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JerryNumbers

? Remors

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Its getting so that most times anyone confesses doing something wrong, especially if its bad the 1st thing most people will say, “He or she has not shown no remorse.”
 
How do you determine if someone is showing remorse for doing wrong? 

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We can't always tell, but in cases where the person is arrogant, smug and controlling in their confession, that seems to indicate a lack of remorse for what they have done, and more of an attitude hating they got caught and have to try and explain themselves in order to make some gain.

 

Folks who are truly remorseful tend to show signs of repentance. They are truly sorry for what they did, not just sorry they got caught.

 

Most often we can pick up the signs of these things in their tone of voice, their facial expressions, the words they use, how open they are (or how very selective they are in what they say and don't say).

 

From the biblical perspective, unless they are truly repentant and accept the fact they have sinned, they are sinners, and they turn to Christ for salvation, no matter how sincere or insincere their confession is, they are yet lost sinners on the same broad path of destruction.

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I recall my father, you could never tell by his expressions his feeling. That is until late in life when mother had to be put in a nursing home when all she did was lay in bed drawn up in a fetal like position & was not aware of nothing around her, hollering out quite often. Them he would set by her bed crying. And if he was out anywhere & someone would ask him about mother he would start crying.

 

Its still impossible for us to know the heart of man or woman. But nowadays most of the time when someone apologizes for something the next thing you hear is, I refuse to forgive, there's been no remorse.

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I recall my father, you could never tell by his expressions his feeling. That is until late in life when mother had to be put in a nursing home when all she did was lay in bed drawn up in a fetal like position & was not aware of nothing around her, hollering out quite often. Them he would set by her bed crying. And if he was out anywhere & someone would ask him about mother he would start crying.

 

Its still impossible for us to know the heart of man or woman. But nowadays most of the time when someone apologizes for something the next thing you hear is, I refuse to forgive, there's been no remorse.

The last part of what you say is most disturbing because there are many Christians who say that, even though Scripture commands us to forgive all others just as we have been forgiven.

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By definition, the word "remorse" indicates a deep feeling of guilt and sorrow over some wrong doing.  Yet it must be understood that remorse, of itself, is not equivalent to Biblical repentance.  In 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 the apostle Paul, under the inspiration of God the Holy Spirit, specifically stated that there are two kinds of sorrow for sin (remorse) -- godly sorrow which works repentance and worldly sorrow which works death.

  

2 Corinthians 7:9-10 - Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.

 

It is also important to understand that we are not required to grant forgiveness based upon an individual's expression of remorse, but upon their expression of repentance.  Since some expressions of remorse (sorrow for sin) are actually worldly in nature and do not actually produce repentance, we are instructed to consider an individual’s expression of repentance, not their expression of remorse.  (This is the reason that parents are warned in Proverbs 19:18 not to "spare" (hold back) in disicipline simply for their child's crying.)

 

Luke 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

 

In fact, indicating that one is sorry for something is, by precise definition, only an expression of sorrow over the matter.  Certainly, this expression of sorrow may be the godly sorrow of Biblical repentance.  Yet it also may only be the worldly sorrow that does not include repentance.  In addition, it must be understood that it is not strictly the words that are employed which determine the matter.  Rather, it is the spirit in which these words are employed that determines the matter.  (Indeed, an individual can say the words, "I repent," and not be repentant in spirit at all.  Furthermore, an inidividual could say only the words, "I am sorry," and be truly repentance in spirit thereby.)

 

For example, twice Pharaoh said, "I have sinned." (See Exodus 9:27; 10:16)  Yet neither Moses or the Lord granted him forgiveness.  Why not?  It was not because both Mose and the Lord for unforgiving.  Rather, it was because Pharaoh's declaration was not that of a genuinely repentant heart (as the contextual account reveals).  Furthermore, Judas Iscariot also expressed significant remorse for his betrayal of the Lord. (See Matthew 27:3-5)  Yet he also did not receive forgiveness from the Lord.  Why not?  It was because his remorse was not that of a genuinely repentant heart before the Lord.

 

So then, what does genuine, Biblical repentance look like.  In 2 Corinthians 7:11 the apostle Paul described it in relation to the believers at Corinth.

 

2 Corinthians 7:11 - For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.

 

In particular, Biblical repentance (and godly remorse) over sin will be more focused upon the sins unrighteousness and offensiveness against the Lord and against others than upon the negative consequences that it has brought upon self.  Certainly, the negative elements of chastening and consequences may be the tool by which our Lord moves us and motivates us toward Biblical repentance.  Yet the broken and contrite heart of repentance will be brought to grief, not primarily because of its own suffering, but primarily because of the suffering that it has brought upon the Lord and others.

