Jump to content
  • Welcome Guest

    For an ad free experience on Online Baptist, Please login or register for free

Bible Study, Anyone? On Being A Godly Husband


Recommended Posts

  • Members

A godly husband needs to fulfil his God ordained position as the head of his wife.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

I think many husbands neglect or ignore their position as head and the woman ends up taking over because someone has to do it, of course this is opposing God's will, it is the way of the world.

 

Amen, Brother "Soj."

 

The godly husband does indeed need to fulfill his God-ordained role of headship in his relationship with his wife.  Yet the husband needs to understand that according to the standard of God's Word, headship is not to be defined primarily as a position of selfish privilege, but as a position of service responsibility.  Indeed, there is a great burden of responsibility in Biblical headship; and the godly husband must faithfully and fervently shoulder this burden.  He must not neglect this burden of responsibility or leave it for his wife to carry. 

 

Now, this burden of headship responsibility can be seen in three significant categories of leadership.  First, there is the reponsibility to build a healthy, one-flesh marriage relationship.  Thus the godly husband will take the lead in putting forth the effort to develope and maintain such a relationship with his wife.  Even so, in the foundational principles for a good marriage as delivered by the Lord our God in Genesis 2:24, the first two principles are delivered specifically to the husband; then the third is delivered to both the husband and the wife.  "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."  Second, there is the responsibility to pursue the service of the Lord.  Thus the godly husband will take the lead in setting a spiritual example of love for and service to the Lord our God.  Even so, in the closing portion of Joshua 24:15, the man of God Joshua declared, "But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."  Third, there is the responsibility to train up the children in the way of righteousness.  Thus the godly husband will take the lead in training and disciplining the children according to God's Word of truth.  Even so, Ephesians 6:4 delivers the instruction specifically to the fathers, saying, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

 

To summarize all of this, I would present the principle that the godly husband must shoulder the burden of leadership responsibility, especially concerning spiritual matters.

 

Yet there is another principle to be considered from 1 Corinthians 11:3 -- "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."  Herein we learn that "the head of the woman [the wife] is the man [her husband]."  Yet herein we also learn "that the head of every man is Christ."  Thus we must understand that the husband's headship authority is delegated authority, directly from his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ Himself.  Thus we must also understand that the husband is fully accountable unto his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ, for the manner in which he fulfills his headship responsibility in relation to his wife. 

 

Indeed, in Malachi 2:13-16 the Lord our God very severely rebuked the husbands of Israel for dealing treacherousnly against their wives, indicating that He is ever watching and is ever bearing witness.  "And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.  Yet ye say, Wherefore?  Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.  And did not he make one?  Yet had he the residue of the spirit.  And wherefore one?  That he might seek a godly seed.  Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously."  In like manner, the closing portion of 1 Peter 3:7 delivers the warning unto husbands concerning their right relationship with their wives, saying, "That your prayers be not hindered."

 

To summarize all of this, I would present the principle that the godly husband must remember that he is responsible and accountable to his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

Indeed, this is the very lesson from the Lord that Brother "Fixation" presented in post #30 --

The thought that I had was this: I had a submission issue as well. I was demanding that my wife submit to me, but I was refusing to submit myself to Christ by fully following His teachings. What I had done was effectively picked out what parts fit best for me, and conveniently forgot the rest. I thank God that the Holy Spirit convicted me of this!

 

So then, with the addition of these two principles, our list of principles for the godly husband is as follows:


  1.  The godly husband must leave his priority relationship with his parents. (Genesis 2:24)
  2.  The godly husband must continually cleave to his wife, and not ever allow himself to be separate in relationship from her.

       (Genesis 2:18, 24; Matthew 19:5-6)

  3.  The godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife. (Genesis 2:24)

  4.  The godly husband must love his wife just as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25-28, 33; Colossians 3:19)

  5.  The godly husband must nourish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  6.  The godly husband must cherish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  7.  The godly husband must recognize his God-declared need for the help of his wife. (Genesis 2:18)

  8.  The godly husband must ever appreciate his wife as a good gift and precious treasure of the Lord's gracious favor.

       (Proverbs 18:22)

  9.  The godly husband must actively pursue a companionship with his wife as his dearest human friend. (Malachi 2:14)

10.  The godly husband must openly communicate with his wife in a gracious manner that is good to the use of edifying.

       (Ephesians 4:29; etc.)

