Jump to content
  • Welcome Guest

    For an ad free experience on Online Baptist, Please login or register for free

When is a concern gossip?


Recommended Posts

  • Members

Hello I have a situation here, I had some family members and personal friends on a seperate facebook, I have posted about the house we just lost and I was hurt and I am hurt that we are not having kids right now and other things, then later on I said that I needed support and guidence from friends and family because I felt like hurting myself, well i tried to call my mom last night about something else and she chewed me out for feelin bad about not having the house and children, she said we are both disabled and we will not be able to afford a house and children. That really hurt me and there was other things said.
I posted something that gossip hurts family members of about something and my sister asked me why , I pmed her and she said in a nasty way that it wasn't gossip it was a concern, sorry i was concerned about you.
So my question is when is a Concern turned into gossip because my mom was chewing me out left and right last night about what I posted on facebook and my sister's repeats them to her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

First of all, you have to consider whether or not they are saved and striving to follow Christ. If they are, then certain things can be more expected, but if not, then we can't expect them to care much for Scripture, let alone abide by it.

Gossip, for the most part, is simply talking about someone else for the sake of self, not the other person. Gossip is mostly about wanting to feel important by sharing something another doesn't know; or trying to stir up something for the sake of feeling some power, or an attempt to make another look bad and by comparrison yourself look better...that sort of thing.

Concern is when one truly has concern and speaks with another about someone in the hopes of bringing about some form of help.

With families this can get really complicated, especially if they are not all saved and striving to obey the Word.

Also, we need to be aware that whatever we post online is something that can and very often will be shared with others, sometimes those we would rather not know of it. So, on that level, we have to maintain caution and use prudence in what we choose to post online.

I do hope and pray all will work out, as God says, in some way all will work toegether for good, and that you and your husband will have the time to be still and see how God is yet working for your good in your lives.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Try forgiving them. I found peace in a similar situation when I let go of the "hurt" and forgave them. They obviously have a different opinion than you do. My family (parents, sisters, brother) and I have not been close for over thirty years, but we still are cordial to one another when we meet or talk, but that hasn't come easily. I had to choose at one time between them and the Lord, and I know I made the right choice. I told them that if I have to I can live without them, and for the most part, I have. I didn't want it to come to that, and told them so, but they kept pushing the envelope so to speak, and I had no other choice. The Lord has blessed me mightily since I stayed with him, and He continues to bless me daily. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Hello I have a situation here, I had some family members and personal friends on a seperate facebook, I have posted about the house we just lost and I was hurt and I am hurt that we are not having kids right now and other things, then later on I said that I needed support and guidence from friends and family because I felt like hurting myself, well i tried to call my mom last night about something else and she chewed me out for feelin bad about not having the house and children, she said we are both disabled and we will not be able to afford a house and children. That really hurt me and there was other things said.
I posted something that gossip hurts family members of about something and my sister asked me why , I pmed her and she said in a nasty way that it wasn't gossip it was a concern, sorry i was concerned about you.
So my question is when is a Concern turned into gossip because my mom was chewing me out left and right last night about what I posted on facebook and my sister's repeats them to her.


My personal test. Is it truth or a lie are you praying or talking about it and do you love the person.
If it's true, your praying, and love them and share it with other true prayer warriors, it's a concern.
If its a lie or true and you're talking not praying I wonder if you love them; it's gossip.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Administrators

I kinda lean toward the idea that if someone posts something about themselves on facebook, it becomes public domain in a way - so others talking about it isn't gossip. And it could be concern, even if it seemed to be gossip. As a society today, we are so prone to consider anything anyone does our own business as well, I think the lines between gossip and concern have blurred. Does that make sense?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Knowing no more than I do about this situation, its difficult to comment on, yet I do believe your mother, perhaps even your sister, is concerned about your welfare, but perhaps they did not go about it in the best manner.

I want to add this, but I am not directing it to you, or your family, its just an allegory of a fictitious family.

There is lots of times when parents, & or even brothers & or sisters are concerned about their daughter, son, brother, sister, & they offer some very good advise, even in a good loving way, yet its not accepted in a loving manner, & they may offer advise even when advise has not been sought, yet most of the time its only given because they love you & want to prevent you from making a mistake.

