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Seeking fellowship


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Well hello everyone!!!! I have tried to be a IFB and will stand firm with the teachings of the KJB. I tend to be a worldly girl and somehow lose track of my fathers mission. I have been saved for 15 years. I was a member of a very small IFB church in my area. Theres the key word....Was!!!! I grew up in a Methodist family and was taught well considering the shape of society these days. As a child I was believer but found the church rather dull and the old ladies mean...lol.. I didnt have the big picture for many years. As a teenager I was reckless and angery. I was saved after a suicide stunt . when I screamed his name in my darkness he answered. Sadly, I feared sharing my experience..the change i felt inside...I knew I was loved. I supose the world had me good as it sometimes still does but I stopped talking and fell deaf to my fathers call. In my late twenties I was invited to a tent revival. I figured sure I dont mind jesus and I love the bluegrass. ...What found me there was jesus....I finally realized the full picture and it was amazing... makes me giddy thinking about it. I was on fire i bought a church van with my social security settlement and started a childrens ministry out of my church. I have never felt so alive as the two years i spent feeding on the word. Once again I wandered back into the wilderness and havent been back since. Lately I just want My father back in my life. I feel like hes mad at me...oh and im sure her is...shamfully unworthy. The past year ive prayed...and forgot...asked for a reminder...and feel like the response is the bird. I wanna live my life on fire!!! I think about fellowship often and almost plan a visit to church. My motivation is nill infact when sunday rolls around I forget its sunday. I hope that by reaching out tonight and spending time with my father I can feel that love...that wholess...again.

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