11.  The godly husband must dwell at harmony with his wife in accord with his knowledge of her. (1 Peter 3:7)

12.  The godly husband must put forth the effort and energy to know his own wife as an individual. (1 Peter 3:7)

13.  The godly husband must specifically give honor unto his wife, as unto a precious treasure. (1 Peter 3:7)

14.  The godly husband must shoulder the burden of leadership responsibility, especially concerning spiritual matters.      

       (Ephesians 5:22; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Joshua 24:15)

15.  The godly husband must remember that he is responsible and accountable to his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ.

       (1 Corinthians 11:3; Malachi 2:13-16; 1 Peter 3:7)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

This posting presents a scattering of thoughts concerning various of the past posts, thoughts that did not quite fit into my organizational pattern of posting.

 

In post #2, John81 said:

Christ loved us so much He gave all of Himself for us in order to benefit us. Christ did this in a spirit of humility and kindness; not in a manner of a martyr or someone looking to show off their sacrifice to reap rewards. Christ willingly gave of his time, wisdom, talents and life for our sakes, and all this without complaining or saying, "Hey, look at Me, I'm really giving up a lot for you so you should show me some appreciation!"


How sad when a husband seems to be doing something loving for his wife only to ruin it by rubbing her nose in it, pointing out how much he gave up his golf game that he really wanted to play and missed seeing his friends he really wanted to see, and tells his wife how much she should appreciate he ruined his day for her and she should show some appreciation (he wants rewarded so he feels like he got something out of the deal).

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 -- "Charity [godly love in our behavior toward others] suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil."

 

 

In post #2, John81 said:

Some men say they would be willing to die for their wives and say this shows they love their wives as Christ loved the church. Yet these same men wouldn't wash the dishes for their wives. We are to love our wives in all things, not just the big "I'd die for you" one, but in the little things, the daily things too.

 

Indeed, genuine godly love toward our wives, not only means that we are willing to die physcially for our wive's protection, but also that we are willing to die daily unto our selfishness for our wive's benefit.  The real question of love is not -- Am I willing to die for my wife?  Rather, the real question of love is -- Am I willing to die to myself in order to serve my wife?

 

 

In post #8, 1Tim115 said:

What words do we share with our wives, men? I know I don't tell my wife that I love her, enough. I don't praise her enough for the things she does routinely out of love for me, family, and others. Sometimes we men forget to use that tongue to praise our wives, hoping it will be understood. Our wives need kind and gentle words of praise just as much as they need that "peck on the cheek" we give and think we've just been intimate with her. So, what was the last praising words or words of affection you shared with your wife?

 

Colossians 3:14-15 -- "And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful."

 

Proverbs 31:28 -- "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."

 

 

In post #22, John81 said:

This is a challenge we all face. Our flesh is naturally selfish, the world teaches we have to look out for #1 (which they say is ourselves), and the devil continually tries to influence us to do anything that isn't in line with Scripture.


For myself, at different times over the years I've been married the Lord has saw fit to deal with me about some aspect at one point and latter another. While I might be thinking I'm not doing to bad, then comes the conviction of the Holy Ghost that I'm being selfish because when we go out to eat I try to make sure we end up at the place I want to go. Wow! I hadn't even thought of that before but then one day the Holy Ghost tossed that up and it hit me a good one.


I wish I could say I conquered that one and moved on, but even in this I still have to be on guard and make a conscious effort to give my wife consideration and not find myself trying to make sure my choice is where we go.


Sure, to some this seems like a little thing . . .

 

Selfishness is the foundational essence of our sinful flesh, and selfishness is the direct opposite of godly love.  Thus selfishness is the foundational reason for conflict in our marriage relationships.  As such, selfishness, in any form, is never a "little thing."  Rather, selfishness is an unrighteous, wicked, evil sin against the Lord our God and against others.  Indeed, we need to stop excusing or trivializing our selfishness.  Instead, we need to start confessing it with broken-hearted repentance.

 

 

In post #23, John81 said:

Years ago I decided it was necessary to realize my wife and I aren't the same! Some things I might thing is funny, playing, no big deal or whatever, she sees totally differently. Through much prayer and submitting to the Lord, I have endeavored to try not to "push her buttons", even on accident.

 

1 Peter 3:7 -- "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

 

 

In post #23, John81 said:

Scripture is so right that taming the tongue is of utmost importance and so very difficult to do. I still catch myself on occasion having spoken one sentence to many, saying something when saying nothing would have been better, or using the wrong word or tone. Thankfully, I tend to notice when this happens and am quick to pray for forgiveness and make correction with my wife.