I will give one example that I have witnessed personally, my sister, she would never accept no advise from father or mother, no matter in what manner they would give it, she would blow up, get mad, doing anything she could just to spite them. She was that way a bit in our early growing up years, when she became a teenager she got worse, them after high school she got impossible. And of course, she blames them for everything she has done that has caused her bad consequences. I might add, she would have the same type of reaction if I offer advise. In fact if anyone offered her advise that disagreed with her thoughts the reaction was bad.

I recall one time dad had bought her a car, winter time came & he asked her to let him check the anti-freeze, she would not let him. Later I stopped by hoping she would let me, but she would not. We explained that without anti-freeze during the cold winter days the engine would freeze & bust, ruining the motor. That winter her car motor froze & busted. Who did she blame? Father & I, it was our fault.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


she wasn't even praying with my mom, they were talking.


I don't know if they're saved or not.

Ask them to pray for you situation, that God would provide...take time and think of specifics.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

We have closed the facebook with my family, today for awhile maybe several months because, i asked a question to my sister why she don't comment on my posts and Christian videos I post about my tesimonies, she then snapped at me that she don't have time and I don't understand her working too much, her daughter is in college and all. She said awful stuff too me. Which we decided to close it my family don't have time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Unsaved people are generally hostile to the gospel and Christian living. The Bible even says so. You should not seek the advice of the unsaved because they are blind and cannot see. Knowing that, while it does sadden us when we're attacked by our heathen family members, it's wisdom and knowledge from God we should be seeking. This comes through prayer, reading His Word, and through a multitude of counselors: your brothers and sisters at your local church.

Most of my family dislike me greatly, the number of actual Christians could be counted on one hand, however my love and fear of the Lord is greater than my love and fear of them.

I know some folks who practice popery who send their children to our local church's academy and even became professing New Testament Christians for a time. However, the pressures exerted from their heathen family members brought them back into the world and under the fold of the Catholic church. They love and fear man more than God. Because of this wicked sin, their lives are in disarray and they exasperatedly say they don't know why! We know why, it's chastening from the Lord because of their sins!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Unsaved people are generally hostile to the gospel and Christian living. The Bible even says so. You should not seek the advice of the unsaved because they are blind and cannot see. Knowing that, while it does sadden us when we're attacked by our heathen family members, it's wisdom and knowledge from God we should be seeking. This comes through prayer, reading His Word, and through a multitude of counselors: your brothers and sisters at your local church.

Most of my family dislike me greatly, the number of actual Christians could be counted on one hand, however my love and fear of the Lord is greater than my love and fear of them.

I know some folks who practice popery who send their children to our local church's academy and even became professing New Testament Christians for a time. However, the pressures exerted from their heathen family members brought them back into the world and under the fold of the Catholic church. They love and fear man more than God. Because of this wicked sin, their lives are in disarray and they exasperatedly say they don't know why! We know why, it's chastening from the Lord because of their sins!

My wife has virtually no contact with any of her remaining family. I still have contact with my family that is nearby but it's limited.

Jesus said He came to divide families and when some family members are lost and some saved, there is certainly division there, especially if the saved family members are striving to actualy follow Christ in how they live.

As hard as it may be, we must put God first.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Did Jesus put God first when he cared for his mother? Was he divided from her?
John 19:26When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! 27Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.
Was Peter 'divided' from his mother-in-law?
Matthew 8:14 And when Jesus was come into Peter's house, he saw his wife's mother laid, and sick of a fever.
Was the Phillippian jailer divided from his family after he got saved?
Acts 16:31 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.

God's model for the family can be found in Proverbs 31.The family is and always has been intended to be in unity and harmony. All through the scriptures, Honoring and loving each other in a family is God's plan and command. What Jesus meant by division is that when a man gets saved, he is a new creature with new desires that will cause disagreement and, inevitable conflict even with his own family. But the Philippian Jailer's whole family got saved, do you reckon Jesus intended for division in his family thereafter? No, He did not. The only legitimate 'division' God wants is the 'division' created by genuine holiness, not "holyer than thouness" It is expected that there be 'variance' between a saved man and his unsaved loved ones, if ones lives Godly, but how can one do HOLY things like "honor father and mother" if they ignore them and seldom 'contact' them?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...