Teaching Modesty

[Guest Guest]

I have 3 children ( 4year old, 3 year old and a 1 year old). My oldest is somewhat of a tomboy. Also it has just been in the past month that the Lord has convicted me of how I was dressing. I have always been a jean wearer so that is what she has always known. I now feel that the Lord has shown me what modesty looks like and how we should be dressing, which is long skirts and high collard shirts and dresses. She has not rebelled much at all. Thankfully she has a high respect for God and Jesus. So I have explained to her that the instructs us to wear dresses as women and we should obey the Lords word. She agrees on obey His word but she still wants to wear pants.

Have any of you dealt with this type of situation? How have you explained to your little ones why we wear what we wear?

Thank you to all that reply, please be as constructive and loving as you can while you reply. :wvlf"

[Anon]

I have not had to do this...plus, I have boys.

However thankfully your kids are still young and usually take what you tell them pretty well. If you are consistent and keep patiently explaining this to her while at the same time not allowing her to have her way, in a year or more she will be quite used to the new standard in the house and will understand it as well. Especially moreso when she gets saved.

[Annie]

I personally don't feel obligated to explain to my four year old all of the ins and outs of the biblical principles I'm teaching her. Her job is simple: it is to obey God by obeying her parents. Of course, we tell all of the kids, from the ten year old down to the two year old, that we are trying to obey the Bible in the best way we know how. My 10yo daughter and 8yo son have internalized many of the values and principles we've taught them since they were little. We explain so much more to them now than we could then, and they are able to receive it with teachable spirits since we "have their hearts." With the younger ones, we explain things on their level, but we don't expect them to understand our reasoning. Their job is to obey with a sweet spirit. We allow questions, but no "debate" at this age. We try to model joyful obedience, so that they don't look at the Christian life as just a bunch of burdensome rules and standards.

[IM4given]

My daughters like to run and tumble when they were small (preschool/kindergarten), so whenever I made their dresses I bought an extra half yard of fabric to make a little pair of matching shorts to wear under their dresses - that way if they did do a tumbling somersault, no one would see London or France! As they grew older they learned proper ladylike behavior.

[Trish]

honesty is the best policy here. I differ here as I would explain why. I think I would tell her that mom just found out that I was not dressing modestly and that we need to change now. I think I would let her wear her continue to wear her pants under her dresses though, then it is not 'cold turkey' and cause for rebellion. (we actually wear sweats or leggings under our skirts or dresses for warmth in the house) . At this age, she will tire of it real soon and you shouldn't have a problem. I think patience is the key here.

[Pastorj]

My daughter dresses very modestly as a 13 year old. Of course people define modesty differently. As to your situation, I would simply change her dress. As a 4 yr old she should still be easily conformed to the new dress standard. No real need to give explanations to a 4 yr old.

[Annie]

honesty is the best policy here. I differ here as I would explain why. I think I would tell her that mom just found out that I was not dressing modestly and that we need to change now.

If I were in this situation, this is exactly what I would say as well. I would explain "why" on her level. I would get more detailed with my older ones. (Maybe I wasn't clear in my previous post. I certainly do think it is important to give reasons; I just don't expect my younger ones to understand all my reasoning. Their job is simply to obey.) It has been fun to watch the younger ones absorbing our family values as their understanding increases. It's like a string of lights coming on one bulb at a time, and when maturity is reached, the whole string is lit up (at least we hope it is :smile ).

[lettheredeemedsayso]

My daughters like to run and tumble when they were small (preschool/kindergarten)' date=' so whenever I made their dresses I bought an extra half yard of fabric to make a little pair of matching shorts to wear under their dresses - that way if they did do a tumbling somersault, no one would see London or France! As they grew older they learned proper ladylike behavior.[/quote']

That is a great idea!

[John81]

If I were in this situation' date=' this is exactly what I would say as well. I would explain "why" on her level. I would get more detailed with my older ones. (Maybe I wasn't clear in my previous post. I certainly do think it is important to give reasons; I just don't expect my younger ones to understand all my reasoning. Their job is simply to obey.) It has been fun to watch the younger ones absorbing our family values as their understanding increases. It's like a string of lights coming on one bulb at a time, and when maturity is reached, the whole string is lit up (at least we hope it is :smile ).[/quote']

Great analogy! :thumb

[bzmomo7]

Ah, just make the necessary adjustments, like someone said, she is little and she will quickly forget about the change. Also, be very very greatful that the Lord showed you this NOW and not later, like me........I have two teenage daughters, and it is a whole different matter when you change things that late in the game. My little baby girl who is 6mo. will never know the difference, and for that I am thankful.