 

James 3:6-8 -- "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.  For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: but the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." 

 

In our own ability, our tongue is completely impossible to tame.  Thus we must submit ourselves to walk under the filling influence of God the Holy Spirit.  Only the almighty power of the indwelling Holy Spirit can tame our unruly tongue.  In fact, it is only through the filling influence of the indwelling Holy Spirit that we can overcome our selfish, sinful flesh and that we can truly love our wives with godly love.  Galatians 5:16 -- "This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh."  Galatians 5:22 -- "But the fruit of the Spirit is love . . ."

 

 

In post #32, musician4god1611 said:

Amen! If we are going to love our wives as Christ loved the church then we have to do what he did, become a servant. We don't need to remind our wives that we are the king of our home, if they love us (and mine wouldn't put up with me if she didn't love me) then they know that. We need to show our wives that we love them enough to humble ourselves and become a servant. My mother always told us that love doesn't say "what can you do for me" but rather "what can I do for you?".

 

Galatians 5:13 -- "For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another."

 

 

In post 33, 1Tim115 said:

Are we praying for God's favor (blessing) in some aspect of our lives? Are we at odds with our "good thing" (wife)? Is it possible God's "favour" is "hindered;" the result of a lack of "honour" overdue or even missing from our relationship with our "help meet."

 

1 Peter 3:7 -- "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

 

Malachi 2:13-16 -- "And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.  Yet ye say, Wherefore?  Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.  And did not he make one?  Yet had he the residue of the spirit.  And wherefore one?  That he might seek a godly seed.  Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously."

Edited by Pastor Scott Markle
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 

Genesis 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

 

Does this mean a “helpmeet” as we sometimes like to say, as if these two words were to go together?


OR

Does it mean “an help” who is “meet for him.”
 

That is a “helper” who is “proper or appropriate for him or for the task of helping him?”

 

I wonder if God provided Eve so that Adam would not become over whelmed by the task God gave him. If true, it might give we men a different outlook on just how important our wife is and another early look at God's love and compassion for all mankind.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 

Genesis 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

 

Does this mean a “helpmeet” as we sometimes like to say, as if these two words were to go together?


OR

Does it mean “an help” who is “meet for him.”
 

That is a “helper” who is “proper or appropriate for him or for the task of helping him?”

 

I wonder if God provided Eve so that Adam would not become over whelmed by the task God gave him. If true, it might give we men a different outlook on just how important our wife is and another early look at God's love and compassion for all mankind.

Help who is meet (suitable, fitting)

"meet" is the adjective, "help" is the noun

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Genesis 16 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.

2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.

 

I agree with most of what I've read, so far. Much has been said about responsiblity. Sometimes the husband is confronted with the unpleasat task of having to say "no" for a good reason but the wife isn't happy about that, what then?  What would have happened if Abraham had said "no"?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Genesis 16 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.

2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.

 

I agree with most of what I've read, so far. Much has been said about responsiblity. Sometimes the husband is confronted with the unpleasat task of having to say "no" for a good reason but the wife isn't happy about that, what then?  What would have happened if Abraham had said "no"?

Yes, part of headship is having to make the right call even when it's unpleasant, even if the wife is unhappy.

 

In my own marriage I've noticed that no matter how bad it seems at the time, it's not as bad as it seems and my wife quickly moves on from the matter.

 

I've also noticed the longer we are married the more we are in complete agreement or near complete agreement when it comes to most all things, especially the more important things.

 

There has actually only been a few times when I had to stand firm and say "no" to my wife over an issue. The vast majority of the time we have talked matters out and come into agreement.

 

With regards to Abraham, no doubt what he did was sin. Had Abraham said "no" to his wife's scheme, and spoke with her of having faith in God, talking about the faithfulness of God in their lives, the faith of both likely would have been built up.

 

God doesn't promise it will always be easy to lead our homes, to say "no" when we should, but God does promise following Him is always right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 

Genesis 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

 

Does this mean a “helpmeet” as we sometimes like to say, as if these two words were to go together?


OR

Does it mean “an help” who is “meet for him.”
 

That is a “helper” who is “proper or appropriate for him or for the task of helping him?”

 

I wonder if God provided Eve so that Adam would not become over whelmed by the task God gave him. If true, it might give we men a different outlook on just how important our wife is and another early look at God's love and compassion for all mankind.

