- "And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful."

 

Proverbs 31:28 -- "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."

 

 

In post #22, John81 said:

This is a challenge we all face. Our flesh is naturally selfish, the world teaches we have to look out for #1 (which they say is ourselves), and the devil continually tries to influence us to do anything that isn't in line with Scripture.


For myself, at different times over the years I've been married the Lord has saw fit to deal with me about some aspect at one point and latter another. While I might be thinking I'm not doing to bad, then comes the conviction of the Holy Ghost that I'm being selfish because when we go out to eat I try to make sure we end up at the place I want to go. Wow! I hadn't even thought of that before but then one day the Holy Ghost tossed that up and it hit me a good one.


I wish I could say I conquered that one and moved on, but even in this I still have to be on guard and make a conscious effort to give my wife consideration and not find myself trying to make sure my choice is where we go.


Sure, to some this seems like a little thing . . .

 

Selfishness is the foundational essence of our sinful flesh, and selfishness is the direct opposite of godly love.  Thus selfishness is the foundational reason for conflict in our marriage relationships.  As such, selfishness, in any form, is never a "little thing."  Rather, selfishness is an unrighteous, wicked, evil sin against the Lord our God and against others.  Indeed, we need to stop excusing or trivializing our selfishness.  Instead, we need to start confessing it with broken-hearted repentance.

 

 

In post #23, John81 said:

Years ago I decided it was necessary to realize my wife and I aren't the same! Some things I might thing is funny, playing, no big deal or whatever, she sees totally differently. Through much prayer and submitting to the Lord, I have endeavored to try not to "push her buttons", even on accident.

 

1 Peter 3:7 -- "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

 

 

In post #23, John81 said:

Scripture is so right that taming the tongue is of utmost importance and so very difficult to do. I still catch myself on occasion having spoken one sentence to many, saying something when saying nothing would have been better, or using the wrong word or tone. Thankfully, I tend to notice when this happens and am quick to pray for forgiveness and make correction with my wife.

 

James 3:6-8 -- "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.  For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: but the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." 

 

In our own ability, our tongue is completely impossible to tame.  Thus we must submit ourselves to walk under the filling influence of God the Holy Spirit.  Only the almighty power of the indwelling Holy Spirit can tame our unruly tongue.  In fact, it is only through the filling influence of the indwelling Holy Spirit that we can overcome our selfish, sinful flesh and that we can truly love our wives with godly love.  Galatians 5:16 -- "This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh."  Galatians 5:22 -- "But the fruit of the Spirit is love . . ."

 

 

In post #32, musician4god1611 said:

Amen! If we are going to love our wives as Christ loved the church then we have to do what he did, become a servant. We don't need to remind our wives that we are the king of our home, if they love us (and mine wouldn't put up with me if she didn't love me) then they know that. We need to show our wives that we love them enough to humble ourselves and become a servant. My mother always told us that love doesn't say "what can you do for me" but rather "what can I do for you?".

 

Galatians 5:13 -- "For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another."

 

 

In post 33, 1Tim115 said:

Are we praying for God's favor (blessing) in some aspect of our lives? Are we at odds with our "good thing" (wife)? Is it possible God's "favour" is "hindered;" the result of a lack of "honour" overdue or even missing from our relationship with our "help meet."

 

1 Peter 3:7 -- "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

 

Malachi 2:13-16 -- "And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.  Yet ye say, Wherefore?  Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.  And did not he make one?  Yet had he the residue of the spirit.  And wherefore one?  That he might seek a godly seed.  Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously."

Edited by Pastor Scott Markle

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Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 

Genesis 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

 

Does this mean a “helpmeet” as we sometimes like to say, as if these two words were to go together?


OR

Does it mean “an help” who is “meet for him.”
 

That is a “helper” who is “proper or appropriate for him or for the task of helping him?”

 

I wonder if God provided Eve so that Adam would not become over whelmed by the task God gave him. If true, it might give we men a different outlook on just how important our wife is and another early look at God's love and compassion for all mankind.

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Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 

Genesis 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

 

Does this mean a “helpmeet” as we sometimes like to say, as if these two words were to go together?


OR

Does it mean “an help” who is “meet for him.”
 

That is a “helper” who is “proper or appropriate for him or for the task of helping him?”

 

I wonder if God provided Eve so that Adam would not become over whelmed by the task God gave him. If true, it might give we men a different outlook on just how important our wife is and another early look at God's love and compassion for all mankind.

Help who is meet (suitable, fitting)

"meet" is the adjective, "help" is the noun

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Genesis 16 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.

2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.

 

I agree with most of what I've read, so far. Much has been said about responsiblity. Sometimes the husband is confronted with the unpleasat task of having to say "no" for a good reason but the wife isn't happy about that, what then?  What would have happened if Abraham had said "no"?

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