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brosmith

Worldly Music in Church Weddings

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There was a wedding recently in the church where I used to be the associate pastor. We left the church last summer over several issues including music. My family did not attend the wedding (although my wife and daughter were formally invited). I thought it wise not to allow them to go. My caution was based upon the type of music that was used while we were attending there.

Several days after the wedding we were given a CD of the service. I was somewhat dumbfounded but not altogether surprised by the use of worldly music. In the year and a half that we were a part of this church, the pastor illustrated over and over again that he is a compromiser and that he does not know the meaning of Biblical separation. This is just another example of his chosen path of apostasy.

Here are the 3 music selections that were used in the wedding:
(links are included so that you can play the recording of the actual service):

Note: The links that were provided have been removed
because the files are no longer accessible on the internet.

The m3u files will play the mp3 files without having to download them.

Edited by brosmith

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My sound function is dead on my computer.

Usually some discretion is given to the couple to have the wedding how they want it.

I wonder what the original post is supposed to prove about the role of (former) preachers in vetoing music in churches which are not attended?

I wonder if family members also can be deemed to be capable of realizing that one person's music preference may not be another's, even if they do attend? I wonder also whether the mere presence of someone at a wedding actually means that he or she 'likes' the music?

Edited by farouk

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PS: I might not like this particular music, either; but I would have thought that the main issue at a wedding is identifying with the joy of two people being united before God, who have been gracious enough to invite others to witness it.

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There is music that needs to be kept out of the church, even when a wedding is taking place. Yet many churches will let any type of music into their churches when its not regular worship services, and some let any type in during that time.

There is just not much fear of the Lord with some people, and others just don't know any better.

Once a friend was bad mouthing an Assembly of God Church. His son was going to get married there, and his son nor the woman he was marrying were members of this church. The pastor found out the songs they were going to use, and I believe there were two that he told them they could not use. they told him they would sue any song they pleased, that did not go over very well. Yet the pastor told them, leave those two songs out, pick two more songs that I approve of, and your welcome to have your wedding here, if not, them no wedding in this church.

My friend was surprised that I agreed with the pastor, and telling him he should not be bad mouthing him.

In the church is no place for worldly music, not even when its a wedding.

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I guess part of the issue for some ppl, would be: who's in charge here?

The church doesn't have to perform every wedding they are asked to perform and they don't have to allow anything into their church they deem inappropriate. The church/pastor is in charge with regards to what is and isn't acceptable in their church.

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I concur with John. Those gettting married are free to get married wherever they choose. If they don't like the rules at one place, they are welcome to go somewhere else.

Even secular venues have rules of behavior or limitations on guests. Why shouldn't churches?

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I guess it's all part of the 'package' of whether venue is going to be used at all.

But I don't think it's so much the venue and the touchy-feelliness of the building that is important, as it is the company of the fellow Christians and friends. The legal side is different again; in some countries any 'religious' ceremony has to be preceded by a civil ceremony.

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Jesus' Churches are sacred, set apart, and must be guarded, and the world kept out. Each one has the right to refuse that which does not bring glory to God from coming inside.

Amen!!

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Jesus' Churches are sacred, set apart, and must be guarded, and the world kept out. Each one has the right to refuse that which does not bring glory to God from coming inside.


Agreed,

Our church would normally only marry a church member and would reject the wedding if one party was an unbeliever.

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Whatever music, slides, videos and such a couple plans to use needs to be provided ahead of time to make sure it's acceptable and so the media people can prepare everything.


John81:

Okay, so control is better than trust, and a spirit of fellowship, among Christians?

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It's not control - it's maintaining the standards and testimony of the church. As far as the 'trust and fellowship', I daresay that if a church is in close enough fellowship with the bride & groom, they won't need to check the music. And if there wasn't that familiarity - well, it's not a matter of trust so much as it is allowing for the fact that people outside the church family, no matter how sincere, may not understand the specifics of the church's standards.

My church has chosen to escape all these issues by allowing only members (or members of like-churches) to be married in our building. It also protects us from the legal consequences that might come by refusing to host unnatural marriages.

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Do all professing Christians properly discern right from wrong when it comes to music, videos and such? Some churches marry those outside their church as well, can it be known the level of their spiritual maturity or even if they are born again or not?

Many professing Christians today are caught up in the world. They are just as likely to want to play music from Black Eyed Peas, Beyonce or Toby Keith as are those not professing to be Christians.

How many professing Christians falsely believe there is nothing wrong with being seen wearing skimpy swimwear, including bikinis, and would have no problem wanting to show pictures or videos including such at their wedding? About as many as the world.

Should a pastor allow wickedness to be played from the sound system and shown on the screen just because somebody wants it that way? Not if he's following Christ!

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Should a pastor allow wickedness to be played from the sound system and shown on the screen just because somebody wants it that way? Not if he's following Christ!


Amen and Amen! But then I have been called "judgmental" and "unloving" dozens of times for saying stuff like that.

The particular pastor that I was referring to has repeatedly compromised in the area of music as well as other areas. The recent wedding at this church included music by "Kenny G" (a modern jazz musician). If the pastor would listen to what I have to say I would tell him one thing: REPENT OF THIS THY WICKEDNESS!

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It's not control - it's maintaining the standards and testimony of the church. As far as the 'trust and fellowship', I daresay that if a church is in close enough fellowship with the bride & groom, they won't need to check the music. And if there wasn't that familiarity - well, it's not a matter of trust so much as it is allowing for the fact that people outside the church family, no matter how sincere, may not understand the specifics of the church's standards.

My church has chosen to escape all these issues by allowing only members (or members of like-churches) to be married in our building. It also protects us from the legal consequences that might come by refusing to host unnatural marriages.

Salyan, our church does the same thing. Our dear pastor says "I'm not in the marriage business, I'm in the salvation business", meaning he's not obligated by God to marry anyone who happens to pass by and deisres to be married by him. He will only consent to officiate at a wedding when he knows the couple, and knows them to be mature spiritually and ready to abide by Biblical principles in their lives.

The standards *must* be kept. Worldly attitudes, including secular music and immodetst dress that are often part of wedding ceremonies, cannot be permitted to infect the churches. In Joshua 7 Achan took silver, gold and a "goodly Babylonish garment" from the spoils that they were specifically commanded NOT to touch. His entire family, all his cattle, and servants were stoned then burned because of his disobedience. We have been commanded to separate ourselves from the world. The penalty for making compromises in order to "not seem too harsh or unloving" will mean death to us and death to those for whom we should be serving as a witness.

You cannot make compromises even in seemingly little things (such as music for a wedding ceremony) because they invite greater compromises and greater sin.

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Even if it is control, so what? If a couple wanted to get married anywhere else, there would be rules that they would have to comply with in order to rent the place. So, just because it's a church, we should say that there should be no overseer of things? No.

Weddings in our church are only for members as well.

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I didn't start the thread and maybe the emphasis has shifted a teeny bit from the OP (maybe I contributed to this, I don't know). The original poster seemed to think that boycotting a wedding was the thing to do in case the music did not meet one's approval. Whereas I wonder whether it can be reasonably assumed that different people can have varying musical tastes, and being there to witness a friend's wedding is the main reason for the invitation to be issued graciously.

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Individuals who are invited to a wedding have the right to decide to attend or not, whatever the reason.


HappyChristian:

Yes, indeed.

It might be wise to keep quiet about the reason, why, however, if it a matter of music would keep one away.

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Like, if it was our wedding, we would have expected someone simply to say they were already committed to something else on that day, instead of friends and relatives of ours who we assumed would want to come, to have told us straight: we're not coming because we don't think we'll like the music.

Blessings.

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