 

Brother Dave,

 

As Brother "Heartstrings" indicated in post #49 --

Help who is meet (suitable, fitting)

"meet" is the adjective, "help" is the noun


It means -- "an help" who is "meet for him," that is -- a “helper” who is “proper or appropriate for him or for the task of helping him?”  Grammatically, the word "help" is a noun, meaning "that which helps, a helper."  The word "meet" is an adjective that modifies that noun -- a meet helper; a helper who is meet (complementary, suitable, proper, fitting).  The prepositional phrase "for him" is an adverbial phrase that modifies the adjective "meet," indicating that the wife is not comlementary, suitable, proper, fitting in general, but is complementary, suitable, proper, fitting specifically for her husband.

 

Indeed, this is God's own definition for the wife.  In the historical record of God's Word, this was the very first statement that the Lord our God delivered concerning the wife, before He employed any other title for her or any other description of her.  By divine definition the wife is -- "A helper who is meet for her husband."  This then is God's own purpose for the wife -- that she be a helper to her husband who is perfectly complementary in helping him fulfill his God-given responsibilities.  The Lord our God had already given the first man Adam the responsibility to dress and to keep the Garden of Eden, even before He created the wife for the man. (See Genesis 2:15)  Then the Lord God created "an help meet for him" in order to help him fulfill this God-given responsibility.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Brother Dave,

 

As Brother "Heartstrings" indicated in post #49 --


It means -- "an help" who is "meet for him," that is -- a “helper” who is “proper or appropriate for him or for the task of helping him?”  Grammatically, the word "help" is a noun, meaning "that which helps, a helper."  The word "meet" is an adjective that modifies that noun -- a meet helper; a helper who is meet (complementary, suitable, proper, fitting).  The prepositional phrase "for him" is an adverbial phrase that modifies the adjective "meet," indicating that the wife is not comlementary, suitable, proper, fitting in general, but is complementary, suitable, proper, fitting specifically for her husband.

 

Indeed, this is God's own definition for the wife.  In the historical record of God's Word, this was the very first statement that the Lord our God delivered concerning the wife, before He employed any other title for her or any other description of her.  By divine definition the wife is -- "A helper who is meet for her husband."  This then is God's own purpose for the wife -- that she be a helper to her husband who is perfectly complementary in helping him fulfill his God-given responsibilities.  The Lord our God had already given the first man Adam the responsibility to dress and to keep the Garden of Eden, even before He created the wife for the man. (See Genesis 2:15)  Then the Lord God created "an help meet for him" in order to help him fulfill this God-given responsibility.

Thanks,

That is what I was  thinking.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Genesis 16 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.

2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.

 

I agree with most of what I've read, so far. Much has been said about responsiblity. Sometimes the husband is confronted with the unpleasat task of having to say "no" for a good reason but the wife isn't happy about that, what then?  What would have happened if Abraham had said "no"?

 

Brother "Heartstrings,"

 

I myself am one of those who has placed a great deal of emphasis upon the responibility of leadership.  I ask that you not misunderstand my intent in so doing.  I do not intend to communicate a focus on leadership responsibility in contrast to a focus on leadership authority.  In fact, I would contend that leadership authority by Biblical definition requires leadership responsibility; and that leadership responsibility without the leadership authority to fulfill it is almost impossible.  Rather, I intend to communicate a focus on leadership responsibility in contrast to a focus on leadership privilege.  I do this on the ground of our Lord's principle concerning godly leadership in Matthew 20:25-28 -- "But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them.  But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; and whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."

 

So then, are there times when a godly husband must say "no" to his wife, denying her something that she desires?  Yes.  Indeed, the husband has the leadership responsibility to deny a desire of his wife when it is contrary to the standard of God's Word; and he even has the leadership responsibility to reprove his wife of characteristics or conduct that are contrary to the standard of God's Word.  Would such be a very, very difficult and unpleasant task?  Certainly!  Yet the faulty view that a husband should yield to any desire of his wife because "a happy wife makes a happy life" must be cast aside, and the Biblical view that a husband should administer his God-given responsibility to lead for the sake of his wife's righteous character because truly "a pleased Lord God makes a righteous life" must be held firmly.  However, this leadership responsibility of denial or repoof must be administered on the ground of spiritual principle, not on the ground of selfish purpose.