 

Psalm 51:1-4Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

 

In addition, Biblical repentance (and godly remorse) over sin will be more focused upon a restoration to the Lord's daily fellowship than upon a removal of the negative circumstantial consequences.  Certainly, the genuinely repentant heart may cry out for the Lord's grace to bring relief from these negative consequences.  Yet the broken and contrite heart of repentance will be primarily moved and motivated to be restored by the Lord's grace unto a walk of close fellowship with Him, even if the negative consequences are never removed.

 

Psalm 51:11-12 - Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

 

Third, Biblical repentance (and godly remorse) over sin will be more focused upon being transformed in character so as not to continue in sin than upon a removal of the negative consequences from the sin.  Indeed, the broken and contrite heart of repentance will be greatly moved and motivated to seek the Lord's gracious work of transformation upon its character and conduct, even if such might mean that the negative consequences must ever remain as an instructional tool of guidance and as a protective fence of guarding.  Yea, the broken and contrite heart of repentance will ever be more concerned with being taught and transformed than with personal comfort and convenience.

 

Psalm 51:9-10 -  Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

 

Finally, Biblical repentance (and godly remorse) over sin will possess a spirit of acceptance, rather than a spirit of complaint, concerning any chastening and consequences that may result from the sin.  Indeed, a broken and contrite heart of repentance will recognize that it is fully worthy and deserving of any chastening and consequence that the Lord brings forth because of the sin.  Yea, the broken and contrite heart of repentance will even recognize that whatever chastening and consequence the Lord might bring forth, it is actually less than the sin deserves.  Thus the broken and contrite heart of repentance will be moved and motivated to praise the Lord greatly for His abundant grace, rather than to complain selfishly against the negative consequences.

 

Psalm 51:4b - . . . That thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

 

Leviticus 26:40-41 If they shall confess their iniquity, and the iniquity of their fathers, with their trespass which they trespassed against me, and that also they have walked contrary unto me; And that I also have walked contrary unto them, and have brought them into the land of their enemies; if then their uncircumcised hearts be humbled, and they then accept of the punishment of their iniquity:

 

Ezra 9:13 And after all that is come upon us for our evil deeds, and for our great trespass, seeing that thou our God hast punished us less than our iniquities deserve, and hast given us such deliverance as this;

 

Psalm 103:10 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

 

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What is enjoyable is to have a conversation with the brethren, not preaching of a sermon.

 

There is a forum for sermons, I feel sure a sermons would be more welcomed over there. And I do not mean to offend anyone, its just when I post a topic I want to have conversations, thoughts, about the topic I post. If I want to read a sermon on any subject I will visit the sermon forum. 

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What is enjoyable is to have a conversation with the brethren, not preaching of a sermon.

 

There is a forum for sermons, I feel sure a sermons would be more welcomed over there. And I do not mean to offend anyone, its just when I post a topic I want to have conversations, thoughts, about the topic I post. If I want to read a sermon on any subject I will visit the sermon forum. 

 

 

What is the difference between a sermon and a conversation? Either way how is it not "thoughts" on the topic you post? If you simply object to the length then just skip over it. As long as a post is biblically sound and related to the topic it would hardly seem worthwhile to complain or discouraging someone from posting even if you did not care to read their post. :twocents:  

Edited by Seth-Doty

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Sometimes you just want to have a chat with friends.

Your description of your dad brought tears to my eyes - sometimes even an emotionally guarded person can't keep it all under control. He must have loved her very deeply.

Thanks for sharing that.

Edited by DaveW

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What is the difference between a sermon and a conversation? Either way how is it not "thoughts" on the topic you post? If you simply object to the length then just skip over it. As long as a post is biblically sound and related to the topic it would hardly seem worthwhile to complain or discouraging someone from posting even if you did not care to read their post. :twocents:  

 

Big difference, when I set down with friends to talk we have conversations, we don't preach to each other. That way everyone can have their say. And I liken this to setting down at the coffee shop table with friends.

 

Of course if you want start topics with sermons in them that is fine, I don't.

 

That's my 2 cents.

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Sometimes you just want to have a chat with friends.

Your description of your dad brought tears to my eyes - sometimes even an emotionally guarded person can't keep it all under control. He must have loved her very deeply.

Thanks for sharing that.

 

Right, a chat with friends! I call the people at onlinebaptist my friends. And if I did not consider them my friends I would not ask them questions such as I did under this topic. I value their opinions.

 

Yes, they got married when he came back from World War 2 having been wounded 2 times, & never spent a night separated from each other until the two nights she spend in the hospital before mother went into the nursing home. Plus that 1st night in the hospital was the 1st time she ever spent a night away from home.

 

Not many marriages are like that anymore!

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