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Divorce, Remarriage And Repentance?


robmac68

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I am confused some on this whole subject. I hope someone will be kind enough to answer some of my questions. I might be "leaning on my own understanding" and I really do not want to do this.

In a conversation with my mother, the subject of homosexuals getting married came up and she stated her objection to it. I told her I felt she was wrong and shouldn't be against it. After her shock and probably her wish that I was still young enough to spank, she asked me how, as a Christian, I could make such a dumb statement. I told her I felt she liked to re-write the Bible for her family and friends so she might as well re-write it for the sodomites. This didn't go over well.

My sister was saved at the age of 9. When she was 18, she started dating an unsaved man, led him to the Lord and then married him. Seventeen years later, she cheated on him--several times. Her husband was willing to forgive, but my sister said she wasn't happy and wanted a divorce. I do not believe God recognized this divorce because it doesn't fall under fornication and her husband was willing to forgive her for adultery. My sister has since re-married to man that is not saved. My mother recognizes the fact that they are married by wishing them "Happy Anniversary" and sending a card. I told my mom that my sister is living in adultery, which is sin, and so is homosexuality. I feel God doesn't recognize her marriage to her current husband just like God doesn't recognize the marriage between sodomites. I believe that my mother is being hypocritical in the fact she will accept one marriage that God doesn't but wont accept another marriage. BTW, I am not calling for my mother to treat my sister's "other husband" like the plague. I just don't feel she should be sending anniversary wishes and cards and not to use the word 'husband' but to call this man by his name.

My mom said my sister has repented of her sins and asked God's forgiveness for her divorce. Question: if God doesn't recognize her divorce, how can she ask forgiveness?? I feel it is the same if I asked God to forgive me for being a puppy. I am not a puppy and God doesn't recognize me as such so how could I ask forgiveness? When my sister asked for forgiveness, she was already remarried. If this means she was committing adultery, would my sister have to ask forgiveness for adultery? If she did ask forgiveness for adultery, would her heart have to be repentative meaning she was willing to turn her back on adultery? I feel that each time she Biblically "knows" her new husband that she is committing adultery. If this is true, wouldn't she need to be willing to stop "knowing" her new husband in order to truly be repentative?? If she was never willing to stop physical relations with her new hubby, which I believe is adultery, can she really repent? If she did repent enough to be sorry for her divorce, does this mean she is off the hook for the sin of adultery with her new husband? Is she free to be remarried because she asked for forgiveness for the divorce?

If two people are unsaved, divorced, and remarried and then get saved, are they free from the sin of adultery? If marriage is an institution of God, if unsaved people enter this institution, does God recognize the marriage? If God doesn't recognize it, when they get saved, should they renew their vows?

I do have alot of questions on this and any help will greatly be appreciated.

God Bless,
Rob

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I am confused some on this whole subject. I hope someone will be kind enough to answer some of my questions. I might be "leaning on my own understanding" and I really do not want to do this.

In a conversation with my mother, the subject of homosexuals getting married came up and she stated her objection to it. I told her I felt she was wrong and shouldn't be against it. After her shock and probably her wish that I was still young enough to spank, she asked me how, as a Christian, I could make such a dumb statement. I told her I felt she liked to re-write the Bible for her family and friends so she might as well re-write it for the sodomites. This didn't go over well.

My sister was saved at the age of 9. When she was 18, she started dating an unsaved man, led him to the Lord and then married him. Seventeen years later, she cheated on him--several times. Her husband was willing to forgive, but my sister said she wasn't happy and wanted a divorce. I do not believe God recognized this divorce because it doesn't fall under fornication and her husband was willing to forgive her for adultery. My sister has since re-married to man that is not saved. My mother recognizes the fact that they are married by wishing them "Happy Anniversary" and sending a card. I told my mom that my sister is living in adultery, which is sin, and so is homosexuality. I feel God doesn't recognize her marriage to her current husband just like God doesn't recognize the marriage between sodomites. I believe that my mother is being hypocritical in the fact she will accept one marriage that God doesn't but wont accept another marriage. BTW, I am not calling for my mother to treat my sister's "other husband" like the plague. I just don't feel she should be sending anniversary wishes and cards and not to use the word 'husband' but to call this man by his name.