 

Yes, how much better would it have been if Abraham had said "no" to Sarah concerning Hagar?  Even more so, how much better would it have been if Adam had said "no" to Eve concerning the forbidden fruit?  He certainly should have.  Even so, the Lord God directly rebuked him for not having done so -- "And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife . . ." (Genesis 3:17)

Edited by Pastor Scott Markle
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

The following post is a sort of corrective to myself:

 

On Saturday, February 23, 2013, in post #47 I presented a scattering of thoughts concerning various past posts.  Involved in that scattering of thoughts, I quoted Colossians 3:14-15 and Proverbs 31:28 in relation to Brother Dave's ("1Tim115") post #8, wherein he mentioned the need for the godly husband to speak words of praise and appreciation to his wife.  Furthermore, in post #16 Brother John ("John81") responded to Brother Dave's post #8 by indicating the need for the godly husband to give thanks unto his wife (and to teach his children to give thanks unto her also).  Concerning this need of the godly husband to praise, express appreciation, and give thanks to his wife, I had been viewing it as being encompassed under the listed principle that the godly husband must ever appreciate his wife as a good gift and precious treasure of the Lord's gracious favor. (Proverbs 18:22)  However, on Sunday morning the Holy Spirit burdened my heart with the need to present this truth as a separate principle, placing the emphasis on the need, not only for the godly husband to appreciate his wife in his heart, but also for the godly husband actually to express that appreciation unto his wife for her efforts of diligence.

 

Proverbs 31:28 -- "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."

 

The Godly husband must regularly express praise, appreciation, and thanks to his wife for her efforts of diligence.

 

 

With this added principle, our list of principles for the godly husband is as follows:


  1.  The godly husband must leave his priority relationship with his parents. (Genesis 2:24)
  2.  The godly husband must continually cleave to his wife, and not ever allow himself to be separate in relationship from her.

       (Genesis 2:18, 24; Matthew 19:5-6)

  3.  The godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife. (Genesis 2:24)

  4.  The godly husband must love his wife just as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25-28, 33; Colossians 3:19)

  5.  The godly husband must nourish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  6.  The godly husband must cherish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  7.  The godly husband must recognize his God-declared need for the help of his wife. (Genesis 2:18)

  8.  The godly husband must ever appreciate his wife as a good gift and precious treasure of the Lord's gracious favor.

       (Proverbs 18:22)

  9.  The godly husband must regularly express praise, appreciation, and thanks to his wife for her efforts of diligence.

       (Proverbs 31:28) 

10.  The godly husband must actively pursue a companionship with his wife as his dearest human friend. (Malachi 2:14)

11.  The godly husband must openly communicate with his wife in a gracious manner that is good to the use of edifying.

       (Ephesians 4:29; etc.)

12.  The godly husband must dwell at harmony with his wife in accord with his knowledge of her. (1 Peter 3:7)

13.  The godly husband must put forth the effort and energy to know his own wife as an individual. (1 Peter 3:7)

14.  The godly husband must specifically give honor unto his wife, as unto a precious treasure. (1 Peter 3:7)

15.  The godly husband must shoulder the burden of leadership responsibility, especially concerning spiritual matters.      

       (Ephesians 5:22; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Joshua 24:15)

16.  The godly husband must remember that he is responsible and accountable to his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ.

       (1 Corinthians 11:3; Malachi 2:13-16; 1 Peter 3:7)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

In 1Tim115 said:

The triangle is something like the attached jpg. There is a lot more that can be said about it but this is all I can remember from when it was presented to me.

Attached Thumbnails
  • post-23234-0-31240200-1360985243_thumb.j

 

 

In DaveW said:

A few thoughts - husbands and wives MUST both be committed to serving God in their marriage. It is a partnership and union.
For it to be at it's best, both husband and wife must be committed to the Lord and each other - God's way.

 

 

In John81 said:

Wonderful biblical truth! There is no better marriage than one where both husband and wife are truly committed to the Lord and obeying His Word.

 

 

In DaveW said:

Considering Gen 3, I would like to submit that the cause of the original breakdown of relationship was the form of Adam's sin - that he put his love for his wife above his love for God.
A good husband will therefore, first and foremost be one who puts the Lord above his wife, but according to the many other posts and points, None and nothing other than the Lord above his wife.

 

 

In 1Tim115 said:

Wow! I can't believe we overlooked this most important of all principles. Thanks Dave. 

 

Also, scripture and the triangle thing agree with your thought.

 

Luke 18
28 Then Peter said, Lo, we have left all, and followed thee.
29 And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake,
30 Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting.
 
Note: This in no way authorizes a man to turn and run from the responsibilities to the family God gave him. It means to have God first (Peter still had a wife he cared for).

 

Through all of these above statements, we find the Biblical principle that the godly husband must always maintain his personal walk with the Lord as his highest priority, recognizing that such will only help him to be a better husband toward his wife

 

Even so, in Luke 14:26-27 our Lord Jesus Christ declared, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.  And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple."  Now, this is a matter of comparison.  It is not that we are to hate our wives, for the Lord our God Himself in His Holy Word has commanded us to love our wives.  Rather, it is that our love for Christ should be a greater priority than our love for our wives.  Yet if our love for Christ is the greatest priority of our lives, even over our love for our wives, it will only enhance our spiritual ability to love our wives as we are commanded.  Indeed, this is the reason that the instruction of Ephesians 5:18 is presented as the spiritual foundation upon which we are then instructed to love our wives in Ephesians 5:25-33 -- "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit."  Indeed, this is also the reason that the instruction of Colossians 3:16 is presented as the spiritual foundation upon which we are then instructed to love our wives in Colossians 3:19 -- "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord."

 

 

So then, with this added principle, our list of principles for the godly husband is as follows:


  1.  The godly husband must always maintain his personal walk with the Lord as his highest priority, recognizing that such

       will only help him to be a better husband toward his wife. (Luke 14:26-27; Ephesians 5:18; Colossians 3:16)

  2.  The godly husband must leave his priority relationship with his parents. (Genesis 2:24)
  3.  The godly husband must continually cleave to his wife, and not ever allow himself to be separate in relationship from her.

       (Genesis 2:18, 24; Matthew 19:5-6)

  4.  The godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife. (Genesis 2:24)

  5.  The godly husband must love his wife just as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25-28, 33; Colossians 3:19)

  6.  The godly husband must nourish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  7.  The godly husband must cherish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  8.  The godly husband must recognize his God-declared need for the help of his wife. (Genesis 2:18)

  9.  The godly husband must ever appreciate his wife as a good gift and precious treasure of the Lord's gracious favor.

       (Proverbs 18:22)

10.  The godly husband must regularly express praise, appreciation, and thanks to his wife for her efforts of diligence.

       (Proverbs 31:28) 

11.  The godly husband must actively pursue a companionship with his wife as his dearest human friend. (Malachi 2:14)

12.  The godly husband must openly communicate with his wife in a gracious manner that is good to the use of edifying.

       (Ephesians 4:29; etc.)

13.  The godly husband must dwell at harmony with his wife in accord with his knowledge of her. (1 Peter 3:7)

14.  The godly husband must put forth the effort and energy to know his own wife as an individual. (1 Peter 3:7)

15.  The godly husband must specifically give honor unto his wife, as unto a precious treasure. (1 Peter 3:7)

16.  The godly husband must shoulder the burden of leadership responsibility, especially concerning spiritual matters.      

       (Ephesians 5:22; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Joshua 24:15)

17.  The godly husband must remember that he is responsible and accountable to his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ.

       (1 Corinthians 11:3; Malachi 2:13-16; 1 Peter 3:7)

Edited by Pastor Scott Markle
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I have enjoyed the contributions, and I particularly like the updates summaries you have been doing.

I intend to take the summary and format it as a "discussion paper" for our men's meeting, so that the learning can be used to lead our discussions in a solid direction.

Thanks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

In musician4god1611 said:

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 " Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."

This is not advice, this is a command.

 

 

Also Soj (Matthew) said:

I think the following point is very important and is a key ingredient to a healthy marriage, it comes under Bro. Scott's principle #3 The godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife.

The godly husband must make love to his wife, and must not restrict himself from her.

1 Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. [3] Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. [4] The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. [5] Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
 

 

Although Brother Matthew ("Soj") classified this point under my principle that the godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife, I myself wish to present this matter as a separate principle.  I wish to do this because God's Word presents this matter as a specific command from the Lord our God.  (Note: In my book, "God's Wisdom for Marriage & The Home," I include an entire chapter concerning this matter, entitled "Render Due Benevolence.")

 

The godly husband must render the "due benevolence" of sexual pleasure unto his wife.

 

Concerning the matter of the physical, sexual relationship, Hebrews 13:4 clearly indicates that the Lord our God opposes and judges any engagement in sexual relations outside the boundary of the marriage relationship.  "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."  On the other hand, this verse also indicates that a healthy bedroom (sexual) relationship in the boundary of marriage between the husband and wife is not spiritually defiled in our Lord's sight.  In fact, in Hebrews 13:4 God's Holy Word indicates that such a healthy bedroom (sexual) relationship between the husband and wife is actually honorable in the sight of the Lord our God.  Even so, the opening line of Hebrews 13:4 declares, "Marriage is honourable in all."  Yet God's Word does leave us to wonder if the bedroom (sexual) relationship is included in the "all" of marriage that is viewed as honorable.  In fact, the one element in the "all" of marriage that Hebrews 13:4 then specificies is the bedroom (sexual) relationship, saying "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled."  Indeed, a healthy bedroom (sexual) relationship between a husband and wife is worthy of honor from the Lord our God Himself.

 

Even so, the Lord our God actually commands the husband and wife to engage regularly in a healthy sexual relationship with one another.  As both quotes above indicated, in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 God's Holy Word declares, "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."  The context of this passage clearly reveals that it is speaking concerning the physcial, sexual relationship between the husband and wife.  As such, 1 Corinthians 7:3 refers to that physical, sexual relationship between the husband and wife with the phrase "due benevolence." 

 

First then, the godly husband is to engage in the sexual relationship with his wife as an act of benevolence unto her, yea as a gift of kindness unto her.  This means that the godly husband is to engage in the sexual relationship with his wife in a manner that administers pleasure unto his wife.  Furthermore, the godly husband is to recognize that administering such sexual benevolence, kindness, pleasure unto his wife is his God-given duty.  It is a "due benevolence."  It is a pleasure that is due unto the wife, and it is the husband's God-given duty to grant it.  Even so, if the husband neglects to administer this sexual benevolence, kindness, pleasure unto his wife, he is actually defrauding (cheating) her out of that which is her God-appointed due.  Finally, the godly husband is to concentrate in the physical, sexual relationship with his wife on rendering (paying over) this due of sexual benevolence, kindness, pleasure unto his wife.  In his sexual relationship with his wife, the godly husband should not simply be focused upon having sexual pleasure with his wife.  Certainly, he should not be focused upon taking sexual pleasure for himself.  Rather, the godly husband should be focused upon rendering sexual pleasure unto his wife.

 

Now, since the Lord our God in His Holy Word commands this administration of sexual pleasure unto one's wife, and since the Lord our God in His Holy Word reveals that a healthy sexual relationship between a husband and wife is worthy of HIs honor, we should recognize that a healthy sexual relationship between the husand and wife is actually a spiritually positive matter.

 

 

So then, with this added principle, our list of principles for the godly husband is as follows:


  1.  The godly husband must always maintain his personal walk with the Lord as his highest priority, recognizing that such

       will only help him to be a better husband toward his wife. (Luke 14:26-27; Ephesians 5:18; Colossians 3:16)

  2.  The godly husband must leave his priority relationship with his parents. (Genesis 2:24)
  3.  The godly husband must continually cleave to his wife, and not ever allow himself to be separate in relationship from her.

       (Genesis 2:18, 24; Matthew 19:5-6)

  4.  The godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife. (Genesis 2:24)

  5.  The godly husband must love his wife just as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25-28, 33; Colossians 3:19)

  6.  The godly husband must nourish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  7.  The godly husband must cherish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  8.  The godly husband must recognize his God-declared need for the help of his wife. (Genesis 2:18)

  9.  The godly husband must ever appreciate his wife as a good gift and precious treasure of the Lord's gracious favor.

       (Proverbs 18:22)

10.  The godly husband must regularly express praise, appreciation, and thanks to his wife for her efforts of diligence.

       (Proverbs 31:28) 

11.  The godly husband must actively pursue a companionship with his wife as his dearest human friend. (Malachi 2:14)

12.  The godly husband must openly communicate with his wife in a gracious manner that is good to the use of edifying.

       (Ephesians 4:29; etc.)

13.  The godly husband must dwell at harmony with his wife in accord with his knowledge of her. (1 Peter 3:7)

14.  The godly husband must put forth the effort and energy to know his own wife as an individual. (1 Peter 3:7)

15.  The godly husband must specifically give honor unto his wife, as unto a precious treasure. (1 Peter 3:7)

16.  The godly husband must shoulder the burden of leadership responsibility, especially concerning spiritual matters.      

       (Ephesians 5:22; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Joshua 24:15)

17.  The godly husband must remember that he is responsible and accountable to his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ.