My mom said my sister has repented of her sins and asked God's forgiveness for her divorce. Question: if God doesn't recognize her divorce, how can she ask forgiveness?? I feel it is the same if I asked God to forgive me for being a puppy. I am not a puppy and God doesn't recognize me as such so how could I ask forgiveness? When my sister asked for forgiveness, she was already remarried. If this means she was committing adultery, would my sister have to ask forgiveness for adultery? If she did ask forgiveness for adultery, would her heart have to be repentative meaning she was willing to turn her back on adultery? I feel that each time she Biblically "knows" her new husband that she is committing adultery. If this is true, wouldn't she need to be willing to stop "knowing" her new husband in order to truly be repentative?? If she was never willing to stop physical relations with her new hubby, which I believe is adultery, can she really repent? If she did repent enough to be sorry for her divorce, does this mean she is off the hook for the sin of adultery with her new husband? Is she free to be remarried because she asked for forgiveness for the divorce?

If two people are unsaved, divorced, and remarried and then get saved, are they free from the sin of adultery? If marriage is an institution of God, if unsaved people enter this institution, does God recognize the marriage? If God doesn't recognize it, when they get saved, should they renew their vows?

I do have alot of questions on this and any help will greatly be appreciated.

God Bless,
Rob


I am not sure what you are saying here. Are you saying you support homosexual "marriage", or just said that to upset your mum?
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I am not sure what you are saying here. Are you saying you support homosexual "marriage", or just said that to upset your mum?


Oh my, I hope I wasn't really that vague, but that is sometimes a problem of mine. I have so many thoughts and questions, I can't get them down. Anyway, no and no. I definately do not support homosexual marriage and would never say that to upset my mother. I just felt she was picking and choosing sin and wanted to make a point to her. I felt she was being hypocritical in accepting my sisters "re-marriage" but than she is against homosexual marriage. God doesn't recognize any so how can she?
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I think it is a good question. We have had to figure that one out too. It kind of boils down to, is remarriage a single act of adultery, or is it a continuous act? For one thing, once a person is married, would God want yet another divorce? We know the answer is no. So that means you should remain as you are. Which makes me think its a one-time adultery Are divorced/remarried people supposed to be church disciplined? No...which means, again, its probably a one-time adultery.

Actually my feeling is that God understands it much better than we do. We feel that divorce and remarriage is the modern day equivalent of polygamy. God sees each marriage as "marriage". God said not to multiply wives...every time in the OT when a man had several wives, he also had several problems! Nothing good ever came from multiple wives. God did allow it, but did not bless it. In the NT, He commands us to stay with our spouse...and says pastors and deacons should not be divorced...husband of ONE wife....and if its true that divorce/remarriage is similar to polygamy in God's eyes, then that furthers the idea of a pastor or deacon not being divorced. On the other hand (and the good news) is that if divorce/remarriage is similar to polygamy in God's eyes, then He can still use people like this! Obviously people who have been divorced and remarried have their own sets of problems...generally child support and custody issues, sometimes nasty ex's....and other issues. It kind of brings about its own "punishment" if you will, just like any other poor life decisions.

However I do not believe God looks on a remarried person as living in sin. I believe its more like...well...you shouldn't have remarried. But now you did. So now you need to go on from here and do the right thing and serve God. Be repentant for not seeking God in your life decisions....but repenting doesn't mean breaking yet another marriage that God now sees you in.

Hope that makes sense! It doesn't really mean "Oh its just one sin, I can get remarried"....on the other hand...God used many polygamists...they just received the "fruit" of their decisions in some pretty miserable ways. And God's only punishment is that you can't be a pastor or deacon.

Homosexuality on the other hand is considered an abomination to God and something that only people basically given over to the devil do. I know that's horrible to have to say, but its in the Bible. Marriage is natural...homosexuality is definitely NOT natural.

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  • 2 years later...
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John the Baptist was beheaded because he told Herod that it was unlawful for him to have his brother Philip's wife.  Note that while Herod had married Herodias, she was still referred to as--guess who--Philip's wife.

 

That says it all for me.

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