       (1 Corinthians 11:3; Malachi 2:13-16; 1 Peter 3:7)

18. The godly husband must render the "due benevolence" of sexual pleasure unto his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

Edited by Pastor Scott Markle
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Members

The following principle for the godly husband is directly related to that of the previous post (post #58).

 

The godly husband must be sexually exclusive with his wife mentally, emotionally, and physically, being always satisfied with her body and always ravished with her love.

 

Proverbs 5:15-20 -- "Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.  Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.  Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee.  Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.  Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.  And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?"

 

 

So then, with this added principle, our list of principles for the godly husband is as follows:


  1.  The godly husband must always maintain his personal walk with the Lord as his highest priority, recognizing that such

       will only help him to be a better husband toward his wife. (Luke 14:26-27; Ephesians 5:18; Colossians 3:16)

  2.  The godly husband must leave his priority relationship with his parents. (Genesis 2:24)
  3.  The godly husband must continually cleave to his wife, and not ever allow himself to be separate in relationship from her.

       (Genesis 2:18, 24; Matthew 19:5-6)

  4.  The godly husband must continually pursue a one-flesh relationship with his wife. (Genesis 2:24)

  5.  The godly husband must love his wife just as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25-28, 33; Colossians 3:19)

  6.  The godly husband must nourish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  7.  The godly husband must cherish his wife as his own body, even as Christ nourishes the church. (Ephesians 5:28-30)

  8.  The godly husband must recognize his God-declared need for the help of his wife. (Genesis 2:18)

  9.  The godly husband must ever appreciate his wife as a good gift and precious treasure of the Lord's gracious favor.

       (Proverbs 18:22)

10.  The godly husband must regularly express praise, appreciation, and thanks to his wife for her efforts of diligence.

       (Proverbs 31:28) 

11.  The godly husband must actively pursue a companionship with his wife as his dearest human friend. (Malachi 2:14)

12.  The godly husband must openly communicate with his wife in a gracious manner that is good to the use of edifying.

       (Ephesians 4:29; etc.)

13.  The godly husband must dwell at harmony with his wife in accord with his knowledge of her. (1 Peter 3:7)

14.  The godly husband must put forth the effort and energy to know his own wife as an individual. (1 Peter 3:7)

15.  The godly husband must specifically give honor unto his wife, as unto a precious treasure. (1 Peter 3:7)

16.  The godly husband must shoulder the burden of leadership responsibility, especially concerning spiritual matters.      

       (Ephesians 5:22; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Joshua 24:15)

17.  The godly husband must remember that he is responsible and accountable to his Head, the Lord Jesus Christ.

       (1 Corinthians 11:3; Malachi 2:13-16; 1 Peter 3:7)

18. The godly husband must render the "due benevolence" of sexual pleasure unto his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

19. The godly husband must be sexually exclusive with his wife mentally, emotionally, and physically, being always satisfied

      with her body and always ravished with her love. (Proverbs 5:15-20)

Edited by Pastor Scott Markle
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

These are the new responsibilities from God to men and women after they sinned.

 

Geneses 3:16-19

 

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

 

She will have many more children.

 

She must follow but he must now lead!

 

 

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

 

Now he must work hard and provide for the family.

 

20 There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise;

 

but a foolish man spendeth it up.

 

Many marriages suffer because of poor money management.

 

 

Haggia 1:5-6

5 Now therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts; Consider your ways.

6 Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none warm; and

 

he that earneth wages earneth wages to put it into a bag with holes.

 

 

God told Israel that they would put their money in a bag with holes because they

 

didn’t give God his due!

 

Money is often a cause for stress in marriages.

 

Husbands are you giving God his due or are you causing holes in your money bag?

 

 

When I was young I was selfish in my young marriage. My wife came from very

 

humble beginnings so she was content. It took a few years till I matured and

 

corrected my life style. Thank God my wife was a better person then I was then.

 

We have been married 43 years and she says I am a good husband so I learned over

 

the years. Hugs and kisses never go out of style. Complements for any good excuse

 

are a good idea. Remember men what you say thank you for, you will get more of!

 

Praise will bring repeat actions. That goes for children and grand